It Never Rains In Manchester, But It Pours...

mark 19 times

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Hi, I'm Mark Fisher. I had a distinctly mediocre upbringing in Sale, Trafford, Greater Manchester. I managed to get into the local grammar school and went on to study english at Manchester Metropolitan University.

It was early May 2005, I had just finished my last exam and a sense of freedom dawned upon me. Party planning for my upcoming 21st birthday was top of my agenda. Strangely, it was this short two week spell that would shape what I was to become and this wasn't through academic achievement- far from it. In the short term I had many negatives, Michelle my long standing girlfriend had dumped me as she had to move back to Plymouth. To tell the truth I felt more down-hearted over what was going on in the footballing world. Chelsea had strolled to a league success- this was bad news. However Liverpool were the subject of most of my frustration. They were on there way to Istanbul to play AC Milan in the champions league final, undeservedly. How that Luis Garcia goal was given I still to this day do not know. I guess my outlook on life was simple, united first, everything else second it was later more eloquently put in the famous banner at Old Trafford 'United-Kids-Wife in that order'. But I had never really experienced the true lows of football, I was soon to find out that you could be worse off than having to play a qualifacation game to get into the Champions League.

The day had come, the 12th of May 2005, My 21st birthday. Many would put their 21st birthdays in the top 10 days of their lives, but for me it was a dark day, which I would rather didn't happen. I woke up, I had a few presents all of which i have now forgotten about. My phone would beep every 15 minutes or so with a 'happy birthday' message, it seemed somehow metronomical. But this time my phone was beeping more often and each beep seemed like a separate dagger to the heart. The messages were from my best mate - Liam. The first message read "Some yank wants to take over united, he's not good news' later ones explained details of a planned protest march outside Old Trafford. The doorbell rang. About 7 of my mates were waiting outside my house, not to wish me happy birthday, but telling me to come with them and attempt to save MUFC. It was an offer that I couldn't decline.

On the way i was shown this picture:
View attachment 227436
Hysterically, I asked Liam how someone who looked like that would have enough money to takeover the worlds biggest football club. He gave an abrupt two word answer with made my face crumble like a house of sand, "He doesn't"

I don't remember much about the march, but my long-standing memory of my 21st birthday was at a pizza parlour in Manchester. There were about 30 reds in there. We were discussing how we were going to move forward, when one quiet yet authoritative voice mumbled, "Why don't we make a new club?"
From that moment on the foundations for Fc United were born. View attachment 227437


6 years later and I haven't missed one game. We have made the substantial climb from the 10th tier of english football to the 7th tier. We have been managed by Karl Marginson since we were founded however he has now resigned, claiming he could not take the team any further.

While severely intoxicated, Liam suggested that I should have a crack at managing the red rebels claiming I must be an expert given the amount of time I have spent on Fifa Manager (I couldn't be arsed correcting his major fault, Fifa Manager? As If!). At the time I shrugged it off but last week I handed my application in. Due to the fact I'm a shareholder in the club, I have the right to get an interview with the chairman Andy Walsh, today is the day of the interview.

I arrived at Gigg Lane a wreck of nerves. I worked out that I must have been on the tram from Sale to Bury over 100 times, It never has been a pleasant journey! The figure of Andy Walsh greeted me and he unenthusiastically muttered "You must be Mark, take a seat in my office"

Pleasantaries were exchanged before he got down to the nitty gritty
"You're inexperienced" He stated
For all my hours in lecture halls I failed to recognise whether that was a statement or a question.
One thought crossed my mind '**** it, i won't get this job with a standard interview, I need to speak from the heart'
My now legendary speech began..."Yes i'm inexperienced but I view this as an irrelevance. I challenge you to find one candidate for this job aside from me who has a stronger love for this football club. I was in that pizza parlour in 2005, just like you. I attended our first ever match against Leigh RMI, just like you. I witnessed Stuart Rudd's overhead kick against Bacup, just like you. I was distraught when Rory Patterson left, but am still proud of what he has gone on to achieve, just like you. I'm now still in dismay over the playoff final result against Colwyn Bay, just like you."
He interrupted "Yes but so have 1000 others"
My heart skipped a beat. I just simply said "FC United was a big part of my life and at least with me as boss we would be guaranteed stabilty. I am not a person who offers false hope, I am confident I will be able to lead us to the Blue square North, And he should be confident that I would never resign like Margy did"
To my astonishment he offered me the job, he agreed to pay me £180 per week, though I think we both know that I would have offered my services for free.

My first (and probably only) venture in to football management has begun!

Feel Free to offer any advice and constructive criticism, try and remember this is my first ever story ;)
 
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Jamo456

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Next update will be on Thursday after my last exam in Physics :)
That a retake mate, doing the same :p
And a quality OP, really interesting read, looking forward to tomorrow night even more now, not just the end of my exams but the next update too
 

Tobe

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Great read mate! I'm a huge United fan and hate the Glazers so will def follow. Take a look at my story if you like feel free to comment if you like. Can't wait till tomorrow!
 

Jamo456

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Haha same :p over a year since I've done it, and can't remember a thing! :/
What did you get first time round?
 

mark 19 times

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Jun 4, 2011
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Haha same :p over a year since I've done it, and can't remember a thing! :/
What did you get first time round?
A C which is bad for me! I've got an A/A* in unit 1b and unit 2 so its pulling my mark down! there isn't actually that much stuff to cover though! what did u get first time round?
 

Jamo456

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I got a B, then an A in 1b, and find out unit 2 next week. Doing it at A Level though, so I'm going for an A overall! Need to retake my ISA as well though, that's dragging me down a bit. Sorry btw, I've turned this into an education thread :p
 

mark 19 times

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7th July 2011
Dear diary,
Considering that this is supposedly my dream job, i'm not as happy as i should be. As soon as I arrived I recieved this email from Andy Walsh stating what he expected me to acheive in the 2011/12 season.

"The Fc United board feel that the Doodson Cup is unimportant thus shall not judge you on that competition"
I felt that this was acceptable, I plan to field a reserve team in these fixtures. Does anyone care about the Doodson Sports cup?

"On the other hand, we feel that you should gain promotion from the evostik premier division into the Blue Square Bet North"
I know that this will be difficult, but believe that I am capable of doing this

Next came,"We think that you should get into the first round in the FA trophy"
I agreed, I know it will be a challenge but I think it's achievable

Here came the bombshell, "We expect you to get into the fifth round of the Budweiser FA Cup"
Unbelievable. Do they honestly expect me to be the first team from level 7 of english football to be in the fift round draw since Blyth Spartans in the 70's? The furthest we have ever got in the FA cup was last season when we reached the 2nd round! I am still raging about this but worse things were to come.

At about 2PM i called up three players and told them to come straight to my office in Moston. David Chadwick, Richard Battersby and Paul Armstrong arrived fairly promptly. I sat them down.
"Look, I'll be honest to you", I said with a sense of pity,"I am not planning to give any of you three playing time and think its best if you accept the annulment of your contracts"
They looked disgusted.
"No chance" said Chadwick "I have been captain of this club for a long time now and do not know why you are saying this to me"
The other two confirmed they would not accept my offer.
Aggressively, I rose up and stated with a sense of totalitarian control, "You have declined my offer, I am left with no choice but to offer you to clubs for free. I simply do not see a future for you three at this football club."

Looking back I think I could have handled it better. David Chadwick is still a hero of mine. I am sad to have let him down like this. He is still on my bedroom wall
View attachment 227634
One for the Memories!

31st August 2011
We have played our last pre season fixture! My attentions are now looking forward to the league opener away at Bradford PA. It should be a tough test, I can't help but wonder whether my preparation has been sufficient.
Looking back, pre season was generally a success.

Firstly, we beat our own reserve team 1-0, I was suprised that it wasn't much more than that however it was mainly bacause of many missed chances including on penalty which was skied by Matthew Wolfenden. A fairly satisfactory result.

Next came the tie away at Gainsborough Trinity, I wasn't expecting victory. With just a few seconds of extra time left I felt that the 0-0 was a pleasing result. As this thought crossed my mind a Gainsborough centre back missed an interception leaving matt wolfenden 1-on-1 with the keeper. He didn't miss. 1-0 was a fantastic result against a team who ply their trade in the superior Blue Square North!

A dissapointing 1-1 draw with Sutton Coldfield preceeded an acceptable 2-0 win away at welsh side Hollywell.
Home wins against Glentoran and Harrogate were both very pleasing, it was during these games that the team began to gel into the unconventional yet revolutionary 4-1-1-3-1 formation.

Pre season ended with an unsatisfactory performance against Annan. We lost 1-0. I grilled the team afterwards.

Transfers
The three deemed surplus to requirements at the club found clubs who wanted them. Farnborough swooped for Armstrong and Chadwick while Battersby revealed he was happy at joining Hyde due to the clubs proximity to his house. Despite our awkward meeting, I wish them three the best for the future.

Those departures allowed me more room to manoevure in the transfer market. Three players have been signed on free transfers, two of which are on 'pay as you play' deals. The most notable signing is experienced centre back Mark Greaves who has played for Hull City amongst other teams! A young Wrexham fullback Declan Walker agreed to join on loan for 3 months.

View attachment 227638

ROLL ON THE COMPETITIVE FIXTURES!
 
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