The story of a failed footballer

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Why is it that even when things are starting to look up all around me I can't lift my head up to do the same? It's like as soon as things start to fall in to place I can't seem to accept that things are going well and just, I don't know, live in the moment? You see for as long as I can remember I have never been a happy person, sure on the outside I am and I can have a laugh but you can bet your house on it that even when you see me smiling I am dying inside. Even if I look happy and I should be happy you can guarantee it's killing me inside trying to keep up the pretence. I don't know if it goes back to my childhood, my failed football playing career or the tragic incident involving my ex-girlfriend and my baby girl but what I do know is that I have suffered enough. I don't know how much more of this pain and hurt I can take. I've made mistakes, I've wasted a lot of my life and drunkenly killed my ex-girlfriend and newborn baby in a car crash I am not a good person, I do not deserve happiness. I won't ever get over the hurt that I have caused others in my lifetime. I just wish I could wake up one day and everything was okay once again, if I could sleep all the pain away I would Better still, I wish I could just end it all and ease my sorrow once and for all but I can't bring myself to do that, I don't know why. I want to do it but I still have that voice of reason in the back of my head telling me that things will get better. i sure hope they do soon, quite simply; they have to. It's getting so hard trying to get by in my day to day life without turning back to drink and drugs once again. I honestly don't know how I've managed to take control of a football team this year when I can barely control my own life, thoughts and feelings. I'm just glad no one has noticed the change in me or at least they haven't challenged me as I think I would break down crying on them. I've got to get these lads through this season and then sort out a long term solution in the summer as this is really getting out of hand.

[video=youtube;JxPj3GAYYZ0]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxPj3GAYYZ0[/video]​
 
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Final games of the season​

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Putting my personal issues aside I plucked up the courage to continue in my job as manager of Clyde football club. With Queens Park as our first opponent in April I feared the worst as we hadn't beaten them since September 2017, nineteen months ago. Once again, our bogey team eased to another win against us and I must admit I hate playing those *******. Losing that match combined with victories for Stranraer and Alloa meant that we dropped down to third but thankfully not for long. We bounced back to the top following a narrow win over Elgin City and courtesy of Alloa and Stranraer drawing their match against one another! We were then able to follow that up with a victory over Brechin thanks to Dario Zanetta who one again scored the solitary strike of the match! Not wanting to go too crazy and run away with the league... We then got stuffed 2-0 by Dunfermline in what was a totally one sided game. To make matters worse Alloa drew with Peterhead which meant they were level with us on points once again but as they had a superior goal difference they went top. Thankfully though we were able to bounce back with a win against Dumbarton in our next match and it was that man Zanetta we had to thank once again! To top it all off Stranraer drew and Alloa lost in their matches which meant we were top by three points! It was all down to us in the final match, we just had to avoid defeat and the league was ours! Ironically enough it was Alloa who we would face in that final match and what a match it was. John Rooney gets a double and CLYDE ARE THE CHAMPIONSSSS!!!

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As I looked around at my squad of players at the end of season awards ceremony in Broadwood stadium I was so proud of them as each and every one of them had played a part in our title run this year. Then it hit me; he's 36, he's 34, he's 33, he's 34 and he's 33. This team were old and they won't have the legs for it next season. As well as the older players there was a couple of young players that simply hadn't fulfilled there potential and I was going to have to let them go. I'm going to have to let them all go after they helped us to a league title... So this is what management is really all about, shattering dreams and ending players careers. Now I know how it really feels from both perspectives you would think it'd make it easier to stomach but as I sat each player down to tell them that they were free to go it wasn't even close to being easy. With the season only just over I had let nine players leave the club and left us with a squad of twelve. I just hope and pray that we go professional again or we might really struggle to bring in players of a sufficient calibre to keep us up next season.

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With the season now out of the way it was time to fulfill the promise I made to myself about sorting my life out. Once all of my end of season obligations had been met with the club I had a meeting with the chairman John Alexander to fill him in on my situation. "John I know that I've put you through a lot of off the field stress since my appointment as manager and for that I would just like to say apologise. I would also like to thank you for every bit of support that you have given me off the field. I know we don't always see eye to eye on club matters but in terms of being a caring and compassionate boss you have been fantastic. If it wasn't for you and this club as a whole I wouldn't have got through these past few years, I honestly believe that. I have had a bit of a setback again recently and although I was able to put my problems to the side somewhat and focus on the club I now feel that it's time to focus on myself. After all I've put you through recently I don't think it would be fair for me to expect you're unwavering support in my decision to check into The Priory hospital for the next month or two or however long it takes. It is with that in mind that I have come to the conclusion that it may be best for all parties if I were to step down from my position. I say that with a heavy heart and deep regret as I've grown to love the club and enjoyed the positive times we've had here." Having said what I had to say I got up and left the room feeling sad but optimistic about finally sorting my life out.
 
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"Chris" I heard just as I was about to leave the room. "I will not accept your resignation. As you said, we have been through a whole lot of **** good and bad these past three years and I'll be damned if I'm going to let it end like this. If you feel that checking yourself into rehab is the best thing for your health then I stand by you 100% of the way but I will not let you walk away from this club. Not while you still care, not while you love this club. Do you know how much I love this club? Do you know how rare it is in football to find a manager that wholeheartedly gives his all to a club to the point that he's on the verge of a breakdown? I see your passion on that touchline and in training every match day and every day and I thank the big man up there that you found your way to this club. With no disrespect to Barry Ferguson, as I know you two are close, we weren't going anywhere before you joined this club. We were settling for mid table obscurity and feeling satisfied with it. In our second year working together we could and should have had back to back promotions. That would have been a helluva achievement and many people would have walked away knowing that things were going to be much tougher when we had to relinquish our professional status. They could have thought there wasn't any chance that they could better a promotion bid this time around but not you. You stuck around, you grafted, you struggled and you believed. So no Chris, no I don't accept your resignation. What I will do is give you all of the time you need to recover from whatever you may be going through at the moment. We are in a good position given that we are in the middle of may and we have over two months before we have to get back down to the nitty gritty of competitive football. Here's a deal for you; go away and do what you need to do but I want to speak to you for two hours a day. In those two hours a day I want to know first and foremost how you are getting on and then I want to know who you want us to sign. I know the rush you get out of signing players and that you'll already have a list wrote down in your notebook somewhere. Myself and Simon Lappin will sort the day to day running of the club and the training then we'll get any deal done that you want done. Oh and don't worry about the cost of your hospital treatment I will take care of that for you. Now, how about it?" he finished.


I was stunned. "John, I, I don't know what to say. I was out the door I was gone I didn't expect this. I really do not deserve all of your kind words and your support, really. I've never been spoken about in the manner in which you just have and I, I am really overwhelmed by your kind words. I felt like I had used up all my lives at the club and that I was best out of all of this. For you to turn around and say all of that about me though.. How can I walk away? How can I walk away from someone who has shown me more love and support than I have ever received in my life? You really are a true gentleman with the kindest heart. I didn't realise I was giving so much to the club in all honesty. But then, the club has been my escape from real life lately so it really shouldn't be too much of a shock. Do you know what John? I'm staying, I agree to your terms and I can't thank you enough. As for paying for my treatment I respectfully decline your offer. And yeah you're right I do have a list of targets so you had better get that cheque book out won't you. No in all seriousness John, thank you so much I will give you a call once I have all the arrangement's in place.
 
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A big part of the process of going through therapy and getting help for a wide variety of things is being involved in a big group discussion where each individual shares their experiences. Now, as I've been a manager for the past three years I really thought I would have been fine when my turn to speak came around. How wrong I was! It turns out it's not quite the same trying to let out your feelings, emotion and 'darkness' as it is to demand your team win a game. Funny that. Still, I managed to get through it all whilst trying not to blush too much at the pretty girl with the long brown hair and tanned complexion that was giving me some strange looks. As I was about to leave the room after the group session had ended I was suddenly aware of the brunette beauty calling out my name. "Chris, Chris! Hi, how are you?", she asked. "Hi, emm I'm fine and you?" I replied. "Yeah I'm good. I get the impression you don't remember me do you?", she queried. "I'm sorry, should I? I don't no, I'm really sorry." I said embarrassed. "Well that just about sums you up then doesn't it.", she yelled before storming off. What the ****? I have no recollection of ever meeting this woman.. Who is she? Better yet, why is she so angry with me? I didn't even remember to ask her name although it was a very quick conversation, if you could call it that. Anyway, best not worry about it too much, after all we are both in a hospital getting help with mental illness... I put it to the back of my mind and got on with my task in hand; get my latest transfer targets to John Alexander.
 
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As I continued to attend group therapy over the next week I was really puzzled that the woman from my first session wasn't there all week. I hadn't even seen her around the building which was a bit strange as we were all kind of grouped together. I decided to ask the group psychologist about her whereabouts "Simon, what happened to the brunette girl that was here in my first session? She approached me and seemed to be know me but I didn't know who she was and she stormed off. I've been wanting to ask her where we met and what I done wrong for her to give me abuse." Simon waited a couple of seconds as he pondered his reply before finally admitting to be that he couldn't disclose information about another patient with me. Despite my persistence it was obvious I wasn't going to get any answers from him. Later on that night as I was trying to get to sleep I heard a girl frantically screaming and crying down the hall. I crept over to the door and opened it slightly and at the bottom of the hall I could see the girl from my first day being ushered into a room by the nurses and there was a trail of blood following them. Had she been cutting herself, or tried to slit her wrists even? That poor girl, what must be going through her mind. As I pondered that question the full night whilst trying to sleep I kept coming to the conclusion that she is really ill and that it put things into perspective for me; my demons aren't as bad and I can definitely get through this. As it turned out, the psychologists agreed with me as I was informed the next day that they were extremely pleased with my progress and that I may not need to stay here too much longer. There was even suggestions of getting out in the next week but coming in for day visits every couple of days. I definitely feel better within myself after being able to let all of my emotions out finally. It felt much better being able to talk over the thoughts swirling around my mind rather than swirling down a bottle of vodka and some pills. I guess it's true what they say; the drugs don't work they just make you worse.

[video=youtube;ToQ0n3itoII]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ToQ0n3itoII[/video]​
 
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After some great progress from myself in the past couple of weeks I received the great news that the psychologists believe that I'm now ready to face the world once again. I have been able to unload a lot of pent up frustration, worries, guilt, fear and god knows what else during my time here and I feel much better for it. I feel like I've been given a new lease of life and I'm ready to hit life with renewed vigour. As my life essentially revolves around Clyde football club and football in general the first thing I'll be doing once I leave here is head straight for Broadmoor stadium to get right back into action. As happy as I am to be out again and feeling better I can't help taking myself back to the night the 'mystery girl' tried to kill herself. Not just because she tried to kill herself, although that is sad in itself, but because of that first encounter I had with her where she seemed to know who I was and expected me to reciprocate that fact. I can't shake the feeling that our paths may have met many years ago when I was in a really bad place with drunk and drugs. In saying that, she could well be bipolar or schizophrenic for all I know and I'm making up all sorts of scenarios up in my head! I just hope she gets herself sorted and we bump into each other again in the future. It's time to get back into the real world now and get my team prepared for the new season and build a team too.
 
Dang your story writing makes me wonder whether is this an actual story with addition of Clyde FC management twist?
 
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Clyde 2019-20 transfers, so far

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After clearing out the 'deadwood' from the club in the immediate aftermath of the season's end last year the players knew that we were going to be bringing in a fair few players for the upcoming season. However with the players that were still left over from the end of season cull I had pretty much told them that there wouldn't bet too many further changes unless we really had to make them. I just about kept to my word as only a further two players left the club and I can't say we'll miss either player; Reece Hall-Johnson was a player we signed whilst we were still a 'professional' club and we weren't aware of the financial difficulties behind the scenes and as such we gave him a little more money than we should have. OK actually it was more like a lot more given his performances last year! Anyway, with him and Connor McManus leaving we were able to clear £3k in wages for players I didn't rate. I must admit that I was pleasantly surprised by both the quality and quantity of the players we were able to bring in. Of our four loanees three of them will be key players all season I would think. Liam Burt in particular is one that stands out for me and I can't wait to see him play. Either Daniel Harvie or Lewis Reid will be our starting left back this season as we strengthened that position with two loans, I see Harvie as the most likely started although there isn't much to separate the two. Matthew Russell is a quality centre back that will be looking to break up the Josh MacDonald-Quade Taylor partnership and I certainly believe he is capable of doing it. Andy Ryan and Jack Blake are the only two remaining players I see as first team regulars out of the twelve and that's because they improve the team massively. The rest of our signings will likely play bit part roles this season but make no mistake about it they are not poor players, infact I would happily play any one of the players we now have in our squad of twenty-two. Strangely enough, although we've significantly improved our squad we still have £200k in transfer funds and £7k per week available wages. I can't grasp why the board have given me such a budget when we're £500k in the red and projected to lost £1.75m this season. I don't know what's going on at board level as I've repeatedly said that I don't want nor need any more funds for the season. We've got to turn it around financially as I'm not sure if we can actually go up to the Premiership as a semi-professional club and that looks very likely to happen if we are to go up in the next two or three years.

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Unlike last season I have absolutely no problems at all with the expectations set by the board this season as I feel that all objectives are easily achievable. Furthermore, I actually believe that we could finish in the top half and maybe have an outside shot at the play-offs if we play as well as we should. We'll certainly avoid relegation and any form of battle down that end of the table without a doubt in my mind. The cup competitions targets are much more reasonable this season which makes me think that there's no reason why we can't go on and do one better by reaching a round further than what's expected of us! We shall soon see though.

 
Zinedine Zaiddin said:
Dang your story writing makes me wonder whether is this an actual story with addition of Clyde FC management twist?
Click to expand...

Thank you very much my man! Just the kind of comment I've been wanting! I've tried to put more and more of a story into at as I find it more interesting and liking making up scenarios too. Appreciate the comment (H) Just all in my head I'm afraid. :p
 
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Going into our first game of the season against Ladbrokes Premiership opponent's is a pretty daunting task given that we've just overseen a radical overhaul of the playing staff this summer. We've brought in twelve new players and it'll take time for all of them to get used to our system. With that in mind it was just the three players whom we gave a debut to and those players are Andy Ryan, Daniel Harvie and Liam Burt. We're bossing this match and we've had three shots in at the Hamilton goalkeeper Robbie Thomson after two minutes! It is a bit end to end this action but Hamilton don't look capable of scoring as they misplace pass after pass, mishit cross after cross and shot after shot. It's all even at half time as neither of us have been able to break the deadlock although it's us who are looking the more likely. Finally, after an hour of play we have a goal! It's Harvie with the cross and Steven Ross with the goal, the big man gets the season off to a flier. It's a bit of a scramble in the box from a John Rooney free kick; It's Ryan now to Quade Taylor, passes it to Ross and it's Ross with the goal you beautyyyyy!! Could it be? It is! It's Steven Ross with the hat-trick as he receives the ball from Ryan and slots past the 'keeper with ease. The big man is on fire this is the way to start the season! Great performance by all involved today and we've taken the scalp of Hamilton who are the highest ranked team in our Betfred League cup group. Could this be the year we progress past the group stage? Best not get too far ahead of ourselves!


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Despite beating Hamilton in our first match in the group we were able to call upon Canadian duo Fraser Aird and Dario Zanetta after their return from international duty and they made up two of the three changes today with Jack Blake the final one. John Rooney, Theo Wharton and Ursene Muanda certainly have every right to feel aggrieved at the decision but at the end of the day they know they are back up players. This should be a tough one today as our league rivals Dundee United are a great side and I'm definitely expecting us to be given a tough time out there. Gavin Reilly is on a mazy run here, takes on the defence, passes it inside for Ryan Hardie... It's a goal! Dundee United have taken the lead. As we reach the twenty minute mark there is no further goals but our chances of that have decreased slightly as Andy Ryan has to go off through injury and he will be replaced by Kudus Oyenuga. The bookings are piling up for us now and that's four of our players that have been cautioned as we reach half time. Decisions, decisions... Fraser Aird off and it's Theo Wharton to replace him. Quade Taylor steals the ball from a slack Ryan Hardie and blooters the ball up to the top left of the pitch and it finds Oyenuga who crosses the ball and it's Steven Ross with the equalising goal!! You *******. It's not level for long as Ali Coote runs down the wing and whips in a superb ball for Hardie who finds the net once again. It gets worse. Blair Spittal crosses it to the far post and Amadeusz Skrzyniarz smothers Reilly as he attempts to shot but the ball squirms past them to Aaron McGowan who tries but fails to clear the ball and scores an own goal. Embarrassing. Zanetta off, Rooney on. As we go all out to attempt a fight back in our last twenty minutes we really could be setting ourselves up for a fall here. Some great play in the midfield here now and it's Blake to Rooney and Rooney gives it to Ross.. It's a goallll!! Steven Ross makes it 3-2 with eight minutes of regular time to play, game on! No it's not it's game over as Hardie scores hit hat-trick on the ninety-second minute. The final score is 4-2 Dundee United and it's a harsh result on us as we were the better team throughout. In all fairness though Dundee United played perfectly against us on the counter which got them the win. Still, that consolation matters as Hamilton won 3-0 against Cove Rangers which means we stay second in the group courtesy of one goal of a difference.

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Although we didn't get the result we wanted last time out I felt as though the team played well as a whole and because of that we decided to start with the same team for this one. Steven Ross has the ball on the right wing, massively out of position yet he knows what he's doing as he passes inside to Liam Burt, Burt through to Dario Zanetta and he scores! We take the lead after seven minutes and what a good team goal that was. Berwick break away now after another wave of attack from us and they have it down the left wing with Colin Charlesworth who gets his cross in now and it's got to be a goal, it is, Darren Lavery pulls Berwick Rangers level. OHHH it doesn't last long! The combination of Burt, Ross and Zanetta combine once again and our little Canadian grabs his second goal of the game! Burt and Ross are linking up fantastically well here as they play one-two-three-four with one another and Burt heads it back to Ross now and he lets fly with a volley.. It's 3-1 Steven Ross scores a terrific volley. As we settle back into the game after half time there is no stopping us as we bombard the opposition goal with shot after shot, this could get embarrassing for Berwick. Are they about to make me eat my words though as they go through on goal with only Amadeusz Skrzyniarz to beat.... No! Quade Taylor lunges in on the striker from behind and gets himself an early bath and potentially gives the home side a way back into this tie. The unimpressive Andy Ryan will be sacrificed here as makeshift centre back Aaron Reid comes on in his place to cover for Taylor. Just as it looked like we might not be affected Berwick have went and scored a second with thirteen minutes left to play in this match and I think I'll be watching this with my hands over my face now! I can't believe we've had to resort to this but two-goal hero Zanetta will come off for Ricky Foster who will join the defence in a 5-3-1 system for the rest of this game. It worked! That was far too close for comfort in the end but the only thing that matters is we got the win, A special mention has to go to Liam Burt after this one as he deservedly goes away with the man of the match award after assisting all three of our goals today. We've found a real gem of a player in that one.


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As we have a game in hand over Hamilton we have no idea of the result we're going to need to qualify for the second round by finishing second in the group. Like I always tell the players though, we should be aiming to win every match we play regardless of the opposition and that's exactly what we'll be looking to do here. With Cove Rangers being the weakest team in the group we're hoping that we can annihilate them and Dundee United lose their match which could mean we'd finish top of the group! Yet it's that kind of thinking that can lead to complacency and I only hope my lads don't get that way today. It's once again an unchanged team which surprises me as I thought we'd have to replace Taylor due to his red card but apparently the suspension takes effect in the league? Strange one that. After an uneventful first half Andy Ryan has to go off through injury once again and if this is going to be a common theme he will soon find himself dropped, Oneyuga comes on in his place. Josh MacDonald plays it long from the back and he finds the sub Oneyuga who drills the ball across goal for Steven Ross who duly obliges with predatory instincts to notch his seventh in four games. Ohh no he doesn't, Josh Kerr own goal apparently.. I would definitely say that was Ross' but no matter as we still go ahead. Nice little move in the centre of the pitch here inspired by Blake who carries it before passing it to Daniel Harvie who crosses it in for Oneyuga who heads in his first goal for us! Liam Burt is taking everyone on now and he's going to dig it from twenty-five yards and he does but it's spilled by the 'keeper who parries it out into the path of Ross and it's 3-0 at half time. This Liam Burt is absolutely fantastic and courtesy of some great work from him once again we have goal number four. Burt kept hold of the ball and brought out the opposition defence before passing to Oneyuga who then played in his strike partner Ross who grabs his second goal! With Hamilton drawing against Berwick in a result that no longer matters to us we will have to wait until Dundee United play them in the final match to see if we actually top the group! Would you believe it if I told you he's now found the net a minute or two later? Well he has! Fraser Aird with the long ball over the top and the goalkeeper foolishly comes out for it but Ross gets in ahead of him and nods it past him for goal number five. Cove Rangers on the counter attack now with Lewis Small who's in on our keeper.. He's saved it! Great reflexes by Amadeusz Skrzyniarz. With fifteen minutes left on the clock we bring off the fantastic Liam Burt, who goes off to a rapturous applause from the 808 fans in attendance, for Ursene Mouanda. It looks like we're just going to run down the clock now as the lads knock the ball around to cheers. Aird with the ball and he's running at the shell shocked Cove Rangers defence, lays it off for Oneyuga who does the same for Steven Ross once again and once again Steven Ross finds the net. Fan-*bleeping*-tastic. It's six nil and we are through to the second round of the Betfred League cup and we could yet finish top should Hamilton beat United. Steven Ross has ten goals in the competition now and has broken the record for goals scored in the whole competition in just four games, remarkable. St. Johnstone's Chris Kane was the previous record holder with nine goals back in 2016.

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After Hamilton mauled Dundee United 4-1 we got confirmation that we had topped our group and will be going through to the second round of the Betfred league cup as group winners. We got a relatively favourable draw as we were paired with our league rivals Queen of the South. We'll play them immediately after our first league game of the season.. Coincidentally Queen of the South! In our first match with them we ran out comfortable victors as Andy Ryan grabbed his first goals for the club alongside Steven Ross who netted his eleventh of the season. We can only hope that we now have the upper hand when it comes to our cup game on Wednesday.

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View attachment 106187After leading the boys to a win over Queen of the South in our opening league game of the season I am quietly confident that we can grab another win against them. With Quade Taylor back from suspension and Matthew Russell cup tied we had a straight swap with the two in what is our only change to the line up. After ten minutes of play it us who take the lead once again! Dario Zanetta terrorising the defence down the wing before cutting inside and drilling the ball along the box for our man Steven Ross to put us one up. Not five minutes later and we have another! Jake Blake with the corner which is flicked on by Taylor to his central defensive partner Josh MacDonald who nods it in. Ohhh and as they appeared to be sinking without a trace Queen of the South come roaring back into this with a goal on the twenty-fifth minute courtesy of Danny Handling, 2-1. With no further goals for a while we head into the final twenty minutes looking to hold on to the result and I've instructed the lads to concentrate. They didn't get the memo. Queen of the South 2 Clyde 2 and it's Alex Harris who has sent the match to extra time! This has been a boring thirty minutes of extra time and as we enter the last it looks like it'll be decided by penalties. Wait, it's Andy Ryan on the counter, goes past one defender and now he's one on one with the goalkeeper, can he score? He hasn't he's dragged it wide! What a miss! Penalties it is. David Bates with the first for Queen of the South.. GOAL! Steven Ross, surely.. IT'S SAVED!! Alex Harris.. Goal. Fraser Aird.. Goal. Callum McFadzean.. Goal. John Rooney.. OH NO he's done a Steven Ross and went straight down the middle and it's straight into the 'keepers hands once again. Simon Murray to win it.. He's scored! We are out!!
 
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July-August roundup​

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As is standard procedure during our pre-season I let Simon Lappin take charge of the friendlies and in the three we played we done very well and came away with three impressive wins. We only scheduled three friendlies as we wanted to be more prepared for the Betfred Cup this season and so we focused on some other aspects in training instead of overloading the lads with pointless friendlies. Our plan seemed to work in the group stage as we romped through to the second round with three wins out of four and finished top of our group! We had Hamilton and Dundee United in the group so it was a pretty decent accomplishment. Steven Ross has started the season back at his prolific best and none more so than in the Betfred Cup where he bowed out of the competition on eleven goals from five games. We also bowed out of the competition on our fifth game as we cruelly fell to a defeat against Queen of the South on penalties having led the game 2-0 at one point. Still, we had made progress by getting that far for a change so perhaps next year we'll make the quarter final. Our league run started with a match against Queen of the South before we played them in the cup and we actually came out of the match deserved winners courtesy of Andy Ryan's and Ross' goals. We bounced back from the cup game with a couple of back to back wins against Raith Rovers and Greenock Morton and led the table after three matches. That wasn't to last though and a couple of back to back defeats in the immediate games afterwards saw us drop down the table as the other teams got the season off to a flier. I'm ecstatic to see us grab so many wins at the start of the season though and I'm quietly confident we won't be in a relegation battle this year.

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Clyde 2019-20 summer transfers
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Since my last transfer update we have been back in the market buying and selling players and yes we continued to receive money for our players!! I am buzzing that we've been able to finally command fees for our players, no matter how little, as it means we are in a much stronger playing field. If people want to pay money for our reserve players; 1. They must be half decent. 2. We should surely command much better fees for our starting players! Although Quade Taylor and Aaron McGowan were first team players here last season we were able to bring in Lewis Kidd and Callum Morris on trial and we quickly discovered both were better alternatives than the former. We quickly set about trying to offload the duo and I was pleasantly suprised to receive a combined £20k for them. However it is in the wages that the real saving was made as both Taylor and McGowan's wages combined added up to £4k per week. Morris and Kidd will take home a combined £1k per week. Once we took a closer look at Kenny Anderson on trial it was clear that he would be a fantastic addition to the first team and would actually jump ahead of Fraser Aird in central midfield courtesy of Aird being unnatural in the position. With that in mind I thought it best to try make some further savings in the team as we were looking a bit full squad wise. Ursene Mouanda was next on the chopping block as he is the 'worst' of our central midfielders but make no mistake about it he is not a bad player we just have a great squad. With Mouanda and Anderson's wage practically like for like it was a no brainer to accept the offer of £20k for a player who barely featured last year never mind how little he'd feature this year. I am happy to say that our team is looking really good right about now and I hope that transfers onto the pitch in the coming season. As always, I will be looking at new guys who could improve the team but for now we are happy.
 

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On the back of three defeats on the trot against Airdrie, Dundee United and Inverness Caley Thistle we didn't head into our Irn Bru challenge cup third round tie high on confidence. When Miles Addison scored just before the twenty minute mark I could sense the players heads going down and started to fear the worst. Those fears were soon allayed though as a spectacular error by Killie 'keeper Scott McManus saw him run outside of his area and clear the ball but only as far as Jack Blake who let fly with a 50-yard volley which leveled the tie at 1-1, embarrassing for the lad but what a hit too!! We are still in this... Despite still being in the match I decided to let rip at the players during the half-time team talk in the hope that we could go on and play even better. I decided to take Liam Burt aside and instructed him to just keep trying what he's trying as I had every faith that he could produce the goods for us. After a rather uneventful second half we headed into extra time in hope that we could pull something off rather than in confidence. It turned out it was false hope as we succumbed to Killie eventually and we fell to a 3-1 defeat which sees us knocked out of the cup. Four losses on the trot is starting to become a bit of a habit..
 
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