Alpha Romeo Metaphor II

View attachment 294062Thursday, 13 August 2015

We flew down to Sicily to play Messina ... well, flew to Catania then took a bus to Messina. Thankfully, it was an uneventful flight.

I wanted to get everyone on a plane, fly us somewhere, take a bus to the stadium and then play without all that much time to prepare. It was sort of a shock to the system test to see how we respond. It took us a while to get going, but we got going.

Goals from Leonardo Guerra, Gaël Kakuta and a late one from teenage midfield prospect David Sauerland. David was released by Borussia Dortmund for reasons I can't fathom and we picked him up on a free. He might be a real deal kind of prospect. He can play any midfield position and I have no idea what type of player he'll end up being.

I didn't really mention that on Tuesday, we played Chelsea. I don't really want to talk about it. As ***-whuppings go, it will hopefully opens our eyes to how much we need to improve. Or it could be just a sign. Only time will tell.

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View attachment 294059Friday, 14 August 2015 a bit before 3PM

Gwen had awoken with the horrible realization that my custom-tailored suits were from 2005. This may seem insignificant to the overwhelmingly vast majority of you men out there. But you may have forgotten one salient fact: she's a model. So here we were walking into my tailor's shop near my old apartment.

"Enrico, Enrico, how are you?" said Cosimo Modallino. "What a pleasant and unexpected surprise to receive your call this morning."

"Well, apparently I have a fashion emergency," I said glancing at Gwen.

"Ah ... so ..." Cosimo said. "Emergency?"

"Well, first of all, let me introduce you to Gwen," I continued. "Gwen, Cosimo." They exchanged kisses. "Um ... well, as you know the Serie A season starts really soon ..."

"And I must congratulate you, my friend!" exclaimed Cosimo. "First on landing the job and secondly on a job well done with the Serie B campaign. And, secondly, upon landing this fabulously gorgeous and highly intelligent woman. She is even more ravishing in person than in the magazines or newspapers. Can you believe I was even in London and saw her billboards."

"Thank you," I said chuckling at his exuberance. "But it was only this morning that Gwen realized that all my suits are from 2005."

View attachment 294060 "What?" Cosimo asked aghast, realizing where this was leading. "You ... what about Spain? What about London? Really? Um ... this is horrible!"

He began prancing around his shop in his anxiety. Then he walked up to Gwen and hugged her.

"This is so good that you have Gwen in your life," he said. I just stood there with the sinking feeling you get like when you realize you just behaved ignorantly in front of a whole party of people you need to impress.

"But you make really great suits," I said trying to spin this situation positively.

"Oh Enrico, Enrico, you have no idea," Cosimo said. "If you were to wear a decade old suit of mine on national television you might View attachment 294061as well knife me in the groin! She has averted certain ruin and calamity for me. Mary Mother of Jesus praise this wonderous model girlfriend of yours."

"My sweet bowl of ragu alla bolognese," Gwen added in Italian. "See. You can't go in national spotlight not in new suits. But there is time, my love."

"Now I'm your bowl of meat sauce?" I said in English then switching back to Italian. "And a knife to the groin? Calamity, death? Seriously?"

"No, Enrico, this is serious," Cosimo said. "But your lovely Gwen has brought this to my attention and I will have at least a few suits ready for the start of the campaign. When exactly does it all start?"

"The Saturday after tomorrow," I said.

"Oh, marvelous, Enrico, marvelous," Cosimo continued. "Let me check your measurements to make sure they haven't changed. They look like they haven't."

"Wait, what?" I said. "You remember my measurements?"

"Yes, my darling, I do," Cosimo said. "I know all of my customers measurements. This is my life, you know."

And so Gwen through her superior fashion sense averted utter ruin for an innocent tailor in Bologna.

Just a day in the life of a football manager.
 
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Friendly: Bologna v. Genoa

View attachment 293609Saturday, 15 August 2015

Here we are. A week out from the start of the campaign except that I've been told today that instead of Udinese in a week, that match has been bumped to Wednesday the 26th so we can play Livorno in the 3rd qualifying round of the Coppa Italia. But this is our last real test. Genoa are a legitimate Serie A side; they finished 4th last season and will be playing in Europe.

We didn't stink. We took more shots than them, got more on target by a wee bit and came back from two down to tie it. Substitute Antonio Calabrese evened the score up in the 67th, minute. Sadly, they restored their lead inside two minutes. That's a concentration thing. I hate that, giving up goals right after scoring really chafes my underoos.

Casarini and Gaël Kakuta (goal scored) had good matches. On the other hand, my defense didn't have that great of a match and Shawn Parker had his first bad performance for us.

We have much to work on and our final preseason friendly against Como will be good tune-up for Livorno. Hopefully, we beat Livorno in the Coppa and get some confidence before we face Udinese on Match Day One.

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Such an amazing story, easily the best actual "story" I've seen on this site since I7I Danny's one a few years back! Can't wait for more mate
 
Such an amazing story, easily the best actual "story" I've seen on this site since I7I Danny's one a few years back! Can't wait for more mate

Thank you very much. You'll be happy to know there's plenty more to come.
 
Friendly: Bologna v. Como

Wednesday, 19 August 2015

Our final warm-up is Como. We dominated: we took 29 shots, got 10 on target and scored three. Shawn Parker and Gaël Kakuta scored early and Matthias Lepiller scored in the 78th.

Kakuta was great. Parker, teenager Leonardo Guerra and Lepiller were good.

Now that the preseason is over, I will admit to you all that I'm a nervous nelly. Will our defense be good enough? Will we work hard enough in midfield to be competitive? Will my wingers and Shawn Parker deliver enough goals?

Sigh ...

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The thing I love about this story is that it is so different to ours, in such a refreshing way! The majority of us write a story and base it on matches or months, with our opinions and views, but this is actually like reading a book. I don't read this every day like I do with others when I get some time in work, but I do like reading big chunks of this when I have some spare time! Again, it's been a brilliant read. Well done mate.
 
View attachment 292649Thursday, 20 August 2015 9:32AM

"Thanks for coming in a few minutes early all of you," Graziano Vinti said. "I'd like us all to talk and sort this out. Okay?"

I nodded. Franco Zuculini nodded. Captain Archimede Morleo, Federico Casarini and Matthias Lepiller looked on.

"Franco, you have stated that you want to move clubs and that Atalanta is interested," Graziano continued. "You've also told Morleo, Casa, Matthias and I that Empoli might be interested. Both Director of Football Savoia and Enrico have told me that nobody has enquired or contacted us at all. Nothing. Not even a sniff."

"What would you have us do if no offer materializes?"

"I don't know," Franco replied. "If one does, you'll sell me, right?"

I nodded.

"Providing they offer a reasonable amount," Graziano said. "We think that you are a star for this team and value you at 8 million. do you have a problem with our valuation?"

Franco shook his head no.

"Now, Enrico might be willing to take less if there were an offer, yes, Enrico?" Graziano asked.

"Depends upon the offer," I replied as I shrugged. "And who is making the offer."

"Okay," Graziano concluded. "It's agreed that we'll sell you if a reasonable offer appears. Next, we have to deal with you, Enrico."

I looked at my feet.

"You've had your temper tantrum, you banished Franco to train with the kids. I think you've made your point. Do you feel better now? Are you willing to bury the knife and allow Franco back with the first team?"

I nodded. Sheepishly.

"Alright, we're all ****ing adults here, we're all professionals, the two of you look each other in the eye and shake hands," Graziano said. "Let's move on and get ready to beat Livorno in the Coppa."

I gave Franco a big hug. He was a bit surprised.

"You know it's just that it hurt my pride that you'd want to leave right now," I said. "I'm over it now."

Franco smiled and chuckled.
 
The thing I love about this story is that it is so different to ours, in such a refreshing way! The majority of us write a story and base it on matches or months, with our opinions and views, but this is actually like reading a book. I don't read this every day like I do with others when I get some time in work, but I do like reading big chunks of this when I have some spare time! Again, it's been a brilliant read. Well done mate.

Thank you very much!
 
Friday, 21 August 2015

Here is the August-September matches.

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We get it all started away at Udinese. We kicked our season off last term with a valiant but doomed effort against them in the Coppa. I don't feel that they've improved since last season. I would think we have a decent shot at nicking a point.

I would think we have a chance for all the points against Verona at home.

Sassuolo got better, but they are fellow relegation strugglers. This is an important match for us.

Atalanta sure as **** spent a lot of money on strikers Alberto Paloschi, Matej Vydra and Khouma Babacar. But we play them at home.

I already know that Genoa are tough. This one is tricky.
 
Coppa Italia, third qualifying round: Bologna v. Livorno

View attachment 292626Saturday, 22 August 2015

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The preseason work is done. Everyone is in game shape, more or less, except Matthias Lepiller. He'll only play the first half.

The Bernardo-Dedryck Boyata partnership faces it's first test. Furthermore, how will Gaël Kakuta and Shawn Parker do?

I told my team to relax and play their game and that the result would come.

Federico Casarini set the tone with a thunderbolt from 30 meters that had the Livorno keeper Achille Coser scrambling. It grazed the bar.

Livorno got their first chance in the 9th minute when central defender Alessandro Bernardini had a free header at the near post but thankfully smashed it over the bar.

Then we really began dominating the match. We kept the ball down in their end. The trio of Bernardo, Boyata and Zuculini made sure they were never able to break out. Occasionally by fouling but mostly by well-timed interceptions and tackles.

Parker and Lepiller were playing off each other and Lepiller had a great chance in the 15th minute, but Coser blocked his shot out for a corner. From the corner, Bernardo flicked the ball to the back post, but Parker misheaded it right back toward Bernardo. The big man had his shot blocked.

A minute later Parker hit the defender with his shot when it would have been easier to get his shot on net.

Livorno finally got their second chance in the 25th; a harmless, long-range shot that sailed high and wide.

In the 31st, Zukes was offside on a free kick from out wide. Parker and Lepiller exchanged passes at the top of the box resulting in a great chance for the new boy. Unfortunately, Coser tipped Parker's shot over the bar. Zuke's header from the resulting corner was cleared off the line.

And that's how the rest of the first half went. So close, yet so far.

At halftime, I got Modibo Tounkara warming up to replace Lepiller who'd given everything he had in the first half. I told the players to keep working hard and playing as they had been. I urged them to stay calm and that the goal had to come eventually.

View attachment 292624And it did.

After failing to convert several good chances, Casarini took what I initially thought was a speculative longe-range shot. But he'd hit a shot with no spin on it. It moved around like a beach ball in a swirling breeze. While it was right at Coser, he only managed to block it because of the combination of ferocity and movement. The ball fell to Kakuta.

Gaël zipped a quick shot under Coser!

1-0

Once again, Kakuta was playing well. I was pleased to see Casa running the show from midfield. Livorno never really threatened us for the remainder of the half. We played primarily in their end or in midfield. Loris Damonte did a good job helping stifle Livorno once Pazienza started to tire.

Casa was clearly MotM while Kakuta also played well. The defense played well though they were never really tested. They cleared the corners Livorno won quite well except for that first. Shawn Parker worked hard, but didn't have a good match.

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Sunday, 23 August 2015

I have four things to report today. First, I extended my keeper's Dejan Stojanovic's contract. He'll be here through June 2018.

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Secondly, my scouts highly recommend a Hellas Verona teenager Pierluigi Cappelluzzo. They are convinced he'll be a good Serie A striker. He's got pace, a decent work rate, good first touch and dribbles well. We'll need to work on his composure, but along with strength and stamina this isn't unusual. Verona are willing to sell or loan him, but since his contract ends in June 2016 we will most likely pick him up for free in the summer. If we decide to buy him, he'll cost EU 1.58 million.

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Third, teenage central defender Luca Callegari extended his contract and accepted a loan move to Arezzo. He'll be good Serie A defender eventually, but he's still 18 and needs regular first team football.

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Finally, we announced our season ticket sales: 16,497. That's an increase of 3,282 over last season. We've sold 43% of the available seats.

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Serie A: Udinese v. Bologna

WeView attachment 292124dnesday, 26 August 2015

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A wee little three hour bus drive past Venice to Udine and the beautiful hills of Friuli. I'm a bundle of nerves; I hadn't really slept the night before and, honestly, all week. A few hundred Ultras were squished into a corner surrounded by stewards and police.

I'm only expecting 45 minutes from Matthias Lepiller.

Bernardo clattered Udinese's Romanian forward Gabriel Torje 45 seconds into the match. Antonio Di Natali grabs the ball and sets it down 20m out and dead center. I don't know what the **** happened, but Di Natali managed to squeeze his shoot through the wall and into the net.

1-0

What? The? ****? How did that ball get through the wall? What a pleasant start. Urgh.

In the 9th minute, Di Natali almost did it again. Thankfully, his shot clipped the bar on it's way over.

We took the ball forward, passed it around a bit and then Lepiller fed a pass into the gap between the center backs and Shawn Parker smashed home his first goal of the season.

Wait, what? Offside? No fkn way. I'm over in the fourth officials face in a flash.

I'm still moaning at the fourth official when Casarini shoots a hair's breadth wide from 25m.

Over the next few minutes, Lepiller blazed two free kicks just over the bar.

The Bianconeri's only other chance in the first half came in the 22nd when di Natali scuffed a shot well wide.

As the clock was approaching half time, Casarini had half step and unleashed another long-range shot. NOTHING BUT NET!!! What a bullet!

1-1

I was pretty pleased with our first half. We scored twice, created the better chances and Udinese are in this match because of Di Natali's unique skill and our wall failing. Not much you can do about **** ref'ing and the wall failing.

I put Loris Damonte on for Lepiller at half time as I wanted to stifle the Bianconeri and generate turnovers.

It was a pretty dull second half. Shawn Parker was tiring so I replaced him with Daniele Cacia just after the hour mark. Then I took off Gaël Kakuta on 71 minutes and relaced him with Antonio Calabrese. I figured the teen could use a few minutes' experience at this level.

Calabrese made me regret my decision in the 77th minute. As you may (or may not) recall, my wingers mark the opponent's fullbacks. Well, right back Allan Nyom had broken forward, played a give and go and found himself in the box. Antonio ran him over. It was a clumsy forward's tackle.

The ref pointed immediately at the spot.

I immediately started trying to get Casarini and Morleo's attention. I wanted to switch from a 4123 to a 4231 with Casa in the whole behind the striker.

Surprisingly, Di Natali didn't grab the ball. He let central midfielder Bruno Fernandes take it.

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With our new formation and the desperation of the newly promoted, we began attacking. We pushed and we prodded but Udinese parked the bus and we couldn't find our break through. As typical with early in the season, the final pass, touch or shot failed us. We created several almost chances.

Then it all fell apart in the 89th minute.

Dejan Stojanovic rose for a high ball, bumped Bernardo and an Udinese player and fell awkwardly. I didn't get up. Gianni Nanni said it was his ankle. ****, **** and gahdammit. I'd used all my subs.

I told Loris Damonte to put on the gloves and told Casa to play right wing in a 441. Like it even mattered at this point.

No comeback today.

Sigh.

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View attachment 291809After a quick talk with my players, I was ushered into the away press room for the obligatory post-match interviews. A dozen reporters awaited my arrival. I would have you note that this was one more than accosted me on the pitch after we won Serie B.

"Riccardo Icardi, Bologna Football Times. How big of a factor was losing your keeper Dejan Stojanovice to injury as you were pushing for the equalizer?"

"I think that's obvious."

"What do you know about the extent of Dejan's injury?" Icardi asked.

"Not much right now," I replied. "We're icing his ankle and he'll have a scan tomorrow."

"Was that the turning point?" Icardi asked.

"No, it wasn't," I said. "We should have gone into the locker room at half time leading two to one. I'm baffled how Di Natali's shot got through our wall. But from my vantage point, and my players agree with me, Shawn Parker was onside when Lepiller passed him the ball. That looked like a good goal to me."

"Mumble di Mumble mumble from RAI One," said the RAI reporter. I didn't catch his name. "You had talked in the build-up about Ternana saying that they are certain to be relegated. Would you care to reply to Attilio Tesser's response that he's confident his players will give it a go and thinks they can stay up? Especially after today's loss?"

"No."

"Antonio Calabrese made a pretty horrendous mistake today which cost you the game, please comment," said Massimo Gianciala of La Gazzetta.

"He learned a hard lesson today," I replied. "Antonio is a smart young man and a good footballer. He will learn from this mistake and come back more determined than ever."

"Will he feature again?" Gianciala followed up.

"Of course."

"Riccardo Terminiello, Corriere della Sport, everyone enjoyed Federico Casarini's long-range goal, it silenced the crowd, how do you rate it?"

"This is what Casa is capable of," I replied. "A magnificent strike from a magnificent player."

"Matthias Lepiller, Loris Damonte, Michele Pazienza and Dejan Stojanovic were all unfortunate casualties of an Udinese team that many have claimed play too close to the edge and often cross the line," said the guy from Tuttosport who assumed I knew who he was. "What do you make of their style and approach."

"First of all, we're not exactly delicate flowers," I replied. "We led Serie B in fouls and yellow cards. I can't see Stramaccioni sending his players out with an intent to injure or play dirty. They're abrasive and combative and so are we. They probably have as many ice packs out in their locker room as we do. That's football."

"Surely there must come a point where the line has to be drawn," Tuttosport reporter followed up. "It can't be acceptable to see players injured as a result of over-enthusiastic play."

"Again, I'm not about to toss any stones or cast any aspertions," I replied. "If you just noticed what I complained about today, I only got angry once. I only moaned about the goal they denied us. I was fine with the referee team's job out there aside from that."

"Mumble Mumble from La Repubblica, recent reports have you linked with Sassuolo midfielder Jasmin Kurtic. Please comment."

"Who?"

The La Repubblica reporter repeated the players name. I shrugged.

"Any other questions?" I asked. There weren't.
 
Serie A: Bologna v. Hellas Verona

View attachment 290797Sunday, 30 August 2015

Curva Sud is packed and boisterous. The main stand is fairly full and two thousand or so Gialloblu occupy a heavily supervised and guarded corner of Curva Nord. It's a beautiful late summer day and a great day for calcio.

Verona posted a defensive formation and starting eleven: 4141 and their right midfielder is often their right back. I shook hands and hugged Vangelis Moras at the side of the pitch. Only two changes from Wednesday: Luca Ceccarelli replaced Gyorgy Garics who couldn't have gone 90 minutes; and Simone Pasa because Michele Pazienza was in the same condition Garics was.

It took us ten minutes to get rolling but when we did we didn't let up until halftime. By the 16th minute, Matthias Lepiller, Shawn Parker and Gaël Kakuta had all squandered multiple gilt-edged chances.

In the 22nd, Captain Archimede Morleo robbed their right midfielder Romulo and hoofed a ball forward. I say hoofed because we play a short ball, possession game and long balls are not our style. But he must have known something about Moras who misjudged the flight of the ball and it got over his head. Parker was on to it in a flash and raced goalward. The keeper raced out and blocked Shawn's attempt but the ball lay their invitingly.

Parker had planted his foot and was about to tap the ball into the gaping goal when Moras took out his planting foot with a desperation tackle. Thirty thousand screamed their disbelief as Moras cleared the ball over the touch line.

I sprinted over to the fourth official to enquire about FIFA's Law 12 when the tackle is in the Group of Four category that also prevents a clear scoring opportunity and the perpetrator is the last man. I wanted to know how Moras' tackler wasn't a foul. Eventually, I was told he'd gotten the ball. Then I enquired how the ref saw all that when he was 40m or further away. I got no answer to that one.

The play continued mostly in their end, but Verona had occasional forays into our end. Primarily, their possession was confined to their half as we pressured them high up the pitch and forced them to make sideways pass after sideways pass.

In the 36th minute, Federico Casarini lofted a pass into the left corner. Parker got their first and blazed a cross across the face of the goal. Lepiller met it on the far side with a volley that whistled back across goal and millimeters wide of the far post.

I was starting to worry we weren't going to convert any chances and that Verona would score at their first try. At half time I praised them for their solid defending, tenacious pressure and urged them to keep playing like they were playing. I told them that the goal we needed would eventually come.

As they got ready for the restart, I yelled at them to concentrate. I didn't want to give up a sloppy goal right after the break. They listened and continued to stifle Verona and play in their half.

In the 48th, Parker's shot got blocked but it fell invitingly to Casa. Federico hammered a shot goalward but the keeper managed to block it and his defense cleared it.

At the hour mark I got several players warming up. Their entire midfield was tiring but I was hesitant to pull anyone off as we were playing really well.

In the 64th minute, Verona got their first attempt on goal but Dejan Stojanovic handled it easily. Phewh!

In the 67th, I pulled off an exhausted Lepiller. I replaced him with Daniele Cacia. Cacia would play up top and Parker would switch to right wing.

In the 71st, Franco Zuculini and Parker exchanged passes out right. Then Parker zipped a pass across the top of the box toward Casarini. Casa smashed it first time into the top left corner. The keeper never had a chance! That was a highlight reel goal.

1-0

After the restart, Verona brought the ball into our half and Ceccarelli felt it was necessary chop down substitute striker Gonzalo Mastriani. The ref rightly pointed immediately to the spot.

My forehead met my palm with a slapping sound.

Mastriani was traveling toward the corner flag at the far right side of the box -- the furthest you could be from the goal yet still be in the box. What. The. ****? Absoluteyl unforgivable for a defender of Ceccarelli's experience. Absofknlutely ridonkulous!

Mastriani lay on the turf for a while. Javier Saviola replaced him and scored from the spot with his first (and nearly only) touch of the game.

1-1

Zukes was clearly exhausted so I replaced him with Antonio Vacca. It didn't matter, Verona sat back happy to have stolen a point. I didn't want to but I replaced Casa in the 84th as he was so tired he might hurt himself. Leonardo Guerra got a few minutes.

The only talking point was Verona central defender Norbert Gyomber ran over Kakuta in the box in the 81st. The ref immediately waved away the protests.

View attachment 290795Three clear fouls in the box and the ref didn't see fit to see the fouls when it would benefit us. This was utter bull****. The simplest explanation was somebody paid off the ref. This is Italy, after all, and this kind of **** used to happen all the time. Since the mafia was still as strong as ever despite the government's best efforts, it was certainly within the realm of possibility.

While his teammates tried to console Ceccarelli, he wouldn't look anybody in the eye and just stared at the floor until he left. I told the players that this was just plain bad luck.

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