Atychiphobia

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MikeyC89

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First story so bear with me-

Concept;

Take a shell and build it into the biggest powerhouse the world has ever known.

How this will be done;

I?ve edited a team in the lowest English league (for me, Skrill North/South as I couldn?t get the add on leagues to work frustratingly enough).

So now, Gainsborough Trinity are now known as M.A.C. Milan. Everything has changed (barring the Badge... GRR!)

They have a stadium (if it can be called that) which holds 500, lowest ratings for training facilities, youth facilities, recruitment etc. lowest reputation ratings and cancelled all affiliations and there are no favoured personnel/ rivalries assigned

I have cancelled all contracts of all staff (inc. players) so when a manager is created and put into this team he will be all on his lonesome.... poor little fella.

In terms of initial finance, I?ve given them 0 transfer budget and a wage budget of ?1,500 p/w, this should allow for a first team to be signed up at the very least. They have no loan debt to pay off nor have any sponsorship deals in place at the start.
They have no preferred formations or philosophies? think you?re starting to get the picture.
NOTE
This could all go t*ts up very quickly so the first update on the story will be after I?ve started the career and got them through preseason with enough players to play a competitive match (which in itself could take some time).
Hope the idea has caught a few people?s eyes and imagination.
Feedback always welcomed.
 
to change the badge just change Gainsborough Trinity's badge in your logopack to your custom logo
 
URI MOON Hired as MAC MILAN manager.
View attachment 386406


So, here I am. Low stress he said. Low stress.


Dont know what wrong turn I took in life to get here but here I stand.


"Uri" My agent cried in an almost disbelieving hysteria.


"Uri I've got you a job!" he followed up with. "You start on the 2nd of July and report to a 'Justin Campbell', heres the address"

I looked at him quizzically as the lack of information raised my suspicion.

"You're becoming a football manager" he finally blurted out "oh dont worry, theres no expectation in this job, the team arent expected to do anything, its a no-lose situation down there - low stress!" his final words will haunt me till i die. Low stress he said. Low stress.
 
I roll up on the 2nd July to a rather shoddy looking place i can only assume to be the owners side project.


I get out of my car just as a rather beat up and backfiring 12 year old 4x4 comes into the car park.


A man in a cheap suit steps out.
"Aaaahh, you must be Uri," he starts.

My heart sinks, please do not say this is my new boss.
His overzealous hand shake and beaming smile tells me hes going to be a nightmare to deal with.

"Im Justin, owner of this" he sweeps his arm to the shocking pile of rubble he later refers to as...

"MAC Milan!! The, soon to be, best club in the world!"
again, his over enthusiasm is draining me.

We go for a coffee which develops into a meeting, which i rush just to get out of there, he informs me hes got a few of his mates to help out around the place, just the simple things like Assistant manager, head physio, chief scout and a 'lad to look after the young 'uns' - i can only assume he means Head of youth development.
I sit in shock as he considers them 'simple things' either this man is high or this is the reason why there is no expectation around here.

"We are expected to finish bottom this term, with this in mind im going to afford you 1,500 a week to build a squad with"
Cheers - i think to myself, i ask if there's any extra money available for my ambition, he says he will send me an e-mail later with what he can afford.
This is what i got;
View attachment 386405
Its going to be a long season
 
I set to work, getting to know the place. Soon learning theres nothing to learn.


I meet my 'assistant manager' - Henry Roberts to try get as much information as i can out of him
"well what would you like to know?" his opening gambit informs me its going to be a difficult conversation with him.

I ask him about our set up, what the clubs used to in terms of football style, what the fans like, who the fans like and ask if he can set up a squad meeting.

He laughs, laughs right in my face.

"What squad? the 'Training' sessions we hold attract a few local lads, no ones signed on" he states in an almost resentment fashion.

I raise an eyebrow to him

"Look, Uri, the players and fans they have all deserted this place."
At this point Henry noticed my lack of knowledge about the situation.

Que more laughing in my face.
I was about ready to punch him when he final closed the vacuous space known as his mouth. He turned walking away calling back;
"You dont know what you've gotten yourself in for lad"

Low stress he said. Low stress.
 
Later that night i find myself at the local with my phone and the newspaper for company.


I'm calling for every favour I have, from everyone that I know to just try get some glimmer of hope its not going to be all that bad.

Whilst on the phone a few of the lads round the pub hear my conversations.

The approach me slowly and almost sheepishly.
"Are you after players for MAC Milan?"

I put my phone down as i dont know quite what to make of their approach.
They look around themselves before one of them blurts.
"We'll come play for you"

These lads barely looked old enough to be in the pub but i was desperate.
I asked them all to turn up at the stadium tomorrow so they can show me what they have got and we can take it from there.


This gave me an idea. Trial Day.

I was immediately on the phone to Justin;
View attachment 386403
That was it... NO! then hung up.


Low stress he said. Low stress.
 
Credit to the lads from last night, they all showed up... and brought their friends.


I watched them with Henry for a little bit, some showed some real promise.


My suspicions were correct however, they werent old enough to be in the pub last night. the majority of them were only 16!


Some were good, some average, none of them impressed the scout. Which made me wonder, what the **** is he judging against? theres no players here so what could he be making his assessments on, theres no benchmark.


This thought made the realisation of this task dawn on me. I dont know where it was sheer panic or devine inspiration, well i do know, it was sheer panic, but i signed every one of those lads that showed up.
View attachment 386401View attachment 386400View attachment 386399View attachment 386398View attachment 386397View attachment 386396View attachment 386395

Using the fact i saw them in the boozer last night, under age, allowed me to wrangle them onto dirt cheap contracts which will kick in on their 17th birthdays, but now i have a creche.

I need a squad!


Low stress he said. Low stress.
 
After a busy day of signing up slave labour i went to see Justin to discuss the possibility of a parent club.


To his credit, he allowed me to say my piece;
View attachment 386394
Same result though. Stubborn b*st*rd.


Low stress he said. Low stress.
 
I decide to take my scout out for the day as we try to get some people on the books.


We look around and are throwing out offers to players here there and everywhere


Ive now decided to sign who i like the look of and then make a formation and tactics appropriate to what i have. My scout sees many a flaw in this logic, as do i, but i feel its the lesser of 2 evils.


My point was, why risk setting up tactics and a style of play and buying for that? that will restrict us in an already very restricted situation.


My scout scoffed, shook his head and continued being as useful as ever...


We are in full flow of contract offerings when all of sudden Henry rings. I look at my phone in disgust before answering to my Assistant.


"Uri, we have a friendly tonight, where are you?"


Oh balls. I'd forgotten, i wasnt going to let onto this fact though. I informed Henry that we were out on a player hunt so he is going to have to see to the friendly for me.


"What?! with who? what formation? what tactics?" he panicked.


I laughed down the phone, trying to mock his laugh but sounding like a bit of tw*t as result, my scout gave me a look like no other during this.


Henrys **** had fallen out. i calmed him down and instructed him to use who ever was to hand, the kids will play anytime, its a late night for them.


in terms of tactics, i told him to use any generic thing he fancied but to play tight and try spring the counter. Lastly i told him to call me once its done.


Low stress he said. Low stress.
 
I got a call from Henry just as i was getting home.
"WE DID IT!" he yelled

I winced and held the phone away from my ear as the boom of his voice pained me.

"3-1 winners, the kids did alright" gleefully he told me AALLL about the match.
View attachment 386393
After the painstaking hour of one sided conversation I told Henry he can take charge of all the friendly games as he obviously has the touch.

He went quiet, his **** had clearly fallen out again.

"Erm... yeah, yeah alright then, will do Uri." much more subduly put from him this time, i much prefer him this way.

Smiling i hung up and went off to bed.
 
Days of negotiations pass, just not what i wanted. Agents, players, scouts and the journo's all have something to tell me about someone.

But then there it is!

Matty Clinton.

First signature for me, for the team, for the club!

I excitedly rush to confirm, not reviewing his contract, clauses, scout report or anything else I just wanted a player on the books!
View attachment 386392
Matty my lad! you've either started something beautiful or just made the worst career choice of your life!
 
Jake Ellis becomes our third capture.
View attachment 386390

The press request a conference. Confused as to why, i show up anyway and answer a few mundane questions about my recent transfers and any upcoming activity.

After that glorious waste of a morning i start to look at the team on paper and try to decide how to have them play.

Including the youths, I have enough players to draft up a starting 11. With this i can set my formation and approach for the season.

Tinkering for the majority of the afternoon i think i have formulated a formation.

The formation suits itself to the players we have and potential transfers in.

The inability for the free market to produce any full backs of any quality has forced my hand to play a 3 at the back formation.

With this in mind, having a defensive mentality will probably not work well with the arrangement with the majority of our players being up field.

so f*ck it! were gonna take the game to teams! RUTHLESS AGGRESSION!
View attachment 386389
 
LOL this is an entertaining story.
I'll be definitely following this. ;)
 
Great writing, will be following.


Sent from my iPod touch using Tapatalk
 
Delighted with my previous nights work i arrive at training with the main aim to get everyone on board with my tactics.

With another friendly on the way i thought it would be a perfect time to get them all together, including Henry.

After the demo the players went away to train up on getting to understand the roles they will be playing in the side and practice the shape.

Henry did not look happy.

"I thought i was taking friendlies?"

I looked bemused by his challenging attitude, telling him he was taking friendlies, but ultimately he will be handling it my way.

He screwed his face up before wandering back to the training pitch, he had to have a final word.

"I need a hand round this place, im taking this lot, the kids, friendlies... " he continued like a little *****, but he did make a good point, we were a little light in terms of coaching elements.

I assure him ill get it sorted, if nothing else but to shut him up, then i get on my way as i try to think about how to get other non-playing people in.

Low stress he said. Low stress
 
A few days past and i'm coming up with absolutely no ides for who to sign in terms of coaches.

Im able to confirm the signings of 2 more lads for the team. Both centre halves which is ideal.
View attachment 386351View attachment 386350
So after confirming the papers want another word. I dont know if they are taking the p*ss with all these interviews or whether theres literally nothing else worth reporting going on in this town.

Then I have an idea, i pick up my phone and call my agent.

"Uri?" sounding scared more than anything, he must know I've found him out to be absolutely rubbish after setting me up with this gig.

I skip the wanting to give him a piece of my mind as i realise i need a favour so its best to keep him sweet. I ask him to send me the details of anyone hes got that could be of use in a none playing role here.

"Yes..." he finally gets out a little surprised more than anything, he picks up the pace of the call almost asif hes not wanting me to get another word in.

"Yeah of course, whats your e-mail again?... you know what ill figure it out. I will have you a list of people by lunch. Glad i could be of help" he hangs up.

The little sh*t knows hes screwed me over here.

Low stress he said. Low stress.
 
The day of our second friendly arrives, its another nothing game but our Henry is getting excited.

Hes texting me the line up, confirming the tactics alsorts. I like his enthusiasm.

Mean while im thumbing through the profiles of some people I'm trying to convince to come join our club in a non playing role.

Not having much luck i decide to head to the local to unwind a little bit. Who knows can lightening strike twice in that place?

On my way i receive a call. Its Henry.

"WE ARE UNBEATABLE... WE ARE UNBEATBLE"

again is yelling causes me to wince and hold the phone away from myself. If this is what im due to get after every friendly i might just strt going to them self and save the ear ache.

"Those tactics works a treat Uri. We were much more convincing today.... couple of lads have hurt themselves but they should be 'reet"

I ask for a bit more information on how we were 'much more convincing' but im not convinced myself.
View attachment 386349

I leave Henry to his jubilation and decide not to dampen his spirits by pointing out these teams are, with all due respect, there to be beaten.

I walk into the boozer and try to think about other things for the rest of the night.
 
The pub did not have its magic effect this time, just left me with a not so magic hangover.

I clearly had a few to many last night. As i freshen myself up my phone starts to go, an unsaved number i pick up.

"Hello Uri? Its Lawrie, we spoke the other day about possibly me coming up to handle the U18's?"

Surprised by the call back it takes me a second or two to regain my composure. We talk for a little while before i e-mail him an offer of becoming our U18 manager.

Then i get another call, my phones on fire today.

"Uri, Mark Goodlad here. My wife has told me that some work is better than no work, so i guess im in."

He talks to me asif i remember him, rapidly searching my failing memory banks i cannot remember what position i offered him. much to my embarrasment i ask him what he wants in terms of job satisfaction. It then becomes clear that he'll do as a first team coach.

I fire him an e-mail off with an offer and before the end of play they have both got back to me with acceptances so i confirm their respective deals.
View attachment 386343View attachment 386342

Today was going to be a good day. That pub has something about it.....
 
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