NunoPeixinho
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This is great stuff mate , keep up the good work 
James Rafetalli - The Swansong
- Thread starter AussieOchoa
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Always happy to see more written stories on the forum, rather than the picture books we are accustomed to. I am very much enjoying the story and your writing.
My only criticism so far is the font is a bit of a strain on my eyes and some points seem a tad unrealistic to me. Eg when the 7 year old girl reads the letter about the discovered body being her mother? Who does that to a child? Haha!
Please don’t take it the wrong way, just trying to be constructive.
My only criticism so far is the font is a bit of a strain on my eyes and some points seem a tad unrealistic to me. Eg when the 7 year old girl reads the letter about the discovered body being her mother? Who does that to a child? Haha!
Please don’t take it the wrong way, just trying to be constructive.
AussieOchoa
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Alright, I'll change the font up? And she's a very mature 7yr old, acts like a 18yr old. Unrealistic, but happens, so yeah.
---------- Post added at 03:17 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:13 PM ----------
A letter arrived one week later. The 7th of July, the day James had been dreading. He went to his door and got all his letters and put them on the bench. He called Lisa out to read the letter for him. Lisa rushed out, she was excited, she was adamant that James would get the job!
‘James, are you ready?’ Lisa asked.
James pleaded, ‘Please, just tell me!’
‘Alright, here goes’ Lisa announced before calling out the following, ‘Dear Mr. Rafetalli, we are very pleased to have received your application. After we rejected you last time, we told you to prove yourself, shape up and get back into a good life. You definitely have done that, and proved that you are willing to get back into football. We have reviewed your application and we are pleased to tell you that…’ Lisa paused for some intensity, ‘You are now the manager of Swansea City. Congratulations, you are to meet us at headquarters at 7:00pm tonight to discuss transfer budget, team status and several other things. You will be announced as manager tomorrow so be ready for a press conference at 9:00am. From then on you will take up the daily role of managing. Every day, from 7:00 till 10:00 you will be at this club. We know you are taking care of a little girl called Lisa, and she will be allowed to come to work with you. Good luck and we hope to see you take Swansea to success.’
‘No, you’re kidding, give me the note, let me see!’ James yelled with excitement. ‘Yes, I got the Job’ he screamed before picking up Lisa in a big bear hug. ‘Okay, so do you want to come with me to the meeting tonight?’
‘Of course James, why wouldn’t I?’ Lisa said while chuckling. ‘But we have like, half a day till then, what are we going to do?’
‘We’re going to research Swansea’s players!’
James and Lisa left headquarters in a good mood, they had received about 1.8mil to spend on new players. They hopped on FM11 when they got home and identified the positions that needed improving. They hoped to play a 4-5-1 with three CM’s and two Wingers. So the first positions they saw were the central midfield, goalkeeper, left back and centre back positions. They also needed some more cover at the back. Now they needed some real life targets, so they hopped onto FM-Base.co.uk to look at some shortlists and asked around about some future stars in real life. They got two names, Marco Verratti, Henri Lansbury.
---------- Post added at 03:17 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:13 PM ----------
Chapter 5 Pt. 2 - Application & Results
A letter arrived one week later. The 7th of July, the day James had been dreading. He went to his door and got all his letters and put them on the bench. He called Lisa out to read the letter for him. Lisa rushed out, she was excited, she was adamant that James would get the job!
‘James, are you ready?’ Lisa asked.
James pleaded, ‘Please, just tell me!’
‘Alright, here goes’ Lisa announced before calling out the following, ‘Dear Mr. Rafetalli, we are very pleased to have received your application. After we rejected you last time, we told you to prove yourself, shape up and get back into a good life. You definitely have done that, and proved that you are willing to get back into football. We have reviewed your application and we are pleased to tell you that…’ Lisa paused for some intensity, ‘You are now the manager of Swansea City. Congratulations, you are to meet us at headquarters at 7:00pm tonight to discuss transfer budget, team status and several other things. You will be announced as manager tomorrow so be ready for a press conference at 9:00am. From then on you will take up the daily role of managing. Every day, from 7:00 till 10:00 you will be at this club. We know you are taking care of a little girl called Lisa, and she will be allowed to come to work with you. Good luck and we hope to see you take Swansea to success.’
‘No, you’re kidding, give me the note, let me see!’ James yelled with excitement. ‘Yes, I got the Job’ he screamed before picking up Lisa in a big bear hug. ‘Okay, so do you want to come with me to the meeting tonight?’
‘Of course James, why wouldn’t I?’ Lisa said while chuckling. ‘But we have like, half a day till then, what are we going to do?’
‘We’re going to research Swansea’s players!’
---
James and Lisa left headquarters in a good mood, they had received about 1.8mil to spend on new players. They hopped on FM11 when they got home and identified the positions that needed improving. They hoped to play a 4-5-1 with three CM’s and two Wingers. So the first positions they saw were the central midfield, goalkeeper, left back and centre back positions. They also needed some more cover at the back. Now they needed some real life targets, so they hopped onto FM-Base.co.uk to look at some shortlists and asked around about some future stars in real life. They got two names, Marco Verratti, Henri Lansbury.
---
pistolped7
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Nice update, good luck with Swansea. Hope you get Verrati in, he's a beast.
NunoPeixinho
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good work getting the job mate, love your writing
fuelledbypassion
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good stuff mate, lansbury and veratti would be great signings
AussieOchoa
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Sorry for not updating in a long time, but I've been busy thinking, I can't really write this story in the style I am at the moment and transition it into the season, so the layout will change dramatically. Also I have completed my first season, so I will do a one season update soon (next 10 or so hours) and then will come back with regular one month updates for season two.
AussieOchoa
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Season 1 - The Championship - Swansea AFC
The Squad
Goalkeepers
- Dorus de Vries
- Yves Makabu Ma Kalambay
Defenders
- Angel Rangel
- Garry Monk
- Ashley Williams
- Alan Tate
- Albert Serran
- Neil Taylor
Midfielders
- Joe Allen
- Darren Pratley
- David Cotterill
- Nathan Dyer
- Scott Sinclair
- Cedric van der Gun
- Jordi Lopez
- Ferrie Bodde (INJ)
- Jazz Richards
- Kemy Agustein
- Mark Gower
- Andrea Orlandi
Forwards
- Stephen Dobbie
- Gorka Pintado
- Craig Beattie
Transfers
IN
Player - Fee - Positions (Natural/Accomplished) - Previous Team
Carlos De la Vega - 180k - RB/LB - Rayo
Kirk Broadfoot - 275k - CB/RB/LB - Rangers
Marco Verratti - 1.1mil - CM/AM/AML - Pescara
Henri Lansbury - Loan No Fee - CM/RM/LM - Arsenal (Parent Club)
Lee Trundle - 3k - ST - Neath
Andrea Seculin - 250k - GK - Fiorentina (January)
OUT
Player - Fee - Positions (Natural/Accomplished) - Team Moved To
Andrea Orlandi - 240k - CM/RM/LM/AM - Pescara
Neil Taylor - Loan No Fee - LB/LWB - Port Vale
Shaun MacDonald - 180k - CM/RM - Leicester
Other various low key transfers
Total loss of 1.3mil
Fixtures
View attachment 126570
View attachment 126571
View attachment 126572
View attachment 126573
Those results got us into 3rd position and into the playoffs. In the first leg we would play Cardiff of all teams. Then we got into the final against Middleborough, and Super Captain Gary Monk won the game for us in penalties. Onto the Premier League.
The Squad
Goalkeepers
- Dorus de Vries
- Yves Makabu Ma Kalambay
Defenders
- Angel Rangel
- Garry Monk
- Ashley Williams
- Alan Tate
- Albert Serran
- Neil Taylor
Midfielders
- Joe Allen
- Darren Pratley
- David Cotterill
- Nathan Dyer
- Scott Sinclair
- Cedric van der Gun
- Jordi Lopez
- Ferrie Bodde (INJ)
- Jazz Richards
- Kemy Agustein
- Mark Gower
- Andrea Orlandi
Forwards
- Stephen Dobbie
- Gorka Pintado
- Craig Beattie
Transfers
IN
Player - Fee - Positions (Natural/Accomplished) - Previous Team
Carlos De la Vega - 180k - RB/LB - Rayo
Kirk Broadfoot - 275k - CB/RB/LB - Rangers
Marco Verratti - 1.1mil - CM/AM/AML - Pescara
Henri Lansbury - Loan No Fee - CM/RM/LM - Arsenal (Parent Club)
Lee Trundle - 3k - ST - Neath
Andrea Seculin - 250k - GK - Fiorentina (January)
OUT
Player - Fee - Positions (Natural/Accomplished) - Team Moved To
Andrea Orlandi - 240k - CM/RM/LM/AM - Pescara
Neil Taylor - Loan No Fee - LB/LWB - Port Vale
Shaun MacDonald - 180k - CM/RM - Leicester
Other various low key transfers
Total loss of 1.3mil
Fixtures
View attachment 126570
View attachment 126571
View attachment 126572
View attachment 126573
Those results got us into 3rd position and into the playoffs. In the first leg we would play Cardiff of all teams. Then we got into the final against Middleborough, and Super Captain Gary Monk won the game for us in penalties. Onto the Premier League.
----
Sorry for the ****** update, but I need to get this out of the way, sorry again :S
Season 2 Updates will be better!
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