Big Norm’s Foot and Mouth Tour

[woolly]

This is my first attempt at a manager story so apologies now if it gets boring.

Norman Whiteside former Man United Star and current Podiatrist has decided it’s time to give up looking after smelly feet and go back to the game he use to terrorise with his no nonsense attitude in the 1980’s. The former Northern Ireland player has thrown his hat in and is seeking a managerial position. Although he has had limited experience as an Assistant Manager/Physio at Northwich Victoria a post he gave up in 1992 he now feels the time is right to show his metal as a manager of men. To help him he has sought the advice of his old friend and drinking partner Bryan Robson:

BR: Norm old mate what can I do for you surely it isn’t time for me to get my smelly feet out and have you poke and prod them again.

NW: No Bryan your feet are safe I’ve been missing the old game however and now feel the time maybe right for me to try out management.

BR: You a manager, don’t make me laugh you couldn’t even manage stop old red nose finding out about our drinking sessions back in the day.
NW: Bryan stop it I’m being serious I want to try it I did those coaching courses so at least I won’t need to go back to school again.
BR: If you are serious then go for it. You should do ok I mean you have the determination to make another career change and you were a good leader back in the old days. All I can say is don’t go for the first club to offer you a job, you need to feel happy with the set up and not be too ambitious to begin with, in fact thinking about it you may do well to start in another country other than the UK at least then you can be judged on what you can do not on your reputation as a player.
NW: Thanks for the advice mate; now if we time it right we can get to The Drum and Monkey pub for a pint.

BR: No probs just remember it's your round and mine is a bottle of Newcastle Brown.

 

[woolly]

Several months later and still nothing has come up which appeals. Is there a job out there other than smelly feet. Then out of the blue the phone rings it’s an Italian number.

NW: Hello Whiteside’s Foot Surgery no feet are too smelly to treat.

TG: Bonjournio Norman I’m Tommaso Guilini current chairman of Cagliari in the Italian league.

NW: I’ve heard of Cagliari but why do you want to speak to me do you need some treatment for one of the players feet or is there something else.

TG: No we have a guy who keeps the players feet in top condition but Gianfranco Zola hasn’t really worked out as a manager for us. We’ve tried to get Bryan Robson to come in but it seems he wants to cut back on the stressful life since his cancer scare. He suggested you may be interested so we would like to give you an interview with the view to taking you on.

NW: Ok when and where do you want to see me I’ve got patients to fit in you know.

TG: Can you make it on Wednesday in Rome we’ll pay the airfare if you are acceptable to us.

NW: Yep Wednesday is fine I’ve only got one appointment to change, for an Italian who you may have heard of a Mr M Balotelli of Liverpool, I can move him as it’s not as if he is using his feet much at the moment.

TG Ok that’s sorted we will see you Wednesday Mr Whiteside, Caio.

 

[woolly]

The interview goes well and Norman accepts the offer of the job.


With the initial storyline done I will now be going on in the first person, that is the best way to make it more interesting in my view.

 

[woolly]

First Day – A chance to see what I have really got into

My first day in Italy and I don’t speak a word other than Caio this could be interesting. Thankfully I’ve got a good interpreter who is not only helping me learn the lingo but can even translate my Irish/Mancunian accent so my staff understand. First task to see what I have and if I can play the wingback formation I feel will suit Italians more than the good old 4-4-2 of home.
The squad looks to be in good shape overall age wise with only 2 first teamers over 30, but I will need to strengthen the wingback position especially on the right side and soon I don’t think any of the three current Right Backs/wingbacks have it in them to really be effective. I’ve also got too many loan players in the squad some of those will have to go I’m not here to build stars for other teams. Despite the above I’m going to use the pre-season to get the team playing the way I want and see how they cope.
Before Pre-season starts I’m cornered by the press who seem more concerned with the current wage structure than in the potential of the team. I’m not going to be drawn into a war of words this early into my career thankfully I successfully navigate the press and am able to express my delight in coming to Cagliari.

 

[woolly]

Pre-Season

With the squad assessed it is now time to start getting rid of old wood and bringing in new. First the older players. Only two really stand out Andrea Cusso and Daniele Conte, although Cusso has the potential to possibly be a tutor to my youth players I feel that I may be able to get money from a transfer which will be of more benefit for my finances so he goes on the Transfer list for a 20 thousand fee (I don’t want too much for him as he is a loyal senior player and a smaller fee is more likely to get him off the books), Conte on the other hand has been a key player for over 15 years at first I offer him a mutual termination (a free transfer just doesn’t seem right somehow). I don’t have to wait long for answers Conte refuses to take a termination of his contract I’m disappointed but as his contract expires soon I can gently ease him out of the first team and out of the squad without too many problems. Cesena have offered me £20 thousand for Cusso which I’m happy to accept, Cusso is not going to get first team football as I have younger players in his main position.
On the transfer market I’m looking for young cheap players who I can develop, Adam Nditi a 19 year old Tanzanian Left back I feel fits the bill he is available on a free with the added bonus of not needing a work permit due to him holding a British passport. I’ve also signed up two of the youth team on permanent contracts Deiola (MR/AMR) and Masia (AMR/L), hopefully I will be able to develop for the first team or to sell on for a decent profit at a later date.
Pres-season starts with a quick tour of Wales with Bala and Haverfordwest.
Bala 1 – 3 Cagliari. A good win with Sau scoring 2 goals, I am disappointed to have not kept a cleansheet but it is a new formation for these players.
Haverfordwest 0 – 6 Cagliari. An excellent result with Sau scoring a hattrick before I took him off for a rest.
Next stop Scotland and slightly stronger opposition in Motherwell.
Motherwell 0 – 4 Cagliari. Pre-season continues with a 100% record with another goal glut.
Which brings July to an end.

 

[woolly]

Transfers So Far



Although there is currently a negative on the transfer budget the 3 players brought are already showing to be increasing in value already. They are all potential first team players I feel so long term the finances will be improved

Staff Changes


Despite so far being unbeaten in the pre-season I feel my lads are lacking something. Maybe it is time to start looking at bringing in my own staff. The current rosta I feel is top heavy with coachs and staff for the junior sides, although I will probably have to use my youth I feel one coach for goalkeepers and fitness is more than enough so it is time to get rid of a couple there. Thankfully all 5 members of staff selected accept a mutual termination, now I need to start looking for my own coaching staff. I remember Arthur Albiston one of my former team mates at United has gone into coaching and did well with the U18’s at United helping them get to several Youth Cup finals as well as doing well in the youth leagues was currently out of work. So I offer him a post on the coaching team.

 

[woolly]

Pre-Season Continues

Before I get Arthur’s decision we have a home game to play against Red Star Belgrade another tough opponent which will give my lads a good workout.
Cagliari 2 – 0 Red Star. Another good result with Sau once again scoring bringing his pre-season total to 8 in 4 games hopefully he can keep this up into the season.
After the game the news that Arthur has accepted a contract reaches the dressing room my revolution is now firmly underway.
Next up is Leganes in Spain.
Leganes 1 – 2 Cagliari Not the best performance, first half was great but a couple of injuries in the second half allowed the Spaniards back in it. Thankful to hear the whistle at the end.
Final Pre-season game is at home to Gelsenkirchen (aka FC Schakle 04) this one is the toughy. In a surprise result Cagliari manage to hammer the germans 2-0 without top scorer Sau.
Now the real work begins starting with the Italian Cup. Pre-season has gone well but it is no substitute for competitive games, that’s where I will earn my reputation as a Manager.