the passing style depends on how you want to play. shorter for passing the ball up the pitch between players, and direct passing meaning players will try and lob the ball up to strikers as quick as possible. To play a shorter passing game you need to have players with good passing and creativity etc and direct for the oposite. the short passing would be a team like barcelona who like to keep the ball in posession and make lots of passes. Direct would be a team like stoke playing long balls to Crouch up front. Both can be effective in their own way so it is how you want to play and how capable your players are.
The settings for attacking/control basically do what they say. if your team is better and has more of the ball the control setting means they hold on and keep that possession but still create chances. Attacking would be putting more players forward at a risk of losing the ball. Like wise if your team is not as good you may set up defensively, the team sitting back looking to break up opposition attacks etc. Counter again sitting back but looking to break quick on your opponent if you can win the ball back. I usually start with standard and if my team has more posession il switch to attacking or control, but if there is alot of pressure from the other team i will go for defensive or counter.
As for best team/team instructions it all depends on what players you have. I would suggest maby looking at some of the formations on here and finding one that best suits the players you have then you could try and build on it and if needed can ask for help on how to set the team settings for that formation.
Hope this helped a little!
What team are you anyway?