The 'Chuck Norris' thread

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Chuck Norris doesn't approve of Chuck Norris jokes/facts, so you should all stop.
 
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
 
The Naylor said:
Filming on location for Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris brought a stillborn baby lamb back to life by giving it a prolonged beard rub. Shortly after the farm animal sprang back to life and a crowd had gathered, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the animal, breaking its neck, to remind the crew once more that Chuck giveth, and the good Chuck, he taketh away.
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Quality.


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If you spell 'Chuck Norris' in Scrabble you automatically win, forever.
 
Chuck Norris once ran a marathon backwards just to see what second place looked like.
 
However, if you are playing Chuck Norris at Scrabble, the word Chuck Norris will not get you a win.
 
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognises the element of surprise
 
Chuck Norris and Superman once fought each other on a bet. The loser had to start wearing his underwear on the outside of his pants.

Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the sh*t out of it

When Chuck Norris wants a steak, cows volunteer. It's just easier that way.
 
there are only 4 horsemen of the apocalypse because chuck norris is going to walk
 
Thought this was 2011? Then I saw the Chuck Norris thread. 10 years to late.
 
Chuck Norris is a girl.

I'd take him on. And win.
 
Chuck Norris once killed 2 stones with one bird
When the going gets tough, the tough gets Chuck Norris
 
Paddy McCourt > Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris knows no limits. Paddy knows them, he just chooses to ignore them.

Paddy taught Chuck Norris how to style a beard and perform the 'roundhouse kick'.

Paddy once got into a scuffle with Chuck Norris over a KFC Krush'Em. Norris has walked like that ever since.

Don Vito Corleone made Paddy an offer he couldn't refuse. Paddy refused.

El Hadji Diouf once spat at Paddy. It landed in his own face.

Paddy told Ibrahimovic to start ******** prostitutes, grow a pony-tail and acquire a Geordie accent; he's now worth £35million.

The only reason Liverpool's £30m bid for Carol was rejected is because he has a night out planned with Paddy in Newcastle in February

Paddy was just overheard referring to Diouf's hair: "...it looks like a hun just had her period on his head".

Torres was only worth £12m until a few weeks ago when Paddy was heard saying "Torres? Yeah he's a good kid". He's now worth £50m.

Lennon told Paddy to stop drinking, smoking and work on his fitness. Paddy gave him a 6 match ban.

Paddy doesn't have to agree to 'Terms and Conditions'.

Messi has grown some stubble as a tribute to Paddy.

If Paddy was in a wheelchair, he'd still use the stairs.

The only contest Paddy has ever lost was a **** contest he had with El Hadje Diouf.

Paddy just signed a deal with Rockstar Games to be the lead character in GTA: Derry.

Paddy can officially tweet on Facebook.
 
When I made this thread about a year ago I was told it was spam and got infracted.

Then my thread happened and everyone hates Gregor now. How come this one is allowed to stay open?
 
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