It is no small irony that when she's not appearing on The Apprentice belittling the ruthlessly ambitious and hapless for the amusement of TV viewers,
Karren Brady looks after the day-to-day running of
West Ham United, presumably for the amusement of football fans who support clubs like Chelsea and Millwall. And having told Avram Grant "You're fired!" shortly after yesterday's relegation to the Championship at the hands of Wigan, Brady and her
double-headed bongo-peddling employers Gollivan must now find a replacement for the hapless Israeli, who they now stand accused of sacking with undue haste by people who simultaneously agree that he should have been handed his P45 over four months ago. Both views are correct.
There has been little sympathy for Gollivan or Brady in the wake of West Ham's relegation, but now they must devote their time to finding a replacement for Grant, in a bid to bounce straight back into the Premier League.
Neil Warnock has been installed as an early favourite to get the job, what with his position at QPR rumoured to be far from secure despite him having marched the club into the Premier League as Championship winners. The names of
Martin O'Neill,
Nigel Pearson and
Chris Hughton have also been mentioned, although given the recruitment policy at the Boleyn Ground since Gollivan and Brady took up the reins, it would be no huge surprise if they ended up appointing an upturned mop with felt eyes and a mouth glued to its head, whoever's running the Queen Vic pub on EastEnders these days, or Jedward.
According to today's Daily Mail, midfielder
Paul Scholes will stop raging against the dying of the light come season's end and could be one of up to eight players to depart Old Trafford during the summer.
Tomasz Kuszczak is believed to be on his way, with United clearly unwilling to let him take over the goalkeeping baton from the retiring
Edwin van der Sar, due in no small part to the belief that, on the evidence of his performance against Blackburn on Saturday, he'd almost certainly drop it.
Michael Owen and
Owen Hargreaves are almost certain to be shown the Old Trafford exit door,while
Dimitar Berbatov,
Wes Brown,
Darron Gibson and
Jonny Evans could also find themselves surplus to requirements if suitable offers are made, with any funds generated going towards the purchase of midfielder
Wesley Sneijder from Inter, winger
Ashley Young from Aston Villa and goalkeeper
David De Gea from
Atlético Madrid.
Across the city,
Manchester United's noisy FA Cup-winning neighbours have told
Carlos Tevez they won't stand in his way if he decides he wants to leave the club, prompting the snarly Argentinian to muse that while he'd like to hang around to try to win the Premier League title, he may quit the club so that he can spend more time with his children, who live in Buenos Aires with his estranged wife. "No, no, it's not money," insisted Tevez, managing to imply that is, even though it might not be. "I want to put things clear; I have nothing against Roberto Mancini or the club," he continued, managing to imply that he has, even though he might not have. Anyway, Roberto Mancini has given Tevez's "people" just a fortnight to decide what exactly it is that's motivating their client.
Blackpool's Welsh international holding midfielder
Matthew Vaughan could swap one bleak and desolate northern English outpost for another by moving from Blackpool to Sunderland during the summer. The main difference between the two locales? In Blackpool the donkeys toil for their living on the local beach, in Sunderland they get picked to play for the local Premier League football team.
Meanwhile in Spain, former Spanish international midfielder and Barcelona B coach
Luis Enrique has expressed his interest in the soon-to-be-vacant Atlético Madrid manager's job, while the same club's striker
Diego Forlán could be on his way, having fallen so far our of favour at Atlético that outgoing manager Quique Sánchez Flores didn't even include him in the matchday squad for yesterday's home victory over Hércules.
Football transfer rumours: Jedward to manage West Ham? | Football | guardian.co.uk