Sly Old Fox
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Chapter 21 – Playground Stuff
February ‘21
In a sign the pressure of top-flight management is getting to him, Neil Lennon rings me again to talk about McQueen’s lack of football. We’ve already done this Neil. Twice! I speak slowly and calmly explain again that McQueen is just not up to it. His strength may have doubled, but that’s still only Strength: 2. Lennon isn’t having it this time and gets up on his high horse about what he expected from this loan move. In a sign the pressure of bottom-flight management is getting to me, I snap back.
I’m not going to risk my own team’s performance by giving him games if he doesn’t deserve them.
Neil is ‘really unhappy’ that I’m not honouring the agreement and ‘will think twice about loaning you players in the future’. I think I’ve made enemies with Neil Lennon. Whoops.
The disharmony in the club is growing, as “Player Liaison Officer” Andy Robertson (he’s a local bloke who doesn’t work and hangs around the club to be close to what he perceives as the glamour of the place – in the end Jones gave him this nonsensical ‘job’ to keep him busy and out of his way) reports that rubbish left back Jamie ‘Temerity’ Mills is “unhappy at your failure to find him a new club as promised”. Nobody wanted him mate! I was offering him around for zero pounds. I literally can’t give him away. Andy nods sagely. “although he recognises attempts have been made, he has now reached the point where he may no longer be willing to speak to you”. Oh well, woe is me Robertson. I immediately offer Mills a mutual termination of his contract to which I receive no response. Of course; he’s not talking to me. Jesus wept, is this the under 10s team?
Paul Brindle Fly is also unhappy, in his case that I was unable to find anyone willing to take him on loan. While we’re at it Paul, why not let me know you’re disappointed I haven’t got you a 6 figure sponsorship deal or solved world hunger? His next move is to request a transfer. An empty symbolic gesture given that A) the transfer window is now closed, B) he has 6 months left on his contract, so what’s the point and C) nobody is interested Brindlefly. Request granted. He pretends to be highly offended when I offer him a mutual termination. What’s the matter Paul, don’t think anyone else will cover your wages? Because we both know they won’t, don’t we?
In better news Mooney once again takes Player and Young Player of the Month awards. Not dedicated to me this time. Noted. It’s another A+ report card for my monthly performance review from Chairman Jones. Cheers boss.
We did sneak in one signing ourselves, a £0 transfer swoop for limited Cowdenbeath right winger Ryan Ferguson. He’s not very good, but he’s only been given a 4-month contract to the end of the season as cover for Alexandre now that Schiavone is gone. He’s ‘optimistic about his future an Annan’. That’s nice. He has no future here.
Our first game of February is at home to Stenhousemuir (5th) – another team I feel like we’ve played about 85 times. I tell the team they will be anxious to get revenge, which is a very lucky guess based on the response, as although I feel like we’re always playing them, I have no recollection of the most recent result.
Revenge is ours! A comfortable win and a couple of nicely taken goals by Mooney. He really has been a gem of a signing. Wilkie ‘Wonka’ and attacking beanpole Hampl had a good game in the middle, hinting at the possibility of a Watson-less future.
I’m pleased to see our next game is also at home, to the usually obliging Stirling Albion. Go on Stirling, give us some more points.
Clinical finishing and an unwavering commitment to practising corners made the difference in a surprisingly tight game. If you float enough high balls into the box, one of them will land on Creag Little’s head eventually. Currie came off the bench to thrust home a header in the dying minutes, which ended his 10-hour goal drought. Lots of hacking, lots of heading: The Annan Way.
We have two away games to end the month, the first against Edinburgh City (5th). They gave us a 4- 0 spanking earlier in the season, so I’m starting with the scared tactic: The Shield. ‘Lightning’ McQueen has been moaning about playing time again and he’s probably a lost cause, but I give him a go at left back. He won’t be much use going forward, but we won’t be doing much of that anyway.
As much as I love the man-mountain Little at centre back, he does give away a lot of penalties, usually when there’s very little danger. This time, the City player had his back to goal, we had lots of players back, no obvious issues and then Little forgets the rules of the game and throws him to the ground just inside the box. McQueen was rubbish of course. Away games woe.
I get a news flash that Eastbourne Boro have made an offer to sign midfielder Jake Flanigan from Dulwich Hamlet on a free at the end of the season. I remember wanting to sign him at some point, so I quickly table a contract offer, which is apparently good enough to entice him to Annan as the deal is confirmed. His stats are a bit of a mystery, but I’m pretty sure he looked good when I had him more thoroughly scouted earlier in the season. Time will tell. Meet the new Paul Watson.
The news is all too much for one of our more colourful supporters, Colin Fitzpatrick. Lucy, can you pop round and check in on Colin?
Alan sends me something to read while I'm on the bog. Most of my nutrition is still coming from the Solway, so I spend quite a bit of the working day in here.
Fake news. Forhire is not facing a struggle to keep Mills at Annan; Forhire is facing an ongoing struggle to get Mills out of Annan. What was said between us will remain private, all I’ll say is, it was a long time coming. The man is unmanageable. All’s well that ends well, as after his dressing down, Temerity Mills finally accepts a mutual contract termination without any compensation. Good day Sir. The dressing room atmosphere immediately improves to ‘Very Good’. I treat myself to a sweet chilli haggis and large chips from the Solway to celebrate. Sweet, sweet, chilli haggis.
Final game of the month is against Brechin, just behind us in the table in 3rd place.
I think we’ve lost every game we’ve played against Brechin. This was a tight one settled by an early deep cross which found Allan unmarked at the back post. Paul Watson had a particularly poor game for us. He is 35 now and looks shot. Journalist Allan Cameron calls me about once a fortnight to ask when he’s going to ‘find his feet’ and start playing well. Needless to say I have been ignoring his calls. The coaching staff keep telling me he’s in decline, but I think the decline has already happened and he’s lying at the bottom of Form Mountain in a crumpled heap. He adds balance to the midfield in theory, but opposition players run around him as easily as they might a training cone. Next month will be time to give Beanpole Hampl a run of games. The title is now well out of reach, I just want to secure a play-off place and hopefully go into them on a good run of form.
February ‘21
In a sign the pressure of top-flight management is getting to him, Neil Lennon rings me again to talk about McQueen’s lack of football. We’ve already done this Neil. Twice! I speak slowly and calmly explain again that McQueen is just not up to it. His strength may have doubled, but that’s still only Strength: 2. Lennon isn’t having it this time and gets up on his high horse about what he expected from this loan move. In a sign the pressure of bottom-flight management is getting to me, I snap back.
I’m not going to risk my own team’s performance by giving him games if he doesn’t deserve them.
Neil is ‘really unhappy’ that I’m not honouring the agreement and ‘will think twice about loaning you players in the future’. I think I’ve made enemies with Neil Lennon. Whoops.
The disharmony in the club is growing, as “Player Liaison Officer” Andy Robertson (he’s a local bloke who doesn’t work and hangs around the club to be close to what he perceives as the glamour of the place – in the end Jones gave him this nonsensical ‘job’ to keep him busy and out of his way) reports that rubbish left back Jamie ‘Temerity’ Mills is “unhappy at your failure to find him a new club as promised”. Nobody wanted him mate! I was offering him around for zero pounds. I literally can’t give him away. Andy nods sagely. “although he recognises attempts have been made, he has now reached the point where he may no longer be willing to speak to you”. Oh well, woe is me Robertson. I immediately offer Mills a mutual termination of his contract to which I receive no response. Of course; he’s not talking to me. Jesus wept, is this the under 10s team?
Paul Brindle Fly is also unhappy, in his case that I was unable to find anyone willing to take him on loan. While we’re at it Paul, why not let me know you’re disappointed I haven’t got you a 6 figure sponsorship deal or solved world hunger? His next move is to request a transfer. An empty symbolic gesture given that A) the transfer window is now closed, B) he has 6 months left on his contract, so what’s the point and C) nobody is interested Brindlefly. Request granted. He pretends to be highly offended when I offer him a mutual termination. What’s the matter Paul, don’t think anyone else will cover your wages? Because we both know they won’t, don’t we?
In better news Mooney once again takes Player and Young Player of the Month awards. Not dedicated to me this time. Noted. It’s another A+ report card for my monthly performance review from Chairman Jones. Cheers boss.
We did sneak in one signing ourselves, a £0 transfer swoop for limited Cowdenbeath right winger Ryan Ferguson. He’s not very good, but he’s only been given a 4-month contract to the end of the season as cover for Alexandre now that Schiavone is gone. He’s ‘optimistic about his future an Annan’. That’s nice. He has no future here.
Our first game of February is at home to Stenhousemuir (5th) – another team I feel like we’ve played about 85 times. I tell the team they will be anxious to get revenge, which is a very lucky guess based on the response, as although I feel like we’re always playing them, I have no recollection of the most recent result.
Revenge is ours! A comfortable win and a couple of nicely taken goals by Mooney. He really has been a gem of a signing. Wilkie ‘Wonka’ and attacking beanpole Hampl had a good game in the middle, hinting at the possibility of a Watson-less future.
I’m pleased to see our next game is also at home, to the usually obliging Stirling Albion. Go on Stirling, give us some more points.
Clinical finishing and an unwavering commitment to practising corners made the difference in a surprisingly tight game. If you float enough high balls into the box, one of them will land on Creag Little’s head eventually. Currie came off the bench to thrust home a header in the dying minutes, which ended his 10-hour goal drought. Lots of hacking, lots of heading: The Annan Way.
We have two away games to end the month, the first against Edinburgh City (5th). They gave us a 4- 0 spanking earlier in the season, so I’m starting with the scared tactic: The Shield. ‘Lightning’ McQueen has been moaning about playing time again and he’s probably a lost cause, but I give him a go at left back. He won’t be much use going forward, but we won’t be doing much of that anyway.
As much as I love the man-mountain Little at centre back, he does give away a lot of penalties, usually when there’s very little danger. This time, the City player had his back to goal, we had lots of players back, no obvious issues and then Little forgets the rules of the game and throws him to the ground just inside the box. McQueen was rubbish of course. Away games woe.
I get a news flash that Eastbourne Boro have made an offer to sign midfielder Jake Flanigan from Dulwich Hamlet on a free at the end of the season. I remember wanting to sign him at some point, so I quickly table a contract offer, which is apparently good enough to entice him to Annan as the deal is confirmed. His stats are a bit of a mystery, but I’m pretty sure he looked good when I had him more thoroughly scouted earlier in the season. Time will tell. Meet the new Paul Watson.
The news is all too much for one of our more colourful supporters, Colin Fitzpatrick. Lucy, can you pop round and check in on Colin?
Alan sends me something to read while I'm on the bog. Most of my nutrition is still coming from the Solway, so I spend quite a bit of the working day in here.
Fake news. Forhire is not facing a struggle to keep Mills at Annan; Forhire is facing an ongoing struggle to get Mills out of Annan. What was said between us will remain private, all I’ll say is, it was a long time coming. The man is unmanageable. All’s well that ends well, as after his dressing down, Temerity Mills finally accepts a mutual contract termination without any compensation. Good day Sir. The dressing room atmosphere immediately improves to ‘Very Good’. I treat myself to a sweet chilli haggis and large chips from the Solway to celebrate. Sweet, sweet, chilli haggis.
Final game of the month is against Brechin, just behind us in the table in 3rd place.
I think we’ve lost every game we’ve played against Brechin. This was a tight one settled by an early deep cross which found Allan unmarked at the back post. Paul Watson had a particularly poor game for us. He is 35 now and looks shot. Journalist Allan Cameron calls me about once a fortnight to ask when he’s going to ‘find his feet’ and start playing well. Needless to say I have been ignoring his calls. The coaching staff keep telling me he’s in decline, but I think the decline has already happened and he’s lying at the bottom of Form Mountain in a crumpled heap. He adds balance to the midfield in theory, but opposition players run around him as easily as they might a training cone. Next month will be time to give Beanpole Hampl a run of games. The title is now well out of reach, I just want to secure a play-off place and hopefully go into them on a good run of form.