getting dragged out of a club by my mates only for me to force my way back in then my friends pushed me and i ended up standing in the middle of the road shouting i wanted another drink then of all things getting hit by a car and dislocating my shoulder could not remember it but luckily enough one of my mates were cruel enough to record it
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deano and gsanity theyre both pretty funny, should have video taped it lad
Chaz Sexington
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That reminds me! i was out on last Sunday getting hammered (was gonna see WASP, a great 80's shock rock band) and i somehow stole a hobo's dress. Possibly a new all-time low. Possibly.
Additionally, my favourite one was when i was 18 and me, a mate (André) and a girl (Annika) decided to head up to my Granddad's cottage the day before my Norwegian exam (More mates would come up after the exam, but neither André or Annika were sitting it). My plan was to pass out by midnight, wake up at 6 AM and get the train into town, then get the subway. Sounds like a simple plan.
First part goes doesn't go quite as planned. i forget the keys, but luckily my mum (i was 18) drives up with it (it's not a long journey). So me and my two pals are outside the cottage in about -10/-15 degrees, freezing. Luckily my mate always has whisky on him, so we manage to stay warm. Then all goes to plan; we get hammered and i pass out at about midnight after vomiting through my nose (peppers are a ******* to remove from your nose).
Wake up the next day at 6 am and get ready to go sit my exam. i get up, realising i'm still absolutely wasted. intelligently enough i decide on a pair of cowboy boots. Now, cowboy boots don't have a lot of grip, especially if you've got to walk an hour to the nearest train station while it's snowing on an icy road. So i get going and about halfway there i hear barking (wolves have been spotted round the cottage not long ago). Thinking none of it i just continue my brisk, drunken stagger. The barking gets nearer and before you know it i'm running as fast as i can down a country road with massive dogs after me, as some idiot farmer forgot to keep 'em locked up. So there i am, running like mad in cowboy boots (and cowboy hat) trailed by dogs in the snow. Eventually the dogs turn back and leave me alone.
i arrive in town and get on the metro where i meet a pal. He asks me "have you been drinking?" "Not since last night," i reply. i get to my school and walk in about five minutes late, realising i've used my empty jägermeister bottle as a water bottle. Genius! Teacher goes "Can anyone smell booze?" Everybody look around and nod as i sit down and start writing my essay.
Needless to say, i got my best mark ever.
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wow thats pretty funny chaz, this isnt me but one of my friends is rich he owns a house in florida, snakes roam there, so he gets drunk and falls asleep in the middle of the florida wasteland, he wakes up in a lair of rattlesnakes, he had to call poison control to get him out
haha Wolves and snow, 2 things that wouldn't come with a hangover in England
Cowboy boots don't feature that often either lolXDhaha Wolves and snow, 2 things that wouldn't come with a hangover in England
Another time is when me and my mates went to Greece for a lads holiday last summer. There was this legendary bar called George's and they used to have this beer bong offer lol. It was like 5 euro for 2 cocktails a pint and a shot all down the beer bong at once and my mate Nick he does two of them so he's already ****** but the ******* has the biggest ego so he says he'll do some more and by this point he has already put on a fake cockney accent and was singing "I'm Forever blowing Bubbles" out loud even though he is a Man Utd fan.
He does two more beer bongs and his eyes are swirling, I'm already trying hard not to laugh he almost looked like he was drooling haha. I call him a ***** so he says he'll do one more. He does it and finishes it, he raises his arm and like proper celebrates, he walks five feet then suddenly vomites all over these girls feet who were sitting at a nearby table haha. I recorded this aswell haha
He does two more beer bongs and his eyes are swirling, I'm already trying hard not to laugh he almost looked like he was drooling haha. I call him a ***** so he says he'll do one more. He does it and finishes it, he raises his arm and like proper celebrates, he walks five feet then suddenly vomites all over these girls feet who were sitting at a nearby table haha. I recorded this aswell haha
SunderlandDanny1973
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Singing and texting the lyrics of Aerosmith I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing to the girl I had been with during last year of comprehensive school, and been interested with for bout 2 years.
Needless to say my drunken messages and phone calls were not enough to win her over ah well.......
Needless to say my drunken messages and phone calls were not enough to win her over ah well.......
TommyHayes1989
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Drunken texting is never a good idea
Rang my mom before saing I was going to captain Ireland to win the 2010 World Cup
Got home and started playing football in my house and broke a very expensive wedding gift
Mom was not very impressed
Rang my mom before saing I was going to captain Ireland to win the 2010 World Cup
Got home and started playing football in my house and broke a very expensive wedding gift
Mom was not very impressed
G
Gregor
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When did FM-B become so young, I still remember when I was one of the younger ones.
Cant think of any particularly bad ones from the past atm but the other week a few of us were meant to be going out but it ended up i was stuck with a girl I dont like, just me and her. So I went to txt my mates to QQ, saying zomfg ty for leaving me with her, and i accidently txt it to her as I used my most recent txt numbers to select who im txting to
, she was sat accross the table form me....AWKWARD.
Ive witnessed a **** load of other people making **** of themselves but im too lazy to type them all so ill just type the most unbeliveable one....House party, girl I know, and who ****** me off no end with her 'cookyness' swallows like a whole pack of paracetmol before she comes out and starts drinking vodka (nefin sucidal or that, shes just a creep). So like after 2 hours noones seen her for liek 30 mins, turns out shes in the bog, and shes fallen off the toilet cos shes that crunk and has therefore **** herself, however she also managed to somehow block the toilet. The toirlet overflows and floods the whole house (the house was new), with water streaming through the light fixtures, flooding the living room downstairs. I have a peek in the door out of curiousty and shes doubled over the bath with her bare, brown *** in the air.../sick ttm
Cant think of any particularly bad ones from the past atm but the other week a few of us were meant to be going out but it ended up i was stuck with a girl I dont like, just me and her. So I went to txt my mates to QQ, saying zomfg ty for leaving me with her, and i accidently txt it to her as I used my most recent txt numbers to select who im txting to
, she was sat accross the table form me....AWKWARD.Ive witnessed a **** load of other people making **** of themselves but im too lazy to type them all so ill just type the most unbeliveable one....House party, girl I know, and who ****** me off no end with her 'cookyness' swallows like a whole pack of paracetmol before she comes out and starts drinking vodka (nefin sucidal or that, shes just a creep). So like after 2 hours noones seen her for liek 30 mins, turns out shes in the bog, and shes fallen off the toilet cos shes that crunk and has therefore **** herself, however she also managed to somehow block the toilet. The toirlet overflows and floods the whole house (the house was new), with water streaming through the light fixtures, flooding the living room downstairs. I have a peek in the door out of curiousty and shes doubled over the bath with her bare, brown *** in the air.../sick ttm
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gregor thats horrible LOL
Doing a pub crawl on my birthday and after numerous shots with tabasco sauce added!!!! Proceeded to start calling all the oversized girls who passed me obese mooses. How I got into a nightclub I dont know as was kicked out after five minutes for falling down a flight of stairs. Started to walk home but lost my way and then found my mobile in my pocket and started to text my mates who I had been drinking with a simple text of HELP. Then turned my phone off as you do. The next part becomes a little blurry as I then wake up in someones front garden with a cat licking my face. The cat must of just eaten some sort of cat food as I then vomitted over the cat. How I made my way home I dont know. Hung over next day and switch mobile on and my mates have been frantically texting me as worried to what happened to me. They had been wandering around the town where I live for three hours looking for me.
G
Gregor
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Though of one of my own but its not that interesting.
Bascically at the start of uni the combo of bad food and drinking everyday for 3 months ****** my stomack up. So basically I went from never being sick when drunk (think i was sick once or twice ebfore uni) to spewing all the time. Anyway, I ended up spewing, and i mean projectile vomiting in the middle of a club, quickly left before any staff noticed. My stomack was that acid though back then the slightest thing wud make me sick, eg the fire extingusier going off and inhalinf w/e comes out of it.
Another **** story about someelse is my mate back when we were 15-16 **** himself after drinking half a bottle of Buckie, good times
Bascically at the start of uni the combo of bad food and drinking everyday for 3 months ****** my stomack up. So basically I went from never being sick when drunk (think i was sick once or twice ebfore uni) to spewing all the time. Anyway, I ended up spewing, and i mean projectile vomiting in the middle of a club, quickly left before any staff noticed. My stomack was that acid though back then the slightest thing wud make me sick, eg the fire extingusier going off and inhalinf w/e comes out of it.
Another **** story about someelse is my mate back when we were 15-16 **** himself after drinking half a bottle of Buckie, good times
On Holiday in Santa Ponsa a few years ago with mates....6am staggering home after a good night and two huge black women come over...im expecting them to ask the time or for some change or something (they looked homeless) they start asking if we want to take them back for 50 euro and for what ever reason i started screaming and running away from them lol
About 10 years ago a few of my mates where home on leave so we went out on the drink,we had a good skin full then decided to go to the night club.On the way we had piggy back races down the street,me and another guy ended up going through a pet shop window.Ended up spending the early hours waiting in casualty getting stitches to multiple cuts.
Just one of a number of my Drunken and stupid escapades.
Just one of a number of my Drunken and stupid escapades.
i remember once i had some mcdonalds vouchers for free big mac's... at the same time i was absolutely slaughtered and went up town. after a mad night of getting absolutely steamed! i decided... im hungry. so after we left the club, i went to 'Azims kebab house' with my big mac vouchers and began to persistantly demand my free f***ing big mac's lol, to the point where i got kicked out of a kebab house, whilst shouting "KFC is better anyway" ... wasnt my brightest hour lol