Alfa Romeo Metaphor III

Enrico Pucci

Nov 22, 2013
View attachment 231495Friday, 26 August 2016

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"Good morning, Aurelio," I said as I walked into my barbershop.

"Roma e Gloria, please have a seat," he said.

"So ... Sampdoria on Sunday," I said. "Life after Totti begins, eh?"

"Yes, The Eternal Captain is gone, long live the Captain," he replied. "And may you lose by five tomorrow. Now lean back, it's time for the towel."

"I think Michel might be one of the first managers to get sacked," I said as he draped the steaming hot towel on my face. "I hope we help make his life miserable and his stay in Napoli short."

"The Partenopei are always ****," he said. "It doesn't really matter who their manager is. De Laurentiis is an idiot."

"No, seriously, tell me how you really feel."

"You are so full of yourself," he said. "You probably even think you'll do well in Europe now that you have Kyriakos."

"You have the tougher group," I said. "Getafe and Union Berlin aren't pushovers and you better not stumble with Viktoria Plzen."

"Save me your advice," Aurelio said. "Let's lather you up. Club Brugge and PAOK Athens will be hard. That Turkish team though ..."


"Yes, that's them. Turkey is crazy. Your away game will be crazy. But back to Napoli. Giovinco is a joke. Jose Callejon and Duvan Zapata at forward. Please."

"I don't understand why they haven't purchased a top-class forward," I said. "I would insist. And you're right. Giovinco is not top class."

"But Napoli are sneaky, you know," he said. "I swear they or the Camorra pay off the refs for home games. Just look at all the favorable calls. Look."

"So you like Kyriakos, then?" I said. "You should be worried, you know. He and Abdennour are a nasty pair."

"They are ****," Aurelio said as he began shaving me. "But I bet you're pretty happy about that purchase."

Enrico Pucci

Nov 22, 2013
Serie A: Napoli v. Lazio

View attachment 231431Saturday, 27 August 2016

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Sao Paolo stadium was two-thirds full. The Lazio faithful who'd traveled to Napoli were packed into a corner of the stadium's upper deck surrounded by plexiglas and watched by police in full body armor. This isn't one of the friendliest places to visit.

Napoli pinned us in our end for the first 20 minutes. Younes Belhanda, Sebastian Giovinco and Jose Callejon all wasted great opportunities.

View attachment 231429Their opening goal came from missed call in the 21st minute. Jorginho played a ball out to Callejon who slipped inside and past Riccardo Fiamozzi. Then he dodged back outside of Fiamozzi and while my new right back was still befuddled slipped a pass into the space for an offside Giovinco. Giovinco tapped the ball in then looked at the linesman to see if he'd raised his flag.


He didn't.

I screamed at the ref. I harangued the fourth official. They'd blown it (and I think they knew it) and weren't about to reverse the call.

We responded fairly well. We took the ball into the Napoli and were probing for openings. Then Gokhan Inler intercepted a pass and started the counter. But Camillon Punzone came thundering through with a tackle. He knocked over Inler sending the ball toward the sidelines. Layun picked up the ball and gave it back to Punzone. Punzone fed a pass up to Balde Keita who dribbled across the top of the box looking for either a pass or a shot.

Eventually he took the shot. Rafael managed to block the shot, but Antonio Candreva smashed the rebound past him.


I'm pretty sure that Candreva was offside when Keita shot. Michel was up off the bench screaming at the ref exactly as I had a few moments before. To no avail. We're all even up in more ways than one.

At the half hour mark, Napoli hit us on the counter and Giovinco slid a perfectly weighted pass that sent Callejon in alone on Ertrit Berisha. Berisha charged out and Callejon blazed high.

Phewh. Thank the Blessed Mother Mary for **** finishing.

Napoli came out storming after the break. They pinned us back and eventually scored. It was the manner in which they scored that really ****** me off.

On a corner, Nobody marked Inler. Parolo was supposed to, but wandered over to help Kyriakos mark Manuel Britos. Belhanda saw the opportunity and delivered the corner onto his forehead.


We'll be working on defending corners after everyone gets back from the international break, that's for sure.

In the 58th, Fiamozzi won the ball back in our right corner. He started the counter that swung across the field to the feet of Keita who raced past Christian Maggio and headed for the end line. He whipped in a cross to the back post for Candreva. Antonio caught the volley perfectly.


Since the ball had gone out, I replaced Vincenzo Rennella. He was having a poor match. Aside from pulling defenders away so that Keita could shoot leading to our goal, he hadn't done much useful. So I sent on Thorgen Hazard and moved Chuks Aneke up to forward. Hazard went to the right wing and Candreva moved inside behind Chuks.

We pressed and pressed and pressed. On several occasions Napoli were able to hold on to the ball for 5 minutes or so, but they never really threatened.

We just couldn't find a breakthrough. Either our final pass failed us or on the few opportunities we created, we blazed high or wide or both.

As the clock rolled past 90 minutes and the fourth official held up his board to signal 3 minutes of extra time, we won a throw well into the Napoli half. Layun threw in to Candreva who headed it right back to him.

He took a look up, looked down and lasered in smashed pass the skipped off the turf. I skipped past Candreva. It skipped just behind Keita. Chuks Aneke smashed it past the frozen Rafael. Britos was all over my Nigerian international, but Chuks is just way too strong.


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Enrico Pucci

Nov 22, 2013
View attachment 231287Sunday, 28 August 2016

To avoid the possibility of any harrassment from the Italian paparazzi, we were going to meet Gwen's parents in her Volvo SUV outside of baggage claim. Her Mum had a crisis come up at her work and moved their arrival date to today.

"Relax," I said. "Everything will be fine."

"Oh my sweet Italian-American bundle of unicorns, pixie dust and hope," she replied. "I haven't found us a new home or flat or villa yet and I really don't want to house hunt with my Mum."

"Have faith, the right place will appear just when it's supposed to."

"Before or after the baby comes?"

I shrugged as I sighed.

"Your Dad has a degree in architecture," I said. "It'll be great to have him around. He'll see stuff and ask questions we wouldn't even know to ask."

"You keep saying that. Fine. I'll relax. Gird your loins, there they are."

Enrico Pucci

Nov 22, 2013
View attachment 231102Sunday, 4 September 2016

"Oh my God! I want it out of me!" Gwen exclaimed once we all had climbed into her sky blue Volvo SUV.

"Antacid?" I said offering her one. "We're almost there. Any day now, the doctor said."

"I hate these shoes. Oh God my feet hurt," she complained. "One more place. I can do one more place."

"That's the attitude, love," her mother chimed in. "The next one might just be the one."

"Please for the love of God tell me it's close," Gwen said.

I started the engine.

Thankfully, it was. We followed our real estate agent a mere two kilometers. It was a modern-ish six story building with a security gate. Gwen approved of the look of the building. She approved of the modern lobby. She didn't roll her eyes when introduced to the building manager.

"Mmmmm, I like this," Gwen said as she waddled in to the fourth floor unit.

It had a nice view of the hills. Each floor had two units and a nice breeze blew through when she opened up the windows. The living room, dining room and kitchen were in an open floor plan. This open area was mostly all windows and on the north side of the building. It had three bedrooms: two bedrooms on the east side and a bedroom and laundry/utility room on the west. It had two bathrooms, one of which was attached to the master bedroom.

"I do believe we have a winner," my Mom remarked.

I pulled up a map on my mobile. Then I got directions to Formello. "Only 9 kilometers," I said. "Well?"

"Release the Kraken!" Gwen exclaimed raising up her arms as if to cast a spell or some such nonsense.

"Sweet Mary, Mother of God, I should never have let you watch Clash of the Titans last night," I said as my palm met my face.


Sep 8, 2014
justa started reading this thread but followed both of the past, they were great, and as a mexican follower it's exciting for me to see miguel layun playing for your team :)
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