My first season in charge of Liverpool, my transfer budget will be 9.5m as I expect to qualify for the Champions League.
SKY SPORTS BREAKING NEWS
Kenny Dalglish has sensationally walked out following a heated argument with Steven Gerrard over who ate all the biscuits. This is a big surprise after it was thought that King Kenny would lead them for years. The argument came about after Dalglish filled up the changing rooms 'biscuit tin with choccie digestives in and then a day later they were all gone, Steven Gerrard was the number 1 suspect as he has a particular liking for biscuits. When Dalglish accused him Gerrard went beserk and the 2 of them had a bust up, which ended with Steven Gerrard acquiring a serious injury of an undisclosed nature. Kenny Dalglish then said that Gerrard had insulted him and his family. Steven Gerrard is currently in intensive care in the nearby hospital. Kenny Dalglish stated that it was his intention to leave the club unless Gerrard did. Jamie Carragher and Pepe Reina have issued a joint statement in support of Steven: "Our thoughts and prayers are with Stevie right now. Everyone who knows him will agree that he cannot be responsible for raiding the biscuit tin: Stevie is a custard cream man through and through - choccie digestives? He would never touch the stuff!". After issuing an ultimatum Dalglish had no choice but to leave. These are the main contenders:
Carlo Ancelotti 3/1
Avram Grant 7/1
Marcello Lippi 20/1
SKY SPORTS BREAKING NEWS
Just hours after Kenny Dalglish resigned from the managerial post at Liverpool, the club owners have signed a new contract with Felix Bailey. Many people will consider this utter shambles as Bailey is completely unknown. Others will think this will spark the start of a new era. In the mean time the press have asked Liverpool owners what possessed them to sign Felix Bailey and not Carlo Ancelotti, Avram Grant or even Marcello Lippi who were originally considered favourites for the job. The answer came as a surprise, the owners simply replying "They didn't say please". Felix Bailey has been a Liverpool fan all his life and says that he will do everything he can to ensure Liverpool qualify for the Champions League after a season without any European activities. Liverpool's pre-season includes a tour around England and the terrifying prospect of playing Barcelona. On the topic of transfers he will attempt to sign Huntelaar while Glen Johnson will be staying even though there is reported interest from Tottenham Hotspurs. This is the full interview by Sky Sports:
Interviewer: How does it feel, being manager of the club you supported as a boy?
Felix Bailey: It still hasn't really sunk in, but the main feeling is delight.
Interviewer: How do you think you will handle the footballing lifestyle after never having proper experience of it before?
Felix Bailey: I am nervous but in the end I think I will cope.
Interviewer: What are your short-term and long-term goals?
Felix Bailey: Well, I would like to have qualified for the Champions League at the end of this season. My long-term goal is for Liverpool to be contending for the title and eventually winning it.
Interviewer: Rumour has that you will sell Steven Gerrard because of your supposed obsession of custard creams, can you confirm it?
Felix Bailey: Sorry to disappoint but I will not be selling Steven Gerrard and for the record I don't have an obsession of custard creams, I am a jaffa cake sort of guy.
Interviewer: Who will you be signing in the transfer window?
Felix Bailey: Well, I would love to bring Klaas-Jan Huntelaar to Liverpool and before you ask there is interest in Glen Johnson from Tottenham and they have already offered for him, it has been rejected and so will all other offers for him.
SKY SPORTS BREAKING NEWS
Kenny Dalglish has sensationally walked out following a heated argument with Steven Gerrard over who ate all the biscuits. This is a big surprise after it was thought that King Kenny would lead them for years. The argument came about after Dalglish filled up the changing rooms 'biscuit tin with choccie digestives in and then a day later they were all gone, Steven Gerrard was the number 1 suspect as he has a particular liking for biscuits. When Dalglish accused him Gerrard went beserk and the 2 of them had a bust up, which ended with Steven Gerrard acquiring a serious injury of an undisclosed nature. Kenny Dalglish then said that Gerrard had insulted him and his family. Steven Gerrard is currently in intensive care in the nearby hospital. Kenny Dalglish stated that it was his intention to leave the club unless Gerrard did. Jamie Carragher and Pepe Reina have issued a joint statement in support of Steven: "Our thoughts and prayers are with Stevie right now. Everyone who knows him will agree that he cannot be responsible for raiding the biscuit tin: Stevie is a custard cream man through and through - choccie digestives? He would never touch the stuff!". After issuing an ultimatum Dalglish had no choice but to leave. These are the main contenders:
Carlo Ancelotti 3/1
Avram Grant 7/1
Marcello Lippi 20/1
SKY SPORTS BREAKING NEWS
Just hours after Kenny Dalglish resigned from the managerial post at Liverpool, the club owners have signed a new contract with Felix Bailey. Many people will consider this utter shambles as Bailey is completely unknown. Others will think this will spark the start of a new era. In the mean time the press have asked Liverpool owners what possessed them to sign Felix Bailey and not Carlo Ancelotti, Avram Grant or even Marcello Lippi who were originally considered favourites for the job. The answer came as a surprise, the owners simply replying "They didn't say please". Felix Bailey has been a Liverpool fan all his life and says that he will do everything he can to ensure Liverpool qualify for the Champions League after a season without any European activities. Liverpool's pre-season includes a tour around England and the terrifying prospect of playing Barcelona. On the topic of transfers he will attempt to sign Huntelaar while Glen Johnson will be staying even though there is reported interest from Tottenham Hotspurs. This is the full interview by Sky Sports:
Interviewer: How does it feel, being manager of the club you supported as a boy?
Felix Bailey: It still hasn't really sunk in, but the main feeling is delight.
Interviewer: How do you think you will handle the footballing lifestyle after never having proper experience of it before?
Felix Bailey: I am nervous but in the end I think I will cope.
Interviewer: What are your short-term and long-term goals?
Felix Bailey: Well, I would like to have qualified for the Champions League at the end of this season. My long-term goal is for Liverpool to be contending for the title and eventually winning it.
Interviewer: Rumour has that you will sell Steven Gerrard because of your supposed obsession of custard creams, can you confirm it?
Felix Bailey: Sorry to disappoint but I will not be selling Steven Gerrard and for the record I don't have an obsession of custard creams, I am a jaffa cake sort of guy.
Interviewer: Who will you be signing in the transfer window?
Felix Bailey: Well, I would love to bring Klaas-Jan Huntelaar to Liverpool and before you ask there is interest in Glen Johnson from Tottenham and they have already offered for him, it has been rejected and so will all other offers for him.
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