WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 21ST 2012
"Good Morning Sports Fans" broke the latest managerial casualty at Stamford Bridge! Permanent Interim 1st Team Coach Roberto di Matteo was relieved of his managerial duties barely 6 months after the greatest night in Chelsea's history!
In an unusual show of patience, Abramovich had waited until qualification to the Champions League knock out stages had been secured.
However, with the European Champions languishing in 12th place in the league and with several senior players publicly voicing their discontent at the underachievement in the league, the latest manager in the revolving door at Chelsea was sent packing with a handsome severance package.
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Emergency Board Meeting
This commenced at 10am as the Blues were in the middle of a busy fixture schedule.
Abramovich, Buck, Gourlay and Emenlano were seen entering through the Millennium Entrance of the West Stand and promised an announcement shortly.
Chelsea were still in the Capital One Cup and with the FIFA World Club Championship due in less than a month a new Manager was a priority.
Abramovich looked tired. He had been calling New York all night desperately trying to convince Pep Guardiola to cut short his years sabbatical. Despite promises of a huge contract and budget for players, the normally persuasive Russian had been knocked back.
"What about Rafa Benitez?" asked Gourlay in a stunning show of ignorance. "He is available, knows the league and could rejuvenate Torres".
"The fans are ****** off already" replied Emenlano. "If we hire Benitez they will never forgive us. He said he would never manage us and slagged off the fans and our plastic flags remember?"
"We need a popular signing" retorted Buck. "What about Zola, he is doing well at Watford"
"He is not big enough, literally" replied Emenlano. "What we need is a real presence, an icon, dare I say a legend. I have an idea...he is already in the country, he loves hanging round the training ground and is still in touch with all the senior players. I reckon by lunchtime we could announce him as our new Manager. I suggest we hire Didier Drogba!!!"