And what about the players reactions to after-match talks? hey, you've scored fifteen goals, stopped thirty penalties, saved a stray kitten and managed to bring peace to the middle east all in one match, well done....I don't think I did that well....aaaaand his little green arrow goes all floppy....where did I leave that machete?....
Or, better still: hey, you've misplaced 2,345 passes that lead to goal, you beheaded the oppositions striker in their own area and then carried his head to our own so the ref could award a penalty, plus you shot our goalie when he stopped the said penalty and then pushed the ball in yourself....with the hand....you chopped from the remaining striker....your defensive work was not good enough: I think you're being unfair....really?...I swear I had the a machete lying around here somewhere....
Regardless of professional score, pressure, likes or dislikes, some reactions are just not logical, or, admitting the players are a bunch of flat brained morons, which mostly they are, and they will discuss anything you tell them, wouldn't it be nice to grab them by the ear (or rip off their ear, whatever you feel like) and take them in front of a TV and replay the exact minute in which they started running away from the ball so that the other team midfielder with a dribbling of 2 and composture of -25 (basically, he would pee himself if attacked by a hamster) could just run circles round our team, his team, the 2000 odd spectators and score? And tell them: see, sonny boy, this is what I mean about bad defensive work, you run towards the ball, not away from it....confused? gone arameic again? understand-o English-o?
Anyway, enough about the player interaction. What about cup draws? Swear on my pet goat I've never, ever, in some couple of hundred hours spent playing this game (for it is a game) had more than 5% favorable cup ties in the third or fourth round....and by favorable I mean either teams playing in my same division...and I'll even stretch it to include teams one division up but being half table or lower....either I get teams two divisions up (BSP - L1, BSS - L2, L2 -Ch....you catch the drift) or if I've managed to get to EPL, I'll certainly get one of the big ones earlier on, which I will be playing the week after, or the week before, or both....yes, yes, I know probability dictates that that can happen, and that a team from Slovakia played 132 games against the same opponent in just two weeks, but every year? this save, first year in BSS, got BSS and BSP teams...once bigger teams got in, third round, I think it was, got Colchester...which, incidentally, was my parent club.
BSP: BSP teams, L2 team (that was a stroke of luck, could have been L1) and then, whambamthankyouArsenal...nice thing is I only lost 2-1 and got a chunk of the gate money which allowed to upgrade facilities and turn Magda Rigby into a bad copy of Scrooge McDuck....tight fisted b*stard that he is.....
But this is so much part of the game already that I've learnt to live with it. I know that if I ever get into the Champions Cup, by some freak accident I'll get Real Madrid, Barcelona, Man U & City, Chelsea, Bayern and whichever surprise team is doing well that year all at once, in the same group, and only one classifies for the next round, and I've had a sudden attack of plague among my players, and the ones not quarantined are out six months with a broken nail....
Which brings me to injuries: 5 weeks for a twisted ankle? what is this, the Middle Ages?, do I have physios or witch doctors? are they using leeches to cure them? how far has he twisted his ankle, up to his ear? Either they start grading the injuries or really, start doing some competitive sport so they realize that you can be back from a twisted ankle in two weeks tops...unless you break or badly strain some tendon, but then say it's a grade III twisted ankle, for crying out loud....and yeah, as someone said, player X has broken his chest muscles in the gym...hmm...I'm a skinny 120 pound striker, lets see if I can bench press the weight equivalent of a small car...hey no, I'm your fitness trainer and I say that's unsound....but then again, as my reputation is obscure that means I have no common sense and I'm dumber than a couple of dumbbells...go ahead boy, let's see you lift a VW golf with one hand....give me one further break, please....
And don't get me started on the mid-season crisis, or the start of the second season slump, or the way the AI knows how to wring every last cent out of your transfer budget but then offer to buy your best player for a song and a screw you....and your player will still ask for a better contract as you broke up negotiations....I swear to God, never can find the machete when you need it.....
Anyway, rant time is over, steam blown and time to close this overlong post.
Bye.
