Fakin'it - The "manager" who never knew anything about football

[Buchenwald]

Okay guys, I'm excited for this, but I need to give you a little heads up :
- I already played a season when I stumbled across this board, so I'm gonna be light on screenshots for the first season.
- Even when I will, I have the french version but I will point out the useful information

View attachment 263665


Enter Y. Agneroh. Agneroh was a brash, charismatic, 220 pound History teacher in Paris. He loved to go to work every day, especially the moment when he knew he would be coming home. Every Saturday for now 7 years, Agneroh keeps his alarm on, just for the pleasure of kicking it off again. He missed a few Fridays this way. And one Wednesday.
Being a great cheater in school, he was always alert during tests - but his tests were too easy so no one ever did.

In Summer 2011, at the age of 40, Agneroh wanted extra money in order to go on vacation somewhere fancy, so he asked his school if he could work extra for the final French exam, the Baccalaureat, in June. The principal agreed, and during the paperwork associated with the new workload, the school found that Agneroh never had a degree all along. He was fired.

Not knowing what to do with his life, Agneroh went to a pub. He asked for a pen, a beer, a pencil, and another beer. As he wrote the list of jobs he could apply to, Manager was his top choice, with Food Critic being a close second. After all, he knew all there is to know about football. He knows that it's about that 11 players in one side, 11 in another, a ball, weird offside rules, and two guys in suits yelling at players - right, like you can be heard in a 80000 person stadium.

Trainers have entire staff to support them, and the players are smart! They can figure it out by themselves...

Yeah, trainer was the perfect job for a lazyass like him.

[From now on, the story will be in first person]

Oh, man. But I only know French! Allright, this might be a long road. Let's get the list of French Ligue 1 clubs and call them all. And a beer.
...
...

...
Okay, maybe Ligue 2. Still a steady paycheck.
...
...
Seriously, they want me to pass some sort of "manager's exam"? Oh, maybe I could cheat this one...too long, I need money now. How about National?
Man, I don't even know one of the teams in there. Let's call them.

View attachment 263667

UZ Luzenac president, Patrick Fraisse, told me to come visit him. Let's check them out on Wikipedia. Oh, the medias predict them in 15th place....15? Out of 20? This is the worst!
Stadium...1600 seats? The smallest stadium in National?
Budget....400 000 euros? Kaka wins that every two weeks!

One roadtrip later...

Okay, Luzenac is quite a nice town. My kids would love it. If I had kids. Or a wife. Or a girlfriend for that matter! Yeah, I really need a job.


Patrick Fraisse : This is a good resume, mister. Salesman, spokesman, army veteran....okay I can live with that. We would want to hire you.
Agneroh : Okay, but I don't know, I have another team willing to hire me. A real team mister, with a stadium and all.
Patrick Fraisse : You will be payed 43500€/year.
Agneroh : When do I start?


Aaaaaaaaaand that's how I became a manager.
Okay, let's take a look at that team...


​

Okay, any thoughts so far?
I will try to take Luzenac to the Ligue 1 and win it two years in a row before considering changing teams.

 

[Buchenwald]

2011-2012 : part One
Getting acquainted

In my office..
*knock knock*
Frederic Massat : Hello, Mr. Agneroh. I'm Frederic Massat, your assistant manager.
Agneroh : (You really don't know what's coming to you my dear.)
Agneroh : Oh, hello. I was just checking the players.
Massat : Oh, right. Well I printed a list for you.
Agneroh : (Awesome)
...
But they are at least half of them that are 17! Kick them out, I don't want to go back to teaching.
Massat : Fine, they will go with the U19 team
We have an U19 team???

GK : Gregori, Mahout, Placca
|
Center Back : Dao, Mignotte, Makalou, Lacoste
Left Back : Cavaillé
Right Back : Karaboualy
|
Defensive and Central Midfielders : Malfleury, Akaza, Chanier, Bodiot
Right Wing : Cé Ougna
Left Wing : M'Bongo
|
Strikers : Laurent, Koffi, Fori

Great. We have a few matches to test them, but this one seems quite good : Rémi Laurent (ST)
Massat : Yes, but I think our key player is Issou Dao, a great defender.
Okay, let's roll.


View attachment 264102View attachment 264107
(spoiler alert, partial screenshot)


Laurent seems very promising, with 14 in Finishing, 11 in Ball control and 14 in Header, and only 24 years old...
Speaking of headers, we only have wingers, no N°10. And how are we supposed to play without a 10?
Let's sign new players.

Fraisse : Of course!
Agneroh : So, how much money do we got?
Fraisse : That depends on what you want to achieve. Let's talk about next season...
Oh, so I'm supposed to say stuff that I'm supposed to achieve. Well...let's look at the offers.
No relegation: 0€ transfer,450K salary
Midtable: 0€ transfer,475K salary
Top 10: 0€ transfer, 475K salary
Promotion: 0€ transfer, 475K salary
Battle for the title: 0€ transfer, 475K salary
Title: 0€ transfer, 500K salary

Is this guy serious? Like I'm gonna promise promotion for the same money you can get in midtable?

SEASON GOALS :
Achieve midtable rank (10 to 14)
Seems doable..

Qualify to 9th round of Coupe de France
We enter in 6th round, so that's 3 matches. In 9th round, Ligue 1 clubs jump into the fray, so all bets are off.

Okay, transfer time.
No money means....let's go to the unemployment website, category : Football.
Nice pictures...
Oh, I forgot to specify. *** : Male.
We need offensive midfielders, and our left defense sucks badly.

SIGN INS :
AIMANE EL GUERIBI (Offensive Midfielder, Left Wing)
JULIEN VELLAS (Left Defense)
GUILLAUME GEGOUSSE (Left Defense)
VALENTIN NKWELLE (Offensive Midfielder, Right Wing)
TED LAVIE (Defensive Midfielder)

OUT :
No one.

Secretary : The medias want to ask you about your new recruits.
Agneroh : Do we get paid?
Secretary : No, sir.
Agneroh : Waste of my time then!

Okay, let's talk tactics now. We have wingers and strikers that can pull great headers. Ahem...and we got two offensive midfielders now...

View attachment 264150

Yeah, that will do. This is our central masterpiece tactic, the crooked 4-3-3. Hopefully the opponents won't notice it's crooked. Besides, we can change the left winger for the right and the players will act the same.
How about both wings? Yeah, if we need to attack, all offense strategy.

View attachment 264154

Okay, I can maybe pull one more out with my genius brain...what's lacking in the other tactics? The midfield. It's 2011, every team has now at least 5 midfielders. Maybe I should do the same just in case I'm against a 3-6-1...

View attachment 264160

And we're set! Let's play some games!!

Friendly :

We face a bunch of teams no one's ever heard of, and Livorno in the end. They used to be in Serie A a few years ago.

Luzenac 3-2 Luzenac Reserve
Mignotte, Koffi

Toulouse Fontaines 3-5 Luzenac
Laurent (2), Chanier, Bodiot, Fori

Luzenac 2-0 Héracles
Mignotte, Laurent

Pole Espoirs Dijon 0-4 Luzenac
Laurent (2), Koffi, Chanier

Pole Espoirs Liévin 1-4 Luzenac
Fori, M'Bongo (3)

Luzenac 3-0 Vicenza
Fori, Akaza, Lacoste

Promising matches, we played 4-3-3 and 4-2-4 most of the time. Lots of headers, Rémi Laurent scores quite a lot, corner kicks too. A few hickups in defense but that was only for the first matches.
However, while playing 4-2-4, the two strikers often traded spots with the wingers to cross (!?)
Doesn't make sense. I'm gonna tell the team to stay put in their positions.

Issou Dao and Karaboualy are shaky, the right side of our defense is our weak spot so far. So much for our "star player"...

Last match against Livorno, I'm gonna use the official starting 11 :

Grégori - Karaboualy, Dao, Mignotte/Lacoste, Gégousse - Lavie/Malfleury, Akaza, El Guéribi/Nkwellé - M'Bongo(left)/Cé Ougna(right) - Laurent, Koffi/Fori
CAPTAIN : Mignotte
Second captain : El Guéribi

Luzenac 3-0 Livorno
Laurent(2), Nkwéllé

AWESOME! You did it guys.
We can officially rock National! Being a manager is so easy I don't need an assistant after all! Short hours, staying in the training bench drinking powerade (but it's vodka), the sun! Match days are hard on me for now, I mean I need to STAND, but I can live with that....for now.

Okay, I need to learn more about National now, it's starting in two days. Let's buy some newspapers...
The Foes :
The monsters : Nimes, Vannes, Rouen, Paris FC, Beauvais
Solid teams : Colmar, Orléans, Fréjus, Niort, Martigues, Red Star
Meh : Créteil, Gazélec, Besancon, Bayonne
Worse than us : Poirié sur Vie, Quevilly, Epinal, Cherbourg

Only 5 players on the bench each game!?
That means 1 goalie, 2 defenders, 2 midfielders and...****.
1 goalie, 2 defenders, 1 midfielder and 1 striker.
But the offensive midfield is not the same as the defensive midfield...
...
Screw the goalie. I'll be using both anyway.

NATIONAL DEBUT
FIRST GAME

Okay, let's tear down the house! My boys are pumped up, motivated, healthy, and ready to go!!

Luzenac 0-1 Gazélec

Uh oh.
​

 

[Buchenwald]

2011-2012 : part Two

A splashing entrance

National Game 1
Luzenac 0-1 Gazélec

Ugh. This was a 90 minute trainwreck. Dao lost the ball right in front of the goalie. And bam.
Laurent botched all of his attempts. Koffi who replaced him managed to be offside 4 times..
Massat : Go easy on them, they didn't deserve to lose.
Agneroh : What? Go to the press conference and let me deal with this myself.
*locks the locker door*

Who's next? Red Star?
Okay, let's play offense this time. Losing is fine but failing to score with our manpower is just not acceptable

National Game 2
Red Star 2-4 Luzenac
Akaza, M'Bongo, Koffi(2)

Good, good. Let's play the next one in 4-2-4 again.

National Game 3
Luzenac 3-0 Cherbourg
Fori, Laurent, Mignotte

National Game 4
Luzenac 2-4 Fréjus
Laurent(2)

Ok, maybe the 4-2-4 is a bit extreme. We're scoring a lot, but we're also taking a lot of goals.
Secretary : You will be going to Nimes next match.
Nimes! One of the big dogs. We will try to counter them.
But.....how do we counter?

Agneroh : Hey, I'm busy today. Focus on countering attacks and scoring goals next match. We will play it in 4-3-3.
Massat : Very well sir.
Agneroh : (Honest day of work)

National Game 5
Nimes 0-4 Luzenac
Laurent, Koffi, Makalou (2)

Yeah! The first two goals were perfect counters, headers right in the net. The other two were corner kicks taken by Makalou! Great!
Massat : There's the press conference, do you want me to go?
Agneroh : Nope, this time I'm going! Hahaha...

National Game 6
Luzenac 3-1 Paris FC
Koffi, El Guéribi, Laurent

That one was hard. We were set to counter them, as they are by far the richest team in National, but they scored anyway. We switched then to the dreaded all-in 4-2-4 and scored 3 in a row. The red card they had right in the beginning of the second half didn't help them.

That's a good rythmic going on. With 12 points in 6 matches, we are tied 3rd!
We have the best scorer in National, Laurent, with 5 goals, and the best assist, M'Bongo, with 5 assists!
Let's keep this up!

​

 

[Buchenwald]

2011-2012 : part Three
The harder they fall

Being a manager is only the beginning. I needed to get my life in the right track. That means to meet someone.
MILF : Oh, you're new in town!
Agneroh : Yes, I train the football club of Luzenac
MILF : That's great! My ex husband loved football and I kind of liked it too.
Agneroh :
MILF : And how's Luzenac doing?
Agneroh : What, you don't know? We are actually running for promotion to Ligue 2!
MILF : Seriouuusly? *plays with her hair*
Agneroh : But....you didn't know?
MILF : Oh yeah of course haha....no one follows the results of Luzenac! We have better things to do!!
.
.
****, she's right. Our 1600-people stadium is barely half full, and the local newspaper is dealing with some worldwide financial crisis instead of our awesome matches...
Agneroh : And that's why we need to bring people to the stadium.
Massat : Well sir this is National, and we have a poor stadium, so we can't really do anything about it.
Fraisse (President) : And no money to spend for now. But we hear your problem.
Agneroh : ...

National Game 7
Martigues 2-1 Luzenac
Koffi
Martigues scores winning goal (90e+1)

National Game 8
Luzenac 1-1 Créteil
Laurent

National Game 9
Vannes 5-3 Luzenac
Laurent (2), Fori

National Game 10
Luzenac 1-2 Bayonne
Own goal
Bayonne scores winning goal (88e)

****, we are back in the 10th place. There's 2 games we lose because of last minute goals.

National Game 11
Besancon 0-2 Luzenac
Laurent, El Guéribi

At least we score goals every match.
Massat : The fans love Laurent!
Agneroh : We don't have fans, we have old people with nothing to do the saturday night and who come to see us...

National Game 12
Luzenac 0-0 Orléans
Nkwéllé injured
Malfleury injured

National Game 13
Niort 1-0 Luzenac
El Guéribi injured

National Game 14
Luzenac 2-1 Beauvais
Lacoste, Fori

We make good results against the big dogs but we let points slide too often against smaller teams.
Next up is Rouen, 2nd place. If what I say is true, we should own them...

National Game 15
Rouen 3-1 Luzenac
Laurent
Vellas injured
5 yellow cards


Really? Another injury? Why? We only have partial time training!
Nkwéllé : Well the hole surprised me
Agneroh : The HOLE?
Nkwéllé : Yes, we have holes in our stadium. It's a disaster.
Agneroh : It's a joke. Let me see this for myself...

View attachment 264266

Agneroh : We need to make the stadium anew. This is unacceptable.
Fraisse : I hear you, but the stadium isn't full, so you won't get another one.
Agneroh : Fine. Let's at least change the grass.
Fraisse : Okay, I will launch the project. Good job in National by the way.
Agneroh : What? But I'm losing every other match!
Fraisse : But we are still in the midtables...
Agneroh : Right. 11th place, 7 points behind the 3rd, and 7 points ahead of the 17th....this is a turning point.

NEXT MATCH
Coupe de France 6eme tour
Orange (lower league) vs Luzenac

Let's make the starting 11...wait.
We only have 12 players? Including the 2nd goalie?
Massat : Well, we have quite a lot of injuries and suspensions.
Agneroh : So what do we do?
Massat : Let's take players from the reserve.

The reserve. A place where players are not even good enough to play in Luzenac. We can barely call what they do football. I saw them playing today. I am in deep.
Laurent and M'Bongo are still here, thank god. Without our best scorer and assist, we are doomed.

Starting 11 against Orange (3-4-3)
Grégori - Karaboualy, Mignotte, Gégousse - ???, !?!?, Akaza, !?!? - M'Bongo, Cé Ougna - Laurent
​

 

[StephenMUFC]

Love this

 

[AJ0207]

This is really good look forward to see how this progresses!

 

[Buchenwald]

2011-2012 : part Four
Keep calm and put on your best poker face

Clothes.
I need clothes. I put mustard in my shirt and I have to be on bench in one hour!
*sees the locker room opened*
Ahem....we have El Guéribi injured, right?
Let's put his jersey.

AAAAAnnnnnd here we go for the 6th round of Couuuupe de France! The visiting team, Luzenac, just arrived! They only are 13 to come visit the unknown team of Orange! The manager Agneroh put a jersey to show his support to his injured player!
Stupid journalists.

I'm not even sure that I took the right players in this plane trip. I mean, I've never seen the reserve "players" before. I could be escorting high profile criminals.
Okay, here goes nothing...
​

Coupe de France 6eme tour
Orange 0-6 Luzenac
Cé Ougna (3), Mignotte, Fori, Koffi

Good match, especially with our crappy midfielders...

Next round, 7eme tour....
Opponent : Martigues (National)

Oh, tough battle ahead. My goal is the 9th round, I need to win this one. Let's sit the key players out in next match.
That means....*gasp* more reserve players.

National Game 16
Luzenac 1-0 Colmar
Cé Ougna (90e s.p.)

Got lucky, last minute free penalty kick...
YES, El Guéribi is back, right in time for Martigues game.
Massat : You might make him play with the reserves in order for him to gear up.
Agneroh : Yeah right...

Coupe de France 7eme tour
Luzenac 2-0 Martigues
El Guéribi, Malfleury
El Guéribi injured.

Guéribi :
Too bad, Guéribi. Let's make sure you didn't die for nothing.
Guéribi : Hey, I'm still ali..
Agneroh : With Nkwéllé playing like **** and Guéribi dead, I need another offensive midfielder. Let's look at unemployment website.

JOKER SIGN IN
Ludovic Agrati (Offensive/Central Midfielder)



Next round, 8eme tour....
Opponent : Andrézieux (CFA, 4th division)
Cool, another easy match and I achieve my first goal in the season! Bonuuus, here we come!

National Game 17
Poirié sur Vie 1-2 Luzenac
M'Bongo, Malfleury

National Game 18
Luzenac 3-1 Quevilly
Koffi, Cé Ougna, Laurent
Great series, making us finish the half season in 6th place! Best scorer tied, Rémi Laurent!
TWO best assists, M'Bongo and Cé Ougna (tied 2nd)
Let's eat Andrézieux alive and go on vacations celebrate Christmas!!


Coupe de France 8e tour
Luzenac - Andrézieux
Starting team (crooked right 4-3-3)
Placca - Karaboualy, Dao, Mignotte, Gégousse - Lavie, Malfleury, Agrati - Cé Ougna - Fori, Koffi

Peaceful first half...36th minute.
Some dude has the ball and crosses....but Mignotte takes the ball...and loses it!? WTF??? Some other dude takes the ball....and scores!!!

Luzenac 0-1 Andrézieux
That Guy (36)

****, **** **** **** **** ****!! Fori takes the ball and....kicks the ball out of our stadium! Already half time...
Okay, I need to do something. Guys, you are really playing like **** today. But not just ordinary ****. No, I mean real Guiness record level, military grade ****. So please for the second half, try to do ordinary ****. And maybe play some football, okay?
Now, let's switch to 4-2-4. Laurent, you're in! M'Bongo, you're in!

Massat : You want to play with 13 players?
Agneroh : Oh right, sorry. Agrati, Fori, out!

2nd half.

We're playing diarhea **** now, the possession is theirs but the defense is tight, and we get ourselves caught in offside too often...M'Bongo is tackled outside of the left field!
Cé Ougna takes the free kick....right for the header of Dao! GOOOOALL!!


Luzenac 1-1 Andrézieux
That Guy (36)
Dao (64)

Dao takes Usain Bolt stances and ****. Andrézieux player keeps the ball, he eliminates Lavie...and Dao...and scores!


Luzenac 1-2 Andrézieux
That Guy (36)
Dao (64)
That Guy (65)

****, that guy scored twice. Lavie is tired, Akaza, go in! Tell the players to go all out!!
It doesn't work. The match is about to end. My life, my carreer....against Andrézieux. I don't want to end like this. No. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Gégousse looks at me, he's got a throw in. He sees my despair. He makes a long throw to M'Bongo, who turns and crosses...CE OUGNA TAKES THE VOLLEY SHOT!! GOAOOOAOAOOGOAOAOOAOAOAOALLLL!!

Luzenac 2-2 Andrézieux
That Guy (36)
Dao (64)
That Guy (65)
Cé Ougna (89)

Extra time!
Okay, the players have the ball now. The opponents are tired as ****, even more than my players...
116th minute, corner kick! Cé ougna shoots! The ball bounces back...
Cé ougna crosses! The ball bounces back yet again!!

Cé ougna waits...crosses!! M'BONGO TAKES THE HEADER AND GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO *no more voice*

Luzenac 3-2 Andrézieux
That Guy (36)
Dao (64)
That Guy (65)
Cé Ougna (89)
M'Bongo (116)

Luzenac 3-2 Andrézieux

What a great way to end our year! Our 536 fans loooved the match! I will have to ask though if our 2 teams and the ref count in the 536. Because you know, 11+11+7+7+4 = uh...a lot when you compare to 536.

Fraisse : Good job Agneroh. You did it. Let's come to Paris for the drawing of 9th round.
Agneroh : Sure. (yes!!)

DRAWING OF 9TH ROUND.

Fraisse : Remember, if you end up with a weak team, say that you take every match responsibly.
Agneroh : And if we have a hard team?
Fraisse : That you take every match responsibly.
Agneroh : Right...
Fraisse : And whatever the drawing, the TV will be focused on us, so keep calm and put on your best poker face.

Okay. Poker Face.
Bordeaux. Against...not us. Poker face.
Carquefou (who's dat?). Against....not us. Too bad, but poker face.

Olympique Lyonnais vs....Luzenac.

Coupe de France 9th round
Luzenac - Lyon

Fudge face.
​

 

[Buchenwald]

2011-2012 : part Five
Paper beats Rock


Journalist : You had a hard drawing tonight against Lyon. What are your thoughts?
President Fraisse : Well it will be hard, but we take every match seriously. Agneroh can talk to you about the details....Agneroh? Where did he go?
.
.
View attachment 265931
Well, we are in Paris for the day, so let's take a beer in my favorite pub.
Barkeep : Oh, you are back! Have a seat, I'll have your beer ready.
Kinda fun, really. Six months already...let's take a look at Lyon's level recently
Lyon
Ligue 1 : 3rd place after 19 games
C1 : Drew Barcelona in 1/8 final. Finished 2nd behind Real but beat them at home.

****, ****. I can't really do anything, right? Well, I've achieved my goal. Too bad, Coupe de France pays well every match. Let's go home to Luzenac and focus on National...
??? : Isn't it our fake teacher?
Agneroh : Oh, Léon.

Léon is a young Philosophy teacher in my school. Always looked up to me for some reason.
Léon : How are you? Everyone's asking about you after you got fired. Some people are even joking about your options. I'm pretty sure the students think you became homeless.
Right, no one follows National here. Besides, Luzenac is near Spain border so I'm not even...well fudge this. Fudge my old life. I'm coming home.
Agneroh : I'm busy, sorry.
.
.
Léon : (Agneroh, new phone, suit, busy? Oh, he became a druglord. Neat.)

On the plane, I talked to Fraisse about the holidays. He wanted me to go to China or Pakistan for the friendlies, I told him we needed to gain money, not spend it. We will face National or Ligue 2 level teams to win money.

Friendlies, vs :
Martigues (National)
Grenoble (CFA, Ligue 1 level in fact but went to CFA after a bankrupcy)
Clairefontaine (CFA)
Citadella (Serie B)

Let's review the players after the first half season.

Goalkeepers : I have been using Grégori 60% of the time, he is the best but he is 34. Placca is getting 40% time in order to gear up and replace him next year or the one after that. Nothing to worry about in game, but their aerial play SUCKS, and we concede a lot of goals in free kicks and corner kicks.

Defense : Gégousse is a beast in left defense. Man of the match 3 times, he is solid in defense and helps in offense too. Lacoste and Mignotte are solid central defenders. Dao the "star player" is not that useful really. Less than 6.5 average...I will tell him to step up before the end of the season or he's out. Karaboualy...well....I can't blame him. Sure, he's lame, but if you had a job you knew NO ONE BUT YOU could do, would you do it 100%.....yeah right.
Makalou....is being let go in the end of the season.

I need to hire another right back, in order to put pressure on Karaboualy

SIGN IN
Darko Dunjic (unemployed, right back)

Midfield : The defensive midfielders, Akaza and Malfleury, are nice. Ted Lavie is a good recruit too. Akaza is 33 though, so we have to keep that in mind. They are not really awesome though, and will be the second place we need to recruit, after defense.
The offensive midfielders. Aaaah. El Guéribi is decent enough, but was already injured twice in 4 months.
Fraisse : Wasn't that YOUR fault?
Agneroh : Uh....
And Nkwéllé...was a bad move. We lose when he plays. He's paid a lot. A. LOT. He gots to go. Now.

Wingers : M'Bongo and Cé Ougna are two fine players. M'Bongo is really shining but he takes the spotlight off Cé Ougna who also makes consistent good performances. Really proud. M'Bongo started to get called by Congo for international matches though. I don't like to share.

Offense : Laurent, enough said. Best scorer in National so far, he scores in critical moments. Fori is a well rounded player but he makes other people shine other than himself. And Koffi....plays irregurarly. He might make the match of the year one day and the next week, play like a 2 year old. Girl. With one leg. A broken leg.

Friendlies

Luzenac 2-3 Martigues
Cé Ougna, Mignotte

Luzenac 1-1 Grenoble
Koffi

The players are worried. They talk about being raped by Lyon. I think they take this match too seriously. We can't win it after all.

Luzenac 4-0 Clairefontaine
Gégousse, Laurent (2), M'Bongo

Luzenac 1-0 Citadella
Koffi

Next up
Coupe de France 9e tour
Luzenac - Lyon

Okay, Now Lyon. Lloris. Michel Bastos. Reveillere, Cris. Gourcuff. Lisandro Lopez. Kallstrom.
Massat : Sir, the team of Lyon came in Luzenac airport. The Lyon website has put their starting 11 :

Lyon : Lloris - Dabo, Mensah, Fontaine, Cisshoko - Pied, Fofana, Gonalons, Kolodziejczak - Lacazette, Belfodil

What?? They sent the B team??? Massat, don't tell this to the players! There is something to do here!
Of course. When we face CFA team, we don't take then seriously. They're doing the same.
Well, they will regret this. Let's play our best....the players are stressed. I need to calm them down.

"PAPER BEATS ROCK"
(wrote on the tactical blackboard)

Captain Mignotte : Uh....this is our tactic today?
Agneroh : Have a seat everyone...I think there is a misunderstanding. David beating Goliath is only a myth. When we look at Coupe de France matches, it's only Ligue 1 teams. Why? BECAUSE THE TEAM LIKE US ARE CANNON FODDER. We can't beat Martigues. Why do we think we can score a goal to Lloris!?
We have the points in National to play for promotion for next part of the season, let's not forget that. Using everything tonight is not the way to go. So my order here : ENJOY!
We are facing Lyon! They won Ligue 1 7 times in the last 10 years! In a row!
.
.
(Reality seems to start to sink in...they are depressed. Now for the fun.)
.
.
Most of these players are your idols. So take their jerseys after the game for your bedroom. If you don't want to, do it anyway! Luzenac will sell them on Ebay and you will have a 5% kickback.
(feint smiles)
So this is my tactic yes Mignotte. Paper beats Rock. Because we are playing for fun tonight. And we will play in RANDOM POSITIONS! Everyone will play paper-rock-scissors, the winners get to start the match.
!
And for the lucky one who get to play the match....yellow cards count in National too, so play like with your friends. No useless fouls.
(That should end their crispation and fury)
Now, I will be playing Rock Paper Scissors too, I want to play!! Paper beats rock!
(laughter)

Luzenac (4-2-4) : Grégori - Lavie, Gégousse, Dao, Mignotte - Karaboualy, Akaza - Fori, M'Bongo - Cé Ougna, Laurent

Okay, now who wants to play in their original positions?
(every hand rises up)
Haha, I knew it. You're no fun!!! Okay, let's go have a great game.

Luzenac (4-2-4) : Grégori - Karaboualy, Dao, Mignotte, Gégousse - Lavie, Akaza - M'Bongo, Cé Ougna - Fori, Laurent


Coupe de France 9e tour
Luzenac - Olympique Lyonnais

We are getting pounded. 4 shots for them already, only 20 minutes...thank god their strikers can't aim properly. Their midfielder Gonalons has the ball...goes to the left side....cross! Countered by Dao. Karaboualy has the ball now..long pass to Fori, in front of 4 defenders....he stalls...the defender on the left jumps on him...he gives the ball to Laurent! Laurent is one on one with Lloris! He dribbles Lloris and ........SCORES!!

Luzenac 1-0 Lyon
Laurent (20)

Laurent is looking at the referee, no offside! The players can't believe it!
Lyon nearly scores right after that so the players focus back. Lyon players are playing more aggressively, this is good, we are not, the referee saw that....FOUL! M'Bongo is alone for some reason in the left wing, Mignotte shoots the free kick...M'Bongo takes the ball with an amazing reception...crosses on ground level!
Mensah controls the ball right in front of his goal! Laurent strikes the ball in he air in the net! Lloris can't do a thing!!


Luzenac 2-0 Lyon
Laurent (20)
Laurent (36)

Oh oh, players look at me. They are getting tensed. They start making fouls. ****, they know they can win this. We need to relax them in half time. I have an idea. Massat, you handle the talk!
Massat : Uh?

Massat : So, this is good, we can win th...
(me storming in the locker room)
Agneroh : AWESOME GUYS! But now they are serious. Lisandro and the others are coming, and their manager is shouting. But we will make it in the local newspaper, we rock! Keep playing like that.

That didn't work as well as I wanted to. Some players are still having fun but most of them are tensed now. Malfleury especially. Oh, he has the ball now and makes a long pass to...Gonalons! Through pass to Belfodil who scores...

Luzenac 2-1 Lyon
Laurent (20)
Laurent (36)
Belfodil (64)

I can't do anything except go back to the 4-3-3 now. Use the replacements effectively and...ouch another shot! Just above the goal..
We are getting hammered but we hold..

...TO THE END!

Luzenac 2-1 Lyon

Oh, sweet victory. We beat Lyon. LYON!!! Meeting tomorrow, the training is cancelled, we buy newspaper and enjoy some quality time.
But the newspaper of Monday talked only about "Loss of Lyon to National team" and "Lyon" this and all.

****, that is harsh for us. No credit for Luzenac. No visibility. No fame. We need to change this.

We need Ligue 2.
​

 

[Mckergan]

A quality read mate, KUTGW!