This is by the same network(or webiste) www.weeklyworldnews.com who made up the bull about the french guys love for his e-momma.
THE SEVEN NOT-SO-DEADLY SINS
By MIKE FORSYTH
OMAHA, Neb. -- Everyone has heard of the Seven Deadly Sins: Envy, Sloth, Gluttony, Wrath, Pride, Envy and Greed. But the seven next-worst can also land you in hot water with the Almighty, a top Bible scholar warns.
"Although not as fatal as the Seven Deadly Sins, which lead to eternal damnation, the Seven Not-So-Deadly Sins tick off the Lord in a big way," explained the Reverend Andy Breslewood.
"Committing one guarantees you a stint in purgatory." The seven are:
1. SLOPPINESS -- "Heaven is immaculate," Rev. Breslewood pointed out. "A slob like Oscar in The Odd Couple may be cute on TV, but he won't get a warm welcome in Paradise."
2. DULLNESS -- Boring others to death by telling the same corny jokes again and again can be more excruciating than shooting them.
3. PHONINESS -- Putting on a bogus British accent when you merely vacationed in England for two weeks angers the Lord.
4. RUDENESS -- Even if the person you're talking to is only a "lowly" waitress, be polite.
5. COWARDICE -- If you're the type who stands by watching when bullies are beating up some nerd, your "goodness" is useless.
6. IGNORANCE -- "It really irks God when someone prays to Him using poor grammar," the Bible scholar says.
7. BLIND OBEDIENCE -- In some cases, being too much of a "yes" man, like Adolf Eichmann, can land you in **** forever.
THE SEVEN NOT-SO-DEADLY SINS
By MIKE FORSYTH
OMAHA, Neb. -- Everyone has heard of the Seven Deadly Sins: Envy, Sloth, Gluttony, Wrath, Pride, Envy and Greed. But the seven next-worst can also land you in hot water with the Almighty, a top Bible scholar warns.
"Although not as fatal as the Seven Deadly Sins, which lead to eternal damnation, the Seven Not-So-Deadly Sins tick off the Lord in a big way," explained the Reverend Andy Breslewood.
"Committing one guarantees you a stint in purgatory." The seven are:
1. SLOPPINESS -- "Heaven is immaculate," Rev. Breslewood pointed out. "A slob like Oscar in The Odd Couple may be cute on TV, but he won't get a warm welcome in Paradise."
2. DULLNESS -- Boring others to death by telling the same corny jokes again and again can be more excruciating than shooting them.
3. PHONINESS -- Putting on a bogus British accent when you merely vacationed in England for two weeks angers the Lord.
4. RUDENESS -- Even if the person you're talking to is only a "lowly" waitress, be polite.
5. COWARDICE -- If you're the type who stands by watching when bullies are beating up some nerd, your "goodness" is useless.
6. IGNORANCE -- "It really irks God when someone prays to Him using poor grammar," the Bible scholar says.
7. BLIND OBEDIENCE -- In some cases, being too much of a "yes" man, like Adolf Eichmann, can land you in **** forever.
