England vs Ghana drinking game!
What you need:
1 TV (or more)
Some friends (I understand this may be a problem for some of us – Joel’ – but you can cope I’m sure)
A fuckton of alcohol.
Rules:
Simple, really. Just follow the chart below.
Chart:
Take ONE shot if:
Gareth Barry loses the ball
Gareth Barry is outpaced by someone
Gary Cahill tries an ambitious 40 yard pass out of defence
Asamoah Gyan does a dance
Andy Carroll flicks it on to nobody
Glen Johnson makes a horrific mistake
The commentators get the two Mensahs mixed up
The commentators refer to James Milner as “versatile”
The commentators refer to Andy Carroll as “towering”
The commentators say that Ashley Young/Jack Wilshere/Leighton Baines has been in fine form for their club this season
Adrian Chiles pronounces a name incorrectly
Jack Wilshere gets his own segment on the buildup
There is a reference to the missing England players
There is a reference to the captaincy
Fabio Capello has no reaction when England score
Ashley Young blazes a freekick miles over the bar
Sulley Muntari has a strop
You see a Sunderland fan with a Ghanaian and English flag
Take TWO shots if:
Gareth Barry is outpaced by a defender
Gareth Barry tries an ambitious 30 yard effort and misses completely
Gary Cahill and Phil Jagielka accidentally tackle each other
Andy Carroll gets in a fight
Andy Carroll is referred to as “a beast”
The commentators refer to James Milner as a “workhorse”
The commentators attempt a ‘hilarious’ (racist) pun with one of the Ghana players names
Ghana do a synchronised group dance to celebrate a goal
Sulley Muntari has a fight with a teammate
Take THREE shots if:
Gareth Barry gets outpaced by a goalkeeper/the ref
Gareth Barry tries an ambitious 30 yard effort and it goes in
The commentators say that Gareth Barry has been in fine form this season
England do a synchronised group dance to celebrate a goal
Andy Carroll gets in a fight... with himself
The camera pans to a dejected Rio Ferdinand in the crowd
Jack Wilshere is suggested as England captain
Ashley Young demands to play in the centre
Sulley Muntari gets sent off/refuses to play
Down the bottle if:
England and Ghana have a danceoff
Asamoah Gyan handballs it on the line to prevent England winning
Gareth Barry gets subbed off (hey, you gotta celebrate these things)
An England player inevitably gets injured
England play with a 4-4-2 (have to numb the pain somehow)