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The Baggies; Beating The Drop.

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Max

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Apr 14, 2009
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'Sup.

Well I got FM last week and I'm starting to get into it. Thought I may aswell make one last story before the blog system comes in place, and then probably transfer it all to that when it comes around. So yeah, West Brom is the team, and this is the story. Peace. x

P.S - Font won't always be this small lawlz.


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Di Matteo retires due to severe crabs!


Di Matteo looking devastated as he finds out the news.


West Brom fans were left in shock this morning as they awoke to the news that they're manager, Roberto Di Matteo, had resigned. Many fans, journalists, and neutralists, all questioned whether the reason behind the resignation was due to a fallout with the Chairman, Jeremy Peace, but that was not the case. After complaints of severe itching in the pubic area, West Brom's physio, Mark Gillet, recommended Di Matteo should see a specialist and address the problem, as it was that severe he could not walk properly. At first they thought it was just pubic chicken pox, but it turned out to be a severe case of crabs. Severe crabs. Di Matteo's pubes were given 3 months to live and Di Matteo was quoted saying..

Di Matteo said:
After much consideration, and talks with my family and friends, I have decided I must resign as manager of West Brom to spend quality time with my pubes, and therefore treasure the time I have left with them. I am sincerely sorry to all West Brom fans, and anyone connected to the Football Club. I would also like to apologise to my wife, as she has also been diagnosed with crabs. Thank you very much to all West Brom fans, staff, players, and to the prostitute. You have all made me a very happy man in my time here.

That is all, I appreciate you all hearing me out. Good-bye.



Max 'free of crabs' King takes charge!


The gormless **** in his natural environment.

16 year old local pimp Max King was shockingly appointed the new West Brom manager this morning, with West Brom fans completely outraged and fuming at the decision by Chairman, Jeremy Peace, to appoint such a inexperienced guy as manager of a Premier League side.

Jeremy Peace was quoted on the appointment saying..

Jeremy Peace said:
I really don't see why everyone is moaning and ******** like this to be honest. Max King is a great manager, I watched him play Football Manager 2011, he's better than Di Matteo was at it! I think we should all just give him a chance. He's young and he's got a lot of knowledge about football, for example.. urm.. he knows how to kick it and stuff.. yeah, he can kick it! Therefore making him God. So give him a chance Baggies fans, believe me, it'll be extremely worth it.
After Jeremy Peace's words of wisdom couldn't be taken seriously by 90% of the public, we caught up with Max King to question the new man in charge..

Interviewer said:
Max.. well firstly welcome to the Premier League!
Max King said:
Cheers! I'm looking forward to the challenge, hopefully we'll survive this season. I've already spoke to the board about what I wanted, they gave me £4million which I'm pretty chuffed about. I've already told Jerome Thomas and Abdoulaye Meite that their both **** and they can go, and Thomas took it quite well.. sadly Meite broke my leg but I should be fine. But yeah, I have important managerial issues that need attending such as urm.. stuff, so if you wouldn't mind going away, that would be immense. Peace.
Clearly West Brom is becoming a bit of a circus, with neither Chairman or Manager taking the club seriously.. What will happen to West Brom next!?

Come back for more to find out..




Yeah so as you can see this story is not an uber serious one. I'm just bored and feel like making one that will hopefully make people laugh. If you don't enjoy the material I write about or find it offensive, then please, feel free to tell me..

I won't care and I'll probably laugh at you/abuse you but yeah can if you want.
:) :wub:

 

Bodell

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Nov 14, 2009
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Lol, brilliant OP mate, shame stories don't get showed in the recent threads. Hope it gets the recognition it deserves :D
 

SamScfc

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Jun 13, 2009
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Don't really follow stories that much, partly because they're not in the recent threads, and because people take them too seriously, but this should be decent! :D
 

Max

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Apr 14, 2009
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great humour and going to be a great story
Cheers! :D

Lol, brilliant OP mate, shame stories don't get showed in the recent threads. Hope it gets the recognition it deserves :D
Haa, yeah hopefully more people will see it soon!

Don't really follow stories that much, partly because they're not in the recent threads, and because people take them too seriously, but this should be decent! :D
Cheers Sammy boy! Yeah can't be asked being epically serious about it tbh. So may aswell make it sound as stupid as possible! :D

Loool. Loving this mate
Haha ;)

Sort of looks like an ugly Iain Dowie....
*******! :'(

Woop Woop go baggies!

Good luck mate ;)
Haa. I miss you Tiraths :wub:

So yeah here's the next update.. :)

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King brings in the talent and kicks out the ****!

West Brom have already gone through many changes this season, with a loss of a manager due to severe crabs, a chairman gone crazy who thinks a 16 year old is 'God', and a new manager who isn't even of legal age to drink yet is the new manager! But, good news is on the arisen it seems as Max King completed four new signings for the club in the opening 3 weeks of his reign as manager, also shipping out one or two players on the way.

So.. who has Max King brought to the Premier League!?


Buonanotte getting ready to plough the ball!

First up is the highly rated young Argentinian Diego Buonanotte. The playmaker was captured by King on a season long loan, although no option to make the deal permanent was put into the loan contract, probably meaning this is just a one season stunt for Diego at West Brom. Diego Buonanotte has been at Argentinian side River for the whole of his career, starting 79 games for the club, and also grabbing 23 goals in that time. Not a bad record at all to carry around with you.

We asked the gaffer himself about this signing though to get his point of view..

Max King said:
Well I've obviously signed him 'cause he's good. What else is there to explain really?.. What affect will he have on the team? I don't ******* know, do I look like mystic meg you *******!?
Not the most successful interview, eh? Here's what Buonanotte had to say!

Diego Buonanotte said:
No comprendé?
Interviewer said:
Your not even spanish?
Diego Buonanotte said:
**** you!
Buonanotte is now reportedly in hiding.


Next up is Vaclav Kadlec..


As you can see.. he really does look like a paedo.


This young striker is highly rated within his home country, and has a real chance to make a name for himself in England now. He may not necessarily play a big part in the team this season, but he is definitely a player that with the right coaching, and a bit of luck, he could turn into a world class striker.

We once again tried contacting Max King..

Interviewer said:
*Knocks door and enters* Er excuse me Max we were just wondering if we could have a quick inter.. OH GOD WOAH!
Max King said:
Can't you see I'm trying to having a ****** wank here!? Now jog on!
We didn't bother with Kadlec after that incident, as we were really quite traumatised..


Yeah so anyway. Here's the next one.. Anthony Annan!


Is it possible the new signing has a.. **** fetish!?

Anthony Annan. A very good young defensive midfielder who really gets the job done. If he stays fit and plays well this season, West Brom can quite easily survive in my opinion. Of course, he won't be a goalscorer, but he might save them conceding quite a few.

Max King was questioned on this transfer..

Interviewer said:
So Max.. Was Anthony always one of your main targets in this window?
Max King said:
Yeah I guess so.. It was more the fact I scored an overhead kick with him on FIFA and just wanted to see if he could do it in real life! :D
Interviewer said:
Oh.. right..
We caught up with Anthony Annan afterwards, who actually spoke really fluent English!

Interviewer said:
Anthony, how does it feel to be in the best league in the world!?
Anthony Annan said:
Yes.. it is quite something special.. I am very proud to be at West Brom and can't wait to play my first game..
Interviewer said:
Great to hear! I must say, your the first normal interview we've had so far out of the new signings haha!
Anthony Annan said:
Oh I see.. Well there is nothing to worry about with me my friend.. Now if you wouldn't mind handing over your wallet and car keys before we end this interview then that would be brilliant mate.
Interviewer said:
Ha really good joke Anthony, had me going there! Now I'll see y - OH MY GOD PUT THE GUN DOWN YOU CRAZY *******!

Quite a mixed bunch, eh?

And lastly.. Oswaldo Sanchez.


Oswaldo losing balance while standing.. What a brilliant keeper he'll be oO)

At the age of 36, Sanchez brings quite a bit of experience, and influence, to the West Brom setup. This could possibly mean a place on the bench from now on for 24 year old Scott Carson, who pretty much is a ****** anyway, and can't catch balls half the time.

We couldn't find Max or Oswaldo for interviews. What a shame.. <)


So.. that's all the people coming in. Who's gone out!?

Well Jerome Thomas and Abdoulaye Meite have both been sold to other clubs. Thomas left for Ipswich for a fee of £1.6m, which will be paid over the next 48 months, and Meite has joined Villareal for £1m, which has been paid upfront!

Thomas refused to comment on the situation, but Meite wasn't so quiet about things..

Abdoulaye Meite said:
You tell Max King, when I next see him, I will break his other furkin leg! The little *******!
Max King has reportedly hired Nigel De Jong as a bodyguard.

Oh yeah.. and some Chris Wood kid went out on loan. :)

So here are the proof of all these transfers..




Hope your enjoying so far! :D

Next updates will be the August update, it may be tonight, but it depends how busy I am and if I feel like updating. If not tonight then it will be on Sunday as I'm sleeping at my girlfriends Saturday night.

Thanks for reading! :D :wub:
 
I

iNickStuff

Guest
Hah, OP made me lol.

Nice to see that you are back. Looking forward to this. :)
 

miskell99

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We've had reporter based stories, players view stories, diary based stories and now the first comedy. It will either be a great success or great failure. As you are brilliant at stories im sure it will be a great success
 

Max

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Thanks for all the likes on the OP :)

In the process of playing my first few games now so I should get an update in tonight :D
 
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