In The Hands of the FM Gods - A Holiday Story

[Klippybo]

(i picked the lion pic cos of Bilbao's nickname lol)

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PICTURE THE SCENE................

It is 530am and as I get up to get ready for work I nip to the toilet and take a seat. I pick up a "toilet reading" book - Football Manager Ruined My Life - and upon reading the section of someone going on holiday for 10 years and writing a humorous ditty I decided that I should do one here.

As I am quite busy at the moment to fully commit to FM and my Bilbao story (which is still my main focus by the way) I thought it would be quite easy to start unemployed and go on holiday in 5 or 6 month periods. For instance if I am watching Newcastle on TV I will sim it or if I am on the XBOX playing NHL 14. As it goes on I will post major managerial changes, player moves, competition winners and anything else that I think is worth mentioning.

Of course it will also be a useful way to see how players can turn out. Just ask if you want to see a screenie. If your favourite team is doing well and you fancy taking over just let me know and I will upload the save. Whatever tickles your fancy really.

This isnt really a serious story obviously (it aint really a story at all I suppose lol) but hopefully we will get to at least 2050!!!!

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I have loaded up the following leagues as playable......

England - League 2 and above
France - Ligue 2 and above
Germany - 2nd Division and above
Italy - Serie B and above
Scotland - Premiership
Spain - Liga Adelante and above

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I will hopefully post the first update (simmed to December 2013) tonight.


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[Klippybo]

JUNE - DECEMBER 2013

ENGLAND

Well well well. So far the biggest story in England is all about Wales as Swansea sit proudly at the top of the Premiership but with a player called Bony being their top scorer they were bound to elbow their way to the top (sorry).

Meanwhile Cardiff City lie in 6th place and are looking set to challenge for a European slot with that other major force in English football, Norwich City, who lie in 5th place.

Life after Fergie has not been easy for Man Utd and David Moyes was swiftly sacked. He was replaced by AVB who was sacked by Spurs for wanting the Man Utd job but Spurs are just above the relegation slots anyway so he would have been sacked anyway methinks. Ranieri left Monaco to join Spurs.

Down at the bottom Sunderland, Crystal Palace and West Ham are in danger of being cast adrift.

Finally Crawley Town sacked their manager and appointed Jens Lehmann.

Here is screenies of league table and transfers.

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SPAIN

The 2 Madrid clubs lead the way here but it is Atletico Madrid who are 4pts clear. Barca are 10pts behind but have 3 games in hand so maybe the comeback is on.

There have been a few managerial changes. Struggling Real Sociedad appointed Juande Ramos and **** Advocaat has rolled into charge of Espanyol.

Cant mention Spain without mentioning Bilbao - they lie in the top half and are challenging for a European spot. They sold Ibai Gomez though the numpties.

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GERMANY

There has been trouble in Munich as Bayern are slightly off the pace in the title race. They pulled off the biggest transfer when they signed Davide Santon for ?10m but even he couldnt save Guardiola from getting the sack. Antonio Conte has taken over.

Borussia Dortmund are leading the way with their rivals Schalke lying in 2nd place 4pts behind.

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ITALY

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Juve have won the league already pretty much as they are 10pts clear even though they lost their manager mid season to Bayern Munich. His replacement? None other than Pep Guardiola lol

Rafa Benitez didnt last long at Napoli and was replaced by Luciano Spaletti but how Walter Mazzarri hasnt been sacked by Inter yet is beyond me as they are down in 14th place.

View attachment 453843View attachment 453842

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FRANCE

2 teams are battling for the title here. PSG and Rennes are leading the way and are 7pts clear of the chasing Monaco and errrrr AC Ajaccio.

Lyon have really struggled and sacked Remi Garde and replaced him with Ruud Gullit. Javier Aguirre replaced Ranieri at Monaco.

View attachment 453840View attachment 453839

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SCOTLAND

Dundee United lead the way up north and are 4pts clear of Celtic. Hearts are obviously bottom but would be 6th without their points deduction. They have an outside chance of survival.

Terry Butcher left ICT for Leicester and was replaced by Peter Houston. Eoin Jess took over at Motherwell while Gary Bollan took over at Ross County after Derek Adams joined Brighton.

View attachment 453838View attachment 453837

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EUROPEAN AFFAIRS

None of the big clubs exited the Champions League but Metalist Kharkiv managed to make it through the group stages. The tie of the knockout round sees Chelsea come up against Bayern Munich. When those 2 met in the Super Cup Chelsea won 3-1.

As for the World Cup qualifiers, well, they were just stupid. Northern Ireland are on their way to Brazil after finishing 2nd in their group and beating Sweden in the play-offs. Spain wont be there either after Holland thumped them in the playoffs while Iceland knocked out Denmark.


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[MaximumPower]

Spain aren't going to the World Cup!? My money is on N. Ireland to win then

 

[MatthewElphinstone]

I think your game is on crack!!! Swansea 1st! Dundee United 1st! madness!!!!

 

[Klippybo]

JANUARY - MAY 2013

(I should point out that I missed a load of messages so I will now just holiday 1 month at a time)

ENGLAND

The January transfer window was so boring. The only one that I thought was notable was Giovinco joining Newcastle for ?8m. Oh and Markel Etxeberria leaving Bilbao to join Arsenal lol

And the Champions are............... Manchester City!!!! They finished 6pts clear of neighbours Man Utd who had a magnificent 2nd half of the season under AVB. Liverpool finished 3rd while Swansea managed to nick the last Champions League spot.

Arsenal were the biggest underachievers as they finished in 8th place while the relegated sides were West Ham, Crystal Palace and Sunderland (who were deducted 9pts).

Another shed load of managerial changes. Redknapp is Newcastle manager, Hiddink is at Southampton while Lee Clark is at West Ham. Martin O'Neill replaced Martin Jol at Fulham while the most bizarre change see's Roy Keane leave St.Mirren to join Sunderland for the new season.

Reading, Wigan and Blackburn will be in the Premiership next season while Paolo Di Canio worked his managerial magic again and got Burnley relegated.

In the cups Man City toppled Derby in the League Cup while Man Utd defeated Arsenal in the FA Cup.

View attachment 453806

Player of the Year - Juan Mata (Chelsea)
Young Player of the Year - Christian Eriksen (Spurs)
Manager of the Year - Manuel Pellegrini (Man City)
Top Goalscorer - Andreas Cornelius (Cardiff City)

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SPAIN

It was tight at the top in Spain but Real Madrid emerged victorious pipping Barca by 1pt and neighbours Atletico Madrid by 3. As in England it was a surprise package that clinched the final Champions League spot in the shape of Getafe while Athletic Bilbao just missed out in Europe.

Relegated were Real Sociedad, Rayo Vallecano and Real Betis. In the 2nd division a former Newcastle superstar is top scorer - the mighty Xisco!!! lol

View attachment 453805

Player of the Year - Lionel Messi (Barcelona)
Manager of the Year - Luis Garcia (Getafe)
Top Goalscorer - Diego Costa (Atletico Madrid)

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GERMANY

Can Antonio Conte claim 2 league medal winners in one season? He all but setup Juve for the title before jumping ship to Munich and he duly led Bayern to the title too, just pipping Dortmund by 2pts. Munich also won the German Cup too so he is just being greedy really.

Bayern also made the biggest January transfer by snapping up Nainggolan for ?8.5m.

View attachment 453804

Player of the Year - Toni Kroos (Bayern Munich)
Manager of the Year - Christian Streich (Freiburg)
Top Goalscorer - Mario Mandzukic (Bayern Munich)

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ITALY

14pts was the difference between champions Juventus and runners-up Fiorentina. It really was all too easy for the old lady as they beat Fiorentina to win the double also. AC Milan and Roma rounded off the top 4 while Inter Milan made a decent comeback after changing their manager.

View attachment 453803

Player of the Year - Carlos Tevez (Juventus)
Manager of the Year - Vincenzo Montella (Fiorentina)
Top Goalscorer - Mario Balotelli (AC Milan)

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FRANCE

PSG comfortably won the league by 7pts over Monaco. Methinks it will just be a battle between those 2 for a while yet. Rennes and Ajaccio (managed by Ravanelli) kept up their good form though and completed the top 4 while Nantes, Reims and Valenciennes got relegated.

Monaco did manage to win the French Cup after defeating Bordeaux while Lille defeated Sochaux to take the League Cup - nice to see the trophies getting shared around!!!!

View attachment 453802

Player of the Year - Falcao (AS Monaco)
Young Player of the Year - Gregoire Puel (Nice)
Manager of the Year - Fabrizio Ravanelli (AC Ajaccio)
Top Goalscorer - Zlatan Ibrahimovic (PSG)

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SCOTLAND

Could Dundee United hold on to top spot? No of course they couldnt as Celtic stormed to win the title by 11pts. Hearts points deduction was too much and they got relegated while Dundee got promoted at the first time of asking back to the Premiership.

The only managerial changes saw Roy Keane join St.Mirren only to leave for Sunderland as mentioned above and he was replaced by Nicky Barmby.

Celtic won the League Cup by defeating St.Johnstone but they missed out on the treble as Inverness Caley once again knocked them out but this time they saved it for the final.

View attachment 453796

Player of the Year - Derk Boerrigter (Celtic)
Young Player of the Year - Danny Wilson (Hearts)
Manager of the Year - Jackie McNamara (Dundee Utd)
Top Goalscorer - Paul Heffernan (Hibernian)

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CONTINENTAL AFFAIRS

Manchester United are the new Champions of Europe as Dortmund failed at the final hurdle yet again as Man Utd won the game 2-1 thanks to a late Miralem Pjanic goal. So thats 2nd place, the FA Cup and the Champions League for AVB - David Moyes must be sick!!!!

AC Milan won the Europa League after defeating Dinamo Kiev 2-0 in the final.

I forgot to mention in the first post that Messi won all the world individual titles.

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WORLD CUP POST NEXT AND PRE-SEASON MOVES


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[MatthewElphinstone]

Aberdeen 8th??? PISH!

 

[Klippybo]

2014 WORLD CUP

THE GROUP STAGES

Group A provided the first shock as hosts Brazil were eliminated as they lost to the Ivory Coast and drew with the group winners Switzerland. Germany, France, Argentina and Italy all easily qualified as did England from Group H which seen Iran finish 2nd thus eliminating Holland.

Northern Ireland were put in a group with Belgium, Peru and South Korea and they topped the group with a 100% record which only Germany and Colombia could equal. Quite incredible really!!!!

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2ND ROUND AND QUARTER FINALS

Germany, Belgium and Argentina won comfortably unsurprisingly while Colombia pulled off a big shock by thumping Italy 3-0. England edged past Turkey on penalties while France and Switzerland also made it through.

And so on to Northern Ireland who faced Portugal and Cristiano Ronaldo who put them in front. However the Ulstermen equalised through Billy McKay and won it in extra-time thanks to a Chris Brunt goal. CRAZY BISCUITS!!!!

In the quarter finals Belgium edged out Switzerland 1-0 while Argentina beat Colombia 2-1 in the battle of the 2 remaining South American nations. France and England drew one all and it was the French who won the game on penalties.

That leaves Northern Ireland and Germany. Alas it was a game too far for Northern Ireland as Germany won 2-0 and only allowed Northern Ireland 1 attempt at goal.

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SEMI FINALS AND 3RD PLACE PLAY-OFF

Belgium completely outplayed Argentina in the first semi but undeservedly lost 1-0 thanks to a Marcos Rojo goal in the second half.

In the other semi France surged into an early 2-0 lead but inexplicably had Evra and Toulalan sent-off in a crazy 3 minute spell which was to prove costly as Germany came back to score 4 second half goals to reach the final with Marco Reus grabbing 2 of them.

France recovered to take 3rd place though and once again Belgium dominated but lost. Goals from Loic Remy and Adil Rami gave the French a 2-0 victory.

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FINAL

Argentina 1 (Tevez 50)
Germany 0

Serie A player of the year Carlos Tevez was the hero here as Argentina picked up their 3rd World Cup. This was the 3rd meeting between these 2 nations in a World Cup final and Argentina have won 2 of them now.

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AWARDS

Best Player - Thomas Muller (Bayern Munich and Germany)
Best Young Player - Chris Lester (Bolton Wanderers and Northern Ireland)
Best Goalkeeper - Sergio Romero (Sampdoria and Argentina)
Golden Boot - Falcao (AS Monaco and Colombia)


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[silverke]

Really nice to read!

Something different but interesting!

I'm guessing the Norhtern Ireland manager and players would be carried trough the streets for days after that one..

Keep it going!

 

[Klippybo]

PRE-SEASON

Its pretty much a transfer update really...........

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ENGLAND

Firstly there is a new era at the Emirates as Arsene Wenger stepped down as manager of Arsenal and was replaced by Michael Laudrup who in turn was replaced by Owen Coyle.

It was Arsenal who spent the most money on a single transfer as they shelled out ?21m for Salomon Rondon. The next biggest transfer was the ?21m that Liverpool spent on Xherdan Shaqiri. Chelsea spent nearly ?40m with the biggest deal being a ?18.25m transfer of Kevin Mirallas - they sold ?57m worth of players.

Man City shelled out ?19.75m for Aaron Ramsey, while Man Utd got Victor Valdes, Pablo Armero (?12.5m), Andre Ayew (?6.5m) and Jordy Clasie (?16.5m). However all those deals pale into significance after they spent ?16,000 on Steve Harper lol

Newcastle captured Loic Remy permanently and brought in Aiden McGeady while Norwich spent over ?8m on Imanol Agirretxe for some reason. Spurs biggest deal was the ?14m signing of Fabio Borini.

Finally my manager who is permanently on holiday got offered the job at League 1 Brentford and would have been given a whopping budget of ?8.75m!!! Paul Jewell ended up being the manager.

Manchester United beat rivals City 2-1 to win the Community Shield.

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SPAIN

WHAT THE **** IS ERNESTO VALVERDE DOING??????? He is an idiot as he sold Iker Muniain to Barcelona for ?15.5m and a half decent regen also to Barcelona for ?4.9m. He did bring Ibai Gomez back to the club though.

The biggest incoming transfer was for Eduardo Salvio as he joined Real Madrid for ?16m. They ended up spending nearly ?60m as Cuadrado, Mallo and Otamendi also joined. Barcelona also spent nearly ?50m on a few regens, Gabriel Barbosa, ter-Stegen and Alberto.

Sevilla loaned Fernando Torres, Atletico Madrid spent ?10m on Muslera while Mallorca signed no less than 4 Real Betis players with the most notable being Alvaro Vadillo.

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GERMANY

Kyriakos Papadopoulos was the biggest deal regarding a player staying in Germany as he joined Bayern for ?18.5m. Lewandowski (on a free), Juan Jesus, Benteke, Dragovic and Luuk de Jong were amongst the other transfers as they spent a total of ?70m.

Dortmund spent ?35m with the biggest deals being for Sakai and Sigurdsson while Bayer Leverkusen signed Romelu Lukaku for ?17.5m.

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ITALY

In Italy it was more about players leaving the country than the ones coming in with Jan Vertonghen joining Napoli being the biggest deal at ?16.5m.

AC Milan were the biggest spenders as they spent ?56m on players such as Inigo Martinez, Consigli, Illarramendi and errr Brian Ruiz lol. Juventus spent over ?40m with the biggest deal being for Carlos Vela but the biggest name being Franck Ribery.

Stewart Downing arrived into Catania while Kolo Toure joined Chievo.

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FRANCE

PSG and Monaco just spent money like it was going out of fashion!!!!!! PSG spent ?124m on the likes of Azpilicueta, Moses, Coentrao, Maicon, Umitti, Marchisio and Florenzi while Monaco spent ?100m on the European Golden Boot winner Mandzukic, Marc Bartra, Alex Sandro, Garay, De Sciglio and Begovic.

Yoann Gouffran joined Evian on loan, Oscar Cardozo joined Sochaux, Lille brought in Corchia and Jordan Ayew, N'Zogbia joined Brest on loan, Marseille spent ?30m on **** while AC Ajaccio bought David Ngog.

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SCOTLAND

As expected the transfers in Scotland werent exactly earth shattering. Kieran Trippier, Cedric Mongonguand Matthew Briggs joined Celtic for a total of ?6.8m.

Dundee United spent nearly a million on McHattie and McKay of Hearts and John Fleck of Coventry while St.Mirren also nearly spent ?1m on new recruits.

The biggest departure saw Amido Balde leave Celtic for Sporting Lisbon (?4.4m) while Graeme Shinnie and Andrew Robertson also left the country. Pretty boring really.

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FINALLY

After the World Cup no international manager got sacked (must be a bug) so I decided I would add managers for a day to get rid of the under performing ones at the World Cup. As a result Portugal, Brazil, Italy, Holland and Uruguay all changed coaches.

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