It depends on your intensity. I usually work out for 2 hours 6-8 times a week, though sometimes I crack on with power sets or alternate sets and then it goes faster.
Pyramids are excellent for increasing your max, but I wouldn't recommend it to begin with. 5x5's are excellent for getting a foundation.
No.
I've never had any good experience with gym instructors. I only seek advice from experienced guys (not the "educated" ones) who are closer to the body I want than me. Last part is important.
This. My diet consists of special K, whey protein shake, creatine, vitamins, maybe some beans or fruit for breakfast, snack on fruit, veg and high carbohydrate food at least 3 times before the gym, such as sandwiches, pasta, home-made curry, meal deals, subs etc (approx 5-6 o'clock), hit the gym and have a whey protein shake immediately after. Then I go home and eat about 300-400 grams of meat and the same in vegetables, at the same time making too much and storing it for lunch the next day. Then before I go to bed, more creatine and a casein shake. Protein and creatine is cheaply available at myprotein.com and is also of a good standard (it doesn't give me the ***** as bad as other brands do).
Don't wank before the gym, lowers your motivation and drive.
Don't do "mainly upper body." Doing the good legs exercises, such as lunges, squats etc, have a knock-on effect on the rest of your body by helping stabilise you by working out your lower back and core.
I personally do splits (not full), where I work out chest, bicep and tricep, thighs and calfs, back and shoulders on different days, in addition to doing abs each day. If you want, I can post my work-out routine? I've currently put on 4 pounds of muscle in 6 weeks.