Alpha Romeo Metaphor II

View attachment 250118Saturday, 13 February 2015

I concede the title to Juventus. Congrats to Max Allegri. You've got the best squad by a country mile and you deserve it. Frank Rijkaard may be a great manager, but he needs better players. The same goes for Cesare Prandelli at Inter. With the Rossoneri's draw and the Grand Old Lady's victory, Juve are up by 7 points. I can't envision any realistic scenario in which Milan can catch up in the 13 remaining matches.

This will be 5 scudettos in a row for Juve.

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Serie A: Lazio v. Bologna

View attachment 250112Sunday, 14 February 2015

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The weatherman said it would be overcast and cool today. He was wrong. It ****** on us the entire match. Stadio Olympico can be an intimidating fortress, but not when it's more than half empty. The Ultras packed the one end and the 3,000 Rossoblus were stuck in a corner of the upper deck on the opposite end.

Simone Pasa fouled Balde Keita in the box on Lazio's first venture into our territory. Biancocelesti captain Antonio Candreva buried the spot kick and it all went to **** from there. We let Candreva have all the time in the world inside the box and he fed an unmarked Keita who smacked a shot between Dejan Stojanovic's legs.

View attachment 250115I'd benched Andrea Russotto because he simply cannot convert any chances no matter how much time he has nor how wide open the net is. But I had to throw him on because Lazio's Nigerian international Ogyeni Onazi felled Gaël Kakuta with a knee-high, studs up tackle. I'm still baffled how Onazi stayed on the pitch after that mugging.

But then in the 73rd, Andrea collected a Casarini pass at the top of the box, spun his defender and smashed a shot off the underside of the bar to give us hope.

And we pressed for the equalizer. I had a horrid feeling that it was futile. Russotto squared across the box to Leonardo Guerra in the 87th. I held my breathe then groaned out an exhale as he shot at the keeper when he had half the net open and time. Two minutes later and Russotto beats his defender and was in alone on goal but Albanian international Etrit Berisha thwarted his chance and smothered the shot.

Lazio were way better and deserved the points but we need to convert our chances when we get them. Sigh.

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View attachment 250009On the train back to Bologna from Roma, my phone blared out Yellow Submarine which could only mean one thing: Esteban.

"Are you calling to cry on my shoulder or is the winning streak still going?" I said instead of greeting him. Bernardo and Alejandro Pintos turned their heads as they heard their native language.

"Murcia never had a chance," he replied. I could hear singing in the background. "We smacked them around and showed them who their Daddy was."

"Esteban, are you drunk?"

"I am drunk on glory and the probamility that we're going to be playing in Liga Adelante next season."

"Probamility?"

"What? What did I say?" Esteban slurred. "That may be the case. We are celebrating yet another victory. Everything is falling together and our opponents simply fall apart before our unstoppable offense."

"I am happy to hear it," I said. "And how is business?"

"S'good," he replied. "Our barber chairs are always with an *** in them lately. I quite pleased about that. Oh, and another thing. Your ex-girlfriend, I'm not sure if you still remember her as you are in the thrall of the lovely and intoxicating Gwen, but I've set Ana Maria up with a nice guy. You can stop worrying about her, Piko is an upstanding and handsome man. If you ever did worry about, you heartbreaker."

"That is also good to hear," I said. "She deserves someone good."

"I've got to go and drink more," Esteban said. "Ciao."

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Bologna v. Inter

View attachment 249134Saturday, 20 February 2016

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And it was all over before it ever really got going.

Dejan Stojanovic misjudged a cross from Gregory Van Der Weil and it was one-nil. And then Hernanes unleashed a laser-guided missile from a full 30 meters that bulged the net before Dejan really realized the ball was in flight. It seemed that he was screened. That and Hernanes barely drew his foot back before unloading.

Emblematic of our play, Alejandro Pintos chested the ball down into the path of Andrea Russotto in the 28th minute, but he shot tamely at Samir Handanovic. We spent the last fifteen minutes of the half in their end, but nobody could conjure a penetrating pass or any magic at all. And this is despite both Federico Casarini and Leonard Guerra on the pitch.

After halftime, Inter knew we'd move the ball around nicely but would be harmless so they sat back and let us monkey around in front of their parked bus. And this was even after replacing Pintos and Antonio Calabrese with Shawn Parker up top and Matthias Lepiller at left wing at halftime. My gamble of playing three of the kids did not pay off. Things are not going well in Rossoblu land.

Sigh.

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Sunday, 21 February 2016

Sorry, I'm really not keeping my **** together. Here's all the results from yesterday.

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It was really stupid. And I don't know why I had to say something. But for some idiotic reason I had to. I had to make a little comment about the curry Gwen had made me to eat while I watched the afternoon matches. One thing led to another and we're in a screaming match. So I watched the matches (I popped back and forth between several) in a gloomy silence.

Then I realized that it was all just the stress of the losing streak. I apologized and begged forgiveness and thanks be to the Saints, Mary Mother of God and the Holy Father himself, she forgave me. She snuggled up and I dozed off through the horridly dull borefest between Milan and Fiorentina. I woke up just before Robinho's goal. BTW, how the **** is Robinho still playing in Italy? Whatever.

The stress is really getting to me. We're still in 8th but Napoli, Fiorentina and Lazio are catching up fast.

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View attachment 249126Monday, 22 February 2016

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After training on Monday, I hopped in The Alfa and roared on over to Casalborsetti. It's a zoom down the A14 and a skip and hop up the coast from Ravenna. It's isolated and it's not particularly warm today. So I had the beach all to myself.

View attachment 249124I tossed rocks and driftwood into the surf and thought.

How much am I actually risking playing the kids?

Leonardo Guerra (Casarini's understudy) is definitely coming on strong, but Antonio Calabrese (left winger) definitely isn't. I'm still not solid on Modibo Tounkara though he does seem to have a knack for goal.

I'm still certain Alejandro Pintos will develop into a real threat. I just hope soon. He shows these flickers of his potential but then does something, and sometimes with the next breath, that reminds how far he has too come.

I wish I could keep Shawn Parker. He's going to reach 15 goals this season for us. But I'm not sure he's worth the EU10 million signing fee that Augsburg slapped on his loan agreement. Would I be able to sign him for less in the summer? Would he want to come back?

I'm getting worried about my central pairing of Dedryck Boyata and Bernardo. They are not on the same page so far in 2016. My future right back, Danielo Bernardini will be solid eventually as will central defender Davide Monteleone. I've loaned out Luca Callegari to Arezzo. He's playing which is important. Will he blossom next season as a back-up? I'm coming to the conclusion that my future left back, Simone Costalunga will not develop into my future left back. Next season will be crucial for him as Captain Archimede Morleo will be gone and he'll be the back-up.

My purchases defensively really depend upon how March and April go. If we're still a leaky sieve, I'll replace either Boyata or Bernardo.

Another factor I don't know yet is how big will my warchest be? Currently, we're projecting a balance near EU 50 million at the end of the season. If I had a transfer kitty of 30M, I could really splurge on an experienced forward and a talented young gun to play alongside Casarini in midfield. Also, I could buy some young talent for the academy.

I don't want to knock Antonio Vacca or Loris Damonte. They're solid, dependable guys. But if I could get a free kick specialist who could also be a real force in midfield, we could cause some damage.

I also contemplated my wingers. Gaël Kakuta was the real deal. Andrea Russotto should really be more dangerous than he seems to be. Now with that said, he's delivered 10 assists. I just pray to Saint Catherine and the Virgin Mary that he'd start scoring. Considering the chances he's getting, he could have scored 10 in 2016 alone. I feel for the guy. He realizes he's on the big stage and he realizes that 27 years old this is probably his big chance to prove himself.

I concluded that I'd have to have some long meetings with my scouts and started pulling together a list of players to go after for the summer transfer window.
 
Lippo255 said:
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Congrats Enrico, keep it up!
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Brendn said:
No one more deserving of this award than you mate :)
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Thank you very much. I'm also honored to place second behind xJamieWilliams in the Best Story category.

Congrats to all the winners. Congrats to Brendn for the Best Presentation, PatrickLFC (twice), CantgtenughofJelavic and coolmcool.

Thanks to everyone for making this site a really fun place to hang out.
 
Congrats on best writing mate, after reading the last few pages I realise this is definitely the best choice for the award, and feel foolish for voting otherwise! Slap me!

Congrats on 100k views too!

I will echo what someone else has said and give up your job and write on this full time, if only it was that simple! :p
 
I found Russotto in my game and he looks seriously good, particularly for a player who starts in Serie B or C. I tracked him for a little while but he picked up a 9 month injury so that was the end of that. Hopefully he starts finding the net for you more often though :)
 
PatrickLFC said:
I found Russotto in my game and he looks seriously good, particularly for a player who starts in Serie B or C. I tracked him for a little while but he picked up a 9 month injury so that was the end of that. Hopefully he starts finding the net for you more often though :)
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I know. He just hasn't quite put it all together. He's got legit quality. He's delivered loads of assists at least.
 
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Serie A: Torino v. Bologna

View attachment 248152Saturday, 27 February 2016

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Once again we're playing in front of a half full stadium. Conditions are blustery and cold. Clouds scuttle across the sky. It's almost March, but you can hardly tell the difference between today and any day in December or January.

We create two good chances inside the first ten minutes and I start getting hope that we can break out of our funk. Alejandro Pintos sets up Shawn Parker 2 minutes in, but Shawn smacks it centimeters wide of the far post. In the 10th, my keeper Dejan Stojanovic punts a ball upfield. Marco Alonso misjudges the flight of the ball, aided by the swirling gusts of wind, and Andrea Russotto finds himself 30 meters out from goal with nobody around him.

He jogs slowly goalward allowing the defenders to catch up. Andrea is light years faster than any of them, yet he just cannot seem to control the devilish round, brightly colored sphere at his feet. It's as if he'd never seen this type of spherical object before. Eventually, he feints and creates a millimeter of space in which to shoot, but dribbles a shot wide.

In the 26th minute, Archimede Morleo fouled Fabio Quagliarella just outside of the left top corner of our box. Everyone lined up for the free kick. Peruvian international Yordy Reyna lined up the free kick. Here's how you defend free kicks. You position yourself so that you can see both the man you are marking and the ball. Danilo Bernabini did this. He had Emiliano Moretti in front of him and could see the ball. Additionally, he had an arm around Moretti.

Suddenly, this mesmerizing, yellow sphere came floating over toward the back post where he was standing. He was so amazed at how this magical sphere spun through the air that he completely forgot about Moretti.

1-0

An easy tap in for the central defender.

Stefano Romanin and Alessio Frati will have a perfect teaching point for young Danilo on Sunday morning. Ball watching is the greatest sin a defender can commit in my book.

We created several good chances including Parker smashing a shot off the post and zipped across the goal line and behind the keeper before a Torino defender cleared it.

At half time, I told them they were just unlucky and to keep plugging away.

Shawn Parker looked really frustrated as the second half progressed. It was clear he and his teammates were not on the same page. At the 50th minute mark, he gave up and was only jogging into positions when normally he would sprint. I got Matthias Lepiller warming up. I was planning to move Pintos up top with Lepiller as the left winger.

Morleo let Reyna get past him in the 51st minute. Then Bernardo just watched as Quagliarella controlled the pass into the box and shoot.

2-0

WTF? You don't just stand there and watch when Quagliarella gets the ball in the box. The guy is fkn deadly.

"**** it," I grumbled to myself. "Monteleone starts next match instead of Bernardo. Can't get much worse."

The air went out of Parker when he realized the number up on the board was his. He dejectedly jogged off and gave a sad little clap in the direction of the traveling Rossoblus in the corner of Stadio Olympico before hiding inside a parka on the bench.

And then it got worse.

In the 61st, Quagliarella passed the ball to Angolan international Igor Vetokele just outside the top of the box. Vetokele had been anonymous for the first hour of the match. But Dedryck Boyata didn't close him down and the Angolan spun and shot. On another day, Dejan might have got to it, but not today. The grassburner shot slipped under his outstretched glove.

3-0

A few minutes later I yanked Federico Casarini and Loris Damonte off and replaced them with Leonardo Guerra and Michele Pazienza.

In the 73rd, Paz was unmarked at the near post and headed in a Lepiller corner.

3-1

How nice. Some consolation. Whatever.

The game was steadily grinding towards 90 minutes when Pintos crossed the half line with the ball at this feet. He looked around for options then chipped it out to the left for the onrushing Morleo. Pintos took off like a bullet train for the near post. And that's precisely where Morleo delivered the cross. My Uruguayan prodigy smashed a short hop volley past the frozen keeper.

3-2

But that's all there was. A decent enough comeback but where oh where was my defense when we needed them? We have much to work on before struggling Palermo visits next week.

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View attachment 247919Sunday, 28 February 2016 10AM

"I called this team meeting for one reason," I said once everyone settled down into their stalls in the Casteldelbole locker room. "I want to be sure that your head's don't drop, that nobody becomes disheartened because of our poor results."

"You've all stopped watching the TV news as well as reading the newspapers and blogs, right?" I asked rhetorically. "Remember that I've appointed Graziano the punishmuhr ... erm ... duty of reading and watching all that **** for you. Graziano, is there anything anyone should know from Italy's media?"

Graziano shook his head no. That got a few chuckles.

"Seriously, some of our results have been down to fluke goals, bad luck, bad refs and stuff like that," I said. "That **** is out of our control. Nothing we can do about those. The only thing we can control his how hard we work and our attitudes."

"Next Wednesday we fly down to Sicily to play Palermo," I continued. "They are currently in 17th spot. They are desperate for points. Their manager is going to tell them that we are ripe for the picking. He'll tell them that we've been leaking goals and can't score. He'll get them pumped up and thinking that they have a chance of getting points off us."

"However, we have a lot of quality in this line-up," I said. "Each and every one of you has the ability to change our fortunes. Whether it's by working hard defensively to make sure your man is rendered useless to picking the correct pass to working hard to make sure your teammates have passing options. Or by putting the ball in the back of their net. Every little detail matters."

"Contrary to the media narrative, we are not playing above our ability," I said. "You all are showing you deserve to be Serie A players. Last fall was no fluke -- it was by design. I have pulled a squad together that can hold it's own in Serie A."

"We all need to buckle down, train with more concentration and more dedication," I said. "We can show Palermo that in fact it is them who don't deserve to be in Serie A. Does anyone want to say anything."

"Yeah, I do, boss," Federico Casarini said as he stood up. "The boss is right. We all need to pick up our games individually and as a group. We can do this. We need to start at Palermo on Wednesday."

"Anyone else?" I asked. "No? Okay, get dressed. Let's get ready for Palermo."
 
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