Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.
I opened my eyes and looked around. I was in a hospital. Why was I in a hospital? How did I get here. I thought back to the previous day. I couldn't remember. I thought back to the previous week, month, year, my whole life. Nothing. I didn't even know who I was, what I looked like, how old I was. The doctors were going to notice that I was awake at some point, so I decided to check some things.
"Am I a man? Yes."
"Am I bald? No. Thank god."
"Am I young? Either that or I moisturise really well. Hey, I remember humour. That's good."
I shifted in the bed slightly, no obvious injury. I sat up, and still nothing. I heard footsteps and stared at the door, expectantly. It came open.
"This is the patient who was f... oh, you're awake." Said a man wearing what a doctor wears. This being a hospital, I took a wild stab at him being a doctor.
"Yes. Who am I?" I asked.
"We... erm, we don't... know. You were found in a deep state of unconsciousness, under a tree in Hyde Park." Hyde Park, so I'm in London. That's good, I like London. Probably. "We DNA tested you, but there no matches. You are entirely unexplained." I don't think I like being unexplained. I noticed that next to the doctor was a woman in her early 20s. She had a name tag saying "Visitor: Helen".
At my look of surprise at bringing a visitor to see patients, the doctor explained who she was. "She's a government inspector."
She was drop dead gorgeous, is what she was. She had long flowing blonde hair, and a warm face. It didn't look like she was wearing much make up, and she still looked stunning, and natural at the same time. I liked it. I realised I was staring and stopped. The Doctor continued.
"Well, now you're awake I'll get another doctor to come over and fill you in, I've got to take Helen around the rest of the hospital. Goodbye." Lucky ******, I thought.
"See ya doc, bye Helen".
"Bye".
I dreamt, that night, of Helen. I don't know what it was, but I felt something about her. The next day, I carried on trying to remember things about my past. All of a sudden, three things popped into my head.
The first was a young girl, about 5 opening a present and smiling. She took a ball of the box, and grinned.
The next a match of football being played, the ball being passed to me and me burying it in the top right hand corner, and celebrations being shared by thousands of people.
The third was flames and screaming.
Unnerved by this, I turned the TV on. I was glad to see that there was football on the TV. The screen told me it was a Premier League fixture between Chelsea and Portsmouth, and Chelsea were 3-0 up. No, sorry, 4-0. A few minutes later, the final whistle went. Chelsea had crushed Portsmouth, under new manager Felipe Scolari. Scolari was destined to succeed, I knew it.
I knew from my memories that I lived football, scoring in front of thousands, and a girl grinning with a ball. Maybe she was a daughter or something. I thought again about the memory of the girl, and saw on the ball, a crest. A green shield with a rampant bear on it. It had the words Central London Wonders. My team. It came back a bit more. Headlines saying "Huge signing for the Wonders *** joins team" *** represented my name there. I couldn't remember it. For all I thought about it, nothing came to mind.
I'd found out it was August 2008. That sounded about right. Tests had told me I was 37 years old. They had also said that I was free to go. I walked out. Football is my calling. I just had to choose a name.
I was given a wallet that was found on me. There were a few cards, and at least £1500 cash, all wadded in. I decided to buy a laptop and book myself for a few nights in a dirt cheap hotel for a few nights, so I could find my bank balance, a new home, etc.
However, the first thing I did was search for "Central London Wonders". They're a big team, I'll find 'em easy, and I'll find my name. When the page finally loaded, what it said shocked me
"Your search - Central London Wonders - did not match any documents".
"WHAT?" I shouted at the screen. I decided to search for the Premier League. All of the teams there I recognised except for one. Who the **** are West Ham United? I thought. I looked them up, and the internet told me about how "West Ham United won the world cup in '66." But that was the Wonders.
I'm dreaming obviously.I though to myself. I went onto the West Ham Wikipedia page. It told me that West Ham play their games at the Boleyn Ground. But that's us.
This was too confusing. I went on BBC Sport website and it told me that Watford had just sacked their assistant manager. My future is in football. I'm too old to play. Why don't I apply?
That was the start of my footballing adventure in my dreams.
---------- Post added at 01:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:59 PM ----------
Please comment if you're reading...
I opened my eyes and looked around. I was in a hospital. Why was I in a hospital? How did I get here. I thought back to the previous day. I couldn't remember. I thought back to the previous week, month, year, my whole life. Nothing. I didn't even know who I was, what I looked like, how old I was. The doctors were going to notice that I was awake at some point, so I decided to check some things.
"Am I a man? Yes."
"Am I bald? No. Thank god."
"Am I young? Either that or I moisturise really well. Hey, I remember humour. That's good."
I shifted in the bed slightly, no obvious injury. I sat up, and still nothing. I heard footsteps and stared at the door, expectantly. It came open.
"This is the patient who was f... oh, you're awake." Said a man wearing what a doctor wears. This being a hospital, I took a wild stab at him being a doctor.
"Yes. Who am I?" I asked.
"We... erm, we don't... know. You were found in a deep state of unconsciousness, under a tree in Hyde Park." Hyde Park, so I'm in London. That's good, I like London. Probably. "We DNA tested you, but there no matches. You are entirely unexplained." I don't think I like being unexplained. I noticed that next to the doctor was a woman in her early 20s. She had a name tag saying "Visitor: Helen".
At my look of surprise at bringing a visitor to see patients, the doctor explained who she was. "She's a government inspector."
She was drop dead gorgeous, is what she was. She had long flowing blonde hair, and a warm face. It didn't look like she was wearing much make up, and she still looked stunning, and natural at the same time. I liked it. I realised I was staring and stopped. The Doctor continued.
"Well, now you're awake I'll get another doctor to come over and fill you in, I've got to take Helen around the rest of the hospital. Goodbye." Lucky ******, I thought.
"See ya doc, bye Helen".
"Bye".
I dreamt, that night, of Helen. I don't know what it was, but I felt something about her. The next day, I carried on trying to remember things about my past. All of a sudden, three things popped into my head.
The first was a young girl, about 5 opening a present and smiling. She took a ball of the box, and grinned.
The next a match of football being played, the ball being passed to me and me burying it in the top right hand corner, and celebrations being shared by thousands of people.
The third was flames and screaming.
Unnerved by this, I turned the TV on. I was glad to see that there was football on the TV. The screen told me it was a Premier League fixture between Chelsea and Portsmouth, and Chelsea were 3-0 up. No, sorry, 4-0. A few minutes later, the final whistle went. Chelsea had crushed Portsmouth, under new manager Felipe Scolari. Scolari was destined to succeed, I knew it.
I knew from my memories that I lived football, scoring in front of thousands, and a girl grinning with a ball. Maybe she was a daughter or something. I thought again about the memory of the girl, and saw on the ball, a crest. A green shield with a rampant bear on it. It had the words Central London Wonders. My team. It came back a bit more. Headlines saying "Huge signing for the Wonders *** joins team" *** represented my name there. I couldn't remember it. For all I thought about it, nothing came to mind.
I'd found out it was August 2008. That sounded about right. Tests had told me I was 37 years old. They had also said that I was free to go. I walked out. Football is my calling. I just had to choose a name.
I was given a wallet that was found on me. There were a few cards, and at least £1500 cash, all wadded in. I decided to buy a laptop and book myself for a few nights in a dirt cheap hotel for a few nights, so I could find my bank balance, a new home, etc.
However, the first thing I did was search for "Central London Wonders". They're a big team, I'll find 'em easy, and I'll find my name. When the page finally loaded, what it said shocked me
"Your search - Central London Wonders - did not match any documents".
"WHAT?" I shouted at the screen. I decided to search for the Premier League. All of the teams there I recognised except for one. Who the **** are West Ham United? I thought. I looked them up, and the internet told me about how "West Ham United won the world cup in '66." But that was the Wonders.
I'm dreaming obviously.I though to myself. I went onto the West Ham Wikipedia page. It told me that West Ham play their games at the Boleyn Ground. But that's us.
This was too confusing. I went on BBC Sport website and it told me that Watford had just sacked their assistant manager. My future is in football. I'm too old to play. Why don't I apply?
That was the start of my footballing adventure in my dreams.
---------- Post added at 01:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 12:59 PM ----------
Please comment if you're reading...
Last edited: