Mark Hoppus' Chelsea Adventure

[VictimRyan]

MARK HOPPUS IS CHELSEA MANAGER!

Name: Mark Hoppus
Age: 41
Famous for: Blink 182, +44
Born: Ridgecrest, California
Lives: Chelsea, London

SKY SPORTS have sensationally announced that Mark Hoppus, bassist and vocalist for Pop Punk legends Blink 182 will be announced as the new Chelsea FC manager. It is thought Roman Abramovich was so annoyed at losing out on the signing of Pep Guardiola, the following evening at a fundraising event at Stamford Bridge he met up with the Punk Rocker and after a few glasses of champagne offered him the position.

Waking up this morning Roman is sure to be wondering what was going through his head at the time, but the Russian Billionaire is said to be too stuck in his ways to admit his mistake and will stick with his decision, says a Chelsea insider. Mark is known to be a Chelsea fan having just took interest in the beautiful game having decided to move into the area and has appeared on SKY's Soccer AM a couple of times in the past.

Having no experience and limited knowledge of all aspects of the game he will be taking his coaching badges at the same time as managing the club. This also means the end of his ventures in the music business.
This must surely be Romans most crazy decision yet.

More to come...​

 

[VictimRyan]

Hoppus Introduced to press

Henry Winter: Good afternoon Mark. First of all, the question on everyone’s lips…….. WHY?

Mark Hoppus: HAHA well…. I guess if you’re ever offered such an amazing opportunity you cant say no right? Hey im not going to pretend Im not shocked to be here. But this will be fun for me!

Patrick Barclay: Fun? So you don’t see this as a serious job? Im sure the fans wont be too pleased with this appointment…

Mark: Im sure they will be like ‘Who’s that guy with the weird hair?’ but I will try my best to make them happy. Life’s too short to not have fun. Im sure Fergie’s still having fun, Mourinho’s always up for a laugh. Chelsea FC will be a happy club with me in charge!

Anyway this is my job now, Im getting paid to do it and to do it well…… Im sure I’ll be Up All Night before a game and thinking of All The Small Things I can do to win that match……….. HEYYYYYY I SAID I’D BE FUN! HA!

Oliver Holt: You’ve met the players this morning, you’ve met your staff, you’ve seen the facilities. Are you confident in handling it all?

Mark: Absolutely!

Oliver Holt: Realistically what are the aims Chelsea have given you for this season?

Mark: To play this game the right way, have fun on the pitch, make the fans going home happy. Im used to doing that on stage, I will try my best to do this on the football pitch. If we win a trophy this season then great!

Thanks guys see you all start of the season!​