I found this on the Liverpool Daily Post the other day and thought it was quite funny with a lot of truth (ie myths) attached!
Team line-ups: Set out in 4-2-3-1 formation (it won’t change, regardless of opposition). Insert Lucas plus 10 others as announced.
First 15 minutes: Liverpool establish easy ‘control’.
20 Minutes: Reina rolls out ball to Agger. Liverpool string 25 passes. Agger returns ball to Reina.
20-35 minutes: Liverpool enjoying lion’s share of possession, but running out of ideas in last third (Note: if Torres playing, add in three goals).
40 minutes: (Insert name of average winger) skins Insua, hammers in low cross to forward drifting in unmarked at far post to score.
45 minutes: Lucas concedes needless foul. Resultant free-kick drops into wrong ‘zone’ and unmarked forward heads goalwards. Reina brings off astonishing save.
Half-time summary: Liverpool strangely lacklustre, need to step up the pace if going to record first away win since August/Christmas/Everton.
46-48 minutes: Period of blistering attacking play by Liverpool. Kuyt scuffs shot straight at keeper.
48-60 minutes: Game settles into familiar pattern. Fans ask Carragher to keep his voice down – people are trying to sleep.
60 minutes: Babel comes off/on, after/before ineffectual performance.
65 minutes: Opposition winger needs sleeves taking up after constant tugging by Insua. Returns to float in harmless cross that finds forward unmarked. Reina pulls off astonishing save.
70 minutes: Liverpool need something different up front. Benitez brings on Aurelio. Substitute board refuses to accept number 21 so Lucas stays on, Benayoun goes off.
88 minutes: Benitez brings on Pacheco. Aquilani off with suspected bruised cuticle.
90+ minutes: Liverpool finally click into gear, laying siege to the opposition goal. Gerrard hits woodwork five times. Opposition break away, three onto one; Reina pulls off astonishing save.
95 minutes: Final whistle goes. Liverpool players look dejected. Wave appreciation to the backs of hordes of Reds fans trooping out of the ground.
After-match comment from Benitez: “We had control, we had chances, they played on the counter-attack, we will still finish fourth.”
Team line-ups: Set out in 4-2-3-1 formation (it won’t change, regardless of opposition). Insert Lucas plus 10 others as announced.
First 15 minutes: Liverpool establish easy ‘control’.
20 Minutes: Reina rolls out ball to Agger. Liverpool string 25 passes. Agger returns ball to Reina.
20-35 minutes: Liverpool enjoying lion’s share of possession, but running out of ideas in last third (Note: if Torres playing, add in three goals).
40 minutes: (Insert name of average winger) skins Insua, hammers in low cross to forward drifting in unmarked at far post to score.
45 minutes: Lucas concedes needless foul. Resultant free-kick drops into wrong ‘zone’ and unmarked forward heads goalwards. Reina brings off astonishing save.
Half-time summary: Liverpool strangely lacklustre, need to step up the pace if going to record first away win since August/Christmas/Everton.
46-48 minutes: Period of blistering attacking play by Liverpool. Kuyt scuffs shot straight at keeper.
48-60 minutes: Game settles into familiar pattern. Fans ask Carragher to keep his voice down – people are trying to sleep.
60 minutes: Babel comes off/on, after/before ineffectual performance.
65 minutes: Opposition winger needs sleeves taking up after constant tugging by Insua. Returns to float in harmless cross that finds forward unmarked. Reina pulls off astonishing save.
70 minutes: Liverpool need something different up front. Benitez brings on Aurelio. Substitute board refuses to accept number 21 so Lucas stays on, Benayoun goes off.
88 minutes: Benitez brings on Pacheco. Aquilani off with suspected bruised cuticle.
90+ minutes: Liverpool finally click into gear, laying siege to the opposition goal. Gerrard hits woodwork five times. Opposition break away, three onto one; Reina pulls off astonishing save.
95 minutes: Final whistle goes. Liverpool players look dejected. Wave appreciation to the backs of hordes of Reds fans trooping out of the ground.
After-match comment from Benitez: “We had control, we had chances, they played on the counter-attack, we will still finish fourth.”
