Railway To Heaven - A Crewe Alexandra Success Story

[SKFootyMan]

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I felt my phone ring in my pocket, but at first I ignored it. It was six o’clock at night, and I was in the middle of my wife’s Spag Bol. Now, I don’t normally say this, but tonight was the first time her cooking made me feel sick. Yes, I had only returned an hour earlier from France, where I had gone to watch the Catalans-Wigan game, but I felt as though the French bread I had had may have been a bit grubby. It was nice at the time, but I could definitely feel the after effects kicking in. When my phone rang for the second time, I apologized to my wife, and excused myself to the bedroom, where I angrily pulled the phone from my pocket, and answered.

“Hello?”
“Hello, is this Joshua Watkins?” said a bright female voice.
“Yes, you’ve reached me, erm, I was in the middle of my te-“
“I’m sorry but we really need to speak to you. I am the secretary of Crewe Alexandra and we need you Mr Watkins.”
“What for? I hung up my boots three years ago and said I would never play again, thank you very much.”
“I understand, but we need you to manage our side. Our chairman asked for you specifically.”
I sat down on the bed, with an eyebrow raised, thinking that this was some sort of prank call. I may have gotten my coaching badges a couple of years ago, but this was pushing it. Was there someone who leaked it?
“Manage? As in coaching the kids, because I don’t do that. I did it for Chester and one of the kids was sick on my tracksuit.”
“No,” she said with a chuckle, “I mean the first team; our current manager is resigning in the morning.”
“So let me get this straight. You want me, a 43 year old man, to come out of retirement, to manage my boyhood team, and lead them to glory?”
“Yes, I think that’s it.” She said.
“Err… I’ll check with my wif…… you know what, it’s my life. Sure, I’ll do it.”

I arrived at the secret location for a secret meeting with a secret man, who was going to give me a secret job. Did I mention it was a secret? Anyway, with a bottle of water in my hand, I went up to the Crewe chairman, and in about two hours, a deal was agreed.

Just a couple of minutes after I left the location, I was approached by a journalist who asked me a few questions about the interview. Since the story was being released as soon as possible on the website, I felt it wouldn’t do harm to respond to the journalist.

The next morning, with a cup of tea and a bowl of cereal in front of me, I read the latest edition of ‘The Cheshire Paper’ and sure enough, the story was front and centre. However, I wasn’t to be punished, as the club wanted to promote me as the newest boss of Crewe Alexandra.
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The deal was in place, all that was needed to do was to be the best Crewe manager that there ever was! Oh, and maybe win some games on the way there as well.

 

[SKFootyMan]

Railway To Heaven - A Crewe Alexandra Success Story - Part Two

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I never really introduced myself, did I? My name is Joshua Watkins, a 42 year old man with three beautiful children. Two sons and a daughter, if you’re wondering. I used to be a professional footballer, and took part in the Blackburn 1995 Premier Leage win. I can’t brag, because I only played two games, one start and one substitute. I never really hit the big time after that, and started to slip down the divisons. I would go on and on about my winners medal to my friends, but they would always put down my claim to fame.

I was sold that summer, and retired as a player-coach of local Evo-Stik Premier League side Nantwich Town. I can tell you though, I only coached once, and that was with kids from Chester. God, I can’t even go there anymore, only to see my cousin.

As a devoted Wigan Warriors supporter, I normally travel to each and every one of their games, and have been to the last two Grand Finals. One against Warrington Wolves and one against St. Helens.

I have a strange addiction to wrestling, an addiction that is often countered by my friends, with the attack “It’s fake.”

As a former footballer, it can’t go one day where I’m looking at yoghurts for my kids pack lunches, and someone comes up to me and asks for a photo or something signed.

The one thing though, that happens year after year, the one addiction that keeps me going, is Championship Manager. I know they’ve changed the name, I just can’t be arsed to rename it. From the early days of Tonton Zola Moukato and Cherno Samba to the recent gems like Freddy Adu and Eder Alverez Balanta, it’s worrying that I won’t have time to play the game during my new job. CM15 mate? May as well chuck it away.

However, I think that maybe, just maybe, with the right amount of luck, hard work and perseverance, we might just be able to get our act together.

In the space of a month, three different news stories dominate the town. Louis Van Gaal, Germany, and my arrival. With the new season on the horizon, I can only concentrate on the latter, as it is the most important.
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6th​ July, a night that was my last as a normal human, jobless, unemployed, and no weight on my shoulders. And it was incredible. My wife and I enjoyed a three-course meal in Nantwich, came home for drinks, and fell asleep during Ross’ wedding to Emily. The next day, it was back to work. Back to football.

The next morning, as my alarm rang, my tracksuit that was once my best friend hung with an evil stare that glared through my body. It stood there, ready to torment me with 9-5 hours and laughing as I went through the hard times of managing a football club. Instead, I had the last laugh. Why? I don’t take control of training. Hold on, hold on. I discussed it all with Neil Baker, my assistant manager, during the meeting we had with John Bowler, the chairman. My car was loaded, and my tie was pulled, with the smart club logo on the bottom. I entered my Audi, and drove the short trip to Reasheath, as I sorted my office before the players got here for 8.45am.

I sat down in my chair, and opened my new silver laptop. A television, radio, and mini-kitchen were the only things other than my ‘interview area’ of desk and chairs.

The pitch outside was looking green as ever, and as the lads warmed up for their first pre-season training session, I looked at the mountain that was inevitably going to be coming, looked it square in the face, and smiled.