Coleraine F.C - No, I hadn't heard of them either!

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I myself im a Cliftonville fan and its good to see someone doing an Irish league save, normally most dont for certain reasons.
 
I plan to have very regular updates Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday... I work fairly heavily the rest of the time and might struggle to play the game. I'm currently in the process of looking for a nice 9-5 however! Hopefully I'll get enough played tomorrow and we can finish the season.

Paddy it's good to have a Northern Irishman following this and I'm sorry that I keep doing your team over haha!
 
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I Got Carried Away - Season Review


First of all... We've completed an objective already!! We won the League Cup against Ards

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And I'm already a bit of a legend in Ireland!
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Our Youth intake came around and it was nothing special but I better show you the best of a poor bunch... Burns is good for a bit of energy when he comes on and McLelland became a bit of a super sub.
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The run in for the league became something a bit special... To the point I thought I might have been cheating!
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We miss out on Europe! Glenavon and Distillery OUR FEEDER CLUB could steal our place... We actually lost to Distillery in the Irish cup which was a bit embarrassing.
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The loss to Distillery actually gave me a bit of a kick up the a*se. We put 2 up front and because free scoring. Some of the results toward the end of the season are truly incredible. If we keep this form up then I'm fully confident we can win the league next year... But we are losing some of our big players some 5* are asking for far too much in the way of wages and the farce that is my finances can't stretch much further than they are currently. So... It will be a rebuild in the summer but if we can get one or two bargains we'll be in Europe next year I think.


 
I'm thinking about 3 updates a season? The transfers in the summer... The first half of the season until Feb 1st so I can share what happens in the Jan Transfer window... and The End of season review? With Important games... Cup finals and European Games getting a Live Commentary?
 
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A good Pre-season.

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Won all our fixtures at a canter... Except from the Liverpool game, we're clearly well off mid table premier league teams just yet :P

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We lost our Goalkeeper on a free, but he wanted ?800 a week and that could pay for half the squad so he's away. We were fairly productive in the transfer window and I think we're a lot stronger defensively, and we haven't lost anyone key up front so I think we can mount a strong challenge for the title!

Finances... Are the colour of this font and I can't see it improving.


 
At this point I decided to call a team meeting as our defence has had more holes in it than Oscar Pistorius' bathroom door and they needed a little bit of a morale boost, the players reacted very well.


laughing like a girl at this bit... #brilliant

Sent from my GT-I9505 using Tapatalk
 
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Northern Ireland League Cup- 2014


Coleraine vs Portadown


Can we retain our title?

I decided to start out pacey centre mid, Ciaren Doherty, up front for this game because Portadown are painfully slow at the back.

9 mins: False 9, Gary Browne sends Doherty racing through the middle, he should score but the lack of composure tells and he doesn't even trouble the GK.

20 mins: As above but we win a corner this time...
(Have I made a mistake?)

22 mins: Our left back Johnny Watt curls in a poor cross straight into the GK's hands... But he fumbles and drops the ball at Doherty's feet!!! GOAL! 1-0 Coleraine.

43 mins: Craig Moore, our nominee for Balon d'Ire slips through Doherty, he gets the shot on target but the keeper palms it on to the post and out for a corner... The corner is swung in and it bounces are before heading back out wide to our CB Birney who finds Gary Browne... GOAL!!! 2-0 Coleraine

HT: 2-0 Coleraine and we're looking good for the trophy

68 mins: Gary Twigg pulls one back for Portadown... He's still an amazing striker.

87 mins: 2-2!!! Murray equalises... Assist by Twigg

89 mins: Craig Moore takes a shot from at least 30 yards... It beats the keeper all ends up but smacks the bar

FT: Unacceptable from my team and I'm going to let them know about it! Bunch of twats.

95 mins: Goal. Murray puts Portadown ahead for the first time.
(I'm ****** furious writing this)

99 mins: Craig Moore is injured and we've made all 3 subs. We will finish the game with 10 men.

105 mins: 4-2 and game over it seems. Murray Hattrick.

105 mins: GOAL!! Eoin Bradley makes it 4-3!!!!



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Well, there it is... FT and we deserved so much more.

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We bullied teams on the way to the final but it just wasn't to be in the end. We'll win it next year!

 
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Mid-Season Update




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So a look at the fixtures tells you that we're doing fairly well! But how well? Let's take a look shall we?

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Booooooom!!! This time last year we were sitting mid table. There is still a lot of football to be played however so I'm not getting too carried away, although it looks like I'm guaranteed a top 4 finish.

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Craig has been involved in 30 goals in 23 starts and has been my key player this season despite his distinctly average starts... I expect a 40m + ?1 bid from Arsenal imminently.

We're still involved in the NI Cup and the All Ireland cup, so I'd love some form of silverware by the end of the season. I think the AIC could see us lose points though, always played on a weekday and see's us picking up silly injuries.

I seem to have stabled our finances and although we are still losing money it's at the rate of ?5-7,000 a month which is certainly manageable. If we get Europe next year I would like to think we'll be able to break even... Wishful thinking.

Coming up: Hopefully a title winning Live Commentary and a few cup finals. If we find a superstar regen in the youth intake I'll make a special wee update just for the wee man too.
 
I've had a serious falling out with the board... I hope I don't have to but the next update may end up with me being the manager of a new club.
 
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DID WE DO IT?!

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YOU BET WE DID! CHAMPIONS!!!!! For the first time in 50 years!!!

Unfortunately, we didn't actually get to celebrate like we would have, Glentoran needed to win to keep their title dream alive on a "wet, windy Tuesday night in" Ards but they only managed a 2-2 draw meaning we celebrated our victories at home... With our wives and kids... No where near any alcohol of any kind....

This means we have Champions League football boys! It's the second round but we've still qualified and it should help even further with our finances


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Which means I'm untouchable, but I'm also being told to go f*ck myself at every request I make. We couldn't reach an agreement on a new contract as I wasn't allowed to relay the pitch (1) Increase our scouting range (2) or even set up a link with a parent club!! (3).

I won manager of the year... Which is nice personally.


I have a month and a half to agree a new deal. I'm going to load up Scotland just now, just in case my Scrooge of a chairman think he can let the best manager the club have ever had go. We'll see in the next update what happens...

 
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Linfield and Cliftonville are doing ****

Big time... So **** in fact that the positions are currently free, along with the crusaders position. But, I'm not sure I could do that to Coleraine so if I need to go it'll need to be a Scottish club
 
Big time... So **** in fact that the positions are currently free, along with the crusaders position. But, I'm not sure I could do that to Coleraine so if I need to go it'll need to be a Scottish club

It will be to Aberdeen laddy ;D
 
Well I couldn't agree to a new contract... I left the club and tried to start again. Unfortunately it seems National rep in NI counts for nothing and I can't get a job for love nor money. It's been 3 years since I've had an interview and in 2019 I've decided to call time on my football career. It's with my deepest regrets I have to bring an end to this story. I ask however, in preperation for my next, that the followers of this story leave suggestions of either league's or teams
 
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