Alpha Romeo Metaphor II

View attachment 283765View attachment 283757Monday, 19 October 2015 9am-ish

"Enzo, my friend," I said as he trundled out of his booth and towards The Alfa.

"Ah, my Little Devil," Enzo replied as he leaned down so we could talk.

"Whatever you're doing, keep it up," I said with a chuckle. "Not so many penalties and we're playing well."

"Yes, thank you, I do what I can," he said. "You are doing so well, making us all so proud. I can hardly believe we are doing so well."

"I know," I agreed. "First season back is supposed to be tougher than this but I must give the vast amount of credit to the players."

"Your too modest, my Little Devil. It's you who signed Parker-uh, Kakuta, Bernardo, Boyata, Pasa and Russotto."

"Well ..."

"And I'm even hearing that Guaraldi is quite happy."

"Really?" I said.

"Yes," Enzo replied. "People in the office say that he sometimes is humming tunes in the hallways. Nobody has seen him do that since he first became President."

"Wow."

"But I'm told that Savoia is red with anger that you've pushed him to the side," Enzo continued. "But since you're winning, I'm told that Guaraldi won't listen to his complaints against you."

For those of you who may not remember, Roberto Savoia was brought on by Guaraldi as Director of Football. Normally, the Director of Football at Italian clubs does all the buying and selling of players as well as the contract negotiations. I, however, have bucked that trend and Savoia has little to nothing to do except for my occasional dirty work like releasing or firing players.

"Thanks for the information, Enzo," I said.

"Of course," he replied. "You have an excellent day, my Little Devil."
 
View attachment 283152Sunday, 25 October 2015 late

Here's the weekend in review. AC Milan and Juventus won on Saturday. The Rossoneri cruised, but Juve needed an Andrea Pirlo goal, and a remarkably close-to-the-goal one (he shot from just inside the box) to overcome Udinese.

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Our next opponents, Empoli, beat Torino 2-0 in Torino. Wednesday's match is going to be tough as they are playing well.

Roma are finally getting their act together. The other surprise side this season is Cagliari. They thrashed Genoa 3-1. I don't think Gasperini is going to be manager of Genoa for too much longer.

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And the late match was a drab bore. And that's surprising considering it was Lazio and Napoli at Stadio Olympico.

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And here's the table after Round Nine.

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View attachment 283110Monday, 26 October 2015 10:00AM

"Alright, Gianni," I said to begin our coaches meeting. "What's the verdict on Russotto?"

"Well, it's not good," Head Physio Gianni Nanni said. "We did the scans at the hospital late last night. He's got two broken ribs where Andrea claims Antonelli got him with his elbow. He'll be out three to maybe as much as four weeks. A month."

"Dang," I swore. "I fear that the left wing is a poisoned chalice. Whoever plays there gets hurt. First Kakuta, now Russotto."

"And Lepiller has been **** out on the left," Assistant Manager Graziano Vinti added. "So which kid plays out there?"

"Tounkara?" Attacking Coach Simone Tiribocchi asked.

"Of course it has to be him," I agreed. "He did just win the game for us."

"We've got to work with Lepiller on his tactics," Tactics Coach Adolfo Sormani said. "But when we play him out right, he doesn't seem to give the ball away as much."

"Maybe he's trying to tell us something," Vinti added with a smirk.

"How long until Kakuta is back?" I asked Gianni.

"Late November," Gianni replied. "Worst case the start of December, best case mid-November. Because of the way he dislocated his shoulder, it just takes a long time to heal."

"Dang," I said again. "Alright. Enough of that. Fini, what can we expect from Empoli?"

"First off, they've got Cassano," Chief Scout Tomasso Fini said. That is Andrea Cassano the former Roma, Real Madrid, Inter, AC Milan man. The creative but also incendiary forward who could tear you to shreds with his brilliance as he might just turn his locker room toxic. "He's playing well. He has no foot speed left, so if our defensive midfielder marks him, I think we could easily shut him down. Their other striker Leonardo Pavoletti has been prospering thanks to Cassano's brilliance. Shut down Cassano, shut down Pavoletti."

"Their defense isn't that great," he continued. "Barba (you may recall him featuring for us last year) has been playing right back a lot. They leak a lot of goals. It seems to me the lack confidence in their keeper Nicola Leali. But it's not just him. They're all at fault."

"Outside midfielders Urby Emanuelson and Gino Peruzzi are pretty fast and will cause us trouble," Tomasso said. "Davide Di Gennaro drives the car. If Pazienza or Damonte or Vacca can shut him down, we're good. That's it. Pretty straightforward with them. They play a 442."
 
Serie B: Empoli v. Bologna

View attachment 282809Wednesday, 28 October 2015

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Empoli is a short, hour and a half drive away. It's a few kilometers east of Florence. The weather today in Tuscany was clear and cool but not uncomfortable. In terms of my Bologna Wear, I wore a scarf and a light coat over my suit ... nothing extreme yet.

Simone Pasa needs a rest so Michele Pazienza will be the defensive midfielder. Modibo Tounkara gets the start at left wing since he won the game for us last week.

The match started dull and tentative. Our first chance came in the 8th minute when Shawn Parker had his shot blocked. Their first chance came a minute later when Cassano lumped in a free kick from near midfield into the box. Urby Emanuelson managed to get a shot off, but it too was blocked and we cleared it.

In the 11th minute, Matthias Lepiller teed up Loris Damonte, but his goal was ruled offside. I'll admit that he was offside on this one.

In the 14th, Francesco Migliore sent a weak back pass toward keeper Dejan Stojanovic. Cassano was on it in a flash (or at least as flashy as his he could) and, thankfully, Dejan steered his shot wide of the post. He leapt to his feet screaming at Migs. Dejan snared the following corner to relieve the pressure.

In the 30th, Tounkara cut inside then zipped a pass over to Parker. Parker dropped his left should and went right. The defender bit on the fake and Parker stubbed his toe hitting the shot and rolled an easy shot right at Empoli keeper Nicola Leali. And it went in. Wait? What? Leali took his eye off the ball and unconsciously raised his left hand and the ball snuck under him.

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Parker was as surprised as everyone else in the stadium. We'll take it. Thank you very much. The Rossoblus who traveled across Tuscany went ape****!

We dominated for a stretch. In the 35th, Federico Casarini drew a foul about 25 meters out. Lepiller hit the wall with his free kick and was fouled as he tried to dribble past an onrushing defender at the edge of the box. The ref sprayed his disappearing spray twice, blew his whistle and Lepiller hit the wall again. Yet again the ball came back to him so he took a third whack and this one hit the post. An Empoli defender cleared it.

In the 40th, an Empoli defender thumped a high clearance toward the center circle. Dedryck Boyata leapt with Cassano for it. Instead of cushioning an easy header to Pazienza who was right in front of him or glancing a header out wide right to a wide open right fullback Gyorgy Garics. He tried for distance. It went right to Davide Di Gennaro. Di Gennaro headed the ball over Boyata to Cassano. Paz covered for Boyata and tackled the ball away. Unfortunately, Paz tackled the ball back towards our goal and right to the feet of Empoli's other striker Leonard Pavoletti.

We were in real trouble now. Pavoletti squared the ball out wide left to Emanuelson. Urby ran forward, made Garics look foolish and whipped in a cross. Boyata was near post covering Cassano and Bernardo was covering Pavoletti in the middle. Migs and Paz were at the back post but neither were covering Gino Peruzzi. Paz missed the header and Peruzzi was as shocked as everyone else in the stadium to have the ball at his feet.

He cleared the ball to safety.

Just after the fourth signaled there would be a minute of extra time, Cassano whipped in a low cross. Boyata watched the ball zip past him. Bernardo watched as Pavoletti stepped into the path of the cross and Pavoletti hit his first time shot right at Dejan.

1-1

Just like with Leali, the ball somehow got past my keeper. **** me. What a weird half of calcio.

The second half began with the same inept nonchalance we ended the first. Casarini passed out left to Tounkara in the Empoli half. The teenager just stood there and let the Empoli right back take the ball and hammer a long ball up the line for Pavoletti. This is the kind of situation I didn't want. The speedy Pavoletti in a foot race with Bernardo for a through ball. Thankfully, Pavoletti shot wide with only Dejan to beat.

"Graziano?" I said after a few minutes of Empoli over-running our midfield. "As you know, I was late getting out here..."

"I know," My Assistant Graziano Vinti interjected. "A late, nature call ..."

"Did they make any subs?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied. "Both outside mids, Emanuelson and Peruzzi are off. Um, Odion Inghale and Stefano Castellani are the replacements."

"They're forwards, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are boss."

"And what fkn formation are they playing?" I asked. "They look like they have five forwards."

"Well, let's see," Graziano said. "Four across the back. That's easy. One center midfielder. Two wingers, the subs. It looks like Pavoletti is ahead of Cassano and De Gennaro."

"It's suicidal, but it seems to be working," I said.

I went out and yelled at my players. I reset the marking and yelled at them to attack on the counter.

After the changes didn't seem to slow them down, I got Simone Pasa warming up. I wanted to give him a day off, but it was all able men into the breach at the moment.

Then in the 56th minute, Empoli's Portuguese right back Mário Rui chopped down Lepiller. Gianni soon signaled that the Frenchman was done for the day. So on went Pasa. Pazienza moved up into center midfield with Casarini and Damonte moved out to the right wing.

That didn't help, either. Since the last two times upfield, Tounkara gave the ball away, I yanked him off and put another teenager Antonio Calabrese on in his place on the left wing.

Then I told Paz to drop back and play with two defensive midfielders alongside Pasa.

Then the game went dull. Empoli were now unlikely to score against us, but Calabrese and Damonte aren't what I would call dangerous. By the 70th minute, it was obvious that Casarini was gassed, nothing left. So I got Leonardo Guerra warming up.

I kept hoping Casa might do something, but, alas, there was no magic left in his empty bag of tricks. So on went Guerra in the 76th. I conceded that we'd play for a draw. Fine. Points are good.

But in the 79th minute, Guerra had the ball about 40 meters out and plenty of time. He looked up, looked down and hit a perfectly weighted, slide rule accurate pass between the right back and the central defender.

Calabrese ran onto it and with his first touch slide it under the keeper.

1-2

I just stood there with my jaw on the ground. I was subsequently engulfed by staff and players rushing off the bench.

Had my two teenage prodigies just won us all three points? No! Fkn! Way! Boys who played under me during that half season I'd run the youth team, I might add. Day-Um!

And I thought we had it all wrapped up. We were well into the third minute of extra time and Guerra played Calabrese through again but Antonio let the defender have the ball. I have no idea what was thinking. Did he think he was offside? Because he's been trained by countless coaches and managers to play to the whistle.

But it got worse. Migliore could have controlled the clearance, but he let the Empoli player have the ball. The Empoli player gratefully hoofed it forward.

Of course, an Empoli player was first to the ball. I looked at the clock. 93:40. Would we be able to survive twenty seconds?

View attachment 282815Pavoletti drove at the penalty box then squared to Cassano. Boyata flew in with a crunching tackle that got ball first then plenty of Cassano. Cassano shrieked like he'd had both ankles amputated. The ref indicated advantage as Bernardo and Migs stood there and let Inghalo have the ball.

Inghalo played a through ball toward the end line for Pavoletti. Pavoletti smacked a first time shot from a tight angle that snuck under Dejan.

Every orifice puckered as the ball rolled across the front of the goal. Then it rolled past the far post. Then it rolled out of bounds for a goal kick.

What the **** just happened?

But that was it. The ref blew for time as Dejan's goal kicked floated through the night sky.

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View attachment 282203Saturday, 31 October 2015

Happy Halloween all you expat 'Murkins who no longer celebrate this holiday. I ate a chocolate bar in remembrance of my childhood when I walked the neighborhood collecting candy and then eating myself into a diabetic stupor.

Anyway, there were two matches today. The Udinese-Fiorentina lived up to the non-existent hype surrounding their match. Both clubs are off to horrid starts. Neither can score much and the only positive to come out of this match is that the Bianconeri managed to keep a clean sheet after suffering three straight losses. The Viola are in trouble. Basque manager Unai Emery may not have a job for much longer unless the results turn around.

And AC Milan won. No surprise there. The only surprise was that Atalanta traded body blows with them. Quite an exciting match.

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View attachment 282201My mobile started blaring Yellow Submarine by the Beatles just after the Atalanta-Milan match ended. That could only mean one thing: It was Esteban!

"Esteban, my friend! How are you?" I exclaimed upon answering.

"All those things about Calderon I've been telling you, I take them all back," Esteban exclaimed.

Our conversations since the summer had mainly centered around Esteban complaining that Cadiz didn't fire manager Antonio Calderon. Esteban had never liked his appointment, didn't like the signings they made this summer and the season had started poorly. We hadn't talked for a few weeks during which El Submarino Amarillo had gone on an undefeated streak.

"You do," I echoed.

"Yes, all of it."

"Everything?"

"Yes, you saw the result, didn't you?" he asked. "I have no idea why my fellow Cadistas can't be troubled to come out and support their team, but we few who show up do our best. I'm just out of bar after soothing my soar throat with a tall one and I had to tell you. I take it all back. They're playing like they should be. Like they did under you. Brash, attacking, not a clue about how to defend. But somehow they're scoring enough when they need to and getting the results."

"Yes, I saw the result against Betis Bs," I replied. "I was going to watch on Monday maybe once the match was available online."

"Oh, and I thought of you because the weather was damned near English!"

"What?"

"It rained in Cadiz!" Esteban exclaimed. "During a match. That never happens. Well, I guess it is nearly November. But the result puts us back into the play-off positions. I just hope Calderon can build from here. Convince the boys to play a little defense when needed. Mary Mother of Jesus knows we're scoring enough..."

"Right, you lead the league, correct?"

"You're so observant! Yes! But if my dear Yellow Submarine would only look after the back end occasionally, we could actually have a real shot at getting out of this festering ****hole of the Segundo once and for all."

"How is everything else?" I asked.

"Oh, good," he replied. "Cadiz Rossoblu will be gathering to watch tomorrow. I just know you're going to thrash Perugia. They are completely and utterly **** this season."

"Yes, they have not adapted well," I said. "But they didn't spend much money nor bring much of anyone in. The drama tomorrow is that they played us really tough last season. I've warned my squad to make sure they put in the hard work and avoid the banana peel."

"Oh, don't say that," Esteban said. "You'll only put foul notions into their heads. I've got to go, the boys are all calling me back into the bar. Talk soon!"

"Ciao, Esteban."

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Unlucky result there, all these injuries to wingers! :( No doubt you'll bounce back with a couple of upsets! :D
 
PatrickLFC said:
Unlucky result there, all these injuries to wingers! :( No doubt you'll bounce back with a couple of upsets! :D
Click to expand...

**** is about to get real so I hope you're right. We are getting Kakuta and Russotto back pretty soon but we're going to be short handed against Napoli. We have a 2 week international break which we'll really need. The bottom line, though, is that we could be either be sitting pretty or in world of hurt by Christmas.
 
When I said that we could be in a world of hurt by Christmas. Let me be a wee bit more specific: we face all the top clubs between now and the winter break. Napoli, Cagliari, Sampdoria, Inter in the Coppa Italia, Roma, Milan and then to cap it all off, Juventus. Cagliari 7th and Sampdoria are 6th.

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Enrico Pucci said:
When I said that we could be in a world of hurt by Christmas. Let me be a wee bit more specific: we face all the top clubs between now and the winter break. Napoli, Cagliari, Sampdoria, Inter in the Coppa Italia, Roma, Milan and then to cap it all off, Juventus. Cagliari 7th and Sampdoria are 6th.
Click to expand...

Brutal schedule there, but I'm confident there'll be some wins for the Rossoblu! :D
 
Serie A: Napoli v. Bologna

View attachment 281003Saturday, 7 November 2015

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The Stadio San Paolo wasn't full, it was about two-thirds full with the majority of the Partenopei packed into the end behind one goal raising as much **** as possible. Over 5,000 Rossoblus were behind the other goal surrounded by fencing and the perimeter guarded by several hundred police in riot gear. This left the middle sections rather bare.

I walked over to below our fans during the pre-game warm-ups and gave them some fist pumps to get their blood boiling a little hotter.
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I don't know exactly what I said during the pre-game, but I increased my volume with each sentence demanding that my players step up and impress everyone. I ended my pre-game speech shouting "all of Italy is watching, go out and show them." At this point my Assistant Manager Graziano Vinti flung the door open as everyone leapt to their feet with a roar and we piled loudly out into the tunnel and met a rather stunned Napoli side.

We took the game to them from the opening kick-off. Federico Casarini passed up to Shawn Parker who one-touched flicked a ball into the path of Modiba Tounkara out left. Modibo played a pass back in to Shawn and Napoli keeper Salvatore Sirigu was forced to make a diving save to prevent a 2nd minute goal.

That woke up the behemoth who leaned in on us and nearly squashed us. José Callejon and Hirving Lozano taunted us and tormented us with Gonzalo Higuaín as the pointy end of the spear. They simply overran my fullbacks Francesco Migliore and Gyorgy Garics. We just got lucky they didn't score 5 before the 20th minute.

But they did get one in the 8th.

Their Brazilian central defender Henrique got free on a corner kick and should have scored from his free header except that Michele Pazienza was doing his job at the near post. The ball bounced off Paz and right back to Henrique who hammered his second attempt home. It was a bit ironic that Callejon, Higuaín and Lozano couldn't score but a center back would get lucky.

1-0

In the 26th minute, we had a throw midway into the Napoli half out on the right. Garics threw in to Parker. Shawn spun past Henrique then had to beat him again on the dribble before he fed a pass into Damonte who had posted up in the box. Left back Camilo Zúñiga cleared out Damonte's feet from behind.

I looked at the ref and he had his whistle to his lips but the ball rolled to Parker who stepped past Henrique and Zúñiga and shot. Sirigu blocked the shot and the ball just laid there. Modibo Tounkara was first to it and rolled it into the empty net.

View attachment 2810001-1

Rafa Benítez didn't look particularly happy with his defenders as they sauntered upfield to restart.

Then we parked the bus for the rest of the half. Dejan Stojanovic made a fantastic save, Bernardo blocked a Higuaín shot and Higuaín missed three other gilt-edge chances. He was having a real stinker of a game. The great play of Callejon and Lozano were wasted.

I did some more yelling at halftime. I yelled about us being the underdogs and giving our supporters something to cheer for. They all seemed pretty pumped for the second half.

The first twenty minutes of the second half were pretty dull. Which I must say suited me just fine. I wanted Napoli's vaunted attack thwarted and frustrated.

Then in the 64th minute, we got repeatedly incredibly lucky. Again.

Bernardo thundered a Lozano cross clear. Omar El Kaddouri controlled the clearance and zipped a pass back into the danger zone to Lozano. Lozano spun and ran toward the corner chased by Migs and Paz. He beat them both and whipped in a cross. Boyata won the header but only got the ball to the top of the box and to the feet of Jonathan de Guzman. de Guzman's shot was goalbound but struck Migs and pinballed off several players before landing at View attachment 281004the feet of Higuaín who bounced a shot off Bernardo and out for a corner.

And I'd like to mention that during all of this, poor Simone Pasa was running uselessly back and forth across the top of the box trying to do anything useful.

Napoli got a little dispirited after more of our good fortune. This gave us an opportunity to get the ball out of our end and into the Napoli end. In the 70th minute, Damonte dumped a pass into the right corner for Parker to chase. He beat his defender and whipped in a back post cross. Both Raúl Albiol and Christian Maggio watched as Tounkara barged through them to win the header. Luckily for them, his header was tame and right at Sirigu.

Soon after I pulled off an exhausted Casarini. On went Antonio Vacca because of his defensive abilities.

Then the match went surprisingly dull. Despite a whole lot of gesturing and yelling by Rafa.

We past 80 minutes. I got several players warming up. Napoli manufactured a couple of opportunities but they fizzled. The Partenopei weren't happy about their inability to get past our parked bus and our ability to keep the ball for a couple minutes at a stretch.

Then in the 88th minute, Lozano beat Migs on the dribble. Francesco knew we were in trouble if Luzano would be able to have a clear path towards our penalty box. A bunch of Napoli players were all piling forward. Migs had already been carded early on but he knew it was better to get sent off then let Luzano sprint at Bernardo with the ball at this feet. So he clipped his legs out as he went past.
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The ref came over waving first a yellow card and then his red card. Migs didn't even look at him. As soon as he made the tackle he simply started walking towards the bench and the tunnel.

I took off an exhausted Paz and sent on Archimede Morleo. I yelled at my players to play a 441 with Pasa and Vacca as defensive midfielders. I figured that with Napoli playing as poorly as they were and that we only had to last around five minutes, I gambled that we'd be able to park the bus and thwart them.

I was right.

I was so pumped by this draw that I was high-fiving and hugging players and coaches. Parker and I even did a chest bump. This was a huge result for us. Rafa shook my hand and disappeared down the tunnel.
 
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