Karl Pilkington - An Idiot Abroad 4

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Bullardinho

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Karl Pilkington

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Karl Pilkington was born and raised in Manchester, before later moving to London to pursue his career as a Radio Producer where he began working at XFM. He stayed under the radar for a few years before eventually running the desk for The Ricky Gervais Show on a Saturday afternoon.
Whilst at first he did not have any air-time, he was slowly integrated into the show until eventually he had become their equal as a Radio Presenter. Comedy star Ricky Gervais took an immediate liking to him, his ‘Manc Skally-wag’ ways and his ‘head like a ******* orange’ were just a couple of the many, many reasons why Gervais become fascinated by the unassuming guy from Salford.
After The Ricky Gervais Radio Show, Karl went on to feature in TV shows such as Extra’s, An Idiot Abroad, Derek, The Moaning of Life and the animated adaptation of the radio series The Ricky Gervais Show, all created by or affiliated with Ricky Gervais, he even was afforded a cameo big screen appearance in Gervais’s written and produced film Cemetery Junction. During this time Pilkington has also written a number of books, mostly involving his experiences whilst travelling the world during the hit series An Idiot Abroad.
Karl Pilkington has forged a career and amassed millions of pounds through simply moaning, whinging and literally being an idiot, in doing so he has also become the nations favourite bald, whingy, stupid, head like a ******* orange, charlie brown looking, shaven monkey.. Idiot.

Whilst he is grateful for the opportunities he has been given, he often says that it is difficult to be proud of his achievements as he hasn’t actually done anything of any worth.
With his 43rd birthday looming, Karl has decided he would like to take a step back from TV work with Ricky and Steve and forge his own career path. He had once held aspirations of becoming a brain surgeon, however luckily for us, Karl has decided that it would probably be slightly more realistic, if not safer, if he would try his hand at football management, with the not so realistic dream of one day managing his beloved Manchester United.
We follow him as he goes abroad once again in the search for his first role in management, will he be successful or will he fail? Will he stay abroad or will he make it all the way home to the ‘Theatre of Dreams’? Whatever happens one thing is for certain, he is going to ******* moan!!

 
No mention of his football career?

[video=youtube;CYVrgBK5NvE]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CYVrgBK5NvE[/video]

Love Karl, used to listen to him way back when he was first on XFM, recently been going back through all the shows.

And he's.....kind of.....met Beckham

“I was waiting at Piccadilly. It was around 1994, and I saw someone I recognised. I was convinced it was somebody I went to school with. Then my girlfriend came up and said: ‘There’s David Beckham’. People look different on telly don’t they? My head always looks rounder.’’
 
Average Joe said:
No mention of his football career?



Love Karl, used to listen to him way back when he was first on XFM, recently been going back through all the shows.

And he's.....kind of.....met Beckham

“I was waiting at Piccadilly. It was around 1994, and I saw someone I recognised. I was convinced it was somebody I went to school with. Then my girlfriend came up and said: ‘There’s David Beckham’. People look different on telly don’t they? My head always looks rounder.’’
Click to expand...

I think the man is hilarious, I am the same, I have every episode of the old XFM radio shows on my iPod! The man is a genius in his own right.

Apologies for missing out his vital football experience, maybe I could some how edit Mr Beckham to be one of his 'Favourite People'
 
Bullardinho said:
I think the man is hilarious, I am the same, I have every episode of the old XFM radio shows on my iPod! The man is a genius in his own right.

Apologies for missing out his vital football experience, maybe I could some how edit Mr Beckham to be one of his 'Favourite People'
Click to expand...

Maybe throw in some Rockbusters questions to the story too haha.

Deffo not The Rice is Right or big Mother haha
 
Gervais calls KP



RG: What’s up boy?

KP: Alright..

RG: What’s this I been hearing that you're going abroad again? I don’t remember saying you could?!

KP: Yeah, well you know I’ve been doing them coaching badges n that, well I think I’m gonna give it a go, I think I’d make quite a good footy manager.

RG: Karl you don’t know the first thing about being a football manager?! I mean I know there are a few idiots that have managed to be a success but you literally don’t know anything.

KP: No I’ll be alright, how ‘ard can it be. It’s not like I’ve gotta kick the ball about meself, I just gotta tell em what to do. Anyway I think sometimes it’s just about common sense.

RG: But you don’t have any?!

KP: No that’s where your wrong, I told you before, I may not be bright like that Stephen Hawkin’ fella but I’ve got common sense.

RG: OK Karl, whatever you say. Anyways, I hope you’re not going to far otherwise how am I gonna squeeze your bald little head.

KP: Hmm… well to be honest I can’t say I am gonna miss that much. Maybe Steve can take my place, although you’ll have to stand on a chair to reach his head.

RG: HA HA HA.. You wait til I tell him. Alright boy well good luck, keep in touch and try not to get the sack in the first week.

KP: Yeah, cheers for that.



 
Average Joe said:
Maybe throw in some Rockbusters questions to the story too haha.

Deffo not The Rice is Right or big Mother haha
Click to expand...

Haha definitely, or as Ricky calls it 'What am I thing?'

Maybe Karl could throw in some Monkey News as he travels the world.
 
That dialogue was perfect mate, read it in their voices and everything haha.

Keep that up and I'll be loving it.

Alright?
 
Average Joe said:
That dialogue was perfect mate, read it in their voices and everything haha.

Keep that up and I'll be loving it.

Alright?
Click to expand...

Cheers mate! I am going to make a real effort when it comes to the dialogue, story etc.

I hope people do enjoy 'the ramblings of a mad man'
 
Karl Pilkington's a genius, i'm convinced he'd make it as a football manager.
 
Alright.. so I am just packing my bag before I set off to Spain from Manchester Airport. I’m not really looking forward to the flight if I’m honest, too much faffin’ around if you ask me, queuing to check in, queuing through security and then you have to wait around for hours before you have to que again to board. When you’re on the flight it’s just as bad, sitting in them tight spaces like sardines in a tin, kids screaming and people kicking you in the back. I don’t know how anyone can say they enjoy flying, I just want to get there me.

I haven’t really got a clue what I am doing out there to be honest, my new agent has set me up a couple of interviews but I don’t hold much hope. I am going to be living out of my suitcase for the next few weeks until I find a team and settle, luckily I am used to it so I have already packed the Monster Munch. Until I am settled, Susan will be staying in England, to be honest I’m not sure if we will even get on in Spain, she is going to want to explore and see the sites, where as I am just happy with a cup of tea and Hobnob.

I am excited to be going to live in Spain, I have always wanted to live there. They always look so relaxed all the time, all their old people seem to do is just sit around outside a café, even their stray cats are always just hanging around outside restaurants, laying on their back and licking their bollocks, they never look stressed. The only thing I don’t agree with is this idea of a siesta, I don’t understand why they need to go for a nap mid-afternoon? Just lazy if you ask me.

Anyway I better go, Ricky is ringing again, probably because he knows I only have 3 hours before my flight takes off and he probably wants to make me miss it. I’ll catch up with you again once I have had me interviews and that.


 
"insects don't have lie ins, so we shouldn't." -KP


So I'd say the same goes for siestas!
 
Great start mate, you've really nailed the KP speaking style.

Looking forward to this!
 
Yeah, it's alright, innit? A bit too much knockin' about and a bit too little football for my taste, but to each 'is own, I guess. And 'is Motivatin' attribute really should be 1...



But seriously, KP is absolutely brilliant and you really nailed his mannerisms. One of the best starts to a story in a long time! :D
 
Alright, I've been in Spain a couple of weeks now and I've been for more interviews then I've had Mars bars, Ricky hasn't stopped ringing me and Susan keeps texting me about the boiler, it's packed up again and apparently it's still my job to sort it out, so far Spain hasn't been as relaxing as I thought it would be.

The good news is that I managed to get a job, it's with a club called U.D Semozas or summin, they are located in the North-West of Spain and they play in the Spanish Second Division B1, which is sort of like the Spanish equivalent of our Conference league's, pretty low key stuff but I am just glad to be back in work, there is only so much Spanish hotel TV you can watch, the B&B I'm in doesn't even have Sky, tragic.

Anyway I met my new boss, he said his name was Esteban Bouza, he seemed like a nice bloke but to be honest I didn't really understand a word he said for the most part, I did understand that I would be getting around £575 a week and I would only have to work part-time, pretty decent although I am sure Susan will find ways of filling up the time.

Susan will be flying out soon so we can go look at villas for us to live in, I'm not looking forward to it, we have already argued about how many bedrooms it should have, she wants a spare room so friends and family can stay, I couldn't think of anything worse then Susan's mam and dad coming to stay.. or even worse, Ricky.

Anyway I'm off to meet the team, I'm a bit nervous but I have been practicing my Spanish in my spare time here, hopefully they won't think I am too much of a ****.




 
Club Overview


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It doesn't seem like a bad little club here, not exactly Manchester United but everyone has to start somewhere, my first ever job on the radio was broadcasting for this hospital radio station back in Manchester and I ended up hosting on XFM in London, not quite the Man United of the Radio broadcasting world but you get what I mean.

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After I met the team..


Squad

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I met the lads today, they seem like a good bunch, I don't know what they thought of me mind, I kept hearing em say 'cabeza' and 'naranja' whenever they looked at me, I phoned Susan after to ask her what it meant and she said she didn't know. I googled it and it turns out they were saying my head was like an orange, I text Ricky to tell him, he sent me a picture of an orange with the word 'Mong' written on it.


Key Players

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I watched 'em have a kick about for a bit and these two stood out for me, I think Pablo is gonna be an important player in the midfield, he looked like a quiet lad but a hard worker and he had a bit of fancy footwork. My assistant told me that Diego was the best defender at the the club, I could see it but I will wait to see how everyone does as the weeks go on.


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Before I arrived..



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Not a bad start really, although apparently when my boss asked me if we can finish in the top half, I agreed. I have also found out since that that'll be ****** 'ard considering we only just ****** come up in the league, I recon I might need to brush up on me Spanish a little more.

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