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Here's the database, face pack and some spare faces

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Following our club's dominance over FIFA Online Clubs, our next conquest would naturally be Football Manager itself. Seeing this opportunity I put out a rallying call to my colleagues to gather forces for our assault on the footballing world, the results of which shall be chronicled below.

Only eight brave warriors heeded the call for troops, so I had to draft in an unwilling inanimate object to bring our numbers to nine, more than enough for such a mission.


The first of these fearsome heroes is the confrontational yet media-friendly, black yet ginger Ronan 'BlingSingh' Pike-Burke. This volatile 6'1" genetic freak begins his quest with the terriers; Huddersfield Town, a key strategic position.



Next up we have the resilient and evasive Cal Sear, who was too lazy to leave his hometown and as such starts at Newcastle United. The only interesting thing about this combatant is his ability to grow a brown moustache despite otherwise having black hair.



Dunc Greenwood is so uncouth that despite being born in Newcastle he was refused citizenship and forced to seek asylum in Belgium, where he befriended the one and only Romelu Lukaku. On the eve of Greenwood's 16th birthday Lukaku obliterated all in his path as his guided the young Dunc to Devon, where he lay low and binged on cider until the summer when he joined Plymouth.



In Blackpool we have stationed the outcome of a freaky encounter between Emile Heskey and Shola Ameobi. As they both tried to perform stepovers on the same ball something incredible and indescribable happened which resulted in Emile William Ivanhoe Heskey Junior, who has been imbued with such power that he has been touted as the next Allie McNab!



Here we have a creature which defies all known races; another black ginger, Jake Miller. Miller has been drafted into the Peterborough Under 18s.



The first of two foreign based players, Jay 'Jao Pricey' Price was initially sent to Rochdale, but unimpressed at his innate inability to pass the ball they kindly told him to **** off, he's now at Ajax and has been labeled the next Gazza, which I can't tell whether is a good or a bad thing.



Joe Williams has also been stationed abroad, choosing to start his conquest con la Città di Palermo. Despite being a Milan fan he couldn't resist the lure of the Pink-Blacks.



The last of our human contingent is the quadruple-chinned Nathan Burbidge, who has already achieved a lot by managing to break Wenger's love of French prepubescent teens by earning a place amongst the Arsenal Under 18s.



The most aggressive of our group, despite being largely inanimate and serving a completely different purpose, Tie Rack needs no introduction.



Wish us luck on this epic journey through the footballing world championing our cause in the face of evil.

I will make the database and facepack available once I've done at least a few of seasons of this. I intend to keep this going for a good while, since I've made it so that most if not all of us will go into management, there will be no set times for updates, they will come when they come, but since I'm unemployed and most likely won't get so much as a look-in for a job before moving in July this should live a long, healthy life.
 
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the next Gazza and an Argentinian Tie Rack born in England who speaks English? looking forward to it XD
 
Here is part one of the 2010-11 update

Ronan Pike-Burke

BlingSingh's season started off wonderfully, with him tearing his hamstring in a pre-season friendly in July, ruling him out for 3 months. Once he recovered from this he spent a while continuing to do **** all, before breaking into the first team and making his competitive debut on 6th November in a 3-0 win against Workington in the FA Cup. The was the start of a good run in the Huddersfield team over the following two months which saw him make 9 appearances averaging 7.28, assisting 5 goals and earning 2 man of the match awards. However this didn't go unnoticed by the big boys, and after having a stormer on Boxing Day, getting 2 assists in a 3-0 win over Exeter, Ancelotti called out his potential, delighting the young ginger and alerting other clubs. Also one of his FMBE compatriots was at the club during this period.

In January Villa were first to make a move, offering £275k, which was rejected. However they came back offering up to £600, £525k of which was upfront, and were successful. BlingSingh has only featured for the reserve and U18 teams since arriving in the '**** city', as dubbed by Stephen Ireland. Come February BlingSingh started off his scoring for Villa U18s in style, scoring in three games in a row, alongside another FMBE member who also scored in those games. To date he has featured in 13 non-competitive Villa games, scoring 5 goals, creating 7 and earning 5 man of the matches.

BlingSingh is currently being tutored by Downing, but hopes to go out on loan next season to get more first team experience.



Cal Sear

Sear started the season languishing in the under 18s until Pardew in his almighty wisdom called him up to the first team for the final pre-season friendly against Partick Thistle on 17th August. His decision was vindicated as Sear scored 2 and was man of the match in a 5-1 victory, this led to Sear's first competitive game for the club 8 days later as they faced Watford in the League Cup, and Sear again impressed with a goal in a 3-1 win. Then Pardew re-enabled **** mode and demoted Sear back down to U18/reserves and was used as cover for the first team when needed. On 10th December Sear bagged his first international goals, scoring a brace in a 3-0 win over Estonia in a U19 Euro qualifier. Like BlingSingh, Sear also had a good Boxing Day, netting his first league goal to defeat Blackpool 2-1.

Over the season Sear played 31 non-competitive games, 3 as a sub, averaging 7.48 rating, scoring 18 goals, making another 3, earning 8 man of the match awards and collecting 3 yellow cards. He also made 7 competitive starts for the first team, plus a sub appearance, scoring 4 goals and getting 2 yellows. He also had the best shot conversion ratio of any Newcastle player, scoring 4 goals from 17 shots.

Sear is optimistic about his future at the club, despite still being on only £55 per week on a contract which expires in a year, having rejected 7 contract offers through the year due to disagreements over future wage rises and agent fees.



Dunc Greenwood

Greenwood kicked off his season in style, scoring his first Plymouth goal in a 2-0 win over Torquay on 25th July, and making his competitive debut for the club two weeks later against Wycombe in the League Cup, as they got beat 2-0. The following week he made his league debut in a 3-0 loss to Southampton, cementing his place in his team with his scoring prowess in the last two games... On the 5th September Greenwood scored his first international goals as he bagged a brace for Belgium U19s as they triumphed against Turkey 3-2, however three days later a team mate broke his jaw, possibly for texting said player's ex. Following 6 weeks of drinking food through a straw he scored his first competitive goal in a 3-0 win over Dag & Red, this signaled the start of a hot streak for Greenwood, so if you ever have a striker off form, break his jaw. On 13th November Dunc bagged his first ever hat-trick in a 5-1 demolition of Bournemouth, earning himself man of the match, during this month he also earned League One Young Player of the Month as things began to look good for Plymouth.

Lyon offered £900k to shatter these dreams, the club and Greenwood accepted, as it allowed him to be closer to his one true love, Lukaku (and to make £1800 per week), so come New Year's he ****** off to France where it's harder to gather stats from. However in May his love affair with Lukaku began to come good, as both he and Greenwood scored 3 goals each over 2 U19 Euro qualifiers. He still hasn't made an appearance for Lyon, and is hoping to go out on loan.



Emile William Ivanhoe Heskey Jr

This season hasn't been the most exciting domestically for Heskey Junior, his only first team appearance was as a 77th minute sub in a 1-2 loss to Fulham on 29th December. He has done well at the non-competitive levels however, playing 33 games, 2 as a sub, and scoring 22 goals. He has also assisted 4, earned 9 man of the matches and gained 6 yellows. However Heskey Jr's real success this season has come at international level, where he has scored goals than he has played games. He scored his first two international goals in a 3-1 friendly win over St Martin U20 in September. It wasn't until early January that he got his first competitive international goals, scoring 4 goals in 2 games over 3 days in the U20 North American 'World' Cup. He got his first hat-trick a month later in a 3-1 win over Honduras U20.

However it wasn't all good for Heskey, as he dislocated his jaw after being dared to eat a ball in training in April, ruling him out for 4 weeks as Blackpool finished bottom of the Premiership. Despite befriending Marlon Harewood and being promoted to the first team, Heskey is unsettled, possibly by new friend Guardiola, and considering his options.


Jake Miller

Jake Miller played an active part in the Peterborough pre-season, scoring on his debut in a 3-0 win over Newtown, and also scoring against Livingston and South Africa's Thanda Royal Zulu. He then made his competitive debut against Stockport in the League Cup on 10th August, winning 3-0 to progress through to the next round where they faced Everton in a televised match. The game started badly and Posh were 0-2 by half-time, Miller scored in the 65th minute and spurred his team on to a 3-2 victory over the Premier League giants. In October Miller gleefully signed a 3 year contract worth £85k, and in his celebrations he managed to strain his groin, ruling him out for 3 weeks. Following his return to training in December he managed to strain himself again, this time in his calf, most likely to avoid the congested Christmas fixtures so he could pig out in peace.

In January, after being knocked back initially in their pursuit of BlingSingh, Villa offered £475k for Miller, who had only made 5 competitive appearances by this point, all in cups. Peterborough rejected this offer, but again Villa upped their offer and were successful, paying up to £825k (£725k up front) for the young black ginger to complement their other freak of nature. As with his brethren, Miller has not made a competitive appearance for Villa, and also opened his non-competitive scoring over the same three games as BlingSingh, although he also added a brace to the fourth game. In total Miller has made 13 non-competitive appearances for Villa, scoring 8 goals, making 3 and earning 3 man of the match awards. However he has also picked up 5 yellows and a red.

On 5th May Miller again skived his way to the injury table by twisting his ankle in training, ruling him out for the rest of the season. He is being tutored by Ashley Young, but wants to go out on loan next season.



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(Information is limited for foreign leagues, despite loading them I can't see detailed match information for most matches)
 
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Lyon?! Lame. Just when I was starting to hit for for Argyle aswell.
 

However it wasn't all good for Heskey, as he dislocated his jaw after being dared to eat a ball in training

ROFL. LOVE IT!

Cant wait for the next update. Heskey Jr is going to be the worlds best!
 
FS, early transfer ftl. I wanted to take the Posh to glory.
 
Part two of two

Jao Pricey

Jao Pricey kicked off the season by signing an improved contract and one year extension, tying him to Ajax until 2013, allowing him to earn a whole £150 per week for his bench warming services. No one knows when he made his debut for Ajax, however we do know when he made his first competitive international appearance; 6th October. Jao happily abandoned England for Italy U19s to play against Lithiuania in a match which they won 6-0, Pricey uncharacteristically getting 3 assists in the rout. Since turning his back on England people no longer associate him with Gazza, instead he's been labeled the next Demetrio Albertini by his new pasta loving public.

Despite only being seen as a young prospect who can fill in for injured players Pricey managed to draw the attention of Manchester United, who put in a £4.3m bid as the close of the January transfer window loomed, but the offer was rejected and a better offer not put in. Pricey scored his first international goal in a 2-1 friendly win against Slovenia U21, and two weeks later made his Europa League debut as an 83rd minute sub as Ajax lost their quarter final first leg 2-0 to Fenerbahce. Jao also featured in the second leg a week later, this time starting, due to the injury which saw him utilised previously, he only played 57 minutes but managed to assist the only goal of the tie as Ajax crashed out of the tournament.

Pricey scored his first, and only goal for Ajax on the 1st of May in the last game of the season, where they earned a 2-2 draw with NEC Breda as Ajax clinched the title. Pricey made a total of 12 appearances for Ajax this season, 4 of which from the subs bench, assisting three goals in addition to his one scored goal.



Joe Williams

Joe Williams had a somewhat successful season at Palermo, managing to establish himself a regular place in the starting XI despite his youth, he started 31 games, came on a further 10 times as a sub, and averaged 6.66 rating overall. He also assisted 9 goals in a season which saw Palermo finish 4th, qualifying for the Champions' League. On 30th September Williams made his Europa League debut as a 55th minute sub in a 2-1 win over PAOK, the team he also had his first European start against in December, when he got an assist as Palermo triumphed 2-0. He made a total of 7 appearances in the Europa League, 4 from the bench.

Williams followed in Pricey's footsteps by choosing Italy over England, and made his competitive debut in a 3-0 win over Montenegro U19s, assisting one of the goals. In his time at Palermo Williams has already befriended Abel Hernández.



Nathan Burbidge

When Wenger found out that his latest child was both fat and English he was disgusted and shipped him out to Huddersfield on loan before he tainted his dainty French garçons. Huddersfield were more than happy to take Burbidge in, although this was at the expense of his archnemesis, BlingSingh, as Burbidge was immediately drafted into the team, making his debut on 7th August, as the black ginger looked on in despair. Burbidge earned his only man of the match award on 28th September for assisting the only goal in a 1-0 win against Notts County. Burbidge continued to frequent the starting XI until the 11 December when BlingSingh confronted his mortal enemy and broke his cheekbone, which resulted Bling's run of games in the first team.

Once BlingSingh was sold to Villa, Huddersfield decided to extend Burbidge's loan and he returned to the first team foray until the end of April, scoring his first and only competitive goal in his second last game before he returned to Arsenal to languish in the U18s under the tutelage of Van Persie.

During his time at Huddersfield Burbidge started 28 games, averaged 6.8, and made 6 assists.



Tie Rack

Tie Rack started off his time at his beloved Birmingham in the U18s and managed to strain his groin almost immediately, and then his thigh upon his return. He then collected 5 yellow cards in less than 2 months to earn himself a match ban from U18 football. In January he was shipped out to Lanús of Argentina for a £140k loan fee, making him possibly the most expensive tie rack of all time. He celebrated this move by earning a match ban almost immediately, before breaking his wrist after serving the suspension.

His time with Lanús has been distressing for the young Tie Rack, despite making 13 appearances, Argentina hasn't done El Corbatero any good as Lanús appear to be denying him food resulting in him shaving 69kg off his weight. He wants to leave the club and has, understandably, made no friends.

 
Firstly, playing for Birmigham...is that some kind of joke?! :p


And how the **** is my player 51kg, what's he been doing to himself lolololol
 
Punishment for not filling out a form :)

---------- Post added at 05:00 AM ---------- Previous post was yesterday at 09:18 PM ----------

2011/12 Season


Ronan Pike-Burke

BlingSingh began the season by being shipped down to Southampton on loan in return for £90k and the promise of first team football, which is exactly what he got, making 41 appearances for the Saints over the course of what was a good season. Bling's impressive form for the championship side earned him the young player of the month award for September, an award he also came second for in December. On boxing day he was rewarded with a new contract, keeping him with Villa until 2014 and compensating him with £3,600 per week.

On 9th May BlingSingh scored his first competitive international goal to round off a 5-0 win over Belarus U19s. Two weeks later it was glory again as he played in the play-off final as Southampton destroyed West Brom 4-1 to seal their return to the Premiership. In his 41 games for the Saints BlingSingh created 15 goals and averaged 7.24 match rating, and his form was rewarded with a spot in the Southampton Best XI of the season. Now back at Villa, Bling feels he has proved his worth and deserves a shot in the team, but find himself on the loan list.




Cal Sear

The 2011/2012 season wasn't the most exciting season Sear will experience, however it kicked off on a good note as he and the club finally agreed on a contract, tying him down until 2014 and netting him £1,200 a week. Following this Sear played solely in non-competitive fixtures until suffering a double hernia on Christmas Eve, ruling him out for over 7 weeks. In total Sear made only 11 non-competitive appearances this season, averaging 7.51 rating, scoring 6 goals, assisting another and earning 4 man of the match awards.

Despite his lack of playing time Sear is still optimistic about his future at the club of his dreams.




Dunc Greenwood

The new Emile Mpenza started off his season by returning to his adopted home nation in search of his soul mate, having been loaned out to Sportvereniging Zulte Waregem with the promise of first team football and £90,000 for Lyon. No one knows how well SV Zulte did this season, however it is known that Greenwood made 25 appearances for them with a 6.8 average rating, scoring 8 goals and assisting one too. In November he managed to bruise his head in training, although it is again unknown which head (Belgium is a mysterious place), but it put him out of action for 9 days. Dunc was offered a new contract in December which would keep him at Lyon until 2014 and earn him £4,100 per week, he accepted. Having watched on as his BFFs Romelu and Thorgan progressed through the youth ranks and earn their first international caps months ago, Greenwood finally got his chance on 2nd June. He started for Belgium against Czech Republic, but was subbed after 43 minutes, the friendly went on to be a 1-1 draw.




Emile William Ivanhoe Heskey Jr

Heskey's undeniable talent shown in his 13 minutes of first team football the previous season was clear for all to see, and understandably turned the heads of football's highest echelons, so it was no surprise when a team who would allow his unique blend of attempted flair and fumbling football to bloom came in with an offer for him so big that Blackpool could never turn them down. Paying only £2.7m, although that's a record for Blackpool, Real Madrid swooped for the young mini-Heskey in July and dumped him straight into Castilla where he became a regular up front alongside Sanogo. He has made 51 appearances for Castilla, scoring 17 goals and assisting another 8.

In August Heskey became the first FMBE member to earn a first team international cap, coming on as a sub against Aruba and scoring. Heskey also featured in the next Jamaica fixture, this time against Aruba, he started the game and scored the winner as the match finished 2-1. However he was then suspended from the squad until the summer for making a move on his new love, Theodore Whitmore.




Jake Miller

Unlike his fellow Villain BlingSingh, Miller did not go out on loan this season, instead he was kept in the reserves and under 18s, where he made 21 appearances, scored 6 goals, assisted 5, earned 3 man of the match and 5 yellow cards. Miller's services were twice required by the first team as he made his debut in a league cup third round fixture, as Villa drew 1-1 but went through on pens. He also played in the following round as they won 1-0 against Middlesbrough. Miller has also been making progress through the England youth set up, often being deployed alongside Sear up front.

Following this relatively boring season, things might just be about to get more interesting for Mr Miller, as Manchester United have just made an offer worth an initial £3.7m for him, however there has been, as yet, no agreement made.




Jao Pricey

Despite having made 2 appearances for Ajax so far this season, in August Pricey was loaned out to Real Sociedad to provide cover and earn Ajax £325,000, some of which Jao got to see as he was given a new contract worth £7,500 per week on Christmas Eve. Pricey scored his only goal for Sociedad on 20th November as they beat Xerez 2-0 in the league. In his time at Real Sociedad Pricey made 24 appearances, averaged 7.08, assisted 2 goals and got himself 3 yellow cards, as he helped them avoid relegation by a single point. His efforts were rewarded with another new contract, just 6 months after his last, giving him roughly an extra 50% wages and another year with Ajax.

Pricey has displayed a knack for learning new languages and despite only speaking English two years ago can now speak Dutch, Italian and Spanish too. On the international front, Jao has cemented the right midfield role for the Italian youth setup, alongside compatriot Williams who has made the right centre midfield slot his own.




Joe Williams

Williams began this season as he ended the last, playing regularly in the first team for Palermo, and playing in the Italian youth teams. November saw Williams score his first goal for both, scoring in a 6-0 win over Latvia, and 3-0 against Cagliari. However the following month saw him reject a new contract, stating that he wanted more money and a relegation clause in his contract, despite Palermo topping the table at this point. This improved contract failed to materialise and in February he left the soon to be champions of Italy for CSKA Moscow in a deal worth £8.5m. CSKA has no issues in satisfying Williams' **** for cash, giving him a 4 year contract worth £28k a week, £3000 per appearance and a 15% rise each year. He has to date made just 9 appearances for CSKA, assisting in 3 goals and earning an average rating of 6.89. In his half-season at Palermo he made 28 appearances, averaging 7.08 and made 8 goals.




Nathan Burbidge

In July Burbidge agreed the join both Bristol and Doncaster Rovers, showing a clear love for the word 'Rover'. In the end actually went to the inferior southern option, for whom he scored on his debut in the first game of the season, as they lost 1-3 to Leicester. Burbidge became an important first team fixture for Bristol, featuring in 40 games in his time there, scoring 3 goals, assisting 13, earning 4 man of the match awards and averaging 7.11 rating. Such fine form did not go unnoticed and he was given a new contract worth £1000 per week. He was also named in the Bristol Rovers Best XI. He has fell in love with the club and wants to go out on loan again next season.




Tie Rack

Tie Rack, Tie Rack, Tie Rack... In August El Corbatero rejected a loan move to Quilmes, and then accepted the chance to go to Racing Club on loan, earning man city £140,000, with a view to making the deal permanent for another £2.3m. Tie Rack celebrated this by earning 2 yellow cards in his first 6 days back in Argentina, earning him a match ban, this taught him a valuable lesson; don't get yellow cards. So instead he racked up 7 red cards in his other 22 appearances for the club, during which he averaged only 5.99, but did score and assist a goal. Tie Rack has instructed his agent to find him a more suitable club.



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2012/13 Season

Ronan Pike-Burke

BlingSingh yet again chose to escape from Birmingham ASAP, going to Hearts on loan for the season and a £250k fee compensating Villa. At Hearts he quickly established himself a place in centre midfield for the first team. As has become a trend for the FMBE fellowship, BlingSingh signed yet another improved contract towards the end of December, this time upping his pay to £12,250 a week, plus £3,500 per appearance, and keeping him at Villa until 2015. His first goal for Hearts came in a 1-4 loss to Hamilton in January. BlingSingh enjoyed his time at Hearts and now favours the club, who finished fourth in the league. However Ronan did get his first taste of success at Hearts, as he was an integral part of the team who won the Scottish Cup, beating Celtic 3-2 to do so. On the way to the final they also dispatched of Rangers 5-1, a game in which BlingSingh scored.

In total Bling made 42 appearances for Hearts, averaging a 7.3 match rating, scoring 5 goals and assisting in 13. This form earned him a place in the Hearts Best XI 2012/13.




Cal Sear

Sear started his season by rejecting an offer from Burnley, it is unknown whether this was for a transfer, and if so how much, or a loan. This season saw Sear begin to get a few good runs in the Newcastle first team, however his first success of the season came for his country in October as he scored a hat-trick in a 4-0 win over Montenegro U21. Four days later he took part, and scored, in a match with 4 more goals, an 8-0 win away to Norwich in the league which saw Greenwood's compatriot Ogunjimi score 4 goals, Cairney bag a brace, with Sear and Brunt completing the rout. December saw Sear sign a new contract worth £15,000 per week, plus £1,500 per appearance and goal, two days after scoring the only goal to beat Chelsea at Stamford Bridge.

In a season which saw Newcastle finished 15th, albeit still 20 points above the relegation zone, Sear made 29 appearances, scoring 12 goals and assisting another. This earned Sear a spot on the bench in the NUFC 2012/13 Best XI. He also played 10 England U21 games, and netted 8 in those.




Dunc Greenwood

This season Lyon opted to keep Greenwood at the club and use him as a rotation player. He scored his first goal for the club on 30th August, scoring the only goal against SC Wiener Neustadt in Europa League qualifying. Two weeks later he scored another milestone goal; his first for his country as Belgium beat Malta 3-2. However it wasn't until December that Greenwood got his first Ligue 1 goal, getting the winner in a 2-1 win against Sochaux. On Boxing Day Dunc bucked the trend of signing contract extensions by rejecting Lyon's offer, wanting a better pay rise after playing so many games. 2013 started off on a better note that 2012 ended however, as Greenwood was named on the bench for Belgium's 2012 Best XI.

Greenwood made 14 appearances for Lyon, who finished fourth and qualified for the Europa League again, scoring 7 goals, assisting another and earning an average rating of 7.1, making the Lyon Best XI bench. He has also fallen in love with fellow Lyon striker Lisandro Lopez and Belgium manager Georges Leekens.




Emile William Ivanhoe Heskey Jr

2012/13 saw Heskey Jr continue to play for Castilla, and as such his real successes for the season came playing for Jamaica, despite only playing two games for them. In his first, a 4-2 win over Canada, he scored 2 goals, and his second saw him score in a 2-0 win against Barbados. Six days later he was on the bench as Jamaica won the Caribbean Championship. Two weeks later he rejected a new contract from Real Madrid, feeling his skills deserved more money.

Heskey Jr made 52 appearances for Castilla this season, averaging a very respectable 7.4, having scored 19 goals and assisted another 17.





Jake Miller

While BlingSingh was shipped out of Villa, Miller was kept in Birmingham to keep the black ginger quota up. He started the season by signing a new contract worth £10,750 a week, plus £3000 per appearance, and keeping him tied down until 2016. In August Miller made his competitive debut for Villa, and scored, as they beat FK Metalurg 5-0 in a Europa League qualifying match. Otherwise 2012/13 was rather uneventful for Miller, until April when he suffered a lower back stress fracture in training, ruling him out for the rest of the season, in which Villa finished 14th.

In total he made 9 competitive appearances for Villa, scoring only 1 goal, but making 3 and earning 3 yellow cards. He also made 13 non-competitive appearances for Villa, faring slighlty better by scoring 4 and again assisting 3.





Jao Pricey

Jao Pricey spent 2012/13 on loan again, this time having three teams to choose from who all offered £675,000 for a year of his services. Jao chose not to go to Bolton nor AS Nancy, and instead chose Paris Saint-Germaine, whom, despite being thrown straight into the first team, he didn't score for until March, however that was against AC Milan in the Europa League second knock out round leg 2 and sealed a 4-2 win on aggregate. Jao helped Lyon to a third place finish in Ligue One (and Champions League football next season) by making 37 appearances, scoring 3 goals, assisting 5 and averaging 7.09 match rating. This saw him earn the right midfield spot in PSG's 2012/13 Best XI, and a new contract worth £22,000 per week, and £2,000 per goal or appearance.




Joe Williams

In efforts to protect their 'indispensable' player CSKA Moscow allowed only scraps of information to pass the Iron Curtain and make their way to make. All I know is that Williams has made 14 appearances in the previous season, averaged 7.46 rating, scored 4 goals and assisted 5. Joe needs to escape the Russian mafia and get himself back to Western Europe if he wants to get vaguely interesting updates.




Nathan Burbidge

Despite falling in love with the club he was at last season, Burbidge chose to betray them by joining their very local rivals as he went to Bristol City on loan for the season. He made his debut for Bristol City on 1st September in a 0-2 loss to Leeds. From hereon Burbidge became an important first team fixture for the team, and landed himself a new contract worth a whopping £1,900 per week, in December. Burbidge's only Bristol City goal came in February in a 2-2 draw with Preston. Burbidge's 37 appearances, 11 assists and singular goal helped Bristol City to an eleventh place finish in the Championship, and himself the left midfield spot in their Best XI for the season.




Tie Rack

Tie Rack, not getting the message that he isn't loved in Birmingham, was again shipped out to Argentina for the season, joining Banfield. He celebrated this in his traditional style by earning a match ban within 6 days, but this time embellished the celebrations by also gashing his leg to earn a two week lay-off. In Febuary he managed to suffer a hernia while training with Argentina U20s. The season saw Tie Rack accumulate 4 match bans from yellow cards, and another 3 suspensions from red cards. He also assisted 5 goals in his 25 games for Banfield, who finished 9th, but again wants to leave 'the club', which probably means Birmingham, where he only has a year left on his contract.



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Spam comment for Cal ;)

HESKEY JR FTW
 
Putting my name into PSG History whilst learning more and more languages ;)
 
2013/14 Season


Ronan Pike-Burke

Not the most exciting season for BlingSingh as he was confined to Villa's reserves for its entirity, allowing him to have just as much fun as Jake has had the last couple of seasons. He made 15 non-competitive appearances for Villa, scoring 2 goals, assisting 5, collecting a single yellow card and averaging a rating of 7.23.




Cal Sear

2013/14 was another disappointing domestic season for Sear, with Newcastle only finishing 16th and Pardew being sacked half-way through. However it was more successful on a personal level as Sear picked up the October Premiership Young Player of the Month, and claiming another 2 second places, and 3 third places. Despite this Sear only averaged 6.81 match rating for his 29 appearances, in which he scored 8 goals, assisted 2 and earned his first even red card, Tie Rack would be proud. This earned him a spot on the NUFC Best XI 13/14 bench.




Dunc Greenwood

Dunc started his season by twisting his ankle to earn himself a three week break. After his holiday he continued this season as he finished the last; a regular in the Belgium and Lyon line-ups, which come January saw him named on the bench for the Belgium Best XI 2013. In January he also managed to bag a hat-trick in a 4-1 win against Stade Brestois 29. His next notable match was the Coupe de Ligue final against PSG in which he scored, but still lost 2-3. In May, however, this was made up for as Lyon beat PSG to the Ligue 1 title. Greenwood took part in 30 games, scoring an impressive 20 goals, assisting another 3 and averaging 7.48, earning him a place in the Lyon 13/14 Best XI.

Greenwood then went on to become the only FMBE representative at the World Cup. Dunc's World Cup got off to a great start as he beat Lukaku to the sole striker position at the head of an ultra defensive 4-1-4-1, and in the first match he was instrumental in a 3-1 win over South Korea as he scored a towering far post header from a corner, and later assisted a goal by having his cross hit a defender and go in. He also started the next two games, however Belgium lost 0-1 to both France and Peru, with Dunc earning a yellow for a challenge on Sagna.




Emile William Ivanhoe Heskey Jr

Heskey Jr's season was similar to his previous two, namely a lot of appearances and goals for Castilla. However in October his team-mates learned of his antics at Blackpool and dared him to try again at eating a ball. The ball won and ruled him out for 4 weeks. Despite this setback Heskey did manage to make some progress this season by making two sub appearances for Real Madrid, managing nothing of note whilst on the pitch. Heskey made 39 appearances for Castilla, scored 32 goals, assisted 6, earned 5 yellows and averaged 7.39. He also made 4 appearances for Jamaica, 2 from the bench, and scored 2 goals.



Jake Miller

2013/14 proved to be another season of frustration for Miller, as he found himself stuck yet again in the reserves for the vast majority of the season, his only competitive appearance being in a 1-0 win over Southend in the League Cup. Miller made 18 appearances for Villa reserves, scoring 14 goals and assisting another, he averaged 7.28. In June he refused to sign a new contract after demanding more money and a more important squad role.




Jao Pricey

Following on from his mini-tour of Europe, Jao got his chance at Ajax again this season, and he seized the chance to become a first team regular. His 13 goals, 9 assists and 7.51 average aided Ajax on their way to second in the Eredivisie. He was also named the new Italy U21 captain, which pleased fellow fake Italian Williams. In June he sealed a new 5 year contract worth £25,000 a week and £4,000 per appearance and goal.




Joe Williams

Heeding my advice in the previous post, Joe Williams made his escape from Moscow in August, moving to Tottenham in a deal which cost his saviours £14,250,000. As if saving him from Russia wasn't enough they also gave him a 5 year contract worth £36,000 a week and £3,500 per appearance. However this proved to be a good bit of business by Rafa Benitez as Williams has been a consistent performed for the club, which had two failed takeover attempts by Javier Zanetti. Williams' form earned him a place in all but two Young Player of the Month podia, as he won 4 times, came second 3 times and third once. He made his debut in 2-1 win over Newcastle three days after signing, and scored his first goal for Tottenham in March in a 3-0 win over Chelsea.

Williams played in 37 games, scored a single goal, assisted 6 and averaged 7.19 as Tottenham finished 8th in the league, and earned himself the AMC spot (despite playing DM/MC) in their 13/14 Best XI.




Nathan Burbidge

Still not worthy of a place at Arsenal, Burbidge was borrowed by West Brom for the season and made his debut in a 1-4 loss to Burnley. Nathan became a first team regular for the Championship outfit, and scored his first goal two weeks after arriving in a 3-0 win over Derby. On Boxing Day he signed a new contract worth £3,500 per week, plus £1,500 per appearance, tying him to Arsenal until 2016. Burbidge had a good season at West Brom, who despite starting the season terribly found themselves challenging at the right end of the table come the close of the season, with Burbidge himself scoring the goal that won them the Championship as they beat Wigan 1-0 to edge out Middlesbrough by a single point. Burbidge's 45 appearances, 10 goals, 7 assists and 6.84 average earned him an AMC spot in the WBA 13/14 Best XI.




Tie Rack

This season Birmingham chose to keep their Argentine Arsehole in the country, where he only made 4 non-competitive appearances for them in the final season of his contract. Come December, for some reason, Birmingham offered him a new contract, to which he responded by getting a hernia. In January pre-contract offers came in from three illustrious clubs; FC Midtyjylland, Odense Boldklub and Union sportive Boulogne Côte d'Opale. Faced with such a tough decision Tie Rack panicked and picked the French Ligue 2 outfit (USBCO) over the two Danish options.



Tables
Premiership
Championship
Eredivisie
Ligue 1

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Here's the database, face pack and some spare faces

View attachment 147100
 
Sigh more misery for my black-ginger.
 
Getting quite a few goals there Heskey Jr :wub:

You have to remember though that footballs dont fit in your mouth!
 
Woo for me winning the league and scoring 20 goals.. and going to the world cup! :D
 
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