I often wonder if Stefano Pioli regrets taking the Birmingham job after I left. Taking over the reigning European Champions, a team that’d just gone a whole season unbeaten, must not have been an easy task, seeing as there was little direction for him to go but down. Still, he set Blues up for the next Champions League title, I guess, and here he is in the semi-finals with Chelsea this year, so perhaps the Italian has moved on.
With the scale of the occasion speaking for itself, the only eleven I could possibly name for our clash at Stamford Bridge is the strongest one available, with Oliver Christensen performing his usual non-Bundesliga-duties between the sticks.
We ravage Chelsea right from the start and take firm control before the opening quarter is over, courtesy of a quick-fire double from Nicolò Tresoldi and Dominik Szoboszlai. They’re all at sea and can’t cope with our movement and passing as we keep pulling them open - we are simply glorious.
Until, suddenly, we’re not.
I get a little tense once Mason Mount finds too much space in our area to convert Marc Cucurella’s low cross shortly before half-time, and I was right to as the pendulum gradually swings in our hosts’ favour. The pressure starts to build and our resistance, often so strong, simply can’t hold forever, however the manner in which it breaks is incredibly disappointing as Josip Šutalo bags a two-minute brace to turn the game completely on its head, first crashing home a near-post corner before drilling in from the edge of the area at the next corner as we fail to cope with their building momentum.
It’s been a long time since I’ve watched my team capitulate from a commanding position, and I start questioning whether my boys are capable of bouncing back after such disappointment, given how rarely they deal with this kind of scenario, so I get them to alter their shape to a 4-2-3-1 and just go for it, but time is not on our side.
Fortunately, it only takes a second to score a goal.
With our prospects looking bleak, we work the ball forward with laser precision to Cardo Makengo and the young defender finally manages to finds some space on our right to get the ball out of his feet and skid a dangerous ball through the six-yard box that Édouard Mendy can’t get a hold of, leaving the goal gaping for Ian Maatsen to tap into at the back post, pulling us level against his former club and salvaging a draw at the death.
It’ll be all square when we meet again in Germany next week.
As challenges go, facing fifth-placed RB Leipzig on the Saturday immediately after an energy-sapping trip abroad in the Champions League with a half-strength team is a rather daunting one. Zinedine Zidane’s side have been in impressive form since the turn of the year, so this’ll be an immense test of Borussia-Park’s powers as I cross my fingers and pledge to only keep one eye open throughout the 90.
We are so incredibly - yet unsurprisingly - disjointed in the first half, conspiring to concede soon after the half-hour mark when Luka Romero frees Benjamin Šeško to race through and smash past Kobel to silence our fans.
I struggle to believe the pummeling can get much worse, so I decide early to switch to a 4-3-3, though its lack of impact means we later change to a 4-2-3-1 again and, this time, things start to click. We’re moving the ball faster, we’re generating chances, and we’re seizing control, something that Leipzig can’t cope with forever and their backline finally succumbs to our pressure with just over a quarter of an hour to go when Barber pounds Maatsen’s square ball into the bottom-right corner on the counter, nabbing the equaliser we deserve and, although we can’t quite find a winner, a draw still keeps my undefeated home-record intact.
Everybody calm again? No? Not surprised, it’s only a three-day break until the stakes get even higher again.
Whilst I’ve been impressed by our ability to come from behind so often in the last few weeks, I could do without so much stress, so here’s hoping that the same lineup that started last midweek will be able to shake that habit as Chelsea visit for our second-leg face-off.
After all, it’s only the Champions League final at stake.
In stark contrast to the previous contest, the first half is fairly quiet and, whilst we definitely have the better of proceedings, the only incident of note is record-signing Michel Vermeulen breaking his toe shortly before the interval, an injury that’ll keep him out of action for the rest of the season.
Post-restart, it’s more of the same, and it looks like it’s going to take something special to really spark the final quarter of regular time into life, however it turns out to be the complete opposite. With Manu Koné harmlessly drifting across the right-hand edge of Chelsea’s area, it should be fairly straightforward to shepherd him either towards the nearby touchline or goal line, or back towards our goal. So, what does Frank Kessié decide to do? Why, he feels it entirely necessary to sprint directly into Koné, like Sonic the Hedgehog with the joystick stuck all the way to the right, handing us an incredibly cheap penalty that Tresoldi places perfectly into the bottom-left corner to tilt the balance in our favour.
Our visitors struggle to respond and I am delighted, happy to slow down the match and watch Chelsea’s hopes fade as time ebbs away - until they get one final chance, just prior to the 90th minute.
“We need to be careful here,” Zlatan Bajramović says. “This free kick could be their biggest lifeline, given how poor we’ve been at defending set pieces recently.”
“The lads will be fine, Zlats, just believe,” Kevin Nolan encourages.
“We can’t rely solely on belief, Kevin.”
“I don’t - I also rely on luck.”
“I don’t care whether it’s luck or talent, I just want this to be dealt with,” I sigh.
On the referee’s whistle, John Martin steps up and bends the free kick out on the right flank around the back of my defence and perfectly onto Kessié’s left foot. The Ivorian is delicate with his touch, but that’s all it takes for him to guide the ball past Christensen and into the bottom-right corner.
“Of course he would,” I grumble, putting my face in my hand and squeezing the skin on my forehead towards the centre with my fingertips as Kessié wheels away in celebration. “Of course he’d redeem himself, right at the end. I mean, why wouldn’t he?”
“He’s offside,” Kevin says.
“No, he’s not,” Zlatan replies.
“He definitely is,” Kevin declares.
“Looking at the replay, I can’t see how you can be so sure,” I say, gesturing to Zlatan’s tablet.
“Belief,” Kevin states.
“Belief has NO effect on this,” Zlatan groans.
“Just wait.”
The seconds are agonising, staring at the big screen with the words ’VAR check in progress’ splashed across it as Chelsea’s players retreat to their half, clearly believing the goal was entirely legitimate.
Then the moment comes.
The referee blows his whistle. He makes a rectangle with his fingers. His hand goes up - offside.
“No sodding way,” I gasp as Borussia-Park erupts, almost with as much noise as when we score a goal.
“How close was it?” Zlatan asks, only to have his question answered within moments as the image used to make the decision appears on the screen, revealing there to be mere millimetres between the tips of Kessié and Edwin Zamudio’s boots - crucially though, in our favour.
“See? Never a doubt in my mind,” Kevin says, far too coolly.
“You and your blind faith,” Zlatan laughs in disbelief.
“At this stage, Zlatan, you’ve got to admit that blind faith has done us pretty well for a long time,” I chuckle.
“Whether that moment gets us to the Champions League final or not, I’ll be in the cold, hard ground before I ever admit to such a thing.”