Manchester Is Wed - A Bawwy Kwipke Story

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Manchester United End Search For Ferguson Successor
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Manchester United have today announced who they have appointed to replace managerial legend Sir Alex Ferguson. It was never going to be an easy job, but they have today announced who it will be after weeks of searching. Their new manager will be Barry Kripke. In a press conference, Kripke said he was "Vewy delighted" to be appointed manager. The appointment comes as a surprise, as this is Kripke's first job in football management.​
 
Kripke Quick To Make Changes

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The has been plenty of outbound movement already at Manchester United. Nani, Anderson and Buttner have all been shipped out of the club. In an interview, Kripke said, "I am vewy glad to get wid of a few cwap players." It is thought Man United have a large transfer budget available, and have been linked with several players. It is thought they are deep into negotiations with Kyrigakos Papadopoulos, and have also enquired about Iker Muniain and Alan Dzagoev.​
 
Kripke Lauches Audacious Bid For Cristiano Ronaldo

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Manchester United have today launched a massive bid for former player Cristiano Ronaldo. The former Manchester United player joined Real Madrid for a world record £80 Million. It is thought United will have to more than double to record to bring him back to Old Trafford. Kripke said he is a "massive fan of Cwistiano Wonaldo" and he wants to bring him back to Manchester.
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What's the deal with the letter R? Don't you have it on your keyboard?
 
Wigan Take United To Penalties

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Wigan made Manchester United work hard to win the Community Shield, after a three all draw sent the games into penalties. United veteran Ryan Giggs put United ahead after just 4 minutes, and Carrick doubled their lead soon after. Wigan then pulled one back before half time, and leveled and then took the lead in the second half. Wigan only had to hold on for 2 more minutes, but were unable to hold on, and Giggs got his second goal of the game. It was United who came out on top in the shootout, winning 7-6.
Kripke was very critical of his side after the game. "We were Vewwwwwwy poor today. We defended tewwibly, and were lucky to win." It also was not the start Cristiano Ronaldo wanted, after he came off injured with a fractures arm.

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This sounds like it could be a fun save how much did u pay for ronny?
 
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