It's a Grand Old Team to Support - An Everton FC story

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this is my first story so open to suggestions, im not all that great at computers so the layout might leave a little to the imagination, but i know how to take a screenshot so they'll be plenty of those...here goes...




Everton FC and David Moyes Part Company

After 10 years at the club David Moyes has finally decided to seek a new challenge, asserting that he had taken the club as far as he felt he could. Everyone connected to the club has been effusive in praise for their former Scottish Gaffer, and Moyes leaves Everton with a burgeoning reputation for consistently exceeding expectation. Chairman Bill Kenwright said "I remember when David walked through those doors, from the first moment I knew I was on to a winner, I mean the man is just a machine. He's taken this club from relegation survival to perennial contenders for Europe on a shoe-string budget, and deserves the thanks and admiration of all Evertonians. I wish him all the best for the future."

Everton FC appoint elusive Brazilian Don Guacamole as new Manager

Everton today announced they have hired former Brazil International Don Guacamole on a three year deal to be the new Everton manager. This is Don Guacamole's first managerial appointment in England having previously managed several South American teams, and there is much anticipation to see how he settles to life at Everton. Don Guacamole made this statement at a press conference earlier today,

"I am delighted and honoured to be the next manager of Everton Football club, I would like to thank the chairman and the board for giving me this opportunity. There is no other club in Europe I would rather be, Everton have always been close to my heart ever since watching a very special player named Alan Ball play for them after the 66 world cup."

Don Guacamole is widely respected amoung professionals in the game as an honest guy, if somewhat eccentric, as that press statement constitutes more than he's said to the press in several years, and it would not appear as if that is going to change any time soon.
 
Blues hoping for running start after "perfect" preseason

Perennial slow-starters, Everton FC, are hoping for a change in starts this season after a 100% record in pre-season has fueled optimism around Goodison Park. New manager Don Guacamole has wasted no time instilling a new system, a fluid 4-3-3 with 3 out and out strikers and a holding midfielder, and club insiders are already starting to say the Premier League is in for a shock on opening day.

Guacamole's only activity in the transfer market was to bring in fellow compatriot, Ze Roberto, on a free transfer, and despite his advancing years many have heralded this as somewhat of a coup for Everton. It remains to be seen whether Everton's pre-season form can be translated into a winning start in the Premier League, but with wins against Palermo and Sevilla in their last two games of pre-season, confidence is certainly sky high. View attachment 273614View attachment 273615
 
Don Guacamole enjoying extended honeymoon after un-beaten start

The feel good factor around Goodison Park is at an all-time high after Don Guacamole has guided his team to a winning start to the season. After ten games played Everton remain un-beaten with 1-1 draws away to Aston Villa and Fulham the only blemishes on an otherwise perfect start, the highlight of which undoubtedly being a 3-2 home victory over Manchester United. Much has been made of the fact that Steve Round has been attending all Everton press conferences, but as long as this winning start continues no Evertonian seems to care much as the media endlessly speculates on thin air.

Don Guacamole's new 4-3-3 seems to be working for now, with 8 wins out of 10 and 26 goals scored, few, if any, have any complaints.

View attachment 273617
 
okay, i'll leave it at that for tonite, if its still here in the morning i'll finish season one. goodnite.
 
Back to Reality - The Honeymoon is over

Everton FC suffered defeat today for the first time this season in Don Guacamole's first taste of a Merseyside Derby. The burly Everton manager cut a dramatic figure throughout, and seemed only to communicate through icy stares and fierce growls. In a game that was as close as the 2-1 scoreline suggested, the renewed optimism surrounding Goodison Park was not enough to carry their side to victory. Steve Round said after the match "We were always in the game, we never looked like we were going to get overwhelmed, and at times I thought we passed them off the park."

Indeed, Everton have been drawing much praise in recent weeks for their attractive passing game, and the team seems to be settling into the system. Credit must go to Don Guacamole for promoting this new attitude to the Toffees, and fans and pundits alike are starting to jump on the "joga bonito" bandwagon.View attachment 273660
 
Everton through to League Cup Semi Final After Dramatic win

Everton progressed in the League Cup after winning in extra time 5-4 against Manchester City at the Etihad Stadium. Jack Rodwell scored the winner in the 118th with an absolute screamer from well outside the City penalty area. Rodwell has scored a number of efforts from distance this season, and recently declared himself delighted with how the club is performing, "The Gaffer's had me working pretty hard on my shooting in training and it seems to be paying off, I'm delighted to be able to help the team with a few extra goals, but credit has to go to everyone at the club because we're playing really well at the minute."


A Season of Good Cheer for Everton FC

For the first time in, well, a long time, Everton find themselves sitting pretty at the top of the table at Christmas. Many an Evertonian will be full of festive cheer this year as chants of "we're going to win the league" earlier in the year now don't seem too far wide of the mark. It remains to be seen whether Don Guacamole's men can keep this form up coming into the back end of the season, but there doesn't seem to be many reasons why not. Denis Straqualursi in particular has been cause for optimism as he is currently scoring at a ratio of a goal a game, and Guacamole seems to have found a working midfield partnership of Fellaini, Rodwell, and Barkely that can last the best part of a decade, with many an Evertonian not to shy to compare them to the "Holy Trinity" of the late 60's. Add to that the very fine defensive work of Baines, Jagielka, and Tim Howard, and Everton certainly are looking a formidable force.

The biggest question on everybodies lips...can they stay injury free? Because if they can there is not much to suggest Everton won't be sitting at the top of the table at the end of the season as well.
 
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Everton FC are going to Wembley

Everton are through to the League Cup final after a 6-4 aggregate win over Stoke. Everton took a 3-0 lead from the first leg away at the Britannia Stadium, which was just as well as they lost the return home leg 3-4. Tim Cahil bagged a hatrick in the first leg after being utilized as central striker cover for Denis Straqualursi, and Everton's 2nd XI were enough to squeeze through the return leg. Guacamole took a risk fielding what many described as a weakened team, but despite many saying the Everton squad lacks depth, they pulled through and never looked like putting the tie in doubt. At a press conference after the match the now de facto Everton spokesperson Steve Round had this to say, "We do have a comparatively small squad but i don't think it lacks quality as players like Shane Duffy, Jose Baxter, and Velios showed today."
 
Everton win League Cup for first time in History

It took Extra Time, but Everton have finally secured their first League Cup in the club's history. Fans and pundits alike were quick to praise Don Guacamole for steering his team to victory with chairman Bill Kenwright jumping for joy at the final whistle, stating, "I knew he could do it! I knew it! What a great feeling!" then proceeded to bounce around hugging anybody and everybody in sight. In a rare TV interview Don Guacamole had this to say, "I am delighted to be able to bring silverware to this club, it is no less than the fans deserve, but I would like to take this opportunity to thank and praise David Moyes for all his hard work, because without him none of this would be possible."
 
Everton suffer rare defeats as title race hots up

Everton have found themselves in a neck and neck race for the title with Manchester City and Liverpool after slipping to defeats to Arsenal and Manchester City. Everton have managed to sustain their early season form and find themselves surprise contenders for the Premier League crown. Few pundits, if any, tipped Everton to be here at this stage of the season, but it will now be interesting to see how Guacamole picks up his boys in blue after 2 defeats in 3 games.

Sources from inside the club say there is no panic but that has not stopped the media from heralding the beginning of the end for Everton's dream season.

On a brighter note though, Everton are through to what will be their 2nd Wembley appearance of the season after a resounding 4-0 victory over Southampton at Goodison Park, with Victor Anichebe particularly impressing.



Everton through to FA Cup final after 1-0 win over Spurs

Everton scraped though this Wembley tie with a Leighton Baines penalty the difference between the two sides. After the match Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp had this to say, "I'm not Don Guacamole's biggest fan, put it that way." Redknapp didn't comment as to why this was this case and generally seemed far from pleased. This reporter for one thinks Harry might just have a case of sour grapes....
 
Everton do the Treble

I don't think anyone at the beginning of the season thought Everton were capable of winning the treble, but they have somehow pulled it off and walk away with every major trophy in the land. Everton won the FA cup with a 1-0 over Manchester United with an almost eerie similarity to the last time Everton won the FA Cup back in 1995, just replace Paul Rideout's name with Denis Straqualursi. Chairman Bill Kenwright, interviewed by TV stations across the globe after the match, had an ear to ear grin on his face and had only this to say "We're back!"

Then somewhat even more surprisingly Everton won the Premier League title on goal difference after a 4-0 home victory over Wigan was helped by Manchester City drawing their last game of the season. It came down to the wire with City in the driving seat, after Everton won 4 straight league games without conceding a goal, but in the end City slipped and Everton rose to be crowned Premier League champions

At a press conference after the game, Don Guacamole in only his second TV interview read the following statement, "I would hope that this season has brought some romance back to football and shown that money is not all conquering."
 
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when i get back tonite i'll do the end of season review with player stats, analysis and all that.

please dont be shy to give feedback or let me know your enjoying it, ive got 2 more seasons to get through before i can offer individual match reports and increased detail so thats why im doing the season in chunks.

personally i really think ive got Kenwright's personality down...lol
 
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