The Alfa Romeo Metaphor

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Weakened Dons waxed by Rochdale

Duff
4 October 2014 19:01

I've been sitting on this train back to London reflecting on the kick to the gentleman's sausage that Rochdale just gave us. This match was always going to be tough. I recognize this, but does the 6-1 shellacking tell us something. Anything?

Thrash is despondent. Verging on incoherent. It's understandable. He traveled 5 hours to watch his beloved Dons get mauled.

But I think it's important note several things.

First, Mark Tomlinson had a terrible time today. He fouled in the box and gave away the penalty that ended up being the game winning goal. But it was when he came off that the floodgates opened. And he had to come off. He was about to get sent off.

But it says something that when our 16 year old midfielder comes off, our defense is so exposed. It says something about how special Mark is. It also doesn't reflect well on our other central midfielders and their defensive abilities.

Secondly, the score would have been worse but for Chris Dunn. Rochdale's Coulibaly was alone against Dunn 5 times, I think. If we play defense in from of him, we've got a keeper who will steal points for us.

Thirdly, we really miss Daniel Barlaser. Yet another teenager critical to our success. Without him, we seem incapable of keeping possession. Without him pulling the strings, Michael Smith is nearly useless -- mainly because he never gets the ball. Neither Gregory or Pepper seem capable of filling his shoes.
 
Gwen and I had dinner but I had to get up early so she went out with her friends and I went home. I wasn't very talkative or very good company anyway.

I couldn't sleep. Should I have gone with a 451 formation, plugged up the midfield? Was I naive to think I could play 442 away from home against a decent side? Was I overconfident? Were we overconfident?

More accurately, was I stupid to play 442 with such a weakened defense? Shouldn't I have sat back in a 451 and hope for luck, play for the draw?

How badly had I damaged Cameron Dummigan's confidence?

Why the **** wasn't Matteo Nole getting the ball? He didn't have a cross in the last match. Francomb and Johnson put some crosses in, just didn't do a good job at it.

At some point, I drifted off ...
 
Sunday, 5 October 2014 8 AM

"How do our two upcoming opponents stack up, Lil?" I asked to kick off the coaches meeting on Sunday morning.

"Brentford is playing really well and have no major injury worries," he replied. "With our weakened defense, Tuesday is going to be tough. They have fast wingers, decent enough forwards and a solid defense."

"So stick a fork in us, we're done?" I quipped.

"That's one way to look at it," he replied. "But if we can hold them, we might be able to generate some chances on the counter."

View attachment 410536"What about York?" I asked.

"This is where things start to look better," Lil replied. "They've lost three of their last four League Two matches. Our injury and suspension woes are nothing compared to how short-handed York is. We should be able to exploit this. They've lost the last two league matches and are thin up top and in the midfield. While their defense is intact, I'm not overly impressed. Speed kills and ours will definitely injure, severely harm and even kill them."

"So I'm thinking we play a 451 against both teams," I said. "First because we're outgunned against Brentford and two because I want to stop York first before we consider the other end of the pitch."

"I want to try something odd against York. I want Matteo Nole in the left-sided central midfield role. I want him attacking with speed through the middle. Smith is up top. With Nole on the ball, I want Loveridge at left midfielder. I want him to have the liberty to roam. I want him and Matteo on the ball racing at the York defense."

"You all are sure that Fenlon and Thackray final match suspended is against Brentwood in the Johnstone Paint Cup, right?"

Everyone nodded.

"Good, cuz we'll really need them against York."

"Injury report?"

"Some good news, boss," Physio Jon Whitney said. "Danny Barlaser should be available to sit on the bench for the Cambridge match week after next. Andy Frampton is still two to three weeks away. The surgery is healing nicely, but it just takes time."

"Thanks, Jon," I said. "We're going to start with stretching, take a nice jog then do killers. We always do killers the morning after we embarrass ourselves. Dave and Jon, you'll monitor everyone's well-being."

Dave Wilson was my fitness trainer.
 
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Johnstone's Paint Trophy 2nd Round: AFC Wimbledon v. Brentford FC

If I wasn't missing Captain Andy Frampton, Kris Thackray, James Fenlon and Cameron Dummigan (with the Northern Ireland U19s), I think we'd have a chance. I also decided to give Daniel Lincoln another start.

GK: Daniel Lincoln
D: George Francomb, Reuben Hazell, Pat Baldwin, Ben Harrison
M: Mark Tomlinson, Simon Johnson, Adam Pepper, Steven Gregory, Matteo Nole
F: James Loveridge

We only get 5 subs: Chris Dunn (GK), Harry Pell (M), Drissa Dabre (M), Michael Smith (F), Jack Redshaw (F)

Francomb drops to right fullback and teenager Ben Harrison is in at left back. Mark Tomlinson is the defensive midfielder and I told Steven Gregory to get stuck in as he often just won't challenge anyone for the ball.

I had to choose between Loverboy and Smith. I thought Lover would be better on the counter.

And we got off to the worst start ...

A pass up to their forward Marcello Trotta, Haz steps up to challenge, Trotta spins past Haz races goalward and curls a shot past Lincoln.

0-1

3 minutes in and we're already down a goal. Sigh. So much for my strategy to hold them and hit them on the counter.

Here's the epitome of what kind of night we had. In the 15th minute, Baldwin stepped forward and leapt to challenge Brentford's big forward Ryan Taylor. Baldwin won the header, but right to a Brentford player, Pat Reeves. Reeves sent a pass into the gap that Baldwin left behind him and Taylor beat Baldwin to the pass and raced goalward.

Lincoln made a great save and beat the ball out for a throw in.

In the 19th minute, Brentford's Adam Forshaw raced down our left flank. Baldwin raced over to help Harrison. Forshaw beat both of them. Haz read the play well and sprinted over to shut down Forshaw. Sadly, Forshaw beat Haz to the line and zipped a pass into the middle. Francomb, Tomlinson, Pepper and Gregory couldn't get a foot to it. One of those seeing eye passes.

Our tormentor for the day, Trotta got a foot to it.

0-2

Oof mother****ing Da.

We took our first shot in the 24th minute. We won a corner and Francomb whipped in a cross that they headed back out toward Francomb. George sent the ball right back in and Nole volleyed a shot right at the keeper.

We managed to hold them for the rest of the half, but mainly because Trotta missed several golden opportunities to increase the lead.

I got so frustrated with Steven Gregory's poor positioning and unwillingness to challenge for any ball, that I yanked him in the 33rd minute and put Harry Pell on.

"I realized that we're getting outplayed by a team that is second in League One," I said to begin my half time talk. "But our fans paid money to watch us. They want to be entertained. What they just saw out there was not good. Let's give them something to cheer about in the second half."

"I have faith that you defenders can hold them if you keep your shape," I continued. "When we get the ball, play the short simple pass. Alright?"

They all nodded.

From the kickoff, we worked the ball down the left and set up Matteo for a shot. The problem is Matteo isn't much of a shooter. He hit it right into the keeper's gut.

But it gave me an idea about how to play against York. Why not play Loveridge out on the left? Matteo isn't creating much as a winger, but he can play as a central midfielder, too. Loverboy can score and we seem to be able to set up our left winger for scoring chances. This was something worth considering.

In the 50th minute, Baldwin got caught ball-watching and Taylor filled his pants instead of increasing Brentford's lead with a shot that dribbled past the post.

Lincoln thumped the resulting goal kick well over the center line. They won the header and got to the loose ball and sent the ball out to their left midfielder Angelo Balanta. Balanta raced down our right flank, beat George and whipped in a cross. Baldwin cleared out the cross. Brentford's Romaine Sawyers controlled the ball and launched a cruise missile towards the upper right corner of the net.

Daniel Lincoln leapt and not only got to the shot, he held the ball. The crowd went nuts. What a save.

I turned and looked at Rachubka. Rachubka had his "OMG" face on. We both looked at each other with the recognition that this kid had some real potential.

After 60 minutes of getting no service, I replaced Loverboy with Smith.

Brentford kept creating good chances, but their finishing continued to fail them. We looked toothless, but kept trying.

In the 76th minute, Ben Harrison won a header right to Harry Pell. Pell saw a gigantic gap between the Brentford center back's and sent a through ball into the path of Smith.

Smith coolly rolled a pass past the advancing Brentford keeper and we were suddenly in a match in which we'd been thoroughly out-played.

1-2

We never got that break, bit of luck or created much of anything. The epitome of this occurred in the 80th minute. Tomlinson won a tackle and Pell got to the loose ball. Pell tried to play a ball up to Smith. Unfortunately, Tomlinson had just gotten up from the sliding tackle he'd just made. Pell kicked the ball right into Mark's **** cheeks. No, I mean that literally.

The ball caromed to Brentford's striker Taylor who played Trotta in. Lincoln made a fantastic save to deny Trotta his hat trick.

View attachment 410351Trotta finally got his well-deserved hat trick in the 89th minute.

From a free kick out on our right, Baldwin let him get free. He got to the low free kick first and flicked the ball past Lincoln.

Trotta's contract is up in June. If don't offer him a new contract, I'll sign him. He's young and that good.

"Congratulations, Marcelo," I said in Italian after I tracked him down on the pitch after the whistle. "If Fulham are stupid enough to not sign you, I will offer you one. We'll be in League One next year."
View attachment 410345
"Thank you," he replied non-committally.

I applauded the fans and walked into our changing room.

"Listen up," I said once everyone was in the room. "I'm not all that worried about this result. You all played much better in the second half. You gave the fans something to cheer about."

"A bounce here or a break there or not playing a through ball off of Mark's **** and we might have tied this baby up," I continued.

That got some chuckles.

"You all need to be refocused as of tomorrow morning," I said. "We play York this Saturday. Think about that."

"We're getting Fens and Thacks back and Lil tells me that York are riddled with injuries," I continued. "We need to get over these last two losses. How we respond against York will tell us what kind of team we are."

"See you all at noon tomorrow."
 
Friday, 10 October 2014

Pat Baldwin pulled up lame during training. Whitney ran over and Baldwin pointed to his groin. Everyone stopped what they were doing and walked over.

"I just felt something rip," Pat explained to Whitney as I got within hearing range.

****.

Whitney poked, prodded and asked questions.

"Let's get you changed and get an X-ray," Whitney said. Then turning an looking at me said: "Best case scenario: groin strain. Worst case: hernia."

My face met my palm. What the **** was I going to do now? Ben Harrison was going to have to play tomorrow.

"Congratulations, Ben," I said putting my arm around Harrison. "You're starting tomorrow."
 
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League Two: York City FC v. AFC Wimbledon

After our horrific performance against Rochdale, Chairman Erik Samuelson approved an overnight hotel stay. The compromise is we took the bus to York. So we drove up Friday evening. No big deal. So we can't have the excuse of staying on the bus like against Rochdale.

View attachment 410323So after sleeping in, I wandered York. I checked out the Cathedral and York Castle. Gorgeous day, too.

I don't know about my players, but I was rested and relaxed as we boarded the bus at the hotel to head over to Bootham Crescent. The stadium isn't the newest or in the best condition, but the showers and toilets work. This is always a good thing.

Reuben Hazell makes me so nervous when he plays in the middle that I'm pairing teenager Ben Harrison with Thacks.

View attachment 410322And this line-up is a curveball that I'm sure nobody expected:

Subs: Daniel Lincoln (GK), Simon Johnson (M), Steven Gregory (M), Drissa Dabre (M), Harry Pell (M), Jack Midson (F), Jack Redshaw (F)

"Alright," I said getting everyone's attention. "We have an opportunity here today. We know York are really short-handed because of injury. We all know how poorly we played last Saturday against Rochdale. Let's set things right today."

"Matteo, I want you to attack from the middle today," I said in Italian then repeated in English.

"Loveridge," I continued. "You have full liberty to roam where you want. When you can get forward and into the left channel, take it."

"Let's keep the ball and play short passes," I said. "I have faith in you defenders to shut them down. I have faith that there's plenty of offense coming today out of the midfield. And Smith, do your thang, baby."

Despite taking the bus up on Friday to avoid a horror start again, my face met my palm in the 3rd minute.

Their left fullback played a Hollywood ball at the halfline out toward their right midfielder Craig Westcarr. Westcarr out-jumped Fenlon and headed the ball to their right-sided forward Paul Hayes. Hayes muscled over Harrison took a couple of steps and smashed a shot past Dunn.

1-0

"YOU LIKED THAT HOTEL STAY?" I hollered at my players as they walked forward for the restart. "YOU LIKE YOUR CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST? YOU LIKE YOUR LAZY DAY SPENT IN YOUR HOTELS ROOMS? EVER WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN?"

I think they got the message. We brought the ball up the field and Smith got hauled down 20 yards out in the middle.

Francomb teed up the ball just how he liked it and surveyed the wall and the keeper. The ref blew his whistle and his shot got over the wall and hit the place where the crossbar and post meet and out for a goal kick.

York brought the ball up and Westcarr beat Fenlon on the dribble and hammers a shot that beat Dunn. It hit the post and bounced straight up the middle. Thacks cleared it over the half line and onto the roof of the stadium. He then turned and screamed at Fenlon to pull his head out.

We kept the ball for a moment or two and Smith got fouled 20 yards out and right. Francomb hoofe the free kick high.

In the 9th minute, Fenlon got beat by Westcarr again. He whipped in a back post special that their right midfielder headed off the crossbar. Once again, Thacks cleared it and yelled at Fenlon.

"KEEP HIM IN FRONT OF YOU," I yelled at Fenlon. "HE'S NOT FASTER THAN YOU. KEEP HIM IN FRONT OF YOU."

His teammates gave Fenlon a break and kept possession of the ball for a while. We also kept the ball in the York end.

In the 16th minute, York finally broke out of their half, but they tried a through ball that went straight to Dunn. He threw the ball to Pepper who shifted it over to Nole who took off across the half line and as defender's converge snuck a pass to Smith.

Smith received the ball and spun. And he waited. Then he flicked a little pass between the center back and ball-watching left back. George Francomb smashed a shot that York's keeper got a hand to but couldn't keep out.

1-1

Now that was the kind of response I was looking for.

And we kept the pressure up. Loverboy forced a nice save and hit the post on another. Smith shot twice as well: once high; once right at the keeper. Nole waffled two weak shots right at the keeper as well.

We were finally rewarded for wave after wave of attacks in the 41st minute.

Their center back rolled a lazy pass toward his midfielder in the center circle. Nole raced in, intercepted the pass and sprinted at the static defense. Smith drifted into the channel and Nole got him the ball, Smith spun and hammered a low shot into the side netting.

1-2

"WELL DONE! WELL DONE!" I applauded my players.

I nearly had a brain aneurism seconds later as Haz nicely intercepted a pass destined for their left midfielder but then rolled a lazy pass toward Tomlinson in the middle. This was the exact same thing that the Minstermen had just done to gift us our goal.

Their midfielder intercepted the ball and fed their forward Hayes. He played a ball behind the ball-watching Fenlon and Westcarr was in alone. Westcarr shot weakly right at Dunn.

Haz apologized to his teammates for his pass.

The football Gods were smiling on us today.

"I'm pleased with how we're playing, keep it up," I said once everyone was in the dressing room. "They can't handle Smith, Lovers and Matteo running at them. Keep it up."

"Listen," I continued. "We had some shaky moments out there defensively, but I have faith that you guys know what to do. No more ball-watching, stay tight, stay compact, work for each other. Clear?"

My defenders nodded.

From the kickoff, Loveridge broke down the left flank, cut the ball back to get on his preferred right foot and lasered a cross in for Smith. Smith one-timed the shot, but a desperate defender lunged in and blocked the shot.

And we didn't give the Minstermen much during the first fifteen minutes of the second half.

Tomlinson got carded in the 49th minute. He'll miss our next match. Thankfully, our next opposition is Cambridge and maybe I can convince Steven Gregory to tackle someone between now and then.

Unfortunately, our offense always ended with Nole taking a weak long range shot.

"NO MORE SHOOTING, MATTEO," I yelled in Italian after he'd taken his third shot. "FEED THE FORWARD AND WINGERS INSTEAD."

He waved an acknowledgement.

Dunn made outstanding save after outstanding save to preserve our lead.

First in the 63rd when Hayes broke down the left flank and had time to assess his options. He chose the trailer. Midfielder Emmitt Delfouneso hit a low shot destined for just inside the post but Dunn got a fingertip to it and redirected it onto the post.

Smith took a little pressure off of Dunn by increasing our lead in the 71st.

In the 70th minute, I replaced Francomb with Simon Johnson. Fresh legs and all that.

Johnson's first touch was a sprint down the right wing culminating in a inch perfect cross to Smith who side-footed
his 8th league goal past their forlorn keeper.

In the 78th, Haz got caught ball-watching and the York left midfielder Michael Doughty was in alone with a chance to equal things up for the Minstermen. Once again, Dunn was up to the task and blocked his shot out for a corner.

The footballing Gods were surely smiling down upon us, but how many more times would we need Dunn to bail us out? Well, one time more.

View attachment 410312In the 84th minute, Fenlon stripped the ball off Westcarr. It hopped up and Fenlon decided to hoof it forward. The problem was he hoofed high and towards the middle and not particularly far up the pitch.

A York player won the header and a York player gathered up the ball. In a panic my players collapsed inward and toward the top of the box. This was the correct response. Unfortunately, Fenlon compounded his initial poor choice by not noticing the York replacement striker Ryan Bowman drift behind him.

Delfouneso played a ball behind Fenlon and Bowman was in alone on Dunn. Dunn raced out and blocked the shot out for a corner.

I replaced Nole and Pepper with Harry Pell and Drissa Dabre in the 85th. Both Matteo and Adam were gassed and I figured the fresh legs in midfield would stop York from playing.

I was right.

"Well done, well done!" I said after we were all in the changing room. "Great response to last Saturday. Great response from going down to an early goal. You showed real character today. Let's get showered and out of here."

I checked the other scores once we were on the bus.

View attachment 410311
 
Quarter mark of the season

Here we are, one quarter of the way through the season and top of the League Two table.

View attachment 410115We're second in scoring behind Rochdale in scoring. You may recall the 6 goals we gifted them a few weeks back.

Of the 16 goals we've conceded, 11 came in our two losses. 6-1 v. Rochdale and 5-2 v. Scunthorpe.

James Loveridge and Michael Smith lead the league in scoring.

View attachment 410112

And here's the players sorted by assists on the left and sorted by ratings on the right.

View attachment 410095View attachment 410088

And we're also the dirtiest team in the league. Heh.

View attachment 410085
 
Classic Wimbledon!

I know, the Crazy Gang II, right?

My teams often lead whatever league in cards. It's cuz I set my fullbacks, defensive (ball winner) midfielder as well as any central defender who plays really soft to 'Tackle Harder.'

Furthermore, in the Opposition screen, I always set it so we 'Tackle Harder' the strikers. If they have three attacking midfielders and a lone striker, I set it so all four get the Special Sauce.

I'm surprised that I don't give up penalties more often.

My players don't get red carded all that often. Cuz as soon as they get carded, I set them to 'Ease Off Tackles.' I've found that players seem to still be able to tackle well even though they're on a card.
 
You should get him with your backroom staff, would love to watch the touchline if you play Chelsea in a cup game then :)
 
12 October 2014, noonish

"I love it when a plan comes together," I said to my assembled coaches.

"Wait," said goalkeeper coach Paul Rachubka. "What ****ing movie was that from?"

Everyone shrugged.

"Not a movie," I replied. "The A Team, TV show."

"I remember that show," Rachubka face palmed.

"Instead of reminiscing about your misspent childhoods," Assistant Manager Sean Hankin. "Could we possibly talk about soccer?"

"Your just jealous because you weren't raised on crappy TV," Rachubka replied.

"Anyhoo," I interjected. "My tactics worked."

"****!" exclaimed Hanks.

"What?" I asked.

"Wools forgot to bring the medal we got for you," he replied.

"Sorry," added Wools.

"Oh **** off," I said. "Lil, please save this meeting."

"Right," said Lil Fucillo, my Chief Scout. "Cambridge United, our next opponents, are in 16th place. Their top scorer with 5 goals, Liam Hughes is out injured. They're poor away from home and have played 442 in every match."

"Hughe's replacement, Connor Wilkinson, is a lot like our Michael Smith except without the scoring," Lil continued. "He holds the ball up well. I think we should be worried about him distributing it."

"Alright, thanks Lil," I said.

"I say we stay with the same 451," Wools said. "What with Tomlinson suspended and we all know how Gregory hasn't convinced any of us that he'll tackle anyone."

"Yeah," Hanks agreed. "This way our defense is protected as he's physically standing in front of it. Or something."

There was a murmur of agreement.

"Well, that was easy," I said. "Anything else?"

"Fine, I'll just go home if nobody cares," the physio complained.

"What is it now, Whitney?" I asked.

"Well, Barlaser will be fit enough for the bench next Saturday," he said. "Captain Andy won't be back for two weeks, I think. Baldwin will be a month maybe five weeks."

"You and Wilson come up with any ideas why they'd both got hernias?" I asked.

"No, sorry," Whitney and fitness coach Dave Wilson chimed.

"It's like this," Wilson said. "Lumpy pitches equal twisted ankles. Rock hard pitches equal shin splint, sore knees and sore hips and even back strains. Boggy pitches can cause groin strains. Sports hernias happen occasionally to older players but I can't figure why two in one month."

"I may have just struck on it," Whitney said. "He you met their wives? They're both quite beautiful. Maybe they ..."

He was drowned out with a chorus of STFU.
 
Monday, 13 October 2014

"Enrico? Is that you?"

"Esteban, how is everything?"

"Me, great! Word got out that the manager got his shave here. Business has never been better. Albert Dalmau, Aimar and couple of the new players come here for their shaves."

"So you're still getting all the inside scoop on the club then?" I asked.

"Oh, yes. But enough about me, how is London?" he replied.

"The suburb of Kingston-Upon-Thames has been treating me well. I haven't found a barber, yet, though."

"You must! You must look good in London."

"Okay, I will. What's the latest rumors with the Yellow Submarine?"

"We're doing quite well, so consequently everyone is fearful that the ownership group will demand salary cuts," Esteban complained.

"Hasn't the Ramon de Carranza been paid off, yet?"

"I think so, but somehow we're still losing lots of euros. That's the impression I'm getting."

"By contrast, Wimbledon is owned by the fans and is financial stable," I said. "It literally is night and day in comparison."

"Are you still heartbroken over Ana Maria?"

"No," I replied. "A model recognized me and introduced herself." I told him the story of how I met Gwen.

"You Italians are the lovers!," Esteban replied. "And I'm so glad Wimbledon are doing well. I've founded the Cadiz Wimbledon fan club. Thank you for the scarf and shirt."

"Ciao, my friend."

"Hasta La Vista!"
 
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