Sorry mate, hope this doesn't put you off the story.
I don't mean to be an *******, but yeah, when a story is poorly written, it puts me off.
There are a few stories here where I ignore less than adequate grammar and sentence construction because the players are good and they have original stories. Luckily there's quite a few stories to chose from.
Yours is just another Scotland story, there's quite a few good ones already from there.
Come on guy, would you read a book if it contained grammar like this? I know this is an internet forum, but there should be some standard set in terms of grammar if you want to write a story.
A sentence with no capitalization is uncomfortable to read. Have you not been to school?