Premiership '66

CraigSaph

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On 30th July 1966, the whole of the English nation was together in joyous celebration, as 11 mere mortals lifted up the Jules Rimet trophy for the first and only time in the countries history. On that very day, at 3pm, a young man was born into the world, so in tune with the goings on was this child he came out kicking his own balls!

"He'll make it one day will my lad" said his father with pride rolling down his cheek. The new son was Craig Saphier.

Unfortunately, in a freak donkey riding accident with his own son whilst on holiday in Blackpool at the age of 25, Saphier's career was cut short. The now ex-Liverpool and England centre back was distraught at his life being cut short and was thrown into a pit of despair, apple sourz, too much coffee and 5 a side footy with his mates on a Wednesday night.

After years of longing to get back into the game he decided enough was enough and at the ripe old age of 35 Saphier completed his UEFA level badging course and was a fully qualified, world recognised coach, with both his eyes set on management it was only a matter of time.

After sitting on the coaching staff at Liverpool for 5 years, 3 of those being Assistant Manager, it was about time he got his chance to shine. The shock resignation of Martin O'Neill at Aston Villa opened up those gates.

His manager, and friend, Rafael Benitez said of the appointment "He is going to shine"

The Daily Star said "Big **** on Page 3!"

And his mum said "That's nice, love"

First time meeting the media Saphier made it clear that he would be selling all non-English players as soon as possible and he would be attempting to construct a world beating squad made up of completely English players only. After being laughed out of the press conference Saphier gritted his teeth and became more determined to complete his goal.

My goal is to construct a team made entirely of English players. I chose villa because they have the best core selection of English players from the Prem from the off, and with money being an issue with buying English players I went with them. Updates will come along as soon as they're worthwhile.
 
Very cool.

Liked the thread mate, has a great story behind your attempt.

Good luck with it, keep us posted. :)
 
When will people learn about the dangers of riding Donkeys.
 
I too have suffed at the hooves of a donkey... sad times.
 
That's a fantastic story there mate
I'll no doubt be following this :D
 
Haha, great back story. Looking forward to this :)
 
Update #1

As the season grows ever close the sweat on Saphier's brow increase's with it, but the air con should be fixed in the office by the end of the weekend. The team has settled in nicely and the English vibe going round the setup at Aston Villa like wildfire, pictures of English icons have been plastered round the ground in an attempt for rile up the patriotism in each of the lads. Framed photos of of Winston Chruchill, Queen Victoria, Lenny Henry etc etc.

The transfers have been flowing and the door hit Laursen (£5.5m), Cuellar (loan 975k), Petrov (£7.5m) and Bannan (£750k) firmly on the ****'s on their way out. And welcomed in with smiles and Hawaiin lou necklaces are Turner (£4m), Jagielka (£6m) and Owen (£4m).

The captain's arm band jumped to the tight muscular bicep of Gareth Barry and in his absence Reo-Coker takes over the job.

Saphier has managed to get the best out of Marlon Harewood during pre-season as the mammoth striker has netted 5 in 3. A change of diet was recommended to the big man and instead of his usual 3 babies for breakfast he has cut down to 1 and a bowl of cornies.

Saphier's only real major worry is the goalkeeper issue. Stuart Taylor currently stands in between the posts, that is during the game too as he isn't the most agile out there. The debate whether or not playing Friedel is fair game as he is now an English citizen is still in the air, and the public probably won't know until the season's opener away to Hull.
 
On 30th July 1966, the whole of the English nation was together in joyous celebration, as 11 mere mortals lifted up the Jules Rimet trophy for the first and only time in the countries history. On that very day, at 3pm, a young man was born into the world, so in tune with the goings on was this child he came out kicking his own balls!

"He'll make it one day will my lad" said his father with pride rolling down his cheek. The new son was Craig Saphier.

Unfortunately, in a freak donkey riding accident with his own son whilst on holiday in Blackpool at the age of 25, Saphier's career was cut short. The now ex-Liverpool and England centre back was distraught at his life being cut short and was thrown into a pit of despair, apple sourz, too much coffee and 5 a side footy with his mates on a Wednesday night.

After years of longing to get back into the game he decided enough was enough and at the ripe old age of 35 Saphier completed his UEFA level badging course and was a fully qualified, world recognised coach, with both his eyes set on management it was only a matter of time.

After sitting on the coaching staff at Liverpool for 5 years, 3 of those being Assistant Manager, it was about time he got his chance to shine. The shock resignation of Martin O'Neill at Aston Villa opened up those gates.

His manager, and friend, Rafael Benitez said of the appointment "He is going to shine"

The Daily Star said "Big **** on Page 3!"

And his mum said "That's nice, love"

As the season grows ever close the sweat on Saphier's brow increase's with it, but the air con should be fixed in the office by the end of the weekend. The team has settled in nicely and the English vibe going round the setup at Aston Villa like wildfire, pictures of English icons have been plastered round the ground in an attempt for rile up the patriotism in each of the lads. Framed photos of of Winston Chruchill, Queen Victoria, Lenny Henry etc etc.

The transfers have been flowing and the door hit Laursen (£5.5m), Cuellar (loan 975k), Petrov (£7.5m) and Bannan (£750k) firmly on the ****'s on their way out. And welcomed in with smiles and Hawaiin lou necklaces are Turner (£4m), Jagielka (£6m) and Owen (£4m).

The captain's arm band jumped to the tight muscular bicep of Gareth Barry and in his absence Reo-Coker takes over the job.

Saphier has managed to get the best out of Marlon Harewood during pre-season as the mammoth striker has netted 5 in 3. A change of diet was recommended to the big man and instead of his usual 3 babies for breakfast he has cut down to 1 and a bowl of cornies.

quality. lenny henry is a god.
 
Lenny Henry haha... legend! :D
Very imaginative story already here, enjoyable to read though, keept it up. (Y)
 
Saphier has put the semi succesful reconstruction of Aston Villa down to the small factor of the "Aceent Barrier". The team will gell over time but right now it seems inconsistency is the name of the game. The current run of results sits as follows:

Hull 3-3 Villa
Newcastle 4-1 Villa (This one hurt)
Villa 1-1 West Ham
Villa 4-0 Napoli
Liverpool 1-1 Villa (94th minute heard from...Babel! This ******* game...)
Villa 0-1 Sheff Utd (Reserves. Not bothered in slightest)
Villa 3-1 Blackburn
Napoli 1-0 Villa
Fulham 1-2 Villa
Villa 1-1 Tottenham

Michael Owen remains to get on the score sheet, that is because he remains to get off the medics table, injuring himself 3 minutes into his debut appearance and out for 6 more weeks. He is packaged more safely than an ebay item at the minute.

Harewood continues a rich vein of form for his own personal ability as he tallies up 2 in 3 starts and 2 sub showings. Still, its 2 more than Heskey has had and yet, despite being injured, Agbonlahor leads the charts with 8 in 10.

Turner has proven to be a duff buy as he managed back to back 5 ratings and hit the bench hard, Jagielka the complete opposite and teaming up with Curtis Davies at the back nicely. After 3 awful games in the goal Taylor was put back in his spot on the bench and the now British citizenized Freidel was put right back in sticks. He has simply been asked to put on a less American accent and eat more roast dinners in order to become the English keeper Saphier wants to complete his side. The summer is looking most likely for this to happen with the usual/only English keepers all being mentioned (Kirkland, Green, Foster, Hart and Schmeichel)
 
Saphier has put the semi succesful reconstruction of Aston Villa down to the small factor of the "Aceent Barrier". The team will gell over time but right now it seems inconsistency is the name of the game. The current run of results sits as follows:

Hull 3-3 Villa
Newcastle 4-1 Villa (This one hurt)
Villa 1-1 West Ham
Villa 4-0 Napoli
Liverpool 1-1 Villa (94th minute heard from...Babel! This ******* game...)
Villa 0-1 Sheff Utd (Reserves. Not bothered in slightest)
Villa 3-1 Blackburn
Napoli 1-0 Villa
Fulham 1-2 Villa
Villa 1-1 Tottenham

Michael Owen remains to get on the score sheet, that is because he remains to get off the medics table, injuring himself 3 minutes into his debut appearance and out for 6 more weeks. He is packaged more safely than an ebay item at the minute.

Harewood continues a rich vein of form for his own personal ability as he tallies up 2 in 3 starts and 2 sub showings. Still, its 2 more than Heskey has had and yet, despite being injured, Agbonlahor leads the charts with 8 in 10.

Turner has proven to be a duff buy as he managed back to back 5 ratings and hit the bench hard, Jagielka the complete opposite and teaming up with Curtis Davies at the back nicely. After 3 awful games in the goal Taylor was put back in his spot on the bench and the now British citizenized Freidel was put right back in sticks. He has simply been asked to put on a less American accent and eat more roast dinners in order to become the English keeper Saphier wants to complete his side. The summer is looking most likely for this to happen with the usual/only English keepers all being mentioned (Kirkland, Green, Foster, Hart and Schmeichel)

if i'd read this a few months ago i would have made a joke but in light of recent events i will not.

it looks like my michael owen mocking days are over.:'(
 
As a Liverpool fan I resent the little Welsh ***** more than anyone. He ****** over the club who gave him everything for personal greed and gain. Priceless little ****.

But this being a game an all I can allow myself to buy him.
 
Aye he was born in Chester, which is very arguably Welsh, so by all rights he is Welsh. It is just stick he got from Everton fans when he was a Liverpool player. But now the tables have turned!!! Muahahaha
 
Aye he was born in Chester, which is very arguably Welsh, so by all rights he is Welsh. It is just stick he got from Everton fans when he was a Liverpool player. But now the tables have turned!!! Muahahaha

he lives in wales as well
 
Saphier has told his team that if they do not book their ideas up the unthinkable might have to happen and he will starting signing some Scots in! His Villa side are currently stuck in 7th spot after 25 games and don't look like setting anything alight any time soon. The only fire on the horizon is the one needing to be lit under their ****'s!

Some memorable results include NONE! And the only wins come against the **** and ***** of the Premier league. A 1-0 home win against a second string Liverpool is the highest boast to date, with cup exits coming on all fronts the next Euro cup tie vs Wolfsburg doesn't hold much promise.

In December, Saphier was stunned to find chairman Randy Lerner stood in his office with a big sack labelled 'swag, it soon became clear the Yank had come into some serious money and was giving it to Saphier to spend on what he liked, preferably some new players. And that he did, in came Parker (£5.75m), D Bent (£7m), Beevers (£1.6m), Cohen (£2.3m), Loach (£1m), D Sturridge (£2m), Upson (£8m) & Foster (£250k loan) and out went Bouma (£3.4m) to Sunderland.

To sum up this update : I'm doing farking *****!
 
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