Are you using Steam to run the game? If not, I suggest you do as the updates are automatic on steam and it worls fine.
As for graphics etc, have look under the threads for graphics on this site. Thi is one of, if not the best site Ive come across and Sean is doing a fantastic job here. All you need to do is find ywhat you want, ie, yuo want to get player faces for the EPL. There maybe a pack just for EPL, more commonly you'll find a superpack, which will contain player faces, ad boards for the matches, club logos etc.
Most threads will tell you download and install instructions but in my experience its been a simple case of downloading it to your folders. Any downloads for graphics should go to
C: (Your User Name)/ Documents and Settings/Sports Interactive/Football Manager 2009/Graphics
Most of the time especially for newer users this folder does not exist. If this is the case just create it.
Other downloads are treated in the same way, except the final destination folder you download them to. Tactics will go into tactics, training into schedules etc.........
Be aware though, some downloads are compressed, most commonly in .rar file type. Just download WINRAR free and unzip them.
Happy Gaming.....