Cook Islands: a story of being ranked 202nd in the world

boozemonster

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Nov 20, 2008
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Home to Bhutan
A serious question must be asked. That question is HOW? How can this have happened? Complete self destruction. No a shot on target against the worst ranked team in the world. Not only no shots on target but we couldn’t defend either, not one bit, they ran us ragged. Not just ragged, they raped us, repeatedly.
Cook Islands 0-4 Bhutan
I can’t believe we fell apart so badly after our recent from, I hope this is just a blip on what is going to be an otherwise brilliant season. My assistant believes there is a lack of cohesion within my current team, well done detective, I hadn’t noticed!

Home to the Bahamas
Tough game against a not all too bad side. They had early game sown up and got off to a flyer, it was end to end action as we scored twice to take the lead and they pulled it back early in the second half. Elation in the stands a 93rd min goal by Jimmy Robertson, I went into raptures.
Result: Cooks 3-2 Bahamas
I sincerely hope that last games result is out of the way now, and we can continue getting result like this and the ones that preceded the Bhutan match.

Away to Dominican Republic
Being late September I had planned my holiday and thought that I might as well take the team with me (all inclusive of course). Not a good game for us, we took the lead but failed to defend it… badly. It Thoroughly ruined my holiday.
Result: Dom Rep 3-1 Cooks
This yo-yo effect of the teams performances is worrying, but in fairness this can be put down to the average age of my squad being 19, there are only a handful of player in the team that I first picked when I started the job over 3 years back and even those were debutants. It just seems to me that the new players are better until amateur training has its way with them; another pro or two in the team would really make a big difference.

Away to Fiji
Another old foe in the guise of Fiji. I am proud to say that the Fijians were never in the game one iota. Dominant play by all 4 central midfielder saw to that and another lovely couple of poachers efforts from Jimmy Robertson. The rout was completed with a long range effort that smacked off the cross bar onto the keepers back and into the open goal, knowing how this feels, I thoroughly ****** myself laughing.
Result: Fiji 0-3 Cooks
An up and down 6months, I shall have to take my assistants advice and gain more squad unity, this I feel can only be done by using all 6 sub towards the end of a match and hoping they feel the benefit.
Ranking: 140th
 

boozemonster

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Nov 20, 2008
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Well it’s that time again. Yes that’s right ONC Preliminaries time!!! Hurray!!! Most likely the only competitive tournament I’ll ever get to play in!!! This year held in Vanuatu.
Now my last attempt at this didn’t go all too well, I’m a little more confident this time, but it’s in 2 years time that I feel I might quality.
ONC Preliminary Group A
Cook Islands
Fiji
Papua New Guinea
Tahiti
Tonga

Papua New Guinea
At team that in the past I haven’t had much luck against, well it all changed today. A fine header at the near post from Robert Tua brought the first. PNG then replied with a raking ball across the goal mouth bundled into the net. Raptures once again as Jimmy Robertson lobs one over the keeper to the back stick for Tua to calmly place in the onion sack.
Result: Cooks 2-1 PNG
We have managed in the first game what we couldn’t do in the last tournament; get a point, and not just a point a win. As I left the stadium I could still hear the fans chanting “You’ve got a **** flag and you eat people” today I felt proud of my adopted nation.

Tahiti
Hahahahaha, the Tahiti centre back in the 2ndmin elbowed on of my lads at a corner, penner and a straight red. Thinks didn’t get much better for them either as we played most of the game on the edge of their box. A fine win against fierce rivals!
Result: Cooks 3-0 Tahiti
2 points from our remaining 2 games and the Cook Islands will have performed something they never have, qualification to a continental competition.

Fiji
After the recent results the boys all played with great confidence, Rua Tetava captain, playmaker and only pro on the field bossed the whole game. Not one of my players put a foot wrong except Jimmy Robertson who in fairness had a poor one. But I don’t give a toss, we absolutely destroyed Fiji, every time we came forward we looked like scoring, and most of the time we did. We looked like a Premier League side against Blue Square.
Result: Cooks 6-0 Fiji
And qualification is mine, oh yes! Although the fans are happiest about beating Tahiti, well I can’t blame them for that.

Tonga
With current for as it is and moral at an all-time high I was confident that the fixture would take care of itself, and it did. Once again the lads out played the opposition all over the pitch, this time Jimmy Robertson netted the only 2 goals of the match both on the end of Tetava’s through balls.
Result: Cooks 2-0 Tonga
How things have changed from 2 years ago, I went out of the competition without a point, now I qualify without dropping one. This really is a lesson in how important moral and team gelling is. Bring on New Zealand I’ll give them a run for their money with this form!
 

nilanjan2009

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Jan 6, 2009
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you go man....... you are making virtual football managers proud........I sincerely hope u can take ur team to the World Cup qualifiers....
 

ajw

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Sep 18, 2005
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wow congrats dude, keep it up! did u take a job in Belgium or anywhere like that?
 

TheCaptain

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Dec 31, 2008
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well done mate, when i finally get sick of this game im gonna try something like this, so expect me to be crying about how to use the editor so i can manage someone stupid like vietnam haha
 

boozemonster

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Nov 20, 2008
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you dont need the editor, you just need to load all teams from your nation in the game creation screen, im sure ive said this before. ive not taken a job in belgium yet, but its not for want of trying they just wont give me a job!

im also glad that no one doubts my story too, i read a thread yesterday about a bloke who beat porto 16-0 with benfica or something like that at it was bullshit. i can provide pics, just it would take up far too much room if i did that every match.

anyway back to the story...
 
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boozemonster

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Nov 20, 2008
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ONC for real
Group stage
Cook Islands
New Zealand
Solomon Islands
New Caledonia
Papua New Guinea
Well were in with the big boys here, and with recent form and results I’m quietly confident of getting through to the final, most likely against New Zealand. The Maoris are an unknown entity to me and the boys having never played against them, however I do think they might prove a bit too strong. 2nd place will do me fine though. I was wrong about the set up of the tournament in my previous ONC campaign, with the loss of Australia to Asia only the top FIFA ranked team automatically qualifies for the group stages, not the top 2 that I said earlier

tactic is below

Papua New Guinea
The match against PNG was even better than our last outing against them, 2 penalties and a red card saw PNG make no impression at all as we lubed them up and aimed for penetration. Tua Tetava had a storming game and netted the 2 spot kicks and also blasted a 25 yarder in open play.
Cooks 4-0 PNG
I’ve been working on a new tactic in this tournament and it seems to be going extremely well. Unintentionally the full-backs cut inside of the opposition wingers and saunter up to the edge of the box with the ball, this is allowing nigh-on everyone to get forward and when the ball comes in its a free for all. On a number of occasions I out number the opposing team by 2 or 3 more men in their box... TOTAL FOOTBALL!

Solomon Islands
We showed the South Sea Islands that we aren’t a team to be underestimated. The team once again looked in a different class as they overwhelmed the Solomon Islands, another hat-trick by Tua Tetava as the Cooks go marching on. 62% possession, 22 shots, 10 on target. The Solomon’s had one blocked shot in the whole game. 46% of the game was played in their 1/3 of the pitch, complete control.
Cooks 4-0 Solomon’s
My new tactic still going strong, in fact I think I’m going t post it here to see if anyone else wants to use it. It’s my old Chimney Corner one with some quiet large changes I’ve made after reading (the very good) tactical break down 40 page PDF file on this site. 3 points needed from my last 2 matches for a final against what looks to be New Zealand.

New Zealand
The giant of Pacific Island football knew what they were doing in the 9th min star Tetava was brought down and could no longer continue. The game played at 39 degrees Celsius wasn’t likely to be a game of flowing footer and was dominated by set plays. After a penalty decision turned down for a foul on Robertson the Maoris took the initiative with a placed free kick. Come the second half we drew level with a beautifully worked corner that Robertson got on the end of and in the 72nd min at a free kick 35 yards out Tetava’s replacement Nga Tangi would let no one else near the ball, too ****** right he blasted it past the poor New Zealand keeper, who didn’t have a chance. “you should stick to rugby” and “your flag doesn’t have as many stars as ours” was all that could be heard in the crowd (I don’t get their obsession with flags?).
Result: Cooks 2-1 New Zealand
Well we’re through to the final against the winner of New Zealand and Solomon Islands, i didn’t expect to even compete in this game but its going extremely well for us at the moment. Bring on New Caledonia in the last match, we’ll hammer them too.

Away to New Caledonia
Playing the host was always going to be difficult, especially when there is nothing to play for. With Tetava out my striker Rua Tua took the arm band and play very well scoring himself a brace of goals, however without Tetava to general the midfield we couldn’t keep New Caledonia trapped in their own half and leaked a couple of goals ourselves.
Result: N.Caledonia 2-2 Cooks
Well a fantastic tournament so far, we’ve not lost a game, out played nearly every team and qualified for the final, incidentally that’s against New Zealand in a couple of months time. My job is now past secured, I could keep it forever now I reckon, even if I never won another game.
Ranking: 80th
 
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boozemonster

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Nov 20, 2008
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Away to the Solomon Islands
Well because my assistant is an idiot I play against the Solomon Islands 5 times in 2012 once in the ONC which cant be helped, an 4 times away in friendly’s , Jesus he’s a ***. Well it seems my team don’t like the wet much, they struggled on the soggy pitch and although another win, not what I’ve become accustomed to.
Result: Solomons 0-2 Cooks
Continuing a fine streak of results, this is essential because the next 2 matches are the biggies.

Away to New Zealand
The tension before the game was rife. A fantastic start their CB was sent off in the opening moments for taking out Tetava (second time them bastards have done that) we used this to dominate the game and get a goal from a free kick. Unfortunately they got one back in the second half through good play in all honesty.
Result: N. Zealand 1-1 Cooks
A draw, a good result, we’ve got the away goal I wanted, now its down to how well we can defend at home in 4 days time.

Home to New Zealand
Neil Stuart was on fine form once again for the Maoris as for the second game on the trot he found himself dismissed in the first half (how he wasn’t suspended I don’t know). The scores were drawn at half time, but making a tactical substitution I took Jimmy Robertson off to bring young hopeful Robert Pareanga on. His performance was sensational; a hat-trick no less. That ****** the New Zealanders off no end.
Result: Cooks 3-0 N. Zealand

and the man of the hour Robert Pareanga

At a press conference after the match when asked who the best player on my side was, i summed up the situation and answered “Neil Stuart, without his great play we could have never won. The government are even thinking of giving him citizenship.” A fine victory, created by great team moral that we carried through the year, also a good bit of luck as we got a few penalties and played against 10 men in a number of matches. Also a bit more good news my DM has just been snapped up by Korean professional side “Suwon Samsung Blue Wings” so that makes 2 pro to take the team forward! Needless to say the New Zealand manager was also out of a job.
Ranking: 73rd
 

boozemonster

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Nov 20, 2008
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man this my favourite thread, so you're in the world cup?
unfortunately not, the set-up has changed since last years so its now a league of the top 4 ranked teams with winners of the group going into a play-off with the worst qualifier from Asia. The qualifiers are already under way so its 2018 for me.

the style of the thread is going to change slightly, for the friendlies I'm going to stick up a pic of the results at the end of the year and do an overview (still going to do a comentary on the tournaments though) i have to do this for 3 reasons:

1.I've now put more words to page on this thread than on most of my old uni essays
2.I'm running out of ways to make this interesting when I expect to win matches
3.I've just been commissioned to do some more script writing, so I once again have limited time

can i ask how you got your side to be as good as they are?
yes you can. its a combination of quite a few things.

firstly the teams I've been playing against aren't exactly brilliant.

a sound tactic for the type of players I have was difficult to find. getting the team to gel was also a big problem in the beginning but after a couple of seasons without too many personnel changes that happened. tactical consistency is a must to getting your players to settle.

being careful of what you say in pre-match conferences, if you cant give the answer you want then don't comment this keeps the players happier than saying you expect them to win, when they don't.

any LMM will tell you its important to tie down your better players with pro contracts; well as a national manager it isn't that simple, but if any of them are on pro contracts like 2 of mine make sure you build your tactic around them, mine both play in the middle of midfield,so i use one as a tackling machine and the other as a play maker, with the ball being played through the middle (if you've got a good winger; play it down his flank all of the time)

I found players with good potential take Robert Pareanga for example, he's not particularly good, yet one of the best I've got available. also knowing when to play your players is essential. He loves big matches, yet is ***** at other times, that's when I play Robertson (who gets nervous during big games) The best way to work this out I've found is to watch the motivation pop-up during a match and see how your players are reacting to different game situations.

er, what else? yes, that's it! I picked my opponents well, always a tiny bit above me so I had a chance to climb the rankings, and then below me for confidence before the ONC.

its not only the club reputation that affects the regens of a club, national coefficients do to, i think that's why even though the club teams in Africa are rubbish they every now and then turn out a right pearl of a player. In my 4 seasons I've found 2 lads that have the ability to play in a standard similar to about Division 1. this kind of coincides with the above point, if your team can improve, your regens can improve.

and finally it helps if you've been playing CM from 91/92 season (on the Amiga600) all the way through to FM 2009

hope this helps explain and maybe helps your game.



and there we have it, a fine season, wins all of the way through. up to 2 pro's in the team now, we no longer have a problem with team gelling and I've got my mine and the Cook Islands first ever silverware. The future is bright the future is Cook Islands. The Confederations Cup has just been drawn, i have England, Portugal and the USA in my group; so an easy one then next summer in Brazil.
 
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Kris

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Last time i checked this you were really struggling to pick up points and i thought you would give up then i see this lol. Hats off to you for keeping it up.

Might try something like it.
 

boozemonster

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Nov 20, 2008
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Its becoming a little silly and unrealistic in fairness, I'm thinking of knocking it on the head, i shouldn't be getting results like this.
 

nilanjan2009

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Jan 6, 2009
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well best of luck with the World Cup qualifiers then.....when they come around.......u have a star team out there it seems......carry on the good work mate...
 

pricey

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Dec 22, 2008
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whats the latest you got to world cup? whats your ranking now?
 
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boozemonster

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Nov 20, 2008
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as ive told Luis Aragones Legacy, ive been side tracked on a mission to get Bishop Auckland into the Premier League...

However because of the popular demand, i shall try and get a season done tonight, **** ive even forgot which season im in? 2012/13 i think, if the last screenie was upto date.

i think the next qualifiers are for World Cup 2018 (dont ask me how they work these things out, i still dont really know) the 2014 qualifiers are already on going and i wasnt invited :(

P.S Ive wanted to ask this for a while... whats the craic with the Points and Level thingy under the profiles <----- over there.
 
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