Stan the Man! Kroenke's Gunner Glory

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I sat there on the bench absolutely crushing my water bottle in my hand.

Norwich's Steve Morison (who?!) had just latched onto a through ball and flashed it across Szczensy and into the goal. It would be a draw. In the 85th minute of our last home match and the season had just collapsed. Champions League ... *poof*. Sixty seven points (not even two a match) for a team that historically should still be in for the title.

I glanced down the bench to judge the manager's reaction and...

...the phone rang.

I sat up in bed. It was 3:07 in the morning in Portland, Oregon. I was awash in sweat and the phone was ringing.

"Hey Raghead...it's John." My agent.

"Do you have any clue what time it is?"

"Time for you to get up! Wenger just quit! You're going to London."

My sweat turned cold.
 
Across the Pond

This plane ride couldn't be any longer. I wasn't expecting to go back into football management. An interview at Arsenal? Ragnar Danneskjold succeeding Arsene Wenger? Out of the question.

My football career was good but not that remarkable. A few years at Charleroi. Went to Grampus (and played for the Professor) after the 1994 World Cup. Seventy-one caps. Nine goals... three with my feet! Provided the assist for "Big Ern" Stewart against Columbia. Unfortunately the only thing anyone remembers about that game is the ending for poor Andres Escobar after his own goal. Awful. The rest of my national team career was lost behind Alexi Lalas' hair.

I bounced around Europe as a Coach and Assistant Manager (Bradford) for a few years before taking the Head Coach job at UC Santa Barbara. That went well. Two championship games and one Division 1 title.

After the win in 2006 I took a job with Nike. Player development programs around the world. Brazil, Russia, Germany, and a few others. It was a fit. I loved traveling and helping young coaches and players trying to live their dreams. I got to meet everybody. Mr. Kroenke was on the list. I just never expected to be on his list!

I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that my name would be mentioned. I have met or worked for/with all of the key individuals. I wouldn't have been shocked to have a lower league team call me up but that wasn't more than a passing thought... Nike pays too well to even consider stepping back into management. Arsenal is quite obviously different.

I'm used to dealing with people like Stan Kroenke over issues like youth academies and overseas recruitment. (It might seem wrong, but all the corporate gear outfits do try to find and place kids at the big clubs so we can profit from their shirt sales later.) Calling the shots over a Premier League and Champions League campaign is a different beast. As intimidating as it seems, this chance interview is becoming an opportunity that I want.

Do I really have a shot at this?

If Arsene Wenger quit this job, how bad is the situation?

Having a season unravel and finding myself on a plane back to the States in less than year would be crushing. That plane ride might be longer than this one.
 
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Stan the (Money) Man

“...so basically what it came down to was money. After the stick he got at the end of last year, Arsene just couldn't pass up the chance to go to PSG. They're going to finish the upgrades to Parc du Princes next summer... almost 75,000 seats. The transfer kitty will be almost bottomless for him. I think he saw it as a way to show everyone what he could do. He'll certainly take all that money and try to shove it right back up Man City's shady parts. I was just too slow to break out my own check book. I wish I could have kept him.”

“Mr. Kroenke, I appreciate you being candid with me. What I need to know if I'm going to do this is how I'll be expected to push forward when Arsene Wenger thought he couldn't? This isn't going to be easy. It will take a lot of support, and by that I mean money, if you don't want this club to be scrapping for just fourth every year. Fabregas, Nasri and Clichy are all big losses. The midfield is gutted and there's no one to rotate on defense. With Wilshire hurt the only big offensive weapons left are Walcott and Van Persie...”

“Uh, Ragnar... the lawyers are in the other conference room finalizing RvP's sale to Real Madrid.”

Silence. Crickets. This is more of a project than I thought.

“You will have all of the funds to invest. There was a little over £50 million available before the sales. The final total will be about £143 million.”

“That’s a good start Mr. Kroenke, but you still have a cash flow problem. Man City has dumped about £1 billion into their program and they seem to be bleeding financially.”

“I know. I’m going to wipe out the club’s debts. All the cash that would have gone to the loans will go in to our coffers. It meets the Financial Fair Play rules and should put us closer to Man U and City.”

“You’re really going to do that? How?”

“Mr. Danneskjold, my wife owns WalMart.”
 
Brass

“…so in short, I’m honored to take the helm from my former manager. I look forward to speaking with you again soon and I hope that I will continue to have that privilege for quite some time.”

Reporter (shouted): “Ragnar, with all the upheaval at the club how much do you think you can accomplish this year?”

Danneskjold: “Arsenal FC has always had high expectations and that isn’t going to change. We have a string of Champions League appearances going and maintaining that needs to be our target. Automatic qualification for the Group Stages is critical for our reputation and recruitment. While placing third may be challenging, it has to be our goal this season…”

Kroenke: “Ragnar is being too modest. This club will be right there for the title this year. The fans are ready and certainly deserve to see their team in the mix at the end. I think we have hired a manager who has that capability and I expect him to win!”

{Pandemonium ensues…}

Danneskjold: “They really call you Silent Stan?”

Kroenke: “Not any more, my friend. Not any more.”

Well the boss has brass ones. Fair enough. Unfortunately, the pair just placed on the media room podium were mine.
 
Seven Two Offsuit

It is all there on the desk. Arsene Wenger’s transfer notes. Wow. These plans aren’t what fans or media would expect.

We’ll follow through on three of the youngsters:

Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, Carl Jenkinson, and Joel Campbell all look good. The Ox might even prove a bargain at £12 million a few years down the road.


The rest are a mixed bag:

Andre Santos (Fenerbahce): Looks like the older brother of Pedro Botelho and I’m not sure Botelho will stay. Verdict: No.

Mikel Arteta (Everton): Not a bad option. A slick passer who would fill a need in midfield. Definitely a good character to have in the dressing room. Might be a little old to bring on. Two or three years of legs left? Verdict: Tempting but no.

Gervinho (Lille): Quick, agile, good with the ball at his feet. Definitely a showman. I’ll consider this one. Worth hearing the scout’s opinion and watching some film. Verdict: Maybe. Shortlisted.

Per Mertesacker (Bremen): Experienced and skilled. Also immobile. The phrase “trundling around like a siege tower” comes to mind. Andy Carroll’s German defensive counterpart? Verdict: No.

Chu-Young Park (Monaco): A solid backup type player. No real downside but not the upside I’m looking for. With the funds I have available I want a complete package. Vela, Chamakh and Bendtner can fill the bit roles. Verdict: No.

The scouts are going to be busy. With this lot I might as well have bought a round trip ticket.

All of the loan moves need to be scrapped as well. I may send some bodies elsewhere for experience but that's a bridge to be crossed later.

The good news is that I can make this my team.
 
Ukraine Have Him

The fans were eager for something before the press conference. Now they are rabid. Every die-hard who has thought we deserved the last seven titles seems to feel we have our hands on this one already.

The media just plays along. If I can back up Mr. Kroenke’s bluster it will be a great story. If I come flaming out of the sky like a stricken jet fighter… so much the better for them. Wreckage is always newsworthy.

I need a signing. Something. Anything to take people’s mind off the table. If I can’t divert the attention a bit the Supporter’s Trust will be expecting me to pick up 3.5 points a fixture.

“Victor Golovan please. Ragnar Danneskjold here.”

“Ragnar! Long time!”

“Victor, you knew this call was coming the moment my appointment hit the news.”

“Ah, yes… I’m surprised it took you two days. You’re bidding against Milan, Benefica, and your old boss Arsene. Shaktar must be very happy.”

I should have known. Victor is hard enough to deal with when you are his only fish. There is no telling how much I will have to pay Fernandinho to get him on board.
 
We're Number...5?!

“The way I see it we are fifth or sixth in terms of ability. We can’t touch either flavor of Manchester. Chelsea and Liverpool are getting old but they still have quality. The really bad news is that Harry’s boys are better than ours.”

“The wage structure is gone. I can’t bring in the bodies I want and not pay them. Right now there are teams in every big league that will out spend us. I’m going to have to crack into the transfer money to make our payroll more attractive.”

“Spend the pot where you want, Ragnar. Who are you going to target? Hazard? Gotze?”

“Mr. Kroenke, I can’t afford either one. I’ve need a striker and at least two wingers. Midfield is about three talented bodies short. We need a backup for Sagna and a replacement for Clichy. Another center back would help as well.”

“I’ve got a bid in for Fernandinho from Shaktar and I think I can get Leighton Baines or Aly Cissokho. The rest I’m still working on.”

“I just got off the phone with Terry McDermott from Huddersfield. He should be here in a day or two to fill the Assistant spot on the staff.”

“Ragnar, what is it going to take to pull this off?”

“Well, sir… I think I can get enough depth on the squad to get us through the season without running out of gas. Injuries are beyond our control but I’m certainly aware of the history of every player we’re looking at. There are a couple of players we can target that have potential name value but we won’t be buying anyone whose brand can replace Cesc. Results? I’ll give you a run down in a few days but it will take consistency and luck. Our away form has to sparkle and we’ve got to gel a basically new team in record time. It’s a tall order.”

(pause)

“Mr. Kroenke, I’m not going to be every other manager and say I need time. What I need is trust. Trust that I can put together an unusual combination of men and make them believe in each other. The fans are going to groan over a few selections. Every popular choice I don’t make will be for a specific reason. Hire someone else to sell shirts. You’ve told me to win and that is all I have time for.”
 
Grumpy Old Men

The list Terry put in front of me was not what I expected.

“…Terry, you’re right.”

“That’s because you’re thinking like the man in front of the cameras. Launch your scouts on the bodies we know. Wasting time combing through video is not what you should be doing. We need a solid, respectable bunch here to handle the lads when they do show up. If we don’t rebuild the coaching staff in a hurry the boys will just end up playing table tennis in the break room until August!”

Coaches, trainers, physios and a few more scouts. Time to build a staff. Leave it to an old pro like Terry McDermott to have a list of the best ready too.

For the keepers, Lee Smelt and Tony Roberts leave. Ray Clemence and a youngster, Andy Fairman are offered slots. Gerry Peyton, our current lead, stays.

Current Physio Colin Lewin will be joined by his brother Gary Lewin and Steve Whitehall.

Dave Watson (Wigan) comes in to coach Tactics with Stewart Houston stepping up from the scouting staff in the same role for the First Team.

Italian Valter di Salvo deals with First Team Ball Control with countryman Massimo Neri handling Shooting for the First Team.

Mark Chamberlain comes as a Ball Control coach, joining his son Alex.

Rodolfo Borrell makes the journey down from Liverpool to oversee finishing training club wide. This was an expensive hire but Terry and I agreed that there was no better coach in this role anywhere. At 40 years young this choice should pay off over time.

Mark Bowen (Fulham) added in primarily Defensive duties. Massimo Bonnini fills the same role at a First Team level.

Paul Winsper and Adie Stovell can handle Fitness.

Boro Primorac stays on as an Attacking coach for the First Team. He’s too expensive to let go. Nick Banfield also stays.

Franco Baldini is the last addition as a First Team coach. Jack of all trades.
 
Leighton't Talent

“So…Lahm is too expensive and as much as I like Balzaretti, I can’t see us getting four seasons out of him. That leaves us with Baines and Cissokho.”

Dilemma. Aly Cissokho would only cost me about £10M. Leighton Baines is £15M. At two years older, I can’t spread that extra cost over eight years like I can with Aly.

From open play these two players are similar. Baines may have a slight edge with the ability to dribble and drift up the field very effectively.

Set pieces definitely give Baines the edge with a vicious free kick and steady contributions from corners.

If I didn’t have to win now I might make a different choice. With pressure to perform and many unknowns in other areas of the team…

“Terry, let’s get Everton on the phone.”
 
Failure to Plan...

“I honestly can’t build a scenario that assures us of the title. We will fight for it but things have to fall our way.”

“OK, Ragnar. What are we looking at?”

“Assume we close the talent gap with Tottenham. Chelsea and Liverpool are likely to tail off due to age and injury somewhere in the season. From City and Man Utd we need to pick up 4 points total. We’ll need at least 3 points each against Tottenham, Liverpool and Chelsea. For the rest of the league we need to win at home and win or draw on the road. Here’s what the table will look like. The number on the right tells you how many points I need to pick up from each team.”

I tossed this note across the desk to Mr. Kroenke and waited.

1. Man City -2
2. Man Utd -2
3. Arsenal
4. Tottenham -3
5. Chelsea -3
6. Liverpool -3
7. Newcastle -4
8. Everton -4
9. Aston Villa -4
10. Fulham -4
11. Sunderland -4
12. Stoke -4
13. Blackburn -4
14. West Brom -4
15. Swansea -4
16. Bolton -6
17. Wolves -6
18. Norwich -6
19. QPR -6
20. Wigan -6

“79 points?”

“Yes, sir. If we don’t drop needless points to mid-table and bottom sides, just two or three extra wins put us in frame.”

“Consistency?”

“…with depth and durability to provide it. This is where transfer discipline will pay off. When Hazard, Goetze, Neymar and Hulk go to our closest rivals we have to stick to our plan. If we don’t, one or two injuries could kill us. That said I am going to have to spend every penny.”
 
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Damage or Damaged

Steve Rowley: “Tevez might be available.”

Me: “Love his work rate but he’s worth more to us wearing blue. Here’s the scenario: Balotelli scores against us… 13th​ minute. He pulls up his shirt. T-shirt says ‘My Chihuahua can score too!’. Carlos flips out and starts beating Mario senseless before he reaches the corner flag. Howard Webb sends them both off. No other choice. We are down 1-0 but Edin Dzeko will be too busy picking splinters out of his shorts to be much of a threat in a 3-4-1.”

{chuckles}

Giles Grimandi: “Well... Rossi just doesn’t seem like an Arsenal player.”

Sandro Orlandelli: “Vagner Love?”

Me: “I think we need more of a target guy. I don’t remember him being much in the air.”

Orlandelli: “Got it. Can’t jump. Not feeling the love.”

Francis Cagigao: “With Robin in Madrid they might part with Benzema or Higuain.”

Me: “We can’t afford their wage demands. We’d have to pay almost £150,000 a week on top of the fee. I think Real would still want more than £35 million for either.”

Rowley: “That leaves Fernando Llorente, Edinson Cavani and Leandro Damiao.”

Martin Keown: “Llorente is certainly a target. A good leader too. His £31M release clause seems too low.”

Rowley: “Cavani is a horse. He’s got speed too. I think he’s under £30M. That's a better deal.”

Orlandelli: “Leandro is good, but I think he needs another year or two. I really want to bring him on but Cavani is worth five more goals at least.”

Me: “Marketing will like this decision.”
 
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Andre wants what?!

Defense. Not the brand we need to learn on the field. Time for Arsenal to act to keep our players from trading red shirts for light blue.

Bacary Sagna and Alex Song get offers more in line with their talents.

Thomas Vermaelen draws a salary more consistent with what a Captain should make. He’ll be one in a few weeks.

Theo Walcott gets a renewal and a wage that will keep him close to home. Wojciech Szczesny will earn a proper paycheck as well.

Next on the list… Andrey Arshavin.

“Andrey won’t be willing to sign for less than £125,000 a week. We’ll also need a guarantee that he earns at least as much as any other player at the club.”

“Alexandr, before I answer that, I have to know… has Andrey been hanging around with Nicklas Bendtner or do we need to drug test him more often?”

I was not surprised when Alexandr Gerasimov hung up the phone. I am surprised I didn’t do it first.

Tranfer Listing for the Smiling Assassin. We’ll see if his value has gone up on down since he arrived in London.
 
I'm really enjoying this story, keep it up! its a bit confusing the way you format it though, but i really like the detail you go into, i cant wait for the season to start
 
I don't know what it is, but I love this story! Keep it up.
 
Tower Defense

Me: “I want someone who can play now but who I don’t have to play now.”

Steve Rowley: “That leaves Neven Subotic, Mapou Yanga Mbiwa, Nicolas Otamendi and… Ryan Shawcross.”

Terry McDermott: “The media pundits are going to turn on you if you keep choosing players who aren’t on their list.”

Me: “I don’t care who Goal.com wants on the team. I just wish they wouldn’t stir up the fans with all of these stories out of thin air.”

McDermott: “They get more readership from being wrong than being right. They can spin a wrong report. Correct is boring.”

The search for a central defender was actually straight forward. The media had long tied us to Chris Samba, Phil Jagielka, Gary Cahill and Jan Vertonghen. Every one of them a good player and worthy starter with Samba among the world's best. That was the problem. I like the Vermaelen/Koscielny pairing and don’t want to break it up. Johan Djourou is very loyal and doesn’t seem to mind the bit role. I need another Djourou with a little more upside.

Me: “I’m surprised to even hear Shawcross’ name. He absolutely will Captain a big side but we can’t have him here. That would snap Ramsey’s psyche as badly as Ryan snapped his leg. I need Aaron mentally intact and committed to the club.”

Rowley: “That makes it easier. We are passing on a potential star in Shawcross though.”

McDermott: “Mbiwa is just a touch rough for my taste. Otamendi is Subotic minus the offensive ability. He has a reasonable release clause. He’ll be content to rotate in for a couple of years. Subotic might want to start.”

Nicolas Otamendi to Arsenal for £13 million.
 
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Who dressed me this way?

The first two weeks of the job have been a blur. I can’t remember any specifics from the cab rides to the hotel. I’m not even sure I went there on a few nights. It is mid-June and the team is starting to take shape.

Leighton Baines (£15.25M) is getting to know his new teammates. Fernandinho’s (£13M) Work Permit hearing is tomorrow. We have deals agreed for Edinson Cavani (£28.5M) and Nicolas Otamendi (£13M). From a £143M transfer kitty I was down to £73.25M with £10M of that earmarked to raise the wage ceiling by £200K/week.

Terry McDermott (Assistant Manager): “We seriously need to get some wingers in, boss. Just over three weeks to the friendlies.”

The team chart looked like this:

First Team
ST: Edinson Cavani
AMR: Theo Walcott
AML: ???
MCL: Fernandinho
MCR: ???
DMC: Alex Song
DR: Bacary Sagna
DCR: Laurent Koscielny
DCL: Thomas Vermaelen
DL: Leighton Baines
GK: Wojciech Szczensy

Cup Team
STR: Carlos Vela
STL: Marouane Chamakh
AMR: ???
AML: ???
MCL: Aaron Ramsey
MCR: ???
DR: ???
DCR: Johan Djourou
DCL: Nicolas Otamendi
DL: Kieran Gibbs
GK: Lukasz Fabianski

Notable Others
Jack Wilshire (injured)
Abou Diaby (injured)
Nicklas Bendtner (world’s BEST benchwarmer)
Denilson (MC)
Vito Mannone (3rd​ GK)
Alex Chamberlain (future AMR)
Ryo Miyaichi (future AML)
Kyle Bartley (future DC)

Potential Transfers
Andrey Arshavin
Sebastian Squillaci
Tomas Rosicky
Manuel Almunia
Henri Lansbury
Francis Coquelin
Pedro Botelho

“Terry, we can get one more big player in and still fill the holes. Get the WarRoom together and lets get back to work.”
 
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