Rochdale Town: Nowhere Men

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MBoothman

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An overview:
Rochdale Town are an amateur football club based in Castleton, Rochdale, plying their modest trade in the North West Counties Division One, (known for sponsorship reasons as the Vodkat League). The NWCD1 is at level ten of the English football pyramid, ie nine promotions away from the Premier League.

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They play at the Mayfield Sports Centre, which holds 1640 spectators, (they have been told). However, the average attendance for a competitive match is a paltry 150. They are minnows of football, forgotten men, full-time plumbers with part-time passions. They are, in short, hopeless. My aim (as my alter-ego Kylie Minogue) is to propel this rag-bag bunch of wanderers into promotions, professionalism, and in the end, Premier League football. God knows how long this might take, but I'm willing to keep going until either FM11 comes out or I die of frustration.

Ultimate aims:
- Premier League football.
- Champions League football.
- >50,000 seater stadium.

Pre-cursors to the Ultimate aims:
- Professionalism
- To become the most-watched side in Rochdale (Rochdale AFC have crowds ~2,500).
- Multiple promotions !

You join this story in its second season; I'm sorry I didn't include the first season, but I didn't realise I was going to try to create this scenario at first.

To cut a long story short, Rochdale Town, under the tutelage of unknown female manager Kylie Minogue, romped home with the North West Counties Division One title, a full sixteen points clear of nearest rivals Atherton Collieries in a bizarrely low-scoring league where only one team (Rochdale Town) averaged over a goal a game.

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The key to the success was an influx of higher-league reserve players on amateur contracts, particularly from Conference side Barrow, and the acquisition of formidable veteran striker Julian Alsop. The latter helped set-up countless goals from long-balls and scored a few himself. Sadly, in the off-season, Alsop joined Didcot Town. I should not here that the player called Matt Boothman is a vanity player, but also that his skills are no more or less than the average for the league, and I would expect will become useless as Town rise through the leagues.

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Phil Morris was the epitome of the kind of player the first season's success was built upon.

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2010/11 then. The bookies have us down as third favourites, which is slightly baffling, but possibly this is due to the two major signings Rochdale Town made over the summer. Paul Dickov, ex-Leicester and Scotland goal poacher and Albano Correia, a big Portuguese lad have both joined on part-time contracts, following Town's conversion to semi-pro status. Most of the initial regen players with awful skills are gone, so now Kylie Minogue can say her team is truly 'her's'.

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Finances are okay, but the wage budget seems punitive. However, prudency is a virtue in lower league management; administration is a constant threat for any team.

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Due to the long-term nature of this story, I cannot promise proper monthly updates - bi-annual ones are more likely, or they may coincide with big events (a cup final, a league win).

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Peace out, cobbers!
 
Tuesday 12th October, and Kylie Minogue's Rochdale Town lie third in the North West Counties Premier Division, unbeaten so far, and with three games in hand.

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Stand-out performers of the first few months include centre-back Adam McKenzie, striker Albano Correia and defender Juan Martin Alujuel. Paul Dickov has also put in some solid performances, after a shaky start.

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Town's games in hand are largely due to their fantastic cup run, reaching the final qualifying round of the FA Cup, landing the comparitive giants of Worcestor City of the Blue Square North. One more win and Town will play in the First Round proper, an historic feat for such a small club.

The coming months are important for The Angels, as they attempt to juggle the commitments of cup and league football. I'll keep you posted.

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Town have been playing with a normal 4-4-2, with attacks focussed on the long-ball technique, with a rigid philosophy and not much creative freedom. Manager Minogue has described her tactics as "Wimbledon-esque", not that Correia and Dickov seem to mind. Ranks have also been bolstered by the loan signings of Tom Spalding, Tejal-Ross Thaker and Sam Finley, from Bradford Park Avenue, Altrincham and Southport respectively.

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how the **** did you get paul dickov lad, ANYWAY good luck mate hope you earn a few promotions
 
Out of contract at Leicester, I got him for nowt on an amateur contract after the end of the 09/10 season, since been changed to a £220pw part-time contract. Wants to see out his career at the club supposedly!
 
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