Looney Toons: A Newcastle story.

[henkizh]

View attachment 475073

BREAKING NEWS: Alan Pardew resigns!



Alan Pardew has resigned from his managerial duties at Newcastle United. Rumours are circulating that he wants to spend more time with his family, but no official statement is yet to be made from Pardew himself or Newcastle United.



SKYSPORTS EXCLUSIVE: NEW NEWCASTLE UNITED MANAGER ANNOUNCED

Very shortly after Alan Pardew's resignation, a new manager has been announced. His name is Jimmy Fallcroft, which comes as a suprise to many, but Newcastle have come out in public and said that Jimmy is a family friend of Pardew, and has had an inoffical role as the assistant manager to the reserve team.

Skysports very own Veronica Jones had a brief chat with Jimmy before he entered his taxi at Heathrow Airport.

Veronica: "How do you feel about the manager job? Are you nervous about being under huge expectations from the fans?

Jimmy: "I wouldn't consider myself that nervous, Alan and I have a good relationship and he taught me alot about managing and being under pressure. I consider myself very lucky and honored to be appointed as the new manager, I will try and achieve good results and hopefully a good place in the league."

Veronica: Have you got any signings in mind for the season? Any specific area in the team you think might need some improvement?"

Jimmy: "I do have some signings in mind, but for now, you will have to wait and see."

Next post will include the first transfers, and also all of the pre-season games

 

[henkizh]

PRE-SEASON GAMES

View attachment 474858View attachment 474857View attachment 474856View attachment 474855View attachment 474845


All very good games except for the Villareal game, but I feel the squad made up for it with the 8-0 (!) thrashing of Bangor City, with Papiss Cissé getting 4 goals in the first half!
View attachment 474852
Skysports exclusive: Marco Fabián signs for Newcastle United.


With confirmation from new manager Fallcroft and Newcastle United, Skysports can announce that young talent Marco Fabián signs for Newcastle United on a 5 year deal, on a fee speculated to be 8.25 million €.

Fallcroft has agreed on a short interview with our reporter, Veronica Jones.

Veronica: Jimmy, you and the club have today confirmed that Marco Fabián has signed for your club. Are you excited?

Jimmy: Yes, me and the board are very excited and delighted that Marco has agreed to join our club.

Veronica: Marco is currently only 23 years old, and some say he lacks experience, how do you feel about the situation?

Jimmy: I have to say I disagree about that. Marco was one of the better players in the Mexican Olympic team which beat Brazil, and some very good performances in the Liga MX show that Marco is definitely ready to step up his game and play in the Barclays Premier League.

Veronica: You currently have Sylvain Marveaux and Jonas Gutierrez deployed in the same position, did you bring in Marco to add competition or are you looking to sell Sylvain or Jonas?

Jimmy: We will have to wait and see, but currently I feel Marco is better than both Sylvain and Jonas.

SKYSPORTS EXCLUSIVE: NEWCASTE OFFLOAD THREE PLAYERS.

Earlier this morning, we recieved information that Newcastle have sold on three players from their senior squad.

The players are:

Steven Taylor, gone to Arsenal for 7 million €.
Sylvain Marveaux, gone to Reading for 4.5 million €
Jonas Gutierrez, gone to Porto for 8 million €.

This proves that Fallcroft indeed believes in Fabián so much that he decides to offload Gutierrez and Marveaux! How this affects the fans and the club itself, we will have to wait and see!

Next post will include:

First BPL game!
2 new transfers!
The games from August, September and October!

Stay tuned.

 

[henkizh]

THE SEASON KICKS OFF

First game of the season is against West Ham away from home!

WEST HAM 1 (REID) - NEWCASTLE 0

Absolutely devastating game. The players didnt seem to gel together AT ALL, The Hammers dominated posession and shots and walk away as deserved winners after a second half goal by Winston Reid after a scramble inside the box.

Second game of the season next! We are facing Norwich at St James Park, hoping to come back from a devastating loss in the first game!

NEWCASTLE 2 (BEN ARFA 5, REMY 60) - NORWICH 1 (HOOLAHAN 58)


Something completely different from the first game, I gave them a motivating pre-game talk and they responded very well. After an early goal by Ben Arfa, we were in the driving seat, even though Hoolahan equalized I had a feeling we were gonna bring in 3 points.



Not long after the game though, an offer comes in for Yohan Cabaye from Manchester United, 26 million €! A big sum of money, but to me, Yohan is worth twice that. He is the heart and soul of the team. Yohan wants to have a word with me, and I was fearing the worst, he wants to leave.

Yohan: Hey boss, I saw that a bid came in from Manchester United, and I really want to win trophies and glory and I am seriously considering it.

Fallcroft: Yohan, you are crucial to this team and you know it. Do you want to play European football? I promise you, I will try my very hardest to achieve that.

Yohan: How soon do you think European football will happen?

Fallcroft: To be completely honest, I don't think it will happen this season. Next season I feel is a realistic target to push for the top places in the league and achieve European glory.

Yohan: Okay boss, I will take your word for it. I do feel that I deserve a bigger contract, since you did mention that I am crucial for the team.

Fallcroft: Absolutely. We will negotiate it right away.

SKYSPORTS EXCLUSIVE: CABAYE SIGNS CONTRACT EXTENSION.

Skysports can now reveal that Yohan Cabaye has signed a 1 year extension to his contract. Manchester United offered 25 million € for the talented french playmaker, but seems like Cabaye is staying after all.

Skysports sources understand that new manager Jimmy Fallcroft has promised Cabaye European football, and Cabaye will leave the club if Newcastle haven't qualified for the Europa League or Champions league by the end of next season, but for now, Newcastle will reject every offer that comes in for the player.

Later on the same day, PSG launch a 15 million bid for Hatem Ben Arfa! Again, a big sum of money, but to be honest, I wouldn't sell him for that, no way. Same story as with Cabaye, Ben Arfa wants to have a word with me in my office.

Ben Arfa: Look, as you and I know, a bid from PSG came in, and I am considering moving there, I want to return to France and achieve European glory.

Fallcroft: Hatem, I can assure you, we will try our very hardest to achieve european glory in the coming seasons.

Ben Arfa: How soon boss? I feel like my career and potential is wasted here if we dont achieve something in Europe soon.

Fallcroft: To be honest, this season is way too early. But next season, we will play our hearts out to try and qualify for Europe. I will strengthen the team aswell.

Ben Arfa: Okay, I take your word that we have achieved Europe by the end of next season, otherwise, I'm gonna look for a club that does.


First cup game of the season!

We face Blackburn Rovers at home in the Capital One Cup, and obviously hope to achieve glory in the Capital One Cup aswell.

NEWCASTLE 0 - BLACKBURN 1 (Best 48)

We played very well, but in the end, Blackburn wanted it more, and Leon Best won the game for Blackburn after a header from a corner. We hit the bar numerous times, but to be honest, Blackburn deserved to win the game. Props to them and good luck in their future games.





SKYSPORTS EXCLUSIVE: NEWCASTLE SEAL TWO DEADLINE DEALS!

New manager Fallcroft has brought in two new faces for the Newcastle United squad during the transfer deadline day!

View attachment 474750

First signing is Michel Morganella. The very talented swiss Right Back was bought to provide depth and competition for Mathieu Debuchy. He was signed for 3 million € from recently relegated Serie B side Palermo. Morganella recently got into a lot of heat when he insulted South Korea after Switzerland's loss to South Korea in the Olympics and got kicked out for it.

Fallcroft says he has talked with Morganella personally, and Michel assured him that something similar will never happen again.

View attachment 474738

Second signing is James McCarthy. He was signed from recently relegated Wigan Athletic for a sum of 6.75 million €. Fallcroft adds that Newcastle were not the only club in the chase for McCarthy, but McCarthy himself adds that he chose Newcastle because of the new manager's ambitions and guaranteed playing time. Other clubs in the mix for McCarthy were Arsenal, Liverpool and Southampton.




Third BPL game coming up! Away game against Southampton. Hoping to retrieve ourself since the loss to Blackburn in the Capital One Cup.

SOUTHAMPTON 0 - NEWCASTLE 2 (REMY 51, BEN ARFA 63)

Brilliant performance from the lads! An away win is just what we need after crashing out of the cup.


Second game of the month coming up, we are facing Cardiff at St James Park. Fans are expecting a win, and so am I.

NEWCASTLE 3 (COLOCCINI 3,38 CISSÉ 62) - CARDIFF 0

Another fantastic display as we keep a clean sheet for the 2nd game in a row. Two great corners taken by Cabaye met the head of Coloccini as he scored in the 3rd and 38th minute to pretty much kill the game off then and there. Cardiff were no match for us, and Papiss Cissé puts the final nail in the coffin with a longshot goal from just outside the box after a great pass by Ben Arfa.


Our first real challenge coming up, as we face the title holders Manchester City at home.

NEWCASTLE 1 (BEN ARFA 23) - MANCHESTER CITY 2 (NEGREDO 10, 44)



Good game by the lads, but Alvaro Negredo showed his class by scoring two great headers and David Silva assisting both of them. Ben Arfa scored from a nice solo effort, but in the end, it proved to be too little as City win 2-1, a deserved win by Pellegrini and his boys.


Final game of a hectic month coming up, against Spurs at White Hart Lane. A really tough game, hoping the lads thrive under the pressure though.
TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR 2 (BALE 21, SOLDADO 42) - NEWCASTLE 0

I have nothing else to say but disgraceful. We played awful, and new signing Marco Fabián picked up an injury in the 3rd minute. Bale showed his class today as he scored from a brilliant longshot and got the penalty that Soldado scored from. I hope we never play as badly as this ever again.

New month, new chances? Hoping for that atleast, with the first game of the month coming up against Liverpool at Anfield.

LIVERPOOL 3 (SUAREZ 10, PEPE 14, ALLEN 78) - NEWCASTLE 2 (REMY 45, CISSE 63)


Very good performance and unlucky to not pick up a point away from home. Liverpool score two quick goals by Suarez and Pepe respectively, one being an incredible freekick by Pepe, but we respond with two goals by Remy straight from kickoff and Cissé with a header in the 63rd, but Liverpool clearly wanted 3 points from the game and Allen scored with a nice longshot from just outside the box to make it the final score, 3-2. Despite the result, we had one of our better performances of the season.

Second game of the month coming up against Hull City at home. Really hoping for a win here, and so are the fans.

NEWCASTLE 2 (CISSE 23, WILLIAMSON 86) - HULL 0

Another great performance by the boys, this time coming up with a win aswell. We struck early on, Davide Santon had a great effort from 30 yards and hit the bar, but Cissé was there to tuck the rebound away in the 23rd minute. Hull looked very weak in this game, and Williamson, who took the place of injured Coloccini, put the nail in the coffin after a fantastic header in the 86th minute.


Final game of the month up next, facing Chelsea at home! Hoping to pull out a draw, that would be a good result.

NEWCASTLE 3 (CISSE 35, BEN ARFA 42, GOUFFRAN 74) - CHELSEA 1 (BA 20)

I feared the worst as Ba put a header in from 5 yards in the 20th minute, but the team got even more motivated, and Cissé and Ben Arfa managed to score two great goals before halftime, and Gouffran put the nail in the coffin in the 74th minute by slotting it under Cech after a scramble inside the box after a corner. Absolutely magnicificent result! I would have never expected to score 3 goals against Chelsea, let alone win the game! Very proud of the lads.


That was all of the games for this update, next update will be the November games! Stay tuned!

 

[henkizh]

Anyone reading this? If there is no interest I will stop this story