Football legend looks for return to game
Dai Goalhanger, one of the most controversial figures in British popular culture and one of the most gifted footballers of our time, is looking to Southern Europe in an attempt to re-invent himself in the sport.
The former Welsh international has been out of the game for two years since retiring from football after Euro 2008. In that time he has been the focus of much media attention due to his playboy lifestyle and numerous drinking binges. He is frequently in the tabloid newspapers being photographed leaving nightclubs with some of the world's most beautiful women.
Since leaving the game he has gained a lot of weight and now has a physique resembling that of a Welsh rugby prop rather than a superstar footballer.
He told the press last week:
"I would like to return to football next season. I will be looking to take a managerial role however this will not be in Britain. I would not be able to function at the top of my game if I am constantly hounded by the British press and paparazzi. I will be looking to resume my career in the sport in either Spain or Portugal, where I spent some of my career playing for Benfica and then Barcelona. I am familiar with the region and assume that this will be useful in situations such as selecting tactics, communicating with the locals (Dos cervezas por favor) and chatting to women of questionable moral virtue."
However, a source close to Goalhanger commented:
"The other reason why Dai wants to leave the UK is because he is bored with life here. He desperately misses the game. In addition, he feels that he has dated all of the UK's finest women, drank all of the UK's finest beer and partied in all of the UK's finest nighclubs. He wants a new challenge, both on the pitch and off".
It is understood that Goalhanger is currently scouring the region looking for employment. However he could of course be on one of his infamous lads holidays in Ibiza.