UKMACKIE

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"Forever and ever we'll follow the Jags..." was bellowed from Joshua Mackie mouth as he slung his can of Tennents Super into the air still attached to his hand. As the 9% proof slime slunged around the rim of the can the manager at the time of East Kilbride Thistle Colin Mitchell swivelled towards Joshua direction.

"Gonnae shut the **** up" Middle Aged Mackie took this as a sign of disrespect and lack of motive for the team and continued to sing louder and louder while questioning the loyalty of Mitchell. This led to Joshua being dragged [reluctently] into the owners office where John Drummond [Chairman] was sitting.

"Drummond for **** sake this display is *****! There no ******* commitment by the management or the ******* players!" slurred the half cut man.

"I understand your concerns Mr Mackie but it's hardly the time nor the place for you to voice your opinions especially in your state. Don't you have somewhere better to be?"

"No John! I've been coming here since I was two when the club opened we deserve better!!!! £57 for a season ticket I deserve my say"

"Ok Mr Mackie I understand your concern and we'll to deal with your complaint as soon as possible"

The game ended 2-1 to East Kilbride Thistle at the showpark which many believe was down to the rallying speach of Joshua Mackie. The Chairman seeing this as an opportunity more than hinderance. Joshua Mackie was later named as the new Manager at East Kilbride Thistle a man who has been to every home and away game since the start and looking to better this team and raise them from the depths of Irn-Bru Scottish 1st Division [South].

*Video starts recording*

"Hello Hello? **** sake Karen is this how you work this thing?" Mackie shouts as he turns his back on the video recorder towards the kitchen where his wife was situated.

"Right first things first why am I here? I'm here to take on the challenge of East Kilbride Thistle to bring glory to the biggest town without a professional football team in Scotland. No chance you say? Aye well maybe but **** it! It's what I hear to do I've given my job up at the tax office I just want to **** manage its all I wanted to do. No of your Jock Stein Alex Ferguson pish I'm nothing but a ******* man. It times to get started no money for transfer **** all wages. So I've sacked my whole staff in order to save the money for players and I'm going to bring in my mates as coaches physios scouts and such..here [Lifts up a list of names] You'll be hearing more about them soon.

*Video ceases recording*

*Video starts recording*

"I've got to grips with this thing and I've got to update you on the friendlies for July I've had 7 friendlies to try and get to grips with the team and figure how far these fat bastards are willing to go for the club."

East Kilbride Thistle 1-3 GH Academy
East Kilbride Thistle 2-0 Larkhall
East Kilbride Thistle 1-0 Broughty Athletic
East Kilbride Thistle 2-1 Lochgelly Albert
East Kilbride Thistle 1-0 Craigmark
East Kilbride Thistle 0-1 Forfar Albion
East Kilbride Thistle 1-1 Abbey Vale

"Right so there was my friendlies....Some spanish mob called GH **** knows why there called GH or what it stands for came and passed the ball through our legs while twisting like little poofs...but it worked and we get truely pumped. The rest they came we kicked them we kicked the ball to the wing and thumped in cross after cross after cross. Finally we broke the teams down and scored. Oh I also made some new signings. Captain Mackie out and I'm away to the pub I'll update this ****** at the end of August with whats happening the league if my players can hack it!"
 
good read! i'll follow, i like lower league stories

follow my hartlepool story called - blue and white army
 
"Hello you bunch of boring bastards! Nothing better to do than read the conquests of a drunkard in charge of his local team? The season kicked off in August with 5 matches being cramped in there. With our team media predicted of 18th. I'm out to prove a point so lets see what happened"

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"As you can see we kicked off at some place called Whitletts Vic where ever the **** that is I'll never know but we got a draw which was fine happy enough. My first official competitive home game against Bellshill and I ******* got beat pumped them and kicked them all over the shock but nothing. I'm logging this pishing thing I'll be back at the end of September with more results for you and more anguish. Peace out."
 
Aha i like it. Very unique way to do things. EK is scum though :)

Keeping a tab on this now
 
"Hello once again Mackie reporting back to yous with a little more thoughtful after my spat with my star player Sam Heenan who I place out on loan for 8 games to a team in another league for me to work things out. But now he's back and he's caused some amount riots in this league. Well I'm not going to my post my results up this time because we lost even game including our game against Motherwell B who we were favourites for. So totally embarassment for the whole of the month of september. So it was time I took a less bashful approach to management and settle down slightly and see what happens. The next time I report it will be in January to see how were doing."

---------- Post added at 04:25 PM ---------- Previous post was yesterday at 09:54 PM ----------

*Video Blog Opens*

"Hello all its 1st January and everything is upbeat in the league..unlike my head after last night. We're sitting in at 8th place forcing our way past the likes of Girvan and Cumnock who are the favourites to win the league. There seems no need to update this every month and will do another review at the end of the season with possibly my top player and how my team preformed under the current tactics which I pretty pleased with."

"Another point I want to make my extremely squad has been tremendous in gelling together so quickly since half of them have apprenticeships or still at school and showed fantastic dedication to come down and play week in week out. Hopefully [if our finances improve] I'll be bringing more faces in next season weather we're fighting in our current league or a stage above us. Only time tell. Thank you very much and I'll report back with some more shots of the results and league table soon."
 
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