Santa's Worldwide Adventure (A non-EU Journeyman)

Santa Squad Asante.jpg


Sorry everyone for the massive delay between updates. Call it a mix of work, life, mental health and Tunic. With that in mind, here's the latest happenings from the save.

Well, this is unfortunate. Due to Ghana’s representatives having a rubbish time in intercontinental competition last year, the reputation of the league has taken a massive hit. Ironically enough, we’ve swapped places with our old stomping group of Uganda. But hey, there’s much to like around here. We have a king as a lifelong patron of the club, our own TV channel and a 40,000-seater stadium. Best of all, Anna in the canteen makes a ****** brilliant mocha brownie.

20230819181805_1.jpg

Oh, and money. Lots and lots of money. How could I forget the absolute treasure trove back there?

I already have the largest wage budget in Ghana, but for reasons I cannot understand, the board have decided to double my wage budget. Not only that, but they’ve still given me a £600k transfer budget to play with. It’s like they want me to be financially irresponsible.

We say ta-ta to a massive group of players this summer, as none of them offered either enough immediate quality or enough potential for a place in the squad. We had a decent amount of dead weight on the books though, so a big clean out is exactly what I wanted.

While we don’t have a mandate from the board who we can sign, there’s no point going full Mourinho like I did in my last summer with URA. Tactical flexibility is also very desirable, as I’d like to be able to flit between formations at will. With our funds, we might even be able to bring some Ghanaians back home, but securing the next wave of homegrown talent is a must.

20230819123018_1.jpg


With that in mind, three of the faces first through the door are all teenagers. I’ll be totally honest, a large part of Basty Honey’s arrival is his name. Even if he’d have been **** I probably would have brought him in. That he has massive potential makes it all the sweeter of a deal.

20230819184717_1.jpg


But it’s John Mensah is by far the most exciting of the youngsters. For a cool £51k, we’ve been able to gobble up the brightest talent in the league. He’s already the best player in the division at 18 and taking him away from Accra Lions is a nice little extra. He is going to slot right into the Amaoko shaped hole in my heart.

20230819123206_1.jpg

20230819123036_1.jpg

I haven’t completely gambled on youth though, with some older heads coming in to push us to a Confederation Cup winning level. Isaac Sackey and Adams come in to improve our back three and give us a great defensive midfield option. Nathan Opoku will give us some good depth in attack, with apparently lots of room to grow. Salim Adams and Mohammed Lamine come in as the new starting midfield duo. It’s very harsh on Morrison and Danso who were perfectly respectable last year, but they are a clear upgrade.
20230819122836_1.jpg

20230819123145_1.jpg

20230819122906_1.jpg
And that was how it was meant to stay.

But then the window kept moving along and I just kept looking at that big pile of cash. Just sat there. Gathering dust and cobwebs. It would be rude to not spend it. And seeing as I spent far too much money on him before, it only seemed logical that I should exactly that same thing again for Bobosi Byaruhanga. My coaches don't seem to rate him as highly as I, but that's why I have final say.
20230819122653_1.jpg


So despite all that activity, I still have over half of my wage budget and about half a million in transfer budget. I genuinely worry what they thought I was going to get up to over the summer.

I'll do another update shortly with the results of Continental Cup qualifying, but little spoiler, I think things might go quite well this campaign.
 
Santa Squad Asante.jpg
As it’s been a while since I did an update, I thought I might as well do the whole season. And split it up between the home campaign and our continental adventures because we all have loved ones/saves to get back to.

20230908225840_1.jpg
Domestically, we have become death, destroyer of league tables. The momentum we ended last season with not only carried over but somehow became even stronger. We started the season with a resounding win in the Ghanaian Supercup and didn’t look back from there.

After a summer of strengthening when most of my rivals lost players, to call us the favourites for the title might be the understatement of the year. I suspect the bookies stopped taking bets around the same time we tore Accra Lions apart 5-1 two months into the season.

For a while, it looked like we were going to be run close by the aforementioned Accra Lions, but our two fixtures against them, as well as a couple of slips of their own, meant that our winning margin was huge. Heck, it was that much of a foregone conclusion that I didn’t even get the title win animation. Game didn't think it was worth celebrating.

We are able to end the season undefeated, only four points off a perfect score and with a goal difference in three figures. That it’s only a 34 game season makes that stat even more terrifying for anyone else who has the misfortune of visiting the Baba Yara Stadium.
20230908221614_1.jpg

The rest of Ghana wasn’t even able to get a respite in the cup, with us cruising through to the final despite me starting a rotated team for everything before the semifinal. Can’t let Hearts of Oak go un-crushed, the fans won’t stand for mercy.

I feel bad for Accra Lions, I really do. They have put together a great campaign and really deserve more than the scant reward they receive. If it wasn’t for us, they would clearly be the class of the field, picking up the unwanted record of the most points ever for a runner up. Their star striker Richard Zumah has had an incredible season in front of goal too, but not even that could net him the golden boot. Opoku edged him out at the death, meaning that despite more than a goal a game, Zumah leaves for his summer holidays with nothing to show for it.
That is because Ghanaian defenders have a new bogeyman, a new menace who they warn their children about come bedtime. Fear him, run from him, but Nathan Opoku is inevitable.

After some early rotation between him and Shaibu two of them, Opoku has now become the main man up front. Both forwards are having a lovely old time whenever they play, but Nathan is having the season of his life. For a man who’s not really played first team football for the better part of three years, him getting nearly a goal every 50 minutes is astounding. Erling Wholand?
20230908225326_1.jpg
The other recruits have also been a roaring success. Lamine and Byaruhanga have formed a lovely partnership in midfield and while they may not have the raw goal contributions I was hoping for, they have provided a great platform for success.

Adams and Sackey have become two thirds of a defence that is at times more potent than my forwards. Adams is a constant threat from set pieces and Sackey has nearly a dozen from the penalty spot for the season.

Perhaps the biggest surprise has been Benjamin Mensah. Brought in as a backup, injuries to my main man Agypaong forced him into the limelight and he’s shone rather brightly. Constantly running up and down the flank and causing the opposition problems, he has been a delight.

What about John Mensah? The boy who I expected great things from? Let’s just say he’s ****** brilliant and leave it at that. Wherever I go next, he’s coming with.
20230908225355_1.jpg

I’d love to say the same about Basty Honey, but he went to pastures new after only six months. While I didn’t want to sell him at all, he kicked up a right fuss when IFK Goteburg came calling, so I just had to try and get the best price I could. Which was a pittance. The loan back will help with the end of season fixture congestion, but I still feel robbed.

It wasn’t long though until an agent approach came across my desk that really made me smile.
20230819180413_1.jpg

It should be obvious by now, but I love giving an old dog one last day of glory possibly even more than unearthing a wonderkid. So when the great Andre Ayew was there to be snapped up, I didn’t waste any time. He’s retiring at the end of the season and basically can’t run any more, but those mentals and technicals are not to be missed. With Oppong and Mensah both injured in the same match that week for 6 weeks, the timing couldn’t be better either. Perhaps even suspiciously good.

The legends proved to be correct, Ayew was a continual menace either as a starter or an impact sub. That he scored a peach of a left footed curler in his last ever match to win the Ghanaian cup was actually rather lovely.
20230908223807_1.jpg

Aaaand then we all had to see a 36 year old man do a chicken dance to celebrate. Stay classy Andre.

20230908232228_1.jpg

That brought the season to a close at home, the game claiming a domestic treble completed. I never really count Supercups though, but to win a double in such a dominant manner is still a massive achievement. That this invincible squad still has clear room for improvement must be terrifying to the rest of Ghanaian football.
20230908224924_1.jpg

Asante Kotoko have always been a force in Ghana though, it’s on the continental stage that they’ve fallen short for so long. And that shall be what we cover next.
 
Last edited:
Santa Squad Asante.jpg

It’s been a long, long time since the people of Kumasi had bragging rights over the rest of Africa. The two time Champions League winners haven’t tasted continental success since Luke defeated the Emperor and Michael Jackson told Billy Jean to Beat It. Yep, all the way back in 1983.

Heck, the last time Asante even got into any final was in the inaugural CAF Confederation Cup of 2004. That year saw the brave Porcupines lose on penalties against biggest rivals and capital dwellers Hearts of Oak, which is also the very last final any side from nation of the Black Stars have competed in.
Time to change that.

Before we get to the meat of the competition though, first we have to qualify. There are three rounds until we get to the group stage proper and I have no idea how, but we get truly fortuitous draws every single time. Those fixture selectors are absolutely going on Santa’s ultra-nice list.
20230819123439_1.jpg
20230819123447_1.jpg
20230819123512_1.jpg
20230819123524_1.jpg
20230819123808_1.jpg
20230819123824_1.jpg
Oh no, am I the bad guy? Over the course of three opponents, we score a faintly ridiculous 42 goals with only a surprisingly even and feisty away day at Buildcon of Zambia posing any challenge. Honestly, it just felt unfair and mean for the other matches. I hope they at least got something nice out of the gift shop for their troubles?

Having finally gotten to the group stage, it shouldn’t prove too much of a hassle. Al-Ittihad Tripoli and NA Hussein Day are not going to be embarrassed, but we should be good enough to handle them easily. The rematch against Al-Ahly is something I am very much looking forward to though. After getting battered by the Egyptian giants while in Uganda, I want revenge.
20230916152732_1.jpg
My predictions proved to be correct, with our other two group competitors completely unable to stop either us or Al-Ahly from picking up maximum points before our showdown to see who would top the group. Might have given them a little too much credit to be honest.
20230916150243_1.jpg
20230916150256_1.jpg
Oh how sweet payback is! Al-Ahly fall to the boot of Sackey and Shaibu as we strike late on to inflict a 3-0 home victory that is greeted by much delight in the dugout. That we can make it wins both home and away is just really, really satisfying. Even if there was more than a fair share of luck involved.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that this database was made in Cairo, as Egypt might be a little overpowered. While Europe can’t compete with the riches of the English Premier League, Africa has the same with the Egyptian Premier League. What is it with EPL’s and financial domination?
20230916150143_1.jpg
20230916150129_1.jpg
They make up nearly half of the remaining competitors, and annoyingly they don’t take on each other until the next round. Following on from a dominant victory over 37-time Sudanese champs Al-Hilal Omdurman, we once more face a team from the land of pharaohs. Our semifinal opponents Ismaily, sit fourth in their table when we play them and are the bookies favourites to come out as victors.
20230916145928_1.jpg
20230916145921_1.jpg
Take that bookies! We ruin everyone’s accumulators by overcoming this not insignificant hurdle with some serious panache.
Our reward for making it to the final? The Egyptian champions Zamalek, who were going for a treble themselves! This is a team that should be vying for the Champions League, not down here with us.
20230916155652_1.jpg
20230916155737_1.jpg

They have players earning nearly the same as my entire squad. Heck, they have an Argentinian! Where did they get him from! I didn’t think South American’s were allowed, that feels like cheating.

20230916160546_1.jpg

With the final also being a two-legged affair it presented us with a rather annoying problem. While leg one would see us at full strength, the second leg was going to be held rather close to the start of the world cup. Which you wouldn’t have thought was a problem at this level, but Chris Hughton loves making my goalkeeper and captain Asare a member of his squads. He never plays him, he’s just there for the vibes.

While those important pre-tournament team building activities are great for Fred’s mood, they present me with not having my starting goalkeeper and leader available for the second leg of the final. Good thing his backup Danlad is half decent, if mentally checked out as he’s on his way on a free to Simba of Tanzania in the summer.

I had hoped that we could make the most of having Asare in the first leg. Those dreams lasted exactly 5 minutes until Zamalek swung in a corner and that pesky Argentine powered the ball into the net with a thumping header. It took a while a few close calls, but eventually Mohammed Adams returned the favour with a spookily similar goal to Franco.

Isaac Annan getting himself a stupid yellow card is very much not wanted, meaning that he’ll be suspended for the second leg.

Great, all I need, even more players out. Could have been worse though, I’m just glad that we’re not going to be chasing a scoreline going into the second leg a week after.

So it all came down to this. Ninety minutes would define our season and fulfil the first of my big goals here at Asante Kotoko. A proper end to a properly good season.

It was a tight match, but we were able to strike first, Mo Adams getting his huge frame in front of the Zamalek defenders to nod in a dangerous free kick and prove that his face deserves to be on the Egyptian team’s dartboard. From there, both us and Zamalek struggled to finish off our chances. Danlad acquitted himself well despite having played so few matches that he struggled to find his gloves, unlike Opoku who was having an off day at the worst time possible.
20230916152413_1.jpg
As the game progressed, we both had chances, but none of them good and neither of us were able to properly take what scraps we create. I couldn’t be prouder of the lads out there, giving everything they could and showing their quality. Come 70 minutes though, the legs began to tire, especially for our intrepid wingbacks both on bookings.

With no direct replacements on the bench, I went for safety and size over scoring a second. Five big centre backs, sitting in a row. Osei and Mensah came on with the express instruction to just get in the way of Zamalek’s wingers. No thoughts, just bouncers. We had a couple of late scares, but we were able to hang on to glory.
20230901212944_1.jpg

With the final whistle came the massive relief. The cutscene played and with Asare absent, Issac Oppong lifted the trophy and triggered the confetti that somehow manages to always stop halfway across the pitch. That trophy is not leaving my side the entire trip back to Khumasi.
After this incredible season, there better be a ****** lovely parade for us. Sod it, call a national holiday for the nation, for we’ve brought a little slice of glory back to Ghana for the first time in over two decades. Make that forty for the people of the Ashanti region.
20230901213038_1.jpg

Ok, that might be a little too much.
20230901224011_1.jpg
20230901224230_1.jpg

Next year? Oh I want the big one. Bring on the Champions League!
 
Last edited:
Santa Squad Asante.jpg



I said I wasn’t going to apply for any jobs, only let them come to me. But when the Al-Ahly job comes up, the biggest club on the continent, you kinda have to. That they insult me by not even offering an interview is just downright rude. I would get it if the guy they hired was a big name, but he’s got an even lower rep than me! They have again cemented themselves as an enemy, my sole purpose in Africa will be to crush them whenever possible.

This summer could be a little difficult. While I’ve still got a plentiful transfer budget and a whole bunch of wages remaining, nearly all my guys have the three letters next to their name every manager fears. ‘Wtd’. Knew we couldn’t keep this amount of ability hidden for long.
With Champions League glory on my mind, I have enacted my inner Antonio Conte. I want experience and leaders in the dressing room. Tenacity and receding hairlines. Yeah it might mess up the club in 3 years time, but I’m not going to be here by then. Bring me my Ivan Perisic!

Bright Gyamfi comes in as my new starting right wing back and while he might not have the physicality of Mensah, his passing skills will make him a very useful threat from out wide. Moses Odjer also comes in from Serie C to offer more depth and experience in midfield, although he may have been a player too many. Our next EU import comes in the form of Samuel Obeng, who was playing in Spain’s second division last year on a consistent basis. He was also consistently bad, but we’ll look past that for now.
20231002164023_1.jpg
20231002164248_1.jpg
20231002164346_1.jpg

Neither of them aren’t the biggest possible mess up though, as my lovely fling with Andre Ayew convinces me that I need another member of Ghana’s most famous footballing family. How very fortunate then that both Jordan Ayew and his compatriot Jeffrey Schlupp are both being released by Crystal Palace.
20231002164048_1.jpg

Now while Schlupp actually makes a little bit of sense with his modest demands and flexibility, Ayew’s ego is out of control. The trouble is, he’s still really good and he knows it. So say hello to our new Head of Youth Development, Star Player and unofficial ‘Ghanian Joelinton’ on twice what anyone else is in a deal that will in no way can come back to bite me on the ****. Yeah, totally okay with this deal for three years. Pass me the copium will you?
20231002164032_1.jpg

Yes, they’ve all massively boosted the average age of the squad, but hey, what’s the point of this all without a bit of fun? Being able to recruit players leaving Italy, England and Spain is huge progress for the club’s standing, even if they aren’t the freshest of spring chickens.

Don’t worry though, not all of my signings came from Europe’s retirement homes.

I know that my scouts aren’t the best. In fact, they’re usually pretty rubbish. But every now and again, they find someone rather good. This year it’s the trips to Burkina Faso and Ivory Coast that have found a couple of little golden nuggets in the shape of Abdoul Sylla and Ousmane Koffi.
20231002164414_1.jpg

20231002164400_1.jpg

The two transfers are almost the inverse of each other. Sylla’s club accepted a rather tiny transfer fee, whereas ASEC Mimosas did completely take me for a ride with Koffi. However, while the young Ivorian’s contract was a cinch, Sylla’s was way more of a struggle. After much schmoozing, they both come in to the Asante Kotoko fold. More local talent Abubakari also joins to complete a very promising trio of arrivals.
20231002171120_1.jpg

They might all be a little light on the technicals, but I have faith that they can all grow nicely and felt we had to act before others swooped in. Also, before anyone says anything, no I didn’t realise at the time that my new record signing is on a one year deal. As soon as possible, that will be fixed.

Despite my worst fears, the outs have actually been fairly reasonable. While the prodigy Mensah kicked a bit of a fuss when clubs came knocking, he was quite reasonable in accepting that it would take £250k to pry him away from me. Hopefully that’s enough to deter the AI, because he’s going to be worth way, way more than that. Very.

I keep getting into weird exchanges with the AI though. They send lowball bid after lowball bid until eventually, they not only agree to my asking price, but a whole lot more. It happens with Agyepong, Shaibu, Adams and Boateng (a youth player I had barely noticed) which just seems a bit odd. Not only am I able to get way more upfront than I thought, but I’ve also been able to crowbar in a lovely sell on clause.

I wasn’t really looking to sell any of them, but these are the sort of sales that make my transfer addiction look slightly less financially ruinous.
20231002172659_1.jpg

20231002164012_1.jpg


Going into the season, everything has been looking rather dandy. The tactic is nice and settled, we’ve got a great mix of youth and experience and I’m still way under budget. The first ‘competitive’ game of the season threw up an unexpected curveball.
The Super Cup may be ours again for a second year running, but the Ghanian curtain raiser took a toll on my squad. Accra Lions decided to not just take Nathan Opuku out for six weeks, but also sidelined Obeng for the same period.

So, thanks to our closest competition deciding that neither of strikers are allowed functional ankles, I must do a bit of tactical tinkering. I both want to control possession, make the most of our great amount of midfielders, keep our wingbacks in the game and still keep a threat going forward without any forwards. So a tactic, within a tactic, within a tactic then? Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce the Turkducken.

Time to see if this will be a feast for me, or an overstuffed lump that just causes everyone indigestion for everyone.
 
Santa Squad Asante.jpg

If you and your assistant coaches ever happen to be sharing a hearty meal together over a festive period, I can now guarantee you one thing. Serve a Turducken and everyone is going home with a belly full of goals and a smile on their face as large as your procession stats!
What started as a way to limp through a striker injury crisis has now turned to my main plan of attack. Yes it’s not going to suit every team and we do have by far the best squad in the league, but the Turducken has been a delight.

20231021230224_1.jpg
Despite every now and again being very, very defensively suspect, the rest of Ghana just can’t handle to constant change of positions and runs from deep. And who would have guessed it, but playing my wingers as wingers actually works rather well! The things you learn in this crazy game.

The biggest beneficiaries of this change in tactic have been Sylla and most of all Lamine. Sylla has been in devastating form for the first half of the season and has become our main source of goals. Lamine has become a different player though after being let off the leash. Lung busting runs through the defence followed by either a confident smashed finish or a smart cutback have become a common sight at the Baba Yara Stadium.

This isn’t my first time meddling with a strikerless formation, but it is my first time doing it without world class players who can make it work. Most people would, correctly, not have messed around with a good thing once Nathan Opoku was back to fitness. But this tactic is the gift that keeps on giving. Quick interchanges, late runs and rampaging wingers have ripped the other teams in Ghana apart more viciously than I could have imagined. Yes we might be a little bit more porous defensively, but scoring over 4 goals a game is easily worth it.

Soooo, having broken the AI with my tactic, I may also have broken the player interactions very much to my advantage. John Mensah was adamant he wanted to leave and had already warned me that any bids matching £230k must be accepted. After batting away derisory offers all January, it finally happened with three days left to go. Fiorentina tuned in their radar to our young star and made a bid of £400k. I was able to get that up to £650k and a 40% sell on fee. Which is a lovely spoon of sugar to make the medicine go down.
20231021225719_1.jpg

However, just out of curiosity, I cancelled the deal when the final confirmation screen came up. I expected teddies to be thrown from prams, an angry agent beating down my door and death threats from his family. But no, absolutely nothing. Because they never bid that magic number, he never demanded the bid be accepted, despite it being nearly 3 times higher. It even did the magical thing of somehow fulfilling his promise, making him happy at the club again, firing his agent and signing a new deal. What space magic have I stumbled upon?
Instead of bleeding talent, I’m actually able to beef up my squad before deadline day. Kingley Gyamfi comes in to give us even more depth at centre back, but the much flashier signing is former Algerian international Houssem Mrezigue. Is this the best value deal possible? Oh **** no, he’s on silly wages (£3k per week, eeesh) and in a position we have plenty of cover for. But what can I say, I love me a deep lying midfielder who can over the entire spine of the pitch.
20231021224956_1.jpg
20231021225007_1.jpg

Our perfect first half has already gotten us a pretty good grasp on that Premier League trophy again and with our new recruits I’m hopeful of getting out of our Champions League group without much struggle. The qualifying rounds weren’t much a struggle, with a lovely trip to the Seychelles being a lovely bonus. Sometimes this whole management lark is rather grand.
20231021225340_1.jpg
 
Santa Squad Asante.jpg


This must be what being Celtic, Ludogorets or PSG feels like.

Domestic competition has now become that much of an afterthought that it just makes sense to make its own separate little post before we get into the juicy continental action. We now exist for those dozen or so matches away from the league where we really get to test ourselves. Sorry Ghana, but y’all need to catch up.

It’s not even like we’re being vampires and stealing all the best local talent. We’re bringing players back to Ghana, not taking from our own well. Might have to start sending them my squad players to try up the CAF coefficient.

The Turducken has continued to be an incredible success, no matter who puts on the shirt. We’re too fast, too technical and strong for anyone to match us for any real length of time and our movement sends defenders home dizzy. It comes as no surprise to say that we’ve not so much run off with the league as put it in a catapult and fired it into a different time zone. That our squad completely dominated the highest rated table shows the utter dominance we've exerted.

20231018210419_1.jpg


What was looking like a perfect season domestically was brought to a shuddering fault by a frankly horrific performance against King Faisal. We were sluggish, created little and let our unbeaten run that had lasted nearly two seasons come to an end with a whimper.

20231008184441_1.jpg

We end the season with a real head of steam though, battering everything else out of our way and ending the year beating our own previous points record. A cool 99 points and an average goal difference of 3.4 per game makes for some mighty fine reading. That we came so close to a completely flawless season only to throw it away does sting a little bit, but hey, that’s what next season is for right?

20231018210401_1.jpg
20231008191237_1.jpg

Whilst we had been able to set new records in the league, we came up short in the cup. Despite cruising all the way through to the semi-finals, we then have an absolute moment of madness. I don’t know why, but the rotation team that has so often still found a way to crush the domestic opponents is found completely wanting today. Hats off to Legon Cities, they clearly just wanted it more.

I’m actually really glad to see that WAFA SC have been able to cap off a brilliant season with a trophy. Third place and silverware for them is a brilliant effort considering their tiny resources. Maybe I shouldn’t be so blasé about the competitions in the homeland after all?
 
Santa Squad Asante.jpg


Now we come to the bit of the season with the challenge. Trying to bring Asante back to the top of African football.

Even though we won the Confederations Cup, we only get to bypass the first round of qualification. No one gets a free ride, which I like. Need not worry though as once again, qualification for the big show was nothing to break a sweat over. Nothing really stands out here, just a couple of regulation wins on our way to the group stages.
20231105163603_1.jpg

There we would get a lovely variety of opponents that would keep us nice and sharp. We land in a group that includes DR Congo side Vita FC, CSS of Tunisia and in a twist I didn’t like coming, last year’s finale opponents Zamalek.
20231022223720_1.jpg
20231022223730_1.jpg
20231022223758_1.jpg

20231022223829_1.jpg
20231022223839_1.jpg
20231022223859_1.jpg

This actually proves to be a fun group, with us all reasonably well matched and some good matches as a result. In what is shockingly our first loss in a competitive fixture with the Porcupine Warriors, we go down away to CSS, but good wins against Vita and some proper ding-dongs against Zamalek end with us edging out the Egyptian champs to top the group.
20231105170504_1.jpg

Our reward for winning the group is a game against everyone’s favourite team from Jo-burg and Leeds based pop-rock band, the Kaiser Chiefs.
20231022223921_1.jpg
20231022224012_1.jpg

The first leg was a match to make me question if any of my players had tried to rig the result. After taking a nice secure 2-0 lead, we just couldn't make any further headway. Chance after chance after chance came and went without us hitting the back of the net. We might have won, but Oh My God we should have won by a cricket score. The boys in yellow and black weren’t going to be so lucky when they came to the Baba Yara stadium though.

This was my Porcupine Warriors at their very best. Every time we came forward we looked like scoring, and most the time, did. It was a complete performance, with us absolutely shredding the South African side before the referee whistled and brought them mercy. This was a gem of a effort from them, a real Ruby.

After we’d made it half a dozen goals by half time, I was starting to Predict a Riot within the away fans. Whilst I bet they’d never felt this far away from home, the Chiefs did tighten up in the second half, pulling back a consolation and stopping us racking up any further embarrassment.

I’m not going to apologise for the number of terrible jokes in those last couple of paragraphs, even if you now say that Every Day I Love You Less and Less.

20231022224024_1.jpg
20231105163525_1.jpg
Now we come to the much bigger test against ES Tunis. They massively outclassed us during the Super Cup match, so they are absolutely a team I fear. Even if they have a fun little kid on their badge.

With the first match at home, the lads are keen to make the most of the opportunity and start the match brightly. Jordan Ayew makes the half time team talk much nicer with a delightful goal just before the break. It’s much more even after the orange slices though, with Tunis getting an equaliser that featured more than a slice of luck, taking two deflections before going in the net. And there it stays, with neither of finding enough quality to make a difference.

Understandably, my hopes for the away leg were not high. I honestly thought that we had blown our chance. It’s nice to be proved wrong sometimes though.

Throughout the season, we’ve been synonymous with short, intricate passing and using the full width of the pitch to pry the opponent apart. With this in mind, it’s quite funny that the thing that finally puts Tunis away not once, but twice, was an old-fashioned punt-and-run. Firstly Mrezigue and then Lamine pick the ball up deep and just hoof it up for Obeng to chase. He shrugs off the oncoming Tunisian centre backs and fires emphatically inside the near post. Sean Dyche would be proud.
20231105172914_2.jpg

20231105172759_1.jpg
20231105172850_1.jpg

I have no idea how Obeng has struggled so much throughout his career in Spain. I know this isn’t prime Barcelona we’re facing, but he’s shown more than enough quality over the year to easily make it at a higher level.

When we conceded a silly penalty just minutes later, history was proved once and for all to not be repeating. It seems that lady luck is shining on us to though as not only does Tunis’ taker hit the post, he doesn’t even try to get the rebound. Victory, and revenge, is ours!

So here it is, a perfect repeat of last year’s Confederation Cup final and yet another couple of matches against The Royal Club. After this we’ll have now played them six times within the last twelve months. Feel like I see them more than my family.

Zamalek aren’t the all-conquering force they were last year, as Ah-Ahly have risen back up to be prominent force in Egypt. The two sides remain very equal though, as their semi-final showed. A tough tie between the two that was only solved on away goals for The White Knights. Underestimating them would still be an enormous mistake, as Zamalek still have a wage budget eight times larger than ours. We might be spending a lot in Ghana, but that is nothing compared to the clubs in Cairo.
20231022224253_1.jpg

The difference showed in this first game. Whilst Mensah opened the scoring with a fantastic curling effort, it was the only chance we were able to make before

Zamalek eventually found a deserved equaliser just before half time.

Whilst the stats show that it was a scrappy game of few chances, if any chance was being created, it was by the team in white. After a couple of lucky escapes, the Cairo International Stadium was sent into raptures by a completely unmarked Hassan Ali launching a volley past Asare and giving them the lead.

As the final whistle was called, I was just thankful that we didn’t have more of a mountain to climb for the second leg.
With our captain goalkeeper and attacking midfielder out of the return leg due to international duty, my hopes of turning this tie around are scant. The last time I played Sekeye in a knockout game this year, we were promptly knocked out of the Ghanaian Cup. Sylla’s absence makes me shift tactic as well, back to the original form of the Christmas tree formation.


However, I’m rather taken aback when I see the Zamalek line-up. Two teenagers leading the line seems a little weird, which makes me take a look at their squad. We may be without two key players for this match, but Zamalek have been gutted, with half a dozen of their first team squad away with The Pharoahs. If there was ever a time to strike, then that time is now!

20231022224303_1.jpg
Immediately I can tell that this isn’t the same Zamalek team that was so threatening back in Cairo. From the kick off, we are dominant. This is turning into a match of us versus the Zamalek goalkeeper and despite his best efforts, we’re not to be denied for long. A lovely cross from Annan and Obeng leaps salmon like to beat the keeper and nod us into the lead on the night and draw the tie.

For a full hour then we pepper the Zamalek goal until what has now become our continental one-two punch. Mrezigue picks up the ball, picks out Obeng with a lovely lofted through ball and the big man slots his shot into the net. Naturally, the crowd, as well as myself, go wild. This is going better than I could have ever hoped for. The only thing that could make it better, is a third goal to make it all safe. We’re not waiting too long.

Once again, it’s that man Obeng who’s in exactly the right place at the right time to finish off a lovely flowing move and surely make the tie safe. Obeng has been a force in these clutch games and has properly cemented his spot in the side. He becomes the first player since 2001 to score a hat-trick in the final before then really sticking the boot in on Zamalek’s keeper and become the first ever to score four just before the final whistle.

And that’s it! I haven’t been able to contain myself on the touchline, cheering and cackling at the ridiculousness of this situation, but the final whistle brings out the biggest cheer of all. All the hard work on the training pitch, the scouting centre and the tactics room have been worth it. 44 years of hurt are finally over and that we could do this in front of our home fans makes it all the sweeter. ****, the win is so sweet that it might give me diabetes!
20231015224128_1.jpg

As our young star John Mensah prepares to lift the trophy, I can’t help but be incredibly proud of this group of lads. This is a squad that has written itself into Ghanaian football history, that has defied the odds and beaten the very best from the continent to claim the ultimate prize. Let’s try and do it all again next season.
20231016215304_1.jpg
 
Top