An American Coach in Europe

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mkb152

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I tried this last year, but I got busy with work and stopped posting, but I had a fun 25 year save in Scotland and England. This year, I am going to take this story slow. Starting in Jan 2014; mainly so I can be surprised with who I start with.



Unemployed. In Europe. Only soccer skills are from what I learned in high school. My name:

Ted Lasso

View attachment 323052Ted has decided to see if he can find a semipro coaching job somewhere in Europe. His goal: The English Premier League by any means necessary. Obviously, these coaching skills will take some developing:

View attachment 323049
But Ted is determined. He will make it as a soccer coach. Because if he doesn't, his only fallback is teaching PE and coaching JV offensive lineman in South Carolina.

By request, the promo video from NBC which is the genesis of the idea:

[video=youtube_share;6KeG_i8CWE8]http://youtu.be/6KeG_i8CWE8[/video]
 
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Here are my current job options. None look realistic. Plus, that Chivas job is open every 4 months. Even I, Ted Lasso, know that. So, I'll probably be waiting for awhile.

View attachment 323045

(BTW, I have quite a few leagues loaded. I'll pair it down once employed, but my CPU is pretty fast)
 
Got a job

Ted received a phone call two days after his interview with Eastleigh. He was offered the equivalent of $60k/yr for the rest of the year in the Conference. His first thought is "This team must be desperate." Ted had done enough reading that he was expecting his first gig to be in a lower regional conference or maybe even the Belgian 3rd division. Upon learning they were 22nd in the conference but expecting mid-table, Ted figure he was doomed. But a job is a job, and he would use them to get his first coaching badges.


The team: Eastleigh.

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Here is my squad:
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Some key pieces:
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I named Constable my captain and Reid my vice-captain. I fired most of the staff, except I kept the assistant coach/player for depth at striker, and the Head of Youth Development mainly as I know I won't be able to find much better yet. The scout had DPA/DPP at 3/3! Getting some staff in will be a huge first goal. Also will be looking for free transfers and loans to fill out team as needed.

Here is upcoming fixture list:
View attachment 322817
 
Good luck Ted.

Were you on the offensive or defensive line in high school?

What did you make of the Soccer Super Bowl in Brazil? U.S.A were impressive. Perhaps you should think about being their Head Coach later in your career?
 
The first game

The second day of training he asked one of his newly signed coaches where the guys who are able to touch the ball with their hands were. He was only barely starting to understand this "English" English, but he was able to make out that every single GK on the team was injured. He signed one young prospect completely unscounted, and was able to pick up a GK to hold the spot on loan:
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When he found out that often you don't even have to pay loanees *anything* he went and found a striker/AMC as well:


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So Lasso filled out his staff with new coaches, a scout, and a physio and trained them on the first tactic he had read about and got them ready for their first game at Wrexham
The first game was *ridiculous*. Ted's 4-2-3-1 possession low tempo tactic was an absolute disaster:

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However, after switching to all out attack and basically launching the ball downfield, they managed to take the lead 4-3 before giving up an equalizer a few minutes from time.

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Lasso addressed his team:

"Y'all showed some heart and determination. It says something about you that you were able to ****** the lead from the jaws of defeat. But I think I need to remind you that we can't win if they score as much or more than us. The best defense is not always a good offense. Well they are **** lucky there is no overtime in this game, or my hard earned er 'pounds' would be on you. Don't drink too much and see you Monday. (funny comment in the back)

Why you snickering, Fitzsimmons? Do you want to go back to being the glorified waterboy for Bolton U-21's? I only loaned you since you have the same name as my favorite 2 characters on my favorite TV show. And one of those characters has suffered serious damage to his thinking ability like apparently you have! How about you allow less than 4 goals before you decide you're on Last Comic Standing!

OK, team, Eastleigh on 3"

(Over the weekend Lasso changes his tactics to a direct 4-4-2. Next update on midseason or if Lasso is canned.)
 
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This is brilliant, love the comment about the guys who are allowed to use their hands. I think you should post the video on your OP though, just in case someone doesn't get how genius this is
 
Maximus94 said:
Good luck Ted.

Were you on the offensive or defensive line in high school?

What did you make of the Soccer Super Bowl in Brazil? U.S.A were impressive. Perhaps you should think about being their Head Coach later in your career?
Click to expand...

Ted doesn't look like he was on the Oline or Dline, but apparently knows blocking schemes. Since Oline schemes are the most fluid part about American football, he hopes for a connection to the beautiful game.

He is also flattered to be mentioned anywhere near the USA coaching job, and he may consider it if asked. Ted learned coach-speak in the south.
 
They simply weren’t fighting. While he was only beginning to understand this game, Ted realized the flaws were mainly of determination. Giving up second chances, conceding late winners, equalizing only to lose,… the team was heartbreaking. Plus his fullbacks kept getting injured, his defense was a mess, and the board wasn’t happy. He wasn't feeling very positive about his upcoming surprise meeting with the board.

View attachment 320541
Why shouldn’t we fire you right now?

I still don’t even know the first team hands-guy’s name since he’s been in rehab since I got here. His replacement is a baby loanee from Bolton who is trying his best, but my sick, lame, and lazy brigade keeps growing.

You haven’t had more injuries than anyone else.

Listen, I just need more time. We’ve been really unlucky. Ball bounces the other way, we win half the close ones we’ve lost. We’ve had some good things going. Kashkett has been scoring his *** off. I’m really digging this loan thing. We just need to buckle down; we’ve taken a few cheap shots to the chin, but we’re still standing. I’m sure the boys will play better after Thanksgiving this week (awkward silence).

Wrong country…

I know. I also know the names of all four countries in this country. I’m not as dumb as I sound.

You’ve got to the end of the month. Remember, our goal is a respectable position.

I got it. Don’t worry, we’re not going to get regulated.

(confusion)

You know, regulated? Moved down to a lower league? I did learn something at NBC you know.

One month.
View attachment 320540

Ted called a team meeting.
“Allright, so the board thinks I’m an idiot. They think I suck. Which means, they think you suck. They think you are going to get regulated to the next lower division. Well, we’re not going to get regulated…”
Uh, boss… I think you me…
“Not now! You guys have been giving **** effort. It’s like you forgot how to be tough. I mean, yeah, it’s not the *toughest* game, but it can definitely be tougher than you are making it. I see people avoiding contact. I see people who seem afraid of the G-D ball! But not us! We are going to fight! (in his head speech goes something like below - note it's the clean version - you can find the real one on youtube, but I don't want to link it)

[video=youtube_share;2traDe9a_XE]http://youtu.be/2traDe9a_XE[/video]

(Preview: Over the next 6 games, Eastleigh goes 5-0-1. Will it be enough?)
 
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Eastleigh Fan News
LASSO SACKED BY BOARD OF DIRECTORS

View attachment 318667

A press release by the Eastleigh Board of Directors has confirmed the sacking of Ted Lasso, formerly of Tottenham. A source close to the decision stated that the team's low standing on the table was simply not up to par. Eastleigh were on a fair run of form, with 5 wins and a draw in their last 8 matches, but Eastleigh's constant placement in the relegation zone seems to have sealed Lasso's fate. "We are grateful for Ted's hard work, but in football ultimately results matter. We wish him well for the future."

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Lasso was talkative when we found him in the local pub having a brew. He even came off as less brash and more introspective: "Listen, there are two types of football coaches... ones who are fired, and ones who are going to get fired." Lasso went on, "I hold no grudges. The board was straight up with me with their expectations, and we didn't meet them. I think we were very unlucky in some respects, but we move on. I've learned a lot by this experience and am looking forward to the next challenge. Even Van Gaul at Man U got sacked!" Lasso also thanked the fans for their unwavering support, which possibly extended his stay at Silverlake Stadium.


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Here's the current job list: Lasso is not giving up

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Lasso finds new job in Conference South

Charlotte Observer 2/8/2015 (page 8) -

Ted Lasso, former head football coach of NC St. and former coach at the British Tottenham soccer team, has found a new job coaching at Havant & Waterlooville in the Vanarama Conference South in southern England. This is roughly equivalent to Rookie League minor league baseball in America. Ted was not available for comment before printing due to the time difference. Coach Lasso last managed at Eastleigh in the level above his new job before he was fired after a few short months. Speculation on coach Lasso's continuing sport change continues with most close to the situation maintaining that it stems from a 5 year show cause order from the NCAA due to recruiting violations and little interest from the NFL. In a press statement, Havant & Waterlooville maintain their expectation of a top half finish in league and feel coach Lasso can get them to that level.

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It was apparent pretty quickly that this squad was more up for their assigned task than Eastleigh. The team was over-budget and broke, but that budget was much higher than his previous club. After a few games it was apparent there was serious lack of depths in a few areas, so Ted used the loan program to find his best player in Monthe.

(next update at end of season over the team's summer break - assuming Lasso keeps the gig)
 
End of Season Conference South

Portsmouth news -

Ted Lasso the enigma has finished out the season at Havant & Waterloo. With the Hawks surging at the end of the season to finish 8th in the Conference South table, Lasso has surpassed expectations at the club so far. Lasso's tenure started out strong including a surprising away win at Boreham Wood, but the team showed many inconsistencies and gave away late goals similar to events that saw him sacked at Eastleigh earlier in the year.

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Lasso seems determined to continue at Havant & Waterloo for the time being, but he may find it difficult to attain his goals at the small club. Sources within the organization state that key midfielder Brian Stock's legs may be gone, and while the team's payroll is somewhat competitive for the division, Lasso will probably need to rely on loanees to stay competitive.

View attachment 316657
Additionally and surprisingly, Lasso still holds no coaching certificate, as the FA has given him an indefinite waiver. This is possibly due to the publicity he brings to the lower levels of the game. Lasso would not speak to the record, but it seems as if he is able and willing to attain his certificates, but currently the club are currently in no position to financially support his further coaching education.

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Member of the Havant & Waterloo board claim that they merely need to stay in a respectable position in the next year, but some fans and Lasso himself seem to be pulling for a promotion push. Lasso has been cagey with the media lately, and his brash Yankee persona seems to have dimmed. With only 3 years left on a strange "show-cause" penalty which is keeping him from the American gridiron, some wonder whether Lasso is truly committed to the long term to rise up through the soccer coaching ranks.
 
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A new season, a new beginning

Ted was committed to finishing a full season at a club to show his potential. Given his first preseason, he felt it necessary to get lots of preseason friendlies in to determine needed changes in his team, plus to try and get some much needed income.
View attachment 316107
Results were somewhat promising. Except for the requisite pastings given to them by Villa and Brighton, they played pretty well. Lasso came out of his media shell the week of the AFC Wimbledon game to personally goad John Green and the "Wembly Womblies" and was rewarded with a huge win. Afterwards, it was all shown to be in good fun as it was a pre-season friendly, after all. The team was in top shape and ready for the Conference South season.

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The team needed help at LB and LM, and it was on the top of Lasso's to do list. He felt he would overcome the limited expectations. But his goal was to make some noise this year. He wanted to increase his reputation. If possible, he wanted to start getting coaching badges. If his team could not afford it, he would bolt as soon as the season was over.

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I'm 4 seasons past this, just haven't had time to update recently. The legend of Ted Lasso will grow.

[video=youtube;iRqypM7jb5Y]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRqypM7jb5Y[/video]
 
Through December in Conference South

Lasso sipped a cold one after watching film. It was almost a connection to his previous life; American football coaches are obsessed with film. He found that other soccer coaches watched film too, but simply did not have the unhealthy love for it that he had. It was one thing he had going for him. But god, some of the film from stands in the Conference South was horrid. Vantage not high enough, unfocused… you literally had a better view of the field at most small high schools in North Carolina. But there was nothing to be done about it.
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The season was progressing well; much better than expected. Several good stretches resulted in him winning his first recognition as Lasso won Conference South head coach of the month for November. The only blip was an upset loss in the FA Cup 2nd​ qualifying round; a competition which Lasso had only begun to understand. Apparently there was an FA Trophy coming up too; he wasn’t sure what to make of it all.

View attachment 302415View attachment 302414


The team was also in the playoff spots currently; despite lower expectations, he felt he could keep them there. Much of it was due to the form of a Gibraltarian striker named Bradley Bubb.

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He remembered his last conversation with his office assistant.
“So, you’re telling me Gibralter is not just a rock.”
“Of course not. Look it up. Spain is still a bit cross about it. They’ve only recently begun playing FIFA fixtures. Bradley has 8 caps.”
“FIFA fixtures? Like in EA Sports? And I’ve never seen Bubb in a ballcap.”
(confused look)
Lasso: “I was just kidding. You’re killing me Smalls.”
(another blank look)

[video=youtube;1aPJYrFLStg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aPJYrFLStg[/video]

But one thing was knowing on his mind. His broke club would not send him to get his coaching badges. This would have to change or he would be leaving soon.
 
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