The Alfa Romeo Metaphor

Sunday, 11 January 2015, noon

"I've watched that video a dozen times and I think we should ask the FA to review that elbow," I said once everyone was sitting down for our coaches meeting. "Knott definitely threw an elbow."

"I'll have Mark do his baseline tests again this afternoon," Physio Jon Whitney said. "Double check everything is okay. Sometimes concussion symptoms are late blooming, so to speak."

"I'm shocked he doesn't have a concussion," Assistant Manager Sean Hankin said.

"I know, he was out cold for a moment," Coach Mark Woolley added.

"Thoughts about yesterday?" I asked.

"I'm concerned about how many chances Scotland had," Hanks said. "Frampton was exposed. Framps should have been able to handle him."

"Losing Mark so early was the reason," Wools replied. "Mark is several leagues better than Gregory."

"And improving every game," Hanks interjected.

"Well," said Fitness Coach Dave Wilson. "Framps is getting slower. I've got him on a leg work program to keep what quickness he can but there's only so much we can do, he's 35 after all."

"So we need to protect Framps and Haz, don't we," I said. "Next Saturday, I want to play 442 at home against Scunthorpe but I'll take your suggestion that we need Mark and Leandro to stay back and make sure we don't have a gap between midfield and the D."

"Especially Leandro," Hanks added. "He tends to forget his defensive duties."

"What you got, Lil," I asked.

"Scunthorpe give up a lot of goals in the second half," Chief Scout Lil Fuccillo. "Hold them in the first. They don't score much at all in the second."

"They play a 442 and you need to worry about their striker Jayden Stockley," he continued. "Their left back is out which is good cos he's one of their top assist men. Fenlon will need to keep a close eye on their right midfielder, Yohan Lasimant."

"Bottom line is Scunthorpe have one of the best defenses in the league, this is going to be a tight game," Lil concluded.

"Mid-week friendly to keep the second stringers fresh," I said. "Anyone got anything else?"
 
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View attachment 390023Enrico Pucci @enricopucci - 12 Jan 2015
Confirmation that @MarkTomlinson does not have a concussion and will
be available for Scunthorpe United's visit this Saturday. #Wimbledon
 
Friendly: AFC Wimbledon v. St. Albans City

View attachment 390019It's Tuesday, 13 January and we welcome St. Albans City to The Fans Stadium - Kingsmeadow for an evening friendly match so my second string players can stay match fit.

Because we have so many injuries, Reuben Hazell and Brad Smith will have to start but Smith only played 45 minutes and Hazell 73. I let Haz stay in for so long because he spent the majority of the match standing around. Matteo Nole and Steven Gregory also only played 45; I will need them fresh for next Saturday.

Unfortunately, Simon Johnson fell and landed on his elbow. Physio Whitney says he'll probably be out two weeks. Harry Pell replaced him and played reasonably well.

I'm still frustrated that Redshaw is unable to score. On paper, he should have been a good signing. He's fast and finishes well. Oh, those intangibles...

View attachment 390011
 
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View attachment 389959Wednesday, 14 January 2015 2pm (or so)

"Oof," I said as Michael Smith hammered a shot off of keeper Chris Dunn's shin. Coach Mark Woolley had the wingers and strikers working on one-timing angled passes.

"It's like this every training, every day," Wools sighed. "I've been working with Michael for how long now on placing his shots? I don't know. He's just not picking up on placing his shots."

"Like Lovers," I remarked as James Loveridge slid a pass between Dunn's legs and into the net.

"Well maybe not quite like Lovers as Lovers can't do that in a match," Wools replied.

"Point taken," I said.

View attachment 389958My phone jangled in my pocket.

"It's the boss," I said to Wools and strolled off.

"Erik, what's up?" I said.

"Grimsby want to loan Fabian Rowe," Chairman Erik Samuelson said. "And Fabian has agreed to it."

"What? That is good news," I replied. "I'm finally rid of The Entitled One."

"While the loan lasts until the end of the season, don't forget he's still yours until June 2016," Erik said.

"I'll let him burn that bridge after he crosses it," I replied. "Anything else?"

"No, just battling with Merton Council's Zoning and Planning Board," he said. "Some day hopefully before I pass on, the club will be in a new stadium."

"Hang in there," I said. "It'll all pull together."

"I hope so. Goodbye."

Click.
 
League Two: AFC Wimbledon v. Scunthorpe United FC

View attachment 568759View attachment 568757I've got running tights under my pants then track suit over my pants. I've got a sweater and my Wimbledon scarf and Wimbledon hat on then my official Wenger-style Wimbledon puffy parka. The official temperature is 5C (41F) but with the damp and the wind and the wind-blown rain which varies from ice drops to ice shards to biblical downpour, today is really going to suck.

Despite the inhospitable weather, Kingsmeadow is packed and jumping. Props to the fans. Seriously.

They're singing "the wind and the rain won't stop the pain that we are going to inflict on you" and chanting "you beat us five to two, we're going to kick you in the [indecipherable]." What ever it is they're chanting it rhymes with two.

My subs are:
Chris Dunn (GK), Ben Harrison (D), Cameron Dummigan (D), Steven Gregory (M), Harry Pell (M), Adam Pepper (M), Jack Midson (F)

I told them to carry on from the last match. I told them to be careful and not get They looked pretty pumped up to set things straight after last September's *** whuppin' so I didn't say much else.

We started out strongly. Michael Smith hit the post in the 3rd minute after George Francomb played him in. James Loveridge hit the crossbar in the 6th after nearly everyone touched the ball as we prodded and probed the Scunthorpe defense. The rebound fell to Matteo Nole at the top left of the box, but he shot high.

In the 10th minute, Smith played a ball in behind the right back for Nole to run onto. The Scunthorpe right back Grant Ward lunged with a desperation tackle and only managed to take out Nole's feet.

The ref pointed to the spot and flashed a yellow card at Ward.

Leandro Depetris jogged over and picked up the ball. While Ward's teammates begged and protested, Leandro placed and replaced the ball until it sat just how he liked it. Then he stood staring at the ball until the ref blew the whistle. The keeper guessed the right way, but smashed his shot into the lower corner.

1-0

We responded just like I wanted them to: we kept possession and kept the ball in their end.

Their first chance was a harmless long-range shot in the 26th minute.

In the 29th minute, everyone charged the goal on a corner except for Smith. Leandro played the corner into the mixer and it was cleared out to Smith. His volley nearly shattered the upright.

I could barely see this the rain was driving so hard. And I was at midfield. I can't imagine the fans at the far end could see much.

But with a half hour gone, we'd hit the post twice and the crossbar once. Were we going to regret these close misses?

In the 39th minute, Leandro crouched down then sat down and waved. When Nole put the ball out, Physio Whitney ran out and nearly immediately signaled that his day was done. Once Adam Pepper was warmed up, I sent him on.

At half time I told them to change into dry kits. It's no fun to sit around in clothes for 15 minutes. Once they were all changed, I told them to keep it up. They were doing everything I wanted except for the woodwork bits, after all. Scunthorpe hadn't really threatened us at all.

The first fifteen minutes of the second were relatively nice weather-wise. Both teams took advantage of the 'nice' weather and took it easy.

The action finally picked up in the 58th when Lovers sent Smith in alone on goal. Smith's goal trickled an inch wide.

From the long goal kick, Scunthorpe gained control and brought the ball into our half. Suddenly, the Iron were passing like we usually do and eventually set up their striker Jayden Stockley. Daniel Lincoln parried Stockley's heavy shot and the ball fell to their other striker Kwame Thomas.

From his ****, Lincoln swatted Thomas' shot right back at him. Thomas helped us out by blasting the subsequent shot wide.

From this point on, Scunthorpe kept the ball in our half except for rare forays by us. On one of those rare forays, Lovers hit the post from 5 yards out. Our third post of the day.

View attachment 389124My face met my palm.

That was Loveridge's last action of the game. I sent on Steven Gregory and switched to a 451 with Gregs patroling in front of our central defenders. It was time to park the bus and see this baby out.

With 15 minutes left, I pulled off Francombe. I sent on Cameron Dummigan and moved Brad Smith up to right midfield. Everything was going great until the 87th minute when I saw Brad laying on the ground clutching his knee. I hadn't seen what happened but this meant that we'd have to play the remainder of the game with ten men.

The only tense moment was one minute into the four minutes of extra time when Reuben Hazell made a brilliant sliding tackle but only managed to poke the ball into Yohann Lasimante's path. But Lincoln was up to the challenge and saved the points with a diving save.

Nole cleared and Scunthorpe couldn't manage another chance.

We survived hitting 3 posts and the crossbar.

All play-off teams except for 7th place Rochdale won. We have a 7 point cushion over 4th place Southend and this means a 7 point cushion for an automatic promotion spot.

View attachment 389123View attachment 389122
 
I hate league 2. No matter how many games you win, there's always some AI jerk who is a point behind you!
 
mking1992 said:
I hate league 2. No matter how many games you win, there's always some AI jerk who is a point behind you!
Click to expand...

"AI jerk" ... I love it. It has been remarkably strange that if I lose, everyone drops points. If I win, everyone wins. The bottom line is the 7 points cushion I have for automatic promotion.
 
"Hey, you on your way over?"

"Hi. Look out the window."

"Huh? Okay. What's up."

"Just look out the window."

"Okay okay I'm walking over. Not much to ... wait ... is that? Seriously? Did you just go out and buy a Volvo SUV?"

"Well, I'm an utterly **** driver and when I wreck I figure I'll have the best chance of living in a Volvo."

"Sweet Mary Mother of God."

"Ooh I love it when you swear in Italian. So sexy. Please bring that American-Italian **** down here and let's go get some dinner. I can't see any parking anywhere on the block."

"Wow, nice interior," I said as I opened the door to the luminescent sky blue Volvo SUV. "And it's got that new car smell. Nice leather. ****ing everything in here is leather?"

"So you approve?" she asked.

"Who cares what I think," I replied. "I'm guessing your check for your work in southern France cleared. Where are we off to?"

"You'll see," she said.

We were doted upon at one of greater London's finer establishments. The kind of place I ate at all the time when I was playing. I felt kind of weird the whole time. Kind of guilty or something. I'd gotten so used to frequenting places like this then experienced destitution when I ate the cheapest box items out of the grocery store freezer section.

"Is something wrong? Gwen asked after the plates were cleared from our final course.

"No, I mean yes ... um," I stuttered. "It's just ... I don't know ... let me put it this way. Um, so you know about my life when I was playing. This was dinner three or four times a week."

"This," I said gesturing to the whole of the restaurant. "This got normal. Maid. Everything laundered. Limos. Pampered in every possible way. Blowing twenty five grand over the course of a week's vacation was no big deal. Then when everything fell apart ... well ... um ... walking past places like this because my Alfa was in the shop and I had no money for the repairs ... I probably spent twenty grand over the two years when things were at their worst."

"Was, was this, this a mistake?" Gwen asked quietly. She was both concerned and confused.

"No no no no no," I said. I put my hand out across the table and put it on hers. "This is a party in celebration of you being awesome. No, I'm just weirded out, freaked out because, um, because well let's just gaze into a possible future..."

"Really?" she said and smiled her devious grin. The problem is this grin is probably what will make her modeling career. I nearly melted. I always nearly do.

"Yeah, so let's imagine your modeling career takes off," I said once I pulled myself together. "As it sure looks like it is. I'm not doing too shabby, currently with Wimbledon. But I'll either get sacked and get a job with a bigger club or a bigger club will come in for me. Thirty six is really quite young for a manager, by the way. Imagine that the money is flowing. We could be in Spain or Italy."

"I would love to live in either," she added.

"My point is to not get I don't know too used to being utterly spoiled. I don't even know how to say this. Or say it right. I mean, there's comfortable and then there's flaunting it because you can. I don't even know if this makes any sense."

"It does," Gwen replied. "My Mum and Dad's place doesn't look like much, but they've got several hundred thousand pounds worth of art hanging on the walls. Art that I smeared Nutella on and Mum cleaned it up. My Dad holds two patents. Mum's made a quite healthy salary at Royal Academy. I imagine that the house was paid for long, long ago. I think I know what you're getting at."

"Okay, yeah," I said. "Maybe it's more like this ... don't let it go to our head's. You know, let it get out of control or something."

"That seems wise," she said. "So let me pose this to you: what do you think about us moving in together? Officially. I've absolutely GOT to get the **** out of my parents house and I'm over most nights anyway."
 
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Sunday, January 18, 2015 noon

"As soon as we started hitting the woodwork, I was sure it wasn't going to be our day," I said to start off our coach's meeting.

"They just never did much with all the time they had on the ball," Assistant Manager Sean Hankin said.

"And you were loving the weather," Coach Matt Woolley added.

"Look, the one side of my face is still red," I replied. "I've never been in a hurricane but there were a couple of minutes in the first half there ..."

Everyone nodded.

"You going to stay with Danny Lincoln in net?" Goalkeeping Coach Paul Rachubka asked.

"Probably," I replied. "I made the switch just because we played like **** in front of Dunn against Morecambe and Danny hasn't given me a reason to take him out. It's not Dunn's fault."

"I want to emphasize that we did a lot right yesterday and on any other day, we would have won by more," I continue. "With that in mind, what do we have to look forward to against Torquay next week?"

"Torquay are the lowest scoring team in the promotion race," Chief Scout Lil Fuccillo said. "They also give up quite a lot of goals but only on the road. They've only given up 11 goals at home in 14 matches. We're the only team stingier at home. They're just great at home. We should be happy to come away with a point."

"They play 442 at home," Lil continued. "left midfielder Jason Twum is a Blackpool prospect. He's pretty quick and should keep Dummigan's hands full. Their forwards Tom Hitchcock, a QPR prospect, and Kieffer Moore combine well at home. Moore is built rather like Peter Crouch so it's unfortunate that Thackray is out as we could use a tall defender against him."

"Haz and Framps will have to do," I interjected. "Anything else?" Lil shook his head. "Well, you all know what we're focusing on this week."

Everyone nodded.
 
Rog: Now on the Men in Blazers podcast we want to change the focus ...

Davo: Not that anyone could ever tire of us discussing the money boys ...

Rog: The money list ...

Davo: But here at Men in Blazers we occasionally like the story the pulls the heart strings ...

Rog: And redemption, too ...

Davo: Yes, redemption, too. So let's get into the Men in Blazers time machine and go back to the early eighties ...

Rog: To the diaper years ...

Davo: maybe for you but to a time when a plucky bunch of violent but talented players rose from non-League to Division One.

Rog: We are of course talking about Wimbledon FC. The Crazy Gang.

Davo: You will know us by the trail of blood.

Rog: That's a band you know.

Davo: I do.

Rog: They won the FA Cup in 1988 over Liverpool. THE Liverpool. Not just anybody's Liverpool. The all-conquering Reds that won everything all the time. Wimbledon became one of the founding clubs of the Premier League.

Davo: John Fashanu, Vinnie Jones twice, Davey Bassett, Dave Beasant, Bobby Gould, Joe Kinnear ...

Rog: Before he lost his mind.

Davo: There were so many names.

Rog: So many.

Davo: But then a foreign owner got sick of their horrible ...

Rog: Awful

Davo: stadium situation and moved the team to Milton Keynes.

Rog: This is the tear jerker part. The fans had their team ripped away from them. There were protests, tears ...

Davo: Gnashing of teeth ...

Rog: And the fans did the only thing they could think of, they formed a new club. They even forced the newly-moved team to change their name.

Davo: And so AFC Wimbledon was formed. The field good story of the century.

Rog: Isn't it weird to say that? This century ...

Davo: They held try-outs that were open to the public on Wimbledon Commons. They joined the lowest division and like their spiritual forefathers climbed up the divisions. Five divisions in nine years.

Rog: Which is incredible.

Davo: Incredible.

Rog: They survived their first season back in the professional leagues, League Two, just barely. So what did they do, Davo?

Davo: Sacked their manager.

Rog: But not just any old manager, they sacked one of the names. They sacked Neal Ardley, the former Dons player.

Davo: Now any other club, this would be the death knell. They'd be dropping back into the Skrill.

Rog: You've never had the chance to say that, have you. Say it again ...

Davo: Skrill? No, I haven't. But we always try to break new ground here at the Men in Blazers podcast. But you see this club is Wimbledon. They just don't operate like any other club

Rog: Well, for one, they are owned by the fans. One of the few teams in this world who are financially sound. They even bought the stadium they were renting to help out their landlord, Kingstonian, who were in financial trouble.

Davo: So what do they do? They hire a Yank to manage their team.

Rog: But not just any Yank. This particular Yank is Italian-American and played in the midfield for Bologna in Italy. And his name?

Davo: Enrico Pucci.

Rog: And what does this upstart do? This upstart who's lone managing job was in the south of Spain at Cadiz in the Spanish equivalent of League Two, El Segundo?

Davo: He guts the squad and rebuilds it from scratch nearly. Now this is Wimbledon who hold a raffle to raise money for a new player. This is a team without any money.

Rog: All his new signings are Bosman transfers. And he promotes a few teenagers from the youth squad. His midfield tandem are both teens.

Davo: Their top scorer, a young man named Michael Smith, had been loaned out by Ardley and he was intending to let him go. Their other top scorer is twenty.

Rog: From his contacts in Italy he's brought in a winger and a back-up midfielder.

Davo: Both on frees.

Rog: Of course, this is Wimbledon after all.

Davo: And this bunch are leading League Two.

Rog: It's such a feel good story.

Davo: How can you hate them. How?

Rog: You can't. It's the fan's team, financially sound. They even hold on-line fundraisers to help the team and people who are lifelong supporters of other clubs help. It's fabulous.

Davo: So they'll very likely be up in League One next season. Six divisions in ten years.

Rog: And the irony of it, well maybe not irony ...

Davo: schadenfreude maybe ...

Rog: Yes. And this would be better far better than let's say Sunderland finishing higher than Newcastle ...

Davo: Or Everton above Liverpool ...

Rog: Well maybe Newcastle getting relegated while Sunderland stay up. Which just happened a few years ago.

Davo: True.

Rog: The ultimate schadenfreude-irony of it all is that MK Dons are very, very likely to be relegated from League One this season.

Davo: The Dons or Wombles as they are also called may never face their mortal enemy.

Rog: In the league at least. They faced each other last year in the FA Cup.
 
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View attachment 387020
So then there was Torquay

Don E. Brook, 23 Jan 2015 17:03

I have always enjoyed the drive along the south coast. Last season we kicked off our campaign on a beautiful August day. Played our first professional match in Torquay and drew 1-1. We won 3-0 last September. A satisfying early season victory on a pleasant autumn day.

Tomorrow will not be pleasant, I've seen the forecast. The wind will howl. If it rains, and this is England after all, we will be blasted. The stormtroopers that pose as stewards will strictly enforce all the inane regulations. Apparently, smiling, singing, chanting and smoking are all illegal in Torquay. At least one of the four is true. Is it too hard to allow a fan a *** now and again?

As for the match, Don Pucci (as he's been nicknamed by his charges) will play cautiously. I expect Smith to be foraging alone, bereft of my assistance. Pucci is most likely to fill the midfield focusing on our proud Womble agricultural traditions of violence and shirt-pulling.

One thing is certain, there will be few goals. Torquay don't score much. I fear both side will park their buses (curse Mourinho) on the top of their respective boxes and wait for the rain to fall. Nonetheless, Duff, Trash and I are on one of the chartered buses bound for the south coast tomorrow.

As always, hope for the best expect poor ref'ing.
 
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League Two: Torquay United FC v. AFC Wimbledon

View attachment 574359It's January and we're heading down to the south coast. The wind is howling off the channel from the south. Plainmoor stadium is small and does nothing to slow down the wind. It's a fairly new stadium and has recently been revamped and the visiting changing room is small but has working amenities.

But let's face it. The wind chill is what makes standing outside today miserable. On top of that it was raining lightly. But near gale force winds turns raindrops into something similar to a BB gun pellet. As you can well imagine, I'm completely bundled up.

With the injuries to Daniel Barlaser (fit enough to come on late) and Leandro Depetris plus Mark Tomlinson's 2 match ban for 10 yellows, I decided to experiment a tad.

Brad Smith starts at right midfield because George Francomb needs a rest. So that's pretty weird foursome across the midfield. I'm hoping James Loveridge will attack from the left wing. The combination of Matteo Nole and Lovers makes our left side pretty fast.

"Keep the ball on the ground and I want the wind at our back in the second half, right Andy?" I said to begin my team talk. Captain Andy Frampton nodded.

"We've started a nice run, we're playing the kind of football we're capable of, let's keep the run going," I continued. "We've worked hard all week on denying the space on defense. I have faith we can do it for real against Torquay today. I have faith that when we keep the ball moving, we create lots of chances. Work hard for each other, okay?"

We lost the coin toss and would face into the wind for the second half. That's the luck.

Brad was so excited to play right mid that he nearly scored after 13 seconds. Great diving save by the Torquay keeper Michael Poke.

In the 11th minute, Torquay's left midfielder Jason Twum beat Cam Dummigan and whipped in a cross. The wind bent the cross about 10 feet and their striker Kieffer Moore must be accustomed to this wind because he smashed a volley that forced Daniel Lincoln to dive to save.

The early exchanges were decent chances for us and long-range, wind-aided shots from them.

On 24 minutes, Michael Smith received a pass about 40 yards out and all alone. I expected him to dish it off, but he spun the midfielder who was marking him and ran at the two central defenders. They kept backing off and backing off and backing off and he created himself some space with a shoulder fake and zipped a low drive under the keeper from 10 yards.

0-1

He ran over to the away fans behind that goal to celebrate. The Torquay manager Alan Knill was beside himself as well he should be. That was some seriously **** defending. Reminded me of how Cadiz would defend at home last year.

Torquay got a great chance a half an hour in but squandered it. Twum beat Cam again and dribbled into the box. He didn't shoot at 15 yards even though he had a clear opportunity but kept dribbling. Cam is faster than him and caught up with him at the 6 yard box and forced him toward the end line. He passed back to the top of the box where midfielder Jordan Stewart was standing all alone.

Jim Fenlon cleared his shot off the line.

Then it got dull until just before half time. We gifted Courtney Cameron a double opportunity to score. Reuben Hazell blocked the first attempt and Lincoln saved the second. Then we squandered several chances in quick succession before Torquay's Lee Mansell blazed wide after a rugby-style scrum near the penalty spot.

The second half started rather dull. The action began in the 49th when Twum beat Cam again. Lincoln snared his cross. He drop-kicked the ball into the wind and managed to get it over the half line. Smith challenged but they won the header. Lovers got to the ball first and raced goalward.

The mob of Torquay defenders that had accumulated by the time Lovers got to the edge of the penalty box managed to knick the ball off him. One of them chipped it down the right flank. The wind turned the chip into a long ball and right at their striker Kieffer Moore who had drifted out onto our left flank.

Moore ran for the end line but noticed that he was all alone. So he played a ball back to the trailing Mansell. Mansell saw that Cam had forgotten about Twum and had drifted inside. Mansell crossed to the wide open Twum.

Twum shot right into Lincoln's stomach.
View attachment 386688
But if you give a footballer enough high quality chances he's eventually going to score. That's precisely what happened in the 61st minute. Cam got caught upfield on a Torquay counter. Mansell lobbed the ball in front of Twum. Twum controlled the cross, jogged goalward and smashed a shot past Lincoln.

1-1

My face met my palm. Cam stood there 25 yards from goal performing the double-face palm of shame.

There wasn't much left in this match. 30 more minutes of Torquay hoofing the ball forward and us repelling their attack.

I replaced Adam Pepper with Danny Boy at 70 minutes. Smith started limping around the 80th minute so I replaced him with Jack Midson in the 84th. And Ben Harrison went on for Fenlon for the last three or four minutes.

Cheltenham, who are in 2nd, lost so we gained a point on them. Southend and York both won, though. I'll take a point against the 7th place team, away and in these conditions.

View attachment 386687
 
Mate, I have to tell you, I have been captivated for hours.... this is the best FM story I have ever read & I'm only half way. Awesome job!
 
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