Forget Clough and Taylor, Its Ellis and McBriar - A Prestwich Heys story.


Jun 11, 2009
Tuesday Night 28th Febuary 1999 Walshaw v Prestwich Heys

“McBriar goes in for a late sliding tackle and Ellis is on the ground and he’s not getting up!”

2 hours Later
The news has just been announced that Ellis’ leg has been broken in two places and it is unlikely he will ever play football again. In an in interview with the local radio station McBriar states​
“two player’s careers ended tonight” and “I can’t continue to play football after ending such a fantastic players career.”​
1 day later
McBriar “how’s your leg?”​
Ellis “Been better considering I can’t kick a ball now”​
McBriar “you do know how sorry I am don’t you?”​
Ellis “yes! Now stop pestering I need to think what I’m going to do with the rest of my life!”​
10 years later
Ellis “Here Love! Have you seen the paper? ‘Local footballer Luis McBriar recovers from depression’, ******! What’s he got to be depressed about? He ended MY career!​
Sophie “yeahh and he ended his own after seeing the extent of that tackle, he retired, no need to hold a grudge you were sh*t anyway thats why he went into depression”​
Ellis “ What do you mean sh*t?!! That’s not the point!​
*Ellis looks back at paper*​
“****** ****!!!”​
Prestwich manager Mark Slater has stepped down from the club unexpectedly after 2 years in charge. Mr. Slater refused to pass comment on his resignation but has revealed he has stated to the board who he wishes to be the next manager
Ellis "might give the old team a ring, eyar love do you think I'd be a good manager?"
Sophie "well your certainly good at being a gobsh*te."​
1 week later
Reporter “Sebastian Ellis you return to your former club Prestwich Heys after 10 years out the job, but this time as a manager, how do you feel?”​
Ellis “Well Simon, can I call you Simon? I’m delighted to be back at the club, after my unplanned break from football, break being the operative word there I feel this a great move for all parties concerned”​
Reporter “You sound very confident Seb...”​
Ellis “That’s Mr. Ellis to you Simon!”​
Reporter “Mr. Ellis, you seem very confident of a man with no experience and at the moment without an assistant manager”​
Ellis “au contrer Simon! I’ve got the perfect man for the job!”​
Luis McBriar 'SNAPPING' up Prestwich deal
Former Walshaw leg breaker Luis McBriar has made a shock return to football with leg locking counterpart Sebastian Ellis as the duo set to work together for the 1st team with Ellis' former team Prestwich Heys. This comes as a shock to most considering McBriar has just returned home from rehab.
Reporter “Luis McBriar you sit here today with your new boss Sebastian Ellis, how does this make you feel?”​
McBriar “I feel... swell John, however it could be better such as my team walshaw”​
Reporter “Do you not feel that after the injury you inflicted on your boss that this is a ‘marriage made in ****’?​
McBriar“1. We’re Partners!, B. Have you seen Seb’s wife, now thats a marriage made in ****! And C. Pi*s off!​
Reporter “Mr. McBriar we are going live”​
McBriar “I don’t give a sh*t!”​
Reporter “Ok then! Well final question, where do you think you’ll finish this year?​
McBriar “I’m a football manager, not a f*cking fortune teller!”​
The origins of Prestwich Heys A.F.C. can be traced back to February 9th 1938 when a meeting was called at the Music Room of the Heys Road Boys School at which Elgar Lumsden put forward the idea of forming an Old Boys Association.

Attending that first meeting were messers Bridge, Stott, Foster, Taplin and Alan Proctor Bell, who was to become a central figure in the Club's history and whose progress he was to report on in the Prestwich Guide under the guise of 'Touchliner'.

Despite the onset of the Second World War a year later, the Association flourished under the Chairmanship of Bell, who also acted as Secretary of the football arm, known as Heys Old Boys AFC and was acknowledged as one of the region's best.

The team went on to win its first honours in 1943 in the Prestwich and Whitefield League with the Woodward Shield - a success which was repeated for the next three seasons.

The Glory Years

The team gradually progressed through the Bury Amateur League and in to the South East Lancashire League claiming Championships in 1960, 1961 and 1964. Under the guidance of Peter Gilmore in the sixties, Heys won the prestigious Lancashire Amateur Cup in 1967 followed by the one and only Lancashire Combination Grand Slam in the 1970/71 season with Heys bringing all four trophies available back to Grimshaws.

The club also changed its name in 1964 to Prestwich Heys AFC, an acknowledgement of the fame achieved by the club as they proved one of the nations top amateur clubs.

Thousands flocked to see Heys play, and beat, the likes of Sutton United, Ferryhill Athletic, Finchley and Highgate United in the FA Amateur Cup with the clubs best run taking Heys to the last 16. The victory over Sutton United in 1969 ranks as one of Heys most famous moments, attracting nationwide coverage, coming a week before their opponents were due to meet Leeds United in the FA Cup.



Jun 11, 2009
next update will be later on :)

---------- Post added at 11:45 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:22 AM ----------

Judgement Day
As the new season approaches dynamic duo Ellis and McBriar have been caught in the local limelight saying they are the new Clough and Taylor, they are quoted in this report:

Reporter: "So Mr. Ellis how do you feel about reports suggesting you and your counterpart Mr.McBriar have described yourselves as the new 'Clough and Taylor'?"

Ellis: "Nice to see you to Simon, well to say we made those comments is very perculiar because to put it simply, me and Mr. Depressant over here are better!"

McBriar: "Ey! Limp! Shush! Have you even been to training this week, considering you 'Cant kick a ball'?"

Reporter: "Alrght boys back to the questions, Mr. McBriar how do you think you'll do this season in the lucrative Manchester Football League?"

Ellis: "We'll win it!"

McBriar: Oi D*ckhead! That was my question... We'll win it!! Now if you'll excuse us John we have a rather nice Ruby Murray waiting at home!"

*Reporter looks confused*

McBriar: "Curry John! Curry!"

---------- Post added at 12:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:45 AM ----------

August Reports

Springhead 0 - 1 Prestwich (Deegan, pen) MFL
A very confident 1st game from the new side. After a wholey new team put together for the season ahead. After a nice attack from th Springhead up front pair a brilliant counter attack was made by Prestwich until new striker Ben Deegan was brought down in the box, he scored from the resulting penalty.

Prestwich 2 - 0 Walshaw(Opare, Abel) MFL
Another solid win from the side, assistant manager McBriar wasn'tat todays game for some reason or another. 2 long range shots from Opare and Abel made the result all the more sweeter as the bragging rights head over to Prestwich and Mr. Ellis.

Prestwich 1 - 0 Stockport Georgians(Messer) GIL
A Hard fought scrap in the cup for Prestwich as the only goal of the game came from new signing Gary Messer as he seized on an error from the Stockport defence.

East Manchester 1 - 2 Prestwich(Parris x 2)MFL
Back into the league with another win but the manager was displeased when he saw his side concede their 1st goal but was overjoyed with the penalty save made by keeper' Woodhouse.

Prestwich 2 - 1 Hollinwood(Opare, Lyons)
Opare made a cool finish to put Prestwich ahead but a dubious penalty was given to Hollinwood which was put away and this looked to be heading to a draw until Midfield Magician Mickey Lyons scored a 30 yard screamer to keep Prestwich 100% record going

Monthly Summary
A fantastic 1st month with the club, a 100% record in both the cup and league leaves Prestwich sitting happily at the top of the table infront of 2nd place Hindsford who they face next in the league
Top Scorer : Opare 2
Best Rating: Lyons 7.19
Management duo Ellis and McBriar had this to say..

Reporter: "Ellis and McBriar you come to the end of the August with a 100% record, how do you feel?"

Ellis: "Could be better, we conceded 2 ****** goals!!"

McBriar: "oh shut up limp! we feel fantastic John its a pleasure to be at the club but i wasn't to happy about the walshaw result"

Ellis: "because you weren't there! We were lucky to win that game! and im not a man of luck, take my leg for instance! 50/50 challenge it were! thats why i want all out attack football and to win every game!

*Reporter looks confused and just leaves*