Barek Gul pictured at high security prison.
July 1st 2009;
I sit here in my cell wondering 'what-if'. I was a talented central forward in my day, Fenerbahce were on my tail and so was Galatasaray and even Tottenham Hotspur was brought up to me in conversation. But.. those days are behind me now. Now I am nothing but a convict, trapped in this 5 foot by 5 foot box. Walking around in circling trying to figure out where I went wrong in life. I am now only 47-years-old, still got a good twenty or so years to live.. if you can call rotting away in a concrete jungle living. I used to have a steady job, a beautiful girlfriend.. I threw all of that away. All of it. For what? Nothing, that's what. I was a talented coach as well, coaching a team in the Turkish first division, not paticularly amazing but still, it was an achievement at my age.. after my dreaded injury. The bars on my cell are slowly shifted sideways, as I turn my head to look at the man standing in the doorway.. visitors perhaps? As the man comes into focus, it's the prison guard with a dirty grin on his face, "come on boy.. it's time for you're daily beating.." I gulp but in some ways I am used to this.. I am used to this madness they call Adana F Tipi Yüksek Güvenlikli Kapalı Ceza İnfaz Kurumu..
July 4th 2009;
They took my book off of me.. mocked me cruelly with it and attacked me. It doesn't bother me anymore, I'm but a cold lifeless human body now. I feel no emotion, I long for the day I get released or bailed.. sniffing the scent of freedom. Being able to go back and live with my family in Istanbul. Meet the grand-kids for the first time, this is what a parent dreams of, the day he meets his new-born grand-kids.. I have been deprived of that duty, for close to nothing. I was sent down for supposedly a mass killing.. as half of the Turkísh mafia were wiped out in one go, I was framed by the real culprit. I pledge my innocence until the day I die. My name is Burak Gul, I support Fenerbahce football club and I am innocent..
July 9th 2009;
July 9th 2009;
I have just recieved word through other prisoners that Fenerbahce manager has just been sacked. Aykut Kocaman has been relieved of his duties at the club.. I hope we find someone good . I have supported Fenerbahce football club all of my life. 47-years of supporting the same team. You could call the lunacy, or commitment. I used to go and watch Fenerbahce with my dad and I used to watch them with my son. Emre. I miss him.. I miss football... I miss living life. One day, I shall get out of this ****-hole. I've got to catch some sleep, visiting day tommorow, my son is coming to see me. After three long months, I finally get the chance to speak to my son.. g'night.
July 10th 2009;
7.30am sharpish, I am awoken by the sound of the guards shouting and screaming for us to wake up. I shake my head, getting to my feet.. the name sake of my son, is my guard, Emre.. he is what you say in England.. a ****. He leads me down the steps, the steel clanging shudders my whole body and the cold steel I feel on my hand is from the railing leading down the stairs to the visiting room.. at least I feel something. I am led into the room and I see the young face of my son, 20-years-old now. "Emre!" I say abit over-excited. He gets to his feet with an enormous grin on his face. He is wearing his Fenerbahce shirt I sent him for his 19th birthday. "Dad! There is great news.. sit.. I must tell you." Emre sits me down and we talk about general things until there's about four minutes left of the visiting meeting. Then he tells me about Fenerbahce boss being sacked. "Good news?!" I say, "How is this good news?" Emre looks around and hushes his tone so only the two of us can hear, I see my guard looking over suspiciously. "Dad, they need a replacement and believe it or not, YOUR in the frame!" My heart skipped a beat, then I snapped back to reality. "Don't be silly, Emre.. don't get you're ol' mans hope's up with no grounds." Emre reveals a newspaper he snook in and he's right! There's a huge picture of me on the front with the headline. "Mahkum Fenerbahçe pozisyon için çerçeve içinde!" Which reads "Convict in frame for Fenerbahce vacancy!" in English. I was shell-shocked and my heart fell into the pit of my stomach. My son began to explain but his visiting time was cut off. As he was led away, he winked at me and said "Wait for the call Dad." I wondered, 'what if...'
"I really am among the favourites!"
"I really am among the favourites!"
