The Alfa Romeo Metaphor

Editor's note: I went back and edited the post in which Enrico meets Gwen. I retrospect, no young woman would go out on the town without friends. The changes are minor, but as this story arc moves forward, it might be critical. So I'm suggesting you regular readers might want to go back and read page 31 again.
 
We've offered Kris Thackray a contract. He'll be solid enough as a central defender and can play either fullback position.
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He's displayed enough determination and has convinced us he's decent enough at reading the game. Plus he's got 2 inches on Frampton and Hazell so that'll help when we face Route One specialists.

Dunn, Gregory, Johnson and Smith are all about to sign their contracts.

I'm still having trouble finding any left backs interested in talking to me. Since Fenlon and Thackray can play left back, I think I'll focus on bringing in a right back. On the island of above-average defenders, you'd think I wouldn't have this much trouble finding a right back. Sheesh.
 
It's July 4th, Independence Day in America. That has a entirely different meaning over here, when anyone even bothers to discuss it. It's always been a weird day for me. The feeling that I ought to do something to celebrate has receded over the years, but, you know, I ought to do something, right?

It's a good thing we didn't try to train today, I don't think anyone would have been able to concentrate all that well. The entire country seems completely giddy over the impending duel with the Mexicans.

Is Gerrard carrying a knock? Did Rooney have porridge or a smoothie for breakfast? Is Joe Hart pooing regularly? The media have utterly lost their minds.

Brazil play Uruguay first at 11AM and the big game is at 3PM.

View attachment 423900Brazil dominated but needed extra time to dispatch Uruguay. David Luiz scored in the 50th minute on a goal mouth scramble after a corner. But Luis Suarez won a questionable penalty in the 87th minute and Gaston Ramirez converted it to send it into extra time.

You can see from the statistics how badly Brazil dominated. Uruguay only had 1 shot on goal.

Their dominance paid off in the 116th when Fred converted a rebound from a Ramires shot.

Quite a good day for Chelsea's Brazilians.

After an hour of pre-game hystrionics or what otherwise passes for analysis, it was time for the big showdown.

GK: Joe Hart
D: Glen Johnson, Phil Jones, Curt Smalling, Ashley Cole
M: Steven Gerrard (C), Frank Lampard, James Milner, Jack Wilshire, Ashley Young
F: Wayne Rooney

The Mexicans were hoping that Chicharito and Carlos Vela would come to life and deliver the goals. El Tri had relied on a wide variety of players for their goals though Vela had delivered against Holland in the second round.

England got off to a dream start. Gerrard played a ball into the right inside channel for Rooney to run onto. He blasted a shot that hit the Mexican keeper and caromed right to Milner's feet. Milner side-footed the ball into the net and England led after 4 minutes.

0-1

In the 15th minute, Ashley Cole whipped in a cross that Rooney flicked goalward. Once again, the Mexican keeper managed to get an arm in the way. The ball fell to Ashley Young at the left 5m box corner. He had time to control the ball and smash a shot past the fallen keeper.

0-2

In the 28th minute, the Mexicans made a game of it. The keeper punted the ball over the half line. Jones headed it back where it came from but right at his Manchester United teammate Chicharito. Chicharito raced forward and played a pass between Smalling and Ashley Cole that Vela ran onto. Smalling was caught out and Cole just let Vela zip past him.

Vela rounded Hart and rolled the ball into the net.

1-2

In the 41st minute, Jonathan dos Santos hacked down Gerrard just outside and to the right of the center circle in the Mexican half. Dos Santos got booked. As Gerrard received treatment on the sidelines, Milner lobs a long free-kick into the Mexican box. Ashley Young was running across the top of the defense and chested the ball perfectly down into his path and zipped a quick shot past their keeper. It was truly bizarre how a player running in front of the entire Mexican defense could get so open.

1-3

Ashley Young had struck twice and at halftime it appeared that England were cruising for a semi-final berth.

England played the boring, safe game you would expect a Roy Hodgson managed team to play in the second half. Of course, this is exactly the kind of situation for that.

Then in the 66th minute, Young decided to finish off Mexico single-handedly. He got the ball out near midfield and raced down the left flank. The Mexican right back Paul Aguilar had neither the speed nor the skill to handle him. Young left the poor guy's shorts, spandex underwear, socks and boots strewn along his path to goal as he danced and teased the poor Mexican right back at speeds that would be illegal except on the German Autobahn or Montana. Why nobody came over to help the poor guy out we'll never know.

But with one last juke, Young stepped inside and hammered a shot near post past their frozen keeper.

1-4

That's all she wrote for the Mexicans. Absolute bedlam for two hours at my new favorite pub. England will face the winner of the Belgium-Switzerland match next Tuesday.

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Wimbledon v. Celtic

After the delerium of the afternoon, we all had to get our head's together and focus on Scottish champions Celtic visiting Kingsmeadow. What a contrast to Cadiz. Instead of a gleaming, new and empty Ramon de Carranza, Kingsmeadow is tiny, older and packed for a friendly.

This was my first chance to see my players in action. I was expecting a thrashing but was hoping that Celtic wouldn't be at the top of their game. I chose a 442 formation gambling that Celtic wouldn't be on form and that 2 strikers would keep them honest.

My first team players played credibly. The ball was mostly in our end, but Celtic didn't score in the first half. I started swapping out tiring players at 60 minutes, but my keeper Ross Worner and my center backs Frampton and Hazell played the whole match.

Celtic's second team scored against my second team in the 67th minute. But Frampton thumped in a header from a corner immediately afterward.

Yeah, they won the game in the 87th, but my players weren't embarrassed.

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Saturday, July 5, 2014

I get to introduce my new first choice keeper and my a new winger to the team. We had all agreed to start a little early so that we could finish in time to watch the World Cup.
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"Gentlemen, I'd like to introduce Chris and Simon," I said once everyone was laced up and ready to go out and start training. Chris stood up and just kept on standing up. He's impressively tall. "Chris is a keeper. For those of you who are counting that gives us two on the first team. Simon can play on either wing. Welcome. And remember, everyone, no hazing. And this time I mean it. And anyone stupid enough to try and haze Chris, well, I'll send flowers to your widow."

"I expect to welcome two more additions tomorrow," I continued. "Midfielder Steven Gregory and forward Michael Smith."

Today we started working on our offense. I left Sean to continue to work with the defense and U21 Manager Matt Woolley and I started walk the players through the offensive system.

We even finished in time to get showered and over to Kingsmeadow to watch the matches.
 
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Sunday, July 6, 2014

I decided that since I can walk to work, I ought to. It's just over a mile and it's quite pleasant.

Out of Claremont Gardens (my street), I take a right onto Maple road and cross Surbiton Hill Road (the A240). Maple become Beaufort Road becomes Lingfield Avenue until I hit Villiers Avenue. I cross Villiers onto Lower Marsh Lane. I follow Lower Marsh past the Surbiton Cemetery and the waste treatment facility.

Now I know what you're thinking, but this isn't America. The sewage treatment buildings are hidden behind a thick and tall mass of shrubs and trees. And the same for the graveyard. I follow this until I cross underneath the Berrylands Metro stop. Once through the metro station, I'm on Chilten Drive. I follow that for a block and take a left onto Surbiton Hill Park. Two blocks later and I'm walking into the park which the New Malden fields, aka Berrylands, is a part of.

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Today I got to welcome Michael Smith and Steven Gregory.
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View attachment 423605I think Steven will provide some maturity and calm in the middle of the field. Our midfield is going to be quite young. I'm seriously considering making 16 year old Mark Tomlinson Gregory's backup. The kid shows promise what better way to learn than from Gregory.

As the players were making their way into the facilities for showers and massages for those who want them, my Captain and Vice Captain approached me.

"Me and Rubes been talking," Andy Frampton said. Reuben Hazell nodded in agreement. "Normally, we all call the manager Gaffer or Boss."

"Yeah, but that don't seem appropriate," Hazell added. "You being Italian and American and all that."

"Yeah, so we been talking," Frampton continued. "We think he have a better Nome de Plume, if you will."

"And if you're not okay with it, we'll call you Boss or whatever you prefer," Hazell interjected.

"Anyways, me and Rubes is big fans of Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather," Frampton said.

"So we want to call you Don Pucci or The Don," Hazell said. "If it's okay with you and all that."

"You seem to want to keep it light around here," Frampton added. "So we just see it as one way of doing that."

Several thoughts crossed my mind. First, if they had any idea I was in over my eyeballs with the Camorra. Second, would it lead anyone to think I might have real, actual connections like I was ****ing married into the mafia. Third, where was Matthew Modine to rescue me from ... oh nevermind. And fourth, oh what the ****, it sounds like fun.

"Sure," I shrugged.

"We even got you a pinky ring," Hazell added. I laughed as my face met my palm.

"Actually, since I have you two together," I added. "I want to talk over something serious." They both nodded. "So you'll notice that I'm pretty calm. I don't let much get me excited or angry. But there are a few things that do. As the leaders of this team, I want your backing when I do lose my **** and start screaming and chucking stuff."

They nodded.

"I'll do it strategically like when we're losing, not concentrating and just didn't bother to show up," I continued. "Everything I do is strategic. I'll do everything to accomplish some end. If you ever wonder what the **** I'm up to, feel free to ask. I'll gladly fill you in."

They nodded.

"And you guys know what Killers are don't you?" I asked. They glanced at each other wondering if the other knew. "You probably call them something else, but it's punishment. I'll often give the team the day off after games. But when we lose and play poorly, we'll do Killers. Killers are sprint to the 6 yard box and back, to the penalty box and back then out to the center line and back."

They both knew what I was talking about now.

"Yeah, those," I said. "We'll do them as long as I feel appropriate. In the long run I want to instill some fear of my reaction to losing by not working hard."

"We're totally with you, Don Pucci," Frampton said.

"Laters," said Hazell as they walked toward the New Malden facilities for their showers.
 
Tuesday, July 8, 2014

We coaches decided that the team would watch the match at Kingsmeadow then hop on the bus for the two hour bus ride to Braintree. We also decided to eat while watching as everybody will have digested by the team we reach Braintree. England kicked off at 3PM, we kicked off at 7:45PM. If it came down to extra time, we'd watch on the TVs on the bus.

We made everyone promise that if we left as soon as the match was over (5ish) that we wouldn't play like we'd just gotten off the bus.

Everyone was really nervous as we settled in at the Middle Bar in Kingsmeadow. England were favorites, but nobody knew what to expect from the Swiss. They'd qualified very easily, but their group had been the easiest of the easy. Sorry, but Iceland, Norway, Slovenia, Cyprus and Albania is not tough competition. But if they played well and England didn't ...

The lone change was Hodgson chose Leighton Baines over Ashley Cole.

The match started with both sides being careful to not allow the other to gain any advantage. Eventually England were able to camp in the Swiss end and were rewarded in the 35th minute by you-know-who. Ashley Young broke down the left but had the ball taken off his foot by Stephane Lichtsteiner. Lichsteiner fed the ball to the right midfielder Pirmin Schwegler. Shwegler idiotically passed the ball up the middle.

Steven Gerrard pounced. He intercepted and unleashed a grass-clipper from 35 yards for the near post. Unfortunately for Gerrard, Rooney was in the way. Rooney didn't have time to jump or do much as shot was fiercely struck. He did manage to lift his foot and stamp down, controlling the ball dead. Fortunately for England, the Swiss keeper couldn't stop his near post dive and The Roonster had the simplest of tap-ins.

1-0

At half time everyone loaded their stuff into the bus so we'd be ready to go.

Switzerland evened the score on the stupidest inventions of the modern game: the long throw. Christian Schwegler heaved a long throw toward the near post. Phil Jones reacted late and Swiss attacking sensation Eren Derdiyok rose and flicked the ball over the outstretched arms of Joe Hart.

1-1

England created plenty of chances but just couldn't get anything to click. As the ref blew for full-time, everyone groaned because we'd have to watch extra time from the bus.

The extra session was purest Hodgson. And by that I mean that England took no chances, created fewer and it all came down to penalties. I don't believe I need to remind anyone on this island how England have faired in the past on penalties.

The bus was dead silent as Ashley Cole placed the ball on the spot. He adjusted it. He stepped back, looked at the ref who blew his whistle and drilled the ball just inside the left post.

1-0

Blerim Dzemaili scored. Hart went the wrong way.

1-1

Frank Lampard stepped up. Several of the coaches were unable to watch (I won't say whom). Lampard is usually money for Chelsea, but this was England. He blasted it hard and high and straight down the middles as the keeper dove to his right.

2-1

Xerdan Shaqiri tried to be cheeky by hitting the ball softly down the middle ala Pirlo in 2006. But the shot wasn't high enough and Joe Hart managed to get a toe on it. It hit the crossbar and bounced harmless downward and away from the goal. Shaqiri had missed!

2-1

Rooney smashed his shot into the side netting.

3-1

Gokhna Inler did the same.

3-2

Gerrard looked as calm as ever. The England Captain placed the ball and stood there staring at the ball for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, the ref blew his whistle and Stevie G lasered a ball along the grass toward the left post. The Swiss keeper guessed the right way but only managed to deflect it into the side netting.

4-2

Eren Derdiyok had to score or England were through. He coolly sent Hart the wrong way and rolled the ball into the net.

4-3

Jack Wilshere could win it for England. He placed the ball. He stood up. The camera zoomed in. He stared into space, waiting for the whistle. It blew. He unleashed a rocket into the upper left corner. Perfectly placed.

The bus erupted. Hugging. Kissing. Jumping up and down followed by bellowing and eventually by singing. England had finally won a match in a tournament when the match went to penalties.

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Braintree v. AFC Wimbledon

Everyone was unsurprisingly pumped up to get out and play.

The new boys Dunn, Thackray (who'd just signed today), Simon Johnson and Michael Smith all looked good. Steven Gregory's fitness wasn't good so I only gave him the last 30 minutes.

Not much to report. Braintree are a Conference side and we thrashed them. No shocker there.

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Finally caught up to the most recent update, fantastic writing mate! The Dons are so much more of a challenge than Gillingham would have been, good luck Don Pucci!
 
Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Since we'd played the night before and gotten back to Kingston-Upon-Thames at 12:30AM, I decided that we'd train from noon to 2PM then break for the other semi-final.

Several other players we'd been chasing signed today and I introduced them. Having had zero luck finding a left back and a rather hard time finding a right back, we (and by we I mean the scouting staff and I) finally settled on a young man named Cameron Dummigan. He's 18 so he's perfect to be a back-up to Fenlon and Thackray. The other is a back-up goalkeeper Daniel Lincoln. I also added another promising teenagers that other clubs had given up on; Fabian Rowe was a winger who can play with either foot. I'm hopeful he could also be a back-up this season, but I'll have to see how his development goes.

Now both my keepers are top notch for League Two and both are improvements over my current keeper. I placed Ross Worner in the shop window, so to speak. I kept an eye out and caught Ross just as he was getting out of his car. I thanked him for his service and said we were going to offer him to clubs. He looked crestfallen but said he understood. Selling him would be a tidy business as he'd signed for free for Wimbledon. I told him I'd be reinvesting what I garnered from his sale. We shook hands and like a true professional, he didn't show any signs that he was done at Kingsmeadow.

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My phone jangled in my pocket as I walked out toward where everyone was warming up. It was Andy Walker, one of the scouts.

"Hey Andy."

"Hey, I think I found another forward for us," he said. "He's young and fast. He's a good finisher and a good dribbler. Even better he's free."

"Heh," I chuckled. It sounded too good to be true. "C'mon, Andy. Your selling him too hard. Is he 5'1"? In a mental institution right now? What?"

"He's got tendinitis in both knees," he replied. "Well, he is short. 5'5" but that's not too short."

"Okay, when is he expecting to be able to train again?"

"Mid August."

"Alright," I replied. "Send me the links to some vids and then we'll get him in to evaluate his knee problems."

"Will do. Later."

"Ciao."

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World Cup Semifinal Brazil-Germany

This was the dream matchup. Two of the historically biggest teams facing off yet again in an important match. Since I am rooting for England, I was just hoping for penalties and loads of injuries for the winner.

Neither team disappointed. They attacked each other back and forth the whole match. The Germans were confident that their defense would hold and the Brazilians had to be Brazilians in front of the home fans in Rio. Could you even imagine what Brazilians would do if the Selecao played conservatively in a big match at home? Well, we'll still have to wonder.

The Germans opened the match up with a classic German goal in the 3rd minute. Athleticism combined with superior technique. The tall, athletic German central defender timed his run perfectly, out-muscled the Brazilian defender, out-jumped the aforementioned defender and thumped in a header.

The Brazilians weren't worried and exchanged body blows with the Germans figuring sooner or later something good would happen.

It did in the 58th minute, but in the most unlikely ways; Route One Futbol!

Dani Alves received a throw from the keeper, turned, looked upfield and thumped a high, long ball towards Neymar. Now normally, you'd say something to the effect of "what a waste of a pass, why give the ball away so cheaply." Normally, you'd be right. Neymar is 5'9" up against a towering, athletic German central defender.

However this time, luck was with the Brazilians. Or should I say the swirling wind. The wind changed the arc of the punt from Dani Alves and the German defender mistimed his interception. Instead Neymar pounced on the miss, took one touch and lobbed a ball into the path of a proto-typical German striker who just happens to play in Spain and recently decided he's play for Brazil instead of Spain.

I speak of Diego Costa. Costa steered his header past the flailing German keeper and the game was knotted.

Despite the sweltering heat or maybe because of it, the game opened up even more.

In the 90th minute just after the fourth official had signaled for 4 minutes of extra time, Fred (who'd come on as a sub for Lucas Moura) braincramped and chopped down German captain Fabian Stephan when Stephan had his back to goal at the side of the penalty box.

The Brazilians begged and pleaded but you know how much of a difference that makes.

Stephan strode over to the penalty spot with the ball once the Brazilian histrionics had subsided. Fortunately for Brazil, he didn't hit his spot kick very well, the Brazilian keeper Diego Cavalieri guessed the right way and parried it away for a corner.

Extra time came soon after.

In the 101st minute, the Germans won a corner. The usual jostling and handbags ensued. As the ball swung in, subsitute Thorsten Stumpf went flying, pushed by Sandro.

The ref immediately pointed to the spot. Surely the Germans would end it here.

The Brazilians nearly lost their minds. Diego Costa received a yellow card for his remarks to the ref. More cards could have been given.

Stumpf grabbed the ball and strode to the penalty spot just as confidently as Stephan before him.

He blazed his spot kick over. The Soccer Gods had smiled on Brazil yet again!

Both teams settled down and played it out hoping to win penalties. Bets were placed for undisclosed amounts of money inside Kingsmeadow's Middle Bar. Odds were with Brazil after the Germans had missed TWO spot kicks, right?

Michael Willmann missed for Germany. Gee, what a shocker.

Thiago Silva missed.

Thorsten Stumpf redeemed himself and scored to make it 0-1.

Diego Costa missed.

Fabian Stephan also redeemed himself and scored for Germany. 0-2

Fred missed for Brazil.

Florian Reuter had the chance to win it for Germany.

He did.

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NOTE: I have no idea why the German team isn't made of actual German players? Sup w/ that?
 
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The German national side being made up of nobodies kills me every time!!!
 
Riess said:
The German national side being made up of nobodies kills me every time!!!
Click to expand...

What's weird is they are pretty good generic players, but they don't have a superstar like Ozil or Neuer or Schweinsteiger in the side. And what's weirder is those superstars exist for the clubs. Did they not get the rights to the German nat'l team? I know they don't have the rights to the EPL, but c'mon ...
 
Enrico Pucci said:
What's weird is they are pretty good generic players, but they don't have a superstar like Ozil or Neuer or Schweinsteiger in the side. And what's weirder is those superstars exist for the clubs. Did they not get the rights to the German nat'l team? I know they don't have the rights to the EPL, but c'mon ...
Click to expand...

I think it's something to do with licensing, sadly. There are other teams/leagues like that, too, in Asia. I think it's Japan but not 100%. I think a few years back the players had similar stats to their real life counterparts but just had their name changed - again, I could be wrong and I'm not sure if they still do so.

Out of interest, are Braintree in the Prem Conference or North/South?
 
Friendly: AFC Wimbledon v. Blackburn Rovers

Friday, July 11, 2014

Birmingham, Blackburn and Bolton visit Kingsmeadow today for the Wimbledon Kickoff Challenge. We play Blackburn. I've scheduled three of these mini-tournaments to raise some cash for the club. Sky Sports will televise which means additional revenue.

As the players got dressed, I got everyone's attention.

"Alright, listen up," I began. "Blackburn are in the Championship. They seem to have stabilized despite the idiotic owners and should thrash us. We're doing this for two reasons. First, to make some money for the club. Secondly, to practice defending against a superior team. My plan is that by the time the season starts, League Two teams won't be a problem to defend against as we've practiced against some top teams."

"So relax and don't worry about going forward," I continued. "Wools (U21 Manager Matt Woolley) has been working with you on that so just relax and have fun when we break forward. Concentrate on working hard for each other on defense. Pay attention to our shape defensively. Stay compact and don't let their fast strikers use their speed."

"Bottom line," I said in conclusion. "The result isn't important, it's about playing the correct way and building up our fitness. Alright?"

Everyone nodded.

View attachment 423019We defended admirably. Most of Rovers shots were from long-range and they only connected on a few headers.

There were a good number of moments when Sean (Asst Mgr) and I looked at each other and nodded because they were definitely doing what we asked defensively.

What a difference from last season at Cadiz! Lord Almighty...

In the last ten minutes, I had to substitute some players as they were completely exhausted. Youngster Ryan Sweeney played a key role in our goal at the death to send the match to penalties. As an FYI, the rules were 90 minutes then penalties if tied.

Left winger Simon Johnson received a pass out left and jogged forward with it. He drew the left fullback out and played a ball out to the overlapping Sweeney. Sweeney's not fast (AC 6, Pace 6) but he's fairly determined. Johnson played a pass so your average left back could run onto it. Unfortunately, this gave the Rover fullback time to get over.

But Sweeney won the tackle and his cross found Harry Pell free at the 6 yard box.

We lost the penalties but so what. We kept up with Blackburn mother****ing Rovers, man. That's so cool! I told the players as much in the dressing room afterwards.
 
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