FML: Managing Chimney Corner

3/9/11
Steel & Sons Cup 3rd Round
Chimney Corner 0 - P.S.N.I. 2
View attachment 213309

Not quite sure how we lost this one. Wasn't paying attention.

6/9/11
Co. Antrim Shield Qtr. Final
Carrick 3 - Chimney Corner 1
Gray
View attachment 213312

Some load of ****. And the chairman still won't let me do press conferences. Had to vent my fury on a blow-up doll.

14/9/11
Championship 2
Ballyclare 5 - Chimney Corner 3
McGroggan (2), O.G
View attachment 213313

It really ****** me off when my players fail to live up to the high standards I set as manager.

17/9/11
League Cup 2nd Round
Distillery 5 - Chimney Corner 1
Gibson
View attachment 213315

Haven't gotten a win bonus in ******* ages, which means I haven't had a **** in ******* ages. I made sure the players knew the consequences of their poor performances.

21/9/11
Championship 2
Chimney Corner 2 - Queens University 1
Gibson, Stevens
View attachment 213316

Managed to beat a team of hungover 19 year olds. Which means I get the all-important win bonus. Which means Kandi gets a visit tonight.

25/9/11
Championship 2
Coagh Utd 5 - Chimney Corner 0
View attachment 213317

I'm totally disgusted. This performance is not a fair reflection on my managerial abiltity. These ***** are making me look bad.






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Last edited:
30/9/11

I'm thinking about growing a goatee to make myself look more managerial. Or would I just look like a ****?

Trent.
 
1/10/11
Championship 2
Chimney Corner 2 - Armagh 0
O.G, Swann
View attachment 213424

A goatee inspired victory.

8/10/11
Championship 2
Annagh Utd 2 - Chimney Corner 3
Stevens, Stewart, Gray
View attachment 213451

Opted for 'the Gattuso' today, to great effect.

15/10/11
Championship 2
Wakehurst 1 - Chimney Corner 1
Stevens
View attachment 213452

Chinstrap was ineffective.

26/10/11
Championship 2
Chimney Corner 2 - Portstewart 0
Carson, Gibson
View attachment 213453

Back to the goatee, normal service resumed.

29/10/11
Intermediate Cup 1st Round
Chimney Corner 3 - Portadown Reserves 1
Swann, Gibson, McGroggan
View attachment 213461

An excellent win over over the children of the Portadown first team, a particular highlight being Aidan Swann's classy finish past Richard Lecky's 12-year-old daughter.


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Awwwwhhh man you have me in stitches! Fantastic!
 
5/11/11
Championship 2
Killymoon 1 - Chimney Corner 0
View attachment 213633

C'est la vie.

12/11/11
Championship 2
Chimney Corner 2 - Lurgan Celtic 0
Stevens, Todd
View attachment 213635

We beat Lurgan Celtic! **** yeah!

16/11/11
Championship 2
P.S.N.I. 1 - Chimney Corner 1
Stevens
View attachment 213637

Managed a draw with the pig bastards, even after their right-back arrested four of our players for 'disorderly conduct' while on patrol last night. **** THE PO-LICE.

19/11/11
Intermediate Cup 2nd Round
Ballyclare 2 - Chimney Corner 1
Gray
View attachment 213643

Out of some cup or other. Who cares?

26/11/11
Irish Cup 2nd Round
Seapatrick 1 - Chimney Corner 1
Stevens
Chimney Corner win on penalties.
View attachment 213647

We won a cup game! Yay!


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wat happened to trent steele the fugly ****??
was havin a good aul laugh there....
 
julianchelmsford said:

Anyway, I had my first press conference today. I think it went pretty well, considering I didn't even know the name of the team. I smoked a J beforehand, which really helped relax me. Mr. Jackson called me an 'unbelievable fucktard', which I can only take as a compliment. Tomorrow I start training the team and ****. Between you and me, I don't have a clue what I'm doing, but they're giving me £75 a week so I'll keep the job as long as I can.


Trent.
Click to expand...

funniest thing i have seen all day, brilliant.
 
3/12/11
Championship 2
Chimney Corner 3 - Ballymoney Utd 0
Gibson, Tweedie (2)
View attachment 222971

Excellent result! I got 9 million on Temple Run!

10/12/11
Irish Cup 3rd Round
Chimney Corner 0 - Bangor 2
View attachment 222975

Went for a wank with 5 minutes left and came back to find out we somehow managed to lose. WTF?! The players' professionalism leaves a lot to be desired.

14/12/11
Championsip 2
Dundela 1 - Chimney Corner 4
Swann, Murray (2), Murdough
View attachment 222978

I felt a change was needed, so I specifically told the lads to win the game. A bit of a masterstroke on my part, I must say.

17/12/11
Championship 2
Chimney Corner 1 - Moyola Park 1
Murray
View attachment 222990

All part of the Master Plan.



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View attachment 222995

Jules - Football Correspondant



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As we enter the mid-season break, Chimney Corner sit in third position in the Championship 2, despite being strongly tipped for relegation before the season began. Could this meteoric rise owe itself to the influence of ****-ugly manager Trent Steele? No, probably not, but whatever the reason, the Corner must now be considered contenders for what would be a historic promtion.


View attachment 223000
Despite looking like an inbred Harry Potter, there is no doubting Trent Steele's managerial, ehm, ability.
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1/3/12

As a top manager, I feel it's time I stamped my authority on the team's tactics. It is loosely based on Barcelona's philosophy, but I have made several improvements.
View attachment 223007

As you can see, by sacrificing a goalkeeper, I can put an extra body in midfield, which of course means more posession. And as we will have so much posession, we will only need two defenders. The sixth midfielder will lead to complete domination of posession, and the third striker will add at least 33% more goals. I rang Barcelona to get Pep's opinion on my tactic. I didn't reach him, but the woman on the phone called me an 'idiota', which loosely translates as 'master tactician'.

Trent.
 
Hahaha quality update.

On another note.. how did the mocks go for ya? I had mine aswell, torture of a week!
 
Keep it going mate, awesome story :D One of the funniest things I've seen for a while XD
 
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